saying now might not be a good idea

The Promised No-study SAT Tips

I saw that a lot of you wanted these~ Disclaimer: You still have to know English and the basics of math for these. This goes especially if you’re not a native speaker - your English needs to be at a pretty good level.


  1. Read. A lot. Whenever you see a text that’s at least a paragraph or two long, take time to practice skimming. If you’re bored and have a little time, take something, for example a food wrapper, and try to find occurrences of a word (for example “Acid” for food) as quickly as possible. Hard mode: look for synonyms.
  2. Practice filling out the answer sheet. This is a massive time-sink for a lot of people, so you should practice to eliminate it. Print out an example answer sheet and try filling out the circles quickly and accurately without distracting yourself a lot. Hard mode:Try doing it while not focusing only on the circles - look away or start thinking about the next question.
  3. Check. A lot. The main goal of this strategy is to leave yourself enough time when you’ve filled out an answer for each question when you’re calm, know the questions and can focus on checking. Try and go through the questions, thinking, “This question tests this and that.” If you have the time, look at each answer and identify the error in it (harder for the math questions, but loads of fun if you can do it).
  4. Think in patterns: Whenever you’re stuck on an example question, don’t just check the answer. Try and understand how the person found it, if this question is similar to others you have seen. The SAT only uses a few different types of questions, there will rarely be something to surprise you if you know the common patterns.
  5. Rest: The SAT is a very demanding exam. Give your brain time to relax - my advice would be not to do anything mentally strenuous the day before the test. Also, something I found out from competitions - bring chocolate. The sugar in it helps your brain work better and shrug off tiredness and eating it will draw blood away from your brain, effectively hibernating it for the break to conserve energy. Also, it’s just a really tasty snack!


  1. Use the right format for the essay. There are a lot of easy points for using the four/five paragraph system. Introduction, Reason 1, Reason 2, Conclusion. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence and follow up with a story from your life or a book/movie to illustrate it. This way, even without using fancy vocab or grammar, you can get the points for structure and critical thought. Now just try not to make any obvious spelling mistakes and call it a day!
  2. Try to quickly find an argument for the essay. They don’t actually rate how intelligent your argument is. So, take a minute or two, breathe deeply, and no matter how stupid your idea is, write it out. (You might still want to take caution with sensitive topics, especially if you’re an international. A dumb mistake I made in my first sitting was bashing on American charity - that definitely did not endear me to the proctors.)
  3. Paragraphs: You have to have experience reading - look at how the topic never changes abruptly. Insert sentences that link what’s written before and after the gap. Final sentences of paragraphs shouldn’t raise more questions.
  4. Sentence questions: Skim through the questions. Try to answer most of them, the first thing that comes to mind, and fill out the answer sheet immediately. Chances are, if it sounds good to you, it’s the correct choice. Do this quickly, then try and do the paragraphs. After you’ve done this, go back to the questions and start checking.
  5. They usually test for a few broad topics. Identify if each sentence fits one of the patterns and answer accordingly. For the others, try and think what error they might want you to make. If you know you have the time, look at each answer in turn and identify the mistake in it. The most common ways for you to change a sentence would be:
  • Fragments: Try and see if each clause has a subject and a verb. Example: “In the dim light, making his way through the cave.” -> “In the dim light, he makes his way through the cave.”
  • Subject-verb agreement: Make sure that the subject is the one actually doing the action and singular/plural match. Example: “Gathering stones, the river was blocked by the men.” Did the river gather stones? No.
  • Consistency: Make sure that something introduced one way is always referred to like that (don’t switch out ‘one’ for ‘you’ or ‘they’). Make sure there are no extra linkers (”Since I was there, but he went too.”). Check if any verbs change tense when they shouldn’t. Don’t compare apples to oranges (”His homework was as good as John.” -> “As good as John’s”).
  • Adverb or adjective? If it describes a verb, it has a ‘ly’. Example: “She winked playful.” -> “She winked playfully.”
  • Singular or plural? Make sure not to refer to a plural object in singular. “Pandas, numbering in the hundreds now, is an endangered species.”
  • Prepositions, linkers, all the small words Sadly, you’ll have to know how they’re used.


