saying tattoo

Things the Hogwarts Houses say

(loosely based on conversations I’ve had/overheard)

Hufflepuff -

  • “If you don’t start singing along to High School Musical with me in under 30 seconds you will no longer be my best friend" 
  •  "I swear on my chicken nuggets-”
  • “Yes I made that joke up by my self - no it’s not from Spongebob Squarepants how dARE YOU-”
  • “Speaking of Spongebob can we just take a few moments to discuss how much of a masterpiece that first movie was please”
  • “Ah yes, it’s 3 in the morning, time to get emotional and tell all my friends how much I love them”
  • “You made me chocolate??? Oh my God I love you so much thank you I’ll have some right no - THIS HAS RAISINS IN IT YOU TRICKED ME
  • “Oh my God yeah I saw that movie, my favourite part was when - oh shit wait there’s this adorable kitten video I meant to show you last week and I completely forgot let me get it up on my phone”
  • “Sorry I’m late I was up all night watching those videos where kids get surprised with puppies”
  • “Are you awake? Great, let’s start planning our future homes together, I have a pinterest board ready”
  • “This is my favourite photo album! It’s full of photos of all the cats and dogs I’ve made friends with on my walks, I’ve even given them all names”
  • (crying) “Stop calling me emotional God damn it”

Ravenclaw -

  •  "Of course I remember you said you liked the colour red, you told me at like 1:35 am last year in May"
  • “What? Simplifying equations? No, I can’t help with that but I do know all the words to every Simpsons episode in the first 5 seasons if that helps"
  • “Sorry I really can’t go out today. No I’m fine, I’m just stressed I’m doing something important. I’m trying to memorise all the words to this documentary about frogs - What? Yes of course it’s important!”
  • “I discovered and fully analysed that meme 3 weeks ago, step up your game”
  • “What do you mean why do I have a folder full of strategic plans on how to succeed at animal crossing, that’s not weird?”
  • “Sir, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve been doing my own research and you’re getting all of this wrong. Well yes I know I’m not the teacher here but - Yes, actually, I’d love to teach the class my self I’ve already made a lesson plan, thank you”
  • No, I won’t come and see Jurassic World with you. Because it’s completely unrealistic! Do you have any idea what dinosaurs are actually supposed to have sounded and looked like? Even adult velociraptors weren’t meant to be that b - OK you know what, I will come, but I’ll be pointing out every single problem to you. No, it’s too late, you already invited me. I’m buying our tickets right now, don’t move”
  • “You really think you can beat me at Mario Kart? I have spent YEARS studying this game and honing my skills, spending hours upon hours training until my hands cramp and even my tv is judging the amount of time I’ve spent playing and you think YOU can beat me? Let’s fucking go
  • “I think these guys think I want to murder them because I followed them home but it’s only because I overheard them talking about what would happen if Pokemon is real and I wanted to see how good their logic was”
  • “Shut up? Shut up? I haven’t shut up for 17 years and I’m not about to start now”
  • (crying) "I just want Shakespeare’s ghost to be proud of me”

Gryffindor - 

  • “I’d love to have a sleepover but it can only be when there’s a thunderstorm so we can dance in the rain, let me check the weather forecast”
  • “Did that bee just try and sting you? COME BACK HERE BEE YOU COWARD I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP - wait shit no run”
  • "What did you say? Don’t touch it? Alright.” (touches it as soon as the person turns away) “Sucker”
  • “Whaaat? Someone wrote on the desk? No it wasn’t me I would never do th - My name was there? Well, I’m not the only one in the world with my na - My surname was there too? What are the chances?!”
  • “Help me I started saying lmao ironically and I can’t stop”
  • “Before you say anything it wasn’t me - unless it was something awesome then I definitely planned the whole thing”
  • Excuse me? They said what to you? … I have to go for a second, I just remembered something completely unrelated. No, no, I’m not taking this fork with me for any particular reason”
  • “Um, did you just tell me it’s impossible to sing along to a guitar solo? Stand back. Your mind is about to get blown”
  • “I am so not drunk! I’m completely drunk! … Wait shit I meant sober”
  • “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU AAAH LET ME HUG YOU! I’M NOT LETTING GO FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS, GET COMFORTABLE BITCH”
  • “I bet I can stay up for longer than you - what no I’m not tired shut up - nO THAT WASN’T A YAWN I WAS JUST SHOWING YOU WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I WAS TIRED - SEE I DID IT AGAIN TOTALLY ON PURPO - ok fuck you I’m going to sleep”

