I just hope it’s always me. Even if it’s not, I hope it’s always me. I hope when she walks down the aisle and you shed a tear at her beauty that for a split second you’d hope it was me under that lace veil. I hope when you go to the coffee shop in busy New York City and the barista calls my name that you go to reach for it just by habit because I’m on your mind so often that you start to confuse my name for your own. I hope when she asks what you want to name your first daughter that you casually say “grace” and when she asks why you just tell her that you think it’s pretty and not that it’s the name of the first girl who broke your heart and you sure as hell broke hers. When you see a girl with dark chocolate brown hair and fiery eyes walk by at dinner when you’re with your wife, I hope you run out and scream my name in hope that it will be me, the only girl to ever know why you really hate your dad, and why you want so desperately to be a hero, and how you got your heart broken for the first time. But the thing is, I also hope, more than anything in this word, that fate will be in my favor and I will be the one walking down the aisle, and you will be reaching for my coffee to bring to me in our big comfy California king, and that we will name our first daughter something strong and beautiful.. maybe after your mom who was more supportive of us than any of my family. And I hope when we are having lunch at our favorite little bistro and you see someone pass by who resembles the first person you loved that you don’t even take a second glance because you are so happy that in the end it was you and me, how we got the ending we talked about in the back of your car on our first date when you whispered in my ear that it was me, it would always be me, and you swore on that back road that I would be the person you married. God damn I hope you’re right.
I hope it’s me because it’s always going to be you
but I mean just imagine Nico when he hears that gay marriage is legal. Imagine the boy who grew up in a time where who he is was frowned upon and considered a disgrace. Imagine the boy who all his life believed that there was something wrong with him. Imagine the boy who buried his feelings and told no one in fear of rejection or of being hurt physically or not. Imagine the boy who has been told countless times that men and women were once a whole and were split apart and that is who your soul-mate is, imagine him trying non stop to think of a scenario in which he was originally a body of two males. Imagine the boy who was immediately feared for his father, who is labeled as scary and mean, who is really a sweetheart who wants a home and friends and family, imagine him being petrified to even look an attractive male in the eye. Imagine the boy who probably throws up whenever one of the seven try to hook him up with a girl. Imagine the boy who most likely cries whenever Jason mentions telling someone, saying he’s “not ready” or “doesn’t care about coming out” but in reality he’s just petrified….he’s petrified that Hazel of all people would look at him with disgust like the people from the World War ll time period. Imagine the boy who could face Tartarus unafraid but the idea of telling Jason, a friend, the secret he hasn’t told anyone all his life….not even Bianca, terrified him to the point of killing all living things beneath his feet. Imagine this small boy being told that gay marriage is now legal all over America. Imagine the seven, not even knowing he is gay, running to tell him that they are having a rainbow themed sleepover at the Zeus cabin as a celebration, and he is invited. Imagine Jason walking with him to the cabin smiling brightly and patiently waiting for Nico to speak. Imagine the seven and Nico spending the night playing twister and eating chips and talking about the legalization. Imagine Nico staring at his sister, who is smiling and overjoyed by the news, and bursting into tears and running to hide in Jason’s closet. Imagine the seven being bewildered and asking him if he was okay….imagine Nico’s reply. Imagine Nico speaking in a quiet voice that is a mix of fear, despair, happiness, regret, and anger. Imagine Nico slowly opening the door and looking each and every one of them in the eye and finally saying the words that haunted him his whole life, imagine Nico finally speaking the words that he used to have night mares about….. “i’m gay”.