  1. Word fill: Note the answers that obviously don’t make sense. Mark the one of the others that sounds best to you (in the answer sheet, too!). If you don’t know one or more of the words, aim for simplicity. After you’ve quickly answered all of the reading questions, come back to these. Look at the relationships between the gap and the sentence - are you looking for a positive or negative word? Antonyms or synonyms to something before? Try and guess what unknown words mean. This way, you will probably be able to eliminate all the wrong answers.
  2. Reading comprehension: You are not tested for understanding the text. Keep this in mind. What you are actually trying to do here is quickly find synonyms. If the question asks for “Was Anna’s family a) warm b) cold c) the spawn of Cthulhu?”, chances are that the text contains “Anna’s relatives acted chilly.” or something like that. Read the first question. Skim the text until it comes to that topic, then look for synonyms of the answers. Don’t make deductions! If you come across a ‘general message’ or ‘tone of the author’ question, skip it and answer it at the end of the text. The other questions will be in the same order as the answers are mentioned in the text. Checking: If you have time, look at each answer and try to see what in the text could mislead somebody to make that mistake.


  1. Calculator use: My advice would be to not bring a complex graphing calculator. They just slow you down. Try and do most operations by hand, then use the calculator only for, well, calculations.
  2. Basic topics to know: You are expected to be familiar with how to rearrange equations (ab=1 is the same as a=1/b) and solve linear and quadratics; cosine and Pythagorean theorems; number representations of lines and their intersections; median, mean and mode.
  3. Solve like a crab! One of the best things I learnt in “Fun Math” classes was that problems are solved more easily if you work from the answer back. Try and see what you would need (in terms of information) to find the answer. Then look back to the text of the problem - is what you need there? In most SAT problems, it is, or you can easily find it.
  4. Visualise: Especially for distance or geometry problems, make a small chart of what’s happening. Make lines for the distances the cars traveled or draw that pesky cylinder. Try and see in your mind how different elements move and which stay the same.

I guess this is all that I can say for now. Of course, this is my strategy so it might not work for everyone or it might not work without practice, so don’t think it’s a miracle solve-all. I’m always open for questions about ideas or specific problems, just write an ask~ And good luck to all future test-takers!

Astral Travel 🚀🌌

My personal method of astral travel.

  1. Get some sleep prior so that you don’t accidentally doze off
  2. Wear comfortable clothing
  3. Turn off or dim the lights in your room as much as possible, although this can still be performed in a fully lit room if you want
  4. Lay down in a comfortable position - I usually lay flat on my back in bed with something covering my eyes as to not let any light slip through
  5. Choose a soundtrack or playlist consisting of ambient music and binaural beats (this is my favorite - to be listened to with headphones for the best results)
    1. The music and binaural beats help to get you to a relaxed, meditative, trance-like state without consciously trying too hard
  6. Once you reach that state, you should feel somewhat of a “body high” or a tingly sensation all over your body
  7. At this point, try to visualize the room you’re in and your surroundings as if you were actually standing there looking around and not laying down in a bed
  8. When you can do this successfully, it’s time to actually travel elsewhere: visualize yourself walking around your room, and eventually ending up somewhere totally different - I always “fly” or “float” to my destination but how you get there is up to you - I personally like to go to space, but you can literally go anywhere you want
  9. I would recommend creating an “astral sanctuary” or “astral temple” when you reach your destination - this is basically your home base for when you decide to astral travel back to that place
    1. This requires more visualization to actually manifest something that was not there before - your sanctuary can be as low-key or extravagant as you want
    2. Practice placing items and altering the surroundings in your astral sanctuary 
  10. Once your sanctuary is created and you have a safe place to return to, it’s time to explore your surroundings - this can take as long as you want, there’s no time limit just so long as you’re responsible with it and aren’t missing out on any real-life priorities or appointments 
  11. To re-enter your body, you must try to “snap out of it” and visualize traveling back to your physical body - I always end up repeatedly saying something like “it’s time to go home now” until I feel like I am becoming more conscious and aware of myself 
  12. You might be pretty exhausted after astral traveling, so it’s a good idea to have some water and a snack on hand for when you return 

Good luck! ✨🌟

Prompt: “Kiss me.” 
For the anon, hope you enjoy (: request a fic?

As soon as they get out of the car, Dean wonders why the hell they thought this would be a good idea. Maybe he’d known from the beginning that this was crazy but he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. It was the price he had to pay for bragging about having a date to Benny and pretty much everyone in his birthplace. He’d ended up begging Castiel to pretend to be his boyfriend- some people already mistook them for a couple anyways, so he thought it wouldn’t be too hard. Now he feels like he might have been wrong.