Slytherin - 

  • “Oh my God, just tell me what you did already so I can start complaining”
  • “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say STOP saying fuck, or KEEP ON saying fuck?”
  • “Over your dead body? I was hoping you’d say that”
  • “If you even LOOK at them one more time I will take a stick as big as your ego and stick it right up your-”
  • “Don’t come near me or - OK fine, we can snuggle for exactly 15 minutes. I’m setting a timer now”
  • “Hey, I saw you posted a picture of us on instagram yesterday where my eyeliner isn’t completely straight? You’re gonna have to delete that, if anyone thinks my eyeliner isn’t drop dead perfect every day and that I’m not a literal make up goddess I’ll lose my reputation as the Regina George of the school”
  • “But keep the one where I’m wearing no make up so that all those bitches know I still kill it without trying”
  • “Oh come on, you know I’d never do anything to embarrass you! Speaking of which, that video I posted on youtube the other day of you falling down the flight of escalators in the shopping centre has reached over 1000 views”
  • “My dad told me tattoos were trashy so I got a giant tattoo saying ‘trashy’ on my back I’ll send you his reaction later”
  • “I’m not a sentimental person but if you touch my teddy bear I will turn you into a stuffed trophy to put next to him”
  • “What do you mean I look smug this is my normal face”
i can’t get over how Extra™ the production of Sense8 is

they honestly seem to do everything in the most unnecessary over-complicated and expensive way possible, can’t say the end result isn’t worth it (best show i’ve ever watched) but like:

- they film everything 99% of the time on location, season 2 took 8 months of traveling around the world to get done, the main cast didn’t go home for 4 months straight at some point, they also hire local actors and crews

- talking about traveling, that scene where capheus visits riley when she’s on a plane to iceland? yup, you guessed it, they casually filmed that while they are actually on the plane to iceland

- they also don’t separate, everyone goes together from place to place even if some actors only have a few lines in one location # the sense8 travelling circus

- honestly just the way ‘visiting’ works is so extra, they have to shoot the exact same scene up to 5 times all over the world and then edit it to together in a coherent way, imagine how hard it’s for an actor to repeat a scene in the exact same way they did it 3 months ago in a completely different environment and mood, kudos to them

- this entire post about how the english dialogue for the not english speaking characters is structured will blow your mind

- riley’s opening scene when she’s playing at a club? that is an actual club with normal people not actors, they didn’t know tuppence wasn’t an actual dj, they had her go and pretend to dj in between two actual djs

- that applies for everything else really, if something can be done for reals they do it for reals, you know the scene at the end of season 2 were they all get electrocuted (aka the most stressful thing to watch ever), well, they got themselves electrocuted for reals, no, i’m not shitting you, they had to hire experts to make sure they didn’t accidentally kill themselves or sth, i love this cast but i’m also really concerned

- the wrestling match lito, hernando and dani attend was a real match with a real crowd

- also both pride scene were filmed at actual pride, the brazil pride was improvised except for lito’s speech which lana wrote on their way there, because they found out very last minute that they could actually fit it in the schedule

- the way the cast talk about the show sounds like they’re talking about their newborn baby sometimes like: ‘wolfgang is the biggest gift i’ve ever received in my career’, doona owns more sense8 merch than any fan in the world, freema and jamie crying at the table read when they got to amanita and nomi’s engagement scene as if they were actually getting married, brian’s letter after the cancelation and all their tweets about it, honestly this entire video of them basically talking about how much they love each other is the most extra and adorable thing ever

- the ‘sharing’ scenes are mostly done through stunts and not post-production, the actors actually jump in and out of frame changing places, instead of you know, just editing the scene together afterwards

- they got fined filming the ‘sex-nic’ part of the orgy for public nudity, just sense8 things

- bollywood dance scene? all shot in one take, for no reason other than make it more complicated lol

- the pretty underwater scenes from the christmas special? they went to malta EXCLUSIVELY to shoot those, what?, 3 minutes?, i’d say that was the most expensive montage ever but the fine for public nudity was $10k so idk

- talking about orgies, kind of unrelated but i’m mentioning it anyway bc i can’t believe them, apparently the cast casually goes through life organizing netflix talent orgies? life imitates art?