“Maybe we should just leave.” He says as he stands beside Castiel. “I’m sorry for dragging you into all this.” Dean stares at the festival lights spread all through the large trees in the backyard and feels his hands shaking a little. “Or I’ll just tell everyone that I-”

“Dean,” Castiel says and looks at him thoughtfully. “I told you it’s alright. It will be fine, trust me.” He holds out his hand to him, nodding at the field with tables and many people. “Let’s go.”

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anonymous asked:

Do you have any advice on what to do if you lose your joy and interest in writing when a writer was how you identified yourself?

(wry look) Life just pulled one of those cute things where I had three-quarters of a response written and I hit the wrong keys somehow and it all went away. Which tells me that this is important. So let me recreate it.

The best advice I’ve got for you right now is to lean back and wait, because normally the joy and interest will come back. Being a writer, and having enjoyed and been interested in it previously, isn’t something that goes away all that easily. The set of behaviors that make up being a writer are complex and difficult to ingrain… which is going to make the ability to do this kind of work difficult to lose even if you were trying to do so. So, first of all: take heart.

Now it has to be said that, human nature and psychology (and nature itself) being the cranky intransigent things they sometimes are, it may (paradoxically) be necessary for your recovery of your joy and interest in the work to completely surrender to the concept that you might actually have permanently lost it. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but the effectiveness of simply giving up is sometimes surprising.  There’s a saying attributed to Carl Jung, the father of the concept of Archetype as we now understand it, that goes like this: “What you resist, persists; and not only does it persist, but it gets bigger in size.” (There’s a good long article about this concept over here in Psychology Today: worth looking at. …Though I also have to say that the illo at the top is hilarious and perfect, because Kylo Ren should frankly be the poster child for the whole idea.)

My own experience suggests that there are times when as soon as you give up, the thing that’s been eluding you either collapses to the ground where you can just stroll over and reclaim it, or turns around and runs headlong into your arms. Frustrating, but what can you do? When the whole point is to get whatever it is back, the idea that it played you a little in the process will after the fact seem less of an issue.

Possible causes for what’s going on with you are worth touching on briefly. I’ve had occasion to post a number of times about something that C. S. Lewis codified in The Screwtape Letters as “the Law of Undulations”. Now as much as I love him, there would be a lot of things that Clive and I would disagree about, but this wouldn’t be one of them. I think he was really onto something. So take a look at that basic post, and then we can move on a bit.

With the Law in mind, while you’re working on what “giving up” might look like – assuming you need to go that far – here are some possibly similar situations and strategies to consider.

Some of the above situations come with suggestions of possible things you can do about them. But do not underestimate the power of simply waiting a while and not doing anything. It’s worth emphasizing that in our culture as it stands at the moment, there’s endless emphasis on immediately DOING THINGS to fix what ails you. Sometimes not doing anything is more effective – though to some people that’s going to sound heretical, and you’ll run the risk of being accused of laziness (not least by the back of your own mind, once it realizes you’re onto something that’s going to give you back control of the situation. The self-sabotaging wiliness of a subconscious about to lose its advantage can be a terrifying thing… but even that loses some of its terrors when your conscious mind suspects or knows what it’s up to.) Anyway, ignore that noise.

Give doing nothing a good long chance. Stoke up on your reading. Get caught up on TV and movies if that’s your thing. Do other work. Create something that isn’t writing. (Cooking’s good for this. I love being responsible for mighty successes or godawful failures in the kitchen and knowing that the critics at Kirkus and PW are not going to give the slightest damns about it.)

But tl:dr; Don’t despair: just kick back and wait. And see how it goes.

…And eventually let me know how you get on. :)  HTH.

FF XV React: Words of encouragment for you

Noctis: Hey, c'mon look at me and listen. You want to know a secret about the future and how not to be afraid of tommorrow? Here it is: The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. So you keep dreaming, higher and more unimaginable than anyone else!

Gladiolus: You’ve got the makings of greatness in you! But you have to take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it! No matter the squall! There’s gonna come a day when you’ll really get to test yourself and show the world what you’re made of! And I hope I’m there, seeing the light come off of you that day.

Prompto: Now you listen to me and listen good! A winner is just a loser who never learned to give up! So you be the best loser you can be and keep going! I’ll be cheering for you in the stands even if I cheer alone!

Ignis: Everything may seem hopeless right now, but there is a law in the world that is an undeniable truth. Good and better days will, and have to come. This storm will pass as all things do, and then you will be laughing at such a thing that you once feared.

Cor: In all my years I’ve learned many truths. Some that sound too good to be true, but they are. Let me tell you that what I am about to say is true; A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

Regis: There now, dry your eyes and lift your head up. Keep it up and may it never lower. Why you ask? Your crown might fall if you do so. A crown alight with all those brilliant ideas the world has yet to bare witness in this cold dark reality.

Cid: Take some advice from this old man, just do what you got to do to be happy. Life’s too short to be doing stuff to make other people happy. It’s real simple thinking, but too many folks don’t do it. Do whatever; sleep in a little, splurge a little, eat that treat youve been craving it dont matter what you do as long as it’s for yourself. Selfish? Maybe, but is it so selfish to take better take care of yourself?

Clarus: Walk tall and do not falter. You might think that it’s for a lost cause for you don’t see an audience, you don’t recquire one. Do it for yourself first and foremost, and if others are in awe of you wish that they can do the same for themselves.

Iris: Hey listen me! I know you might feel like a mess and that’s okay! Sleep it off or shake it off, but don’t let it stay! If it’s too much then let me carry some of that weight so you can stand tall again!

Cidney: Dont listen to the people who talk behind your back. You’re just two steps ahead of them is all! Instead of walking down other peoples paths, you go on ahead and make your own so other people can follow!

Gentiana: I know the days appear without end, a cold, dark barren wasteland. But it is in a wasteland where storms can be the strongest, and the deadliest. You are that storm. Nothing is in your way.

Lunafreya: Do not hide away your emotions. If you are sad, then cry. If you are mad, then scream. It is a reminder that you are human; and as any human you evolve. Stronger than ever before.

Ravus: Give no satisfaction to those who are attempting to destroy you. What words they speak they merely wish unto themselves, but are cowards to do so. You are no coward.

Areana: You beating yourself up? You a masochist or something? Heh, we’re our own worst enemies, but like they say; keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Even if that enemy is yourself, with each time you decide to keep going you’re beating yourself for entitely different reasons. That’s the way it should be.

Ardyn: Now, now my dear, no need to fret. You may think you’ve lost and failed at everything. But to have never tried, is never to have lived and besides - when you have nothing to lose, you have all to gain.

Nyx: Y'know, most people would have given up a long time ago. They wouldn’t have even bothered at all to keep going…So why do you? Heh, dont know? ‘Cus you got “something” to still keep you going even if you dont know what that is yet. Keep going to find out what it is, and if you can’t find the reason - then keep going for me, cus I’ll always give you one.

Libertus: Listen to me, you might say I’m just telling you this cus I 'oughta but I say it cus I really do care 'bout ya.The world would be more dark without you here. I mean it. You’re one little light out of a million, a billion out there and you might not think that you stand out or shine - but you do. Sometimes one little candle is all you need to not be afraid of the dark.

Crowe: You know when all is said and done at the end of the day, no matter how horrible it was - you’re still you but only better. It may not be by much, you might not even notice it. You survived and you learned, so that’s an accomplisment unto itself.

Drautos: I’ll tell it to you straight and simple; just do it. Whatever it is or whatever it may be, go on and try. Learn from it if you fail, keep trying if you want to. Kick ass and take names.

Luche: Head back, back straight and deep breaths. Take your own time when it comes to things, at your own pace. No one is rushing you, only yourself.

Dino: Listen 'ere kid, greatness ain’t born, it’s made. Like a diamond. Little peice of coal takes forever to be something that everyone wants. So take your sweet 'ol time and be the diamond everyone wants, and then dont! 'Cus a precious stone like you belongs to nobody!

anonymous asked:

Hi! I wanted to know your opinion on this: do you think Bum only likes Sangwoo when he's bad? I mean, in all the past chapters where, clearly, Sangwoo is been bad, Bum would always want him and love him... In this chapter though, he rejects him.. Why? You think it's because he relised how bad Sangwoo actually is? Or you think Bum thinks that Sangwoo is only faking his interest in him? I'm very curious about this! ^^

I think this is a very good observation. Yes, it would appear like Bum is more willing to show affection when Sangwoo is being bad (aka. being himself). But this is not because Bum prefers Sangwoo when he is on his bad side, it is for reasons more complex.