- they also were in scotland for 9 days for some reason, even though only like 10 minutes of the actual show happen in scotland (i’m guessing this is what happens when u double their budget for s2 lmao) 

- max riemelt dubs wolfie in german, also the dude that dubbed V from V for Vendetta dubs The Guy in french, if u gotta be extra don’t forget the details i guess

i’m probs missing a million things so feel free to add more lol

tl,dr: Sense8 is Extra™ and I Love It™

EDIT: apparently the page with the interview where jamie talked about the electrocution scene was changed? if you want proof that i didn’t pull it out of my ass check this thread

EDIT 2: some more that i forgot:

- they celebrate their characters birthday, bc that’s normal and stuff

- lana has a tattoo that says ‘homosensorium’

- they celebrated the s2 wrap up w (brian’s words) ‘the most over the top fireworks display I’ve ever seen’ while ‘what’s up’ played in the background

- in the ‘let’s make everything real for The Art’ department: the scene in berlin on new year’s eve? yup, that was also shoot during //actual new years eve//

2

Harry Styles doesn’t just want to be a rock star – he wants to be the rock star. And on his superb solo debut, the One Direction heartthrob claims his turf as a true rock & roll prince, a sunshine superman, a cosmic dancer in touch with his introspective acoustic side as well as his glam flash. He avoids the celebrity-guest debutante ball he could have thrown himself – instead, he goes for a intimately emotional Seventies soft-rock vibe. No club-hopping or bottles popping – it’s the after-hours balladry of a 23-year-old star wondering why he spends so much time in lonely hotel rooms staring at his phone. Harry digs so deep into classic California mellow gold, you might suspect his enigmatic new tattoos that say “Jackson” and “Arlo” refer to Browne and Guthrie.

“You can’t bribe the door on your way to the sky,” he warns early on in “Sign of the Times,” but the sky is where he’s aiming, and his sheer brazen confidence is dazzling – he never sounds like he’s trying too hard or scrounging for cred, which is where boy-band alumni usually screw up their solo records. The whole album has the personal yet witty spirit of the cover photo, where a topless Harry has a moment of doubt and pain in a bathtub full of pink unicorn tears. (His original title was Pink, because it’s “the only true rock & roll color.”) He spends a lot of the album wet, actually – whether it’s tears, other bodily fluids, or just “candy dripping on me till my feet are wet.”

Harry’s soft-rock fetish won’t surprise fans of One Direction gems like “Olivia” or “Stockholm Syndrome,” but this is the first time we’ve heard Sweet Baby Styles run with it for a whole album. The songs he tipped in advance didn’t play coy about his old-school inspirations – the Badfinger hook of “Ever Since New York,” the “Blackbird” guitar of “Sweet Creature,” the way “Sign of the Times” tweaks Queen and Bowie in candelabra mode – yet they all sound like him, playful and tender in equal measure. In most of these songs, he mourns a dead-end relationship, the kind where “comfortable silence is so overrated,” and you can hear that he’s been binging on singer-songwriter confessionals from Harry Nilsson’s Nilsson Schmillson to Taylor Swift’s Red. “Meet Me In The Hallway” sets the tone – a touch of John Lennon echo in his voice, a touch of Jimmy Page in the acoustic guitar – as he pleads like a love junkie craving a fix. “Carolina” rides a tropical low-rider summer groove, while the lovelorn “Two Ghosts” could pass for vintage Bread. “Woman” could be a lost slow-jam duet between Prince and Joe Walsh, as Harry asks, “Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and see what we can find?”

He dabbles in hard rock raunch with “Kiwi” (“She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes/Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect”) and “Only Angel.” Yet he sounds brassiest, most confident, most himself when he gets vulnerable. He ends with “From the Dining Table,” an acoustic lament where he wakes up alone in yet another hotel room. (“Played with myself, where were you?/I fell back asleep and was drunk by noon/I’ve never felt less cool.”) Through it all, he manages to steer clear of all the traps that ordinarily sabotage a boy-band star’s solo move. But as the whole album proves, there’s not a thing ordinary about this guy. - Rolling Stone

7

Cleaning out the askbox, starting with the hq stuff~ some of these have been in my askbox for more than a month I’m so sorry

Overwatch!! Finally Hanzo Shimada is in jail for making us draw his tattoos

I have 20 things I could draw, and I draw shitlord prison Hanzo again. I see how it is!!

This is a present for my good friend @avoresmith, who is writing fanfic for the first time in ages!! This is what Overwatch does to people

4

Since no one was posting this. The first picture is from @jaalssucksdick and the other ones are Robert’s tattoo and his postcard. Whatever fuckery Joseph is hiding, Robert KNOWS. He says his tattoo is a reminder and later tells you that Joseph is not who he seems or something along those lines before the player goes to Joseph’s yacht so…

Hello - Newt x Reader

Prompt: A little drabble! Soulmate AU where everyone is born with the first words their soulmate says to them tattooed on their wrist. Reader is completely fed up with her quest to find her soulmate, as the only hint she has is the incredibly vague black letters that have always been stamped across her wrist.

Warnings: Swearing, bullying, use of alcohol, harassment and unwanted advances

God, you hated your soulmate tattoo.

What sort of a soulmate tattoo was “hello”? You had detested it your entire life. What vague-ass higher power had decided when they gave you your tattoo to stop at “hello”? How would you know for sure when you met your soulmate? Couldn’t they have elaborated a little bit? Just a few more words? A proper sentence that you could actually recognize your soulmate with? But no, you were stuck with the most common greeting in the English language tattooed permanently into your skin. Hello. What absolute bullshit.

Every time someone greeted you with that simple phrase, your eyes would narrow, you would square your shoulders, and you would spit back the most distinct and unmistakable response you possibly could. You were not going to be the soulmate couple that had “hello” on both of your wrists. Your lucky, lucky soulmate probably had something ridiculous, like “Whatever you say,” or “Did you know that a hippopotamus’s sweat is red?” because you absolutely had to stand out, and you made sure that your replies to “hello” always did. There was no other way to be sure that anyone and everyone who said “hello” to you wasn’t your soulmate.

What a useless tattoo.

All throughout your school years at Ilvermorny, you were completely embarrassed to show people your tattoo. Unfortunately, when your classmates found out, they had great fun sending people you had never spoken to before up to say “hello” to you.

Your reaction was always hilarious, so they kept doing it. Your responses ranged from “Go fuck yourself,” to “Nice try guys, but I’ve already spoken with her before,” to straight up punching one student right in the jaw when he got a little too friendly with his hands as he delivered his “hello”.

You started to feel a little bad for your actual soulmate as your replies increased in hostility. They probably had a particularly colorful quote of yours. “Go to hell,” perhaps, or maybe “Who the fuck put you up to it this time?”

When you graduated, your defensive nature had thankfully melted a little. You had switched to solely offering people fun animal facts whenever they said “hello” to you, and it was far less stressful. “Seahorse mates hold each other’s tails so they don’t lose each other,” was a favorite of yours, as was “Cows have best friends.”

One evening, you were at a bar with your roommates Queenie and Tina, and you were in no mood for advances from anyone. You had decided to date, as many people with soulmates do, just to pass time while you waited for your soulmate to arrive, but your recent significant other had found their soulmate and left you in the dust. It was incredibly depressing, and you just really wanted a drink.

A man waltzed up to you, sliding into the chair beside you and offering a hand to shake. “Hello,” he said with a grin. You looked over at him, as annoyed as you were drunk, and reached out to flip his arm over and look at his wrist.

“Alright, let’s get this over with I’m not in the mood to think of a fun fact,” you grumbled, pulling back his sleeve to look at his wrist.

It wasn’t really with disappointment that you read the words “I’m so sorry I ran over your dog,” in black ink on his wrist, and you patted his hand drunkenly.

“Good luck with that one, buddy,” you slurred, getting to your feet and heading toward the door. He blinked after you, bewildered, and then returned to his drink.

Such was a usual encounter for you, and by the time Tina dragged a certain magizooligist into your home, you were sick and tired of your goddamn animal facts.

“Queenie, (y/n)!” Tina called out to you. You peeked your head around the corner where you were helping Queenie mend dresses, and you saw with a pang of confusion that Tina had brought two men along with her.

Queenie voiced your amazement, grinning and chirping “Teenie! You brought men home!”

You approached your friend, not bothering with the fact that you were clad in only a slip, and you blinked at her in disbelief. “Who are they?”

“This is a no-maj, and this is Mr. Scamander. He’s responsible for his injuries,” Tina said wearily, pointing her finger at the sweaty, overwhelmed man who offered you a disoriented half-smile before fixing his gaze back on Queenie, who giggled.

Mr. Scamander gave you a little wave. “Hello,” he said.

You let out a slow puff of air, your frustration resurfacing as your hand shot forward to grab his wrist. “Merlin’s Beard, just show me the goddamn tattoo,” you grumbled without thinking. You were in total shock when you slipped his sleeve back and found yourself face-to-face with your own words.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, and he looked just as startled. A hush fell over the room, and you felt your face grow hot. “Sorry about that,” you mumbled apologetically, unable to drop your gaze from his.

“That’s quite alright,” he said softly, his lips twitching upward in a small smile. “It’s quite the conversation piece,” he teased, and you found yourself chuckling.

“You had better be worth all the trouble my ridiculous tattoo has caused,” you teased back. The other three people in the room were watching the two of you, completely taken aback.

“I think for the most part people usually find me to be more trouble than I am worth,” he confessed, his eyes sparkling.

You dropped his hand at last, your face red and your heart pounding with embarrassment. “We’ll see about that,”

This is such a silly idea but I had to write it down so here u go

def not my best work but I hope u enjoy!! I literally didn’t even proofread this so it’s probs full of errors and bad transitions but pls enjoy this dumb little drabble!! (two fics in two days, who am I and what have I done with puk)