To understand why Bum displays affection in more emotionally heated situations, we must first understand Bum’s idea of love and how it has changed overtime. 

It is all the way back in the first chapter that we are given our first hint that the idea of love is terribly skewed in Bum’s mind. Since he doesn’t quite understand it (presumably because of mental illness and past abuse) it does him more harm than good in most situations. A lot of times he uses it to justify things that aren’t justifiable (including his initial obsession with Sangwoo). 

Hence his famous phrase “Because of love.”

This was all before Bum truly met Sangwoo, so he wasn’t off to a good start to begin with. Then when Sangwoo and Bum finally met, this idea of love instantly turned into something much different. Love was no longer a choice, it was a means of survival. Bum’s first display of affection was the very thing that saved his life that day Sangwoo was about to bash his head in with a baseball bat. Ever since then, Bum has been using affection to save himself when Sangwoo lashes out. 

So naturally, the only time Bum really has the courage to act intimate with Sangwoo is in times were it is truly needed. This is why it looks like he only wants to love him when he’s on his bad side. Plus, there is really no reason to be affectionate when Sangwoo isn’t lashing out. Bum isn’t an idiot, he knows that Sangwoo would not return his advances unless it was on his own terms. Because like Bum, Sangwoo also uses intimacy as a means to gain control. And let’s not forget that they aren’t at all equals, so Bum making the first move in anything is primarily sparked by desperation.

So with all of this taken into consideration, in Chapter 27 there is no longer a reason for Bum to be intimate. Intimacy is for survival, and what did Bum just try to do? Kill himself. Although not successful, the intention was still there. He might not necessarily want to die at that moment, but at the very least he is overcome with the pain of living.

Just look at how distant he was in this chapter.

He is both physically and mentally exhausted. There is no longer a compulsion to pretend or falsely dull the pain. He has just been through emotional hell and frankly just doesn’t feel like being physically close to the person that is primarily responsible for it. His rejection of sex is for the same reason why any sane person wouldn’t be willing to fool around after such a traumatic event.

In my opinion, Bum doesn’t love Sangwoo the same way he did before, if he even loves him at all at this point. Notice that we haven’t seen any return of true affection from Bum since Chapter 5. And as of Chapter 15, Bum is no longer able to truthfully tell Sangwoo he loves him. Yes, he is still emotionally tied to him and a slave to his every whim, but any sincere affection for him has been slowly scraped away by Sangwoo proving that he cannot be just a normal lover, but rather a captor and a manipulator.

Do I think that this will prevent Bum from loving Sangwoo again…?

Of course not. Bum is a highly unpredictable character and has the tendency to overlook some pretty significant assaults from Sangwoo. So inevitably the room for prediction ends there. But it seems that Sangwoo will have to do a lot to make him feel even remotely comfortable again, that is if he chooses to put forth the effort after Bum’s rejection.


Sangwoo and Bum have been together for almost a year now, and Bum has been out of the basement for a good portion of that time. Being in such close confines with one another, they are bound to have a better idea of each other’s mindset by now. Back in chapter 24 at the arcade, Bum was able to quickly spot Sangwoo’s anger even though no detectable trace of emotion was visible in his expression.

This is all to say, Bum understands Sangwoo more than he puts forth. So there is an overwhelming chance that he knew all of Sangwoo’s affection and concern was for an alternate gain, obviously on the behalf of Sangwoo alone. Although he might not understand what this reason is yet exactly, he is smart enough to know that the emotions that Sangwoo exhibited are foreign to him in any genuine form.

(All panels belong to Koogi and Lezhin)

Mission Bad Boy - 9

Plot: What if you could win 100,000 Won by giving someone a makeover? But here’s the catch – you have 6 months to turn a nerdy, anti-social male into the school’s biggest heartthrob.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Angst, Highschool au!

Warnings: softcore smut(?), once again - self loathing, scalding tea

Notes: lol. I must really hate every character here. GIF CREDIT GOES TO THE ACTUAL OWNER. 4.2 k Words

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You had no idea what had happened after you had fled from the party, but when you had gone back to school the next week, you had witnessed something you never believed would happen. 

While you stood near the entrance of the classroom, you had gotten a spectacular view of a familiar girl sitting in your place, a shy smile playing on her mouth whilst she received a kiss on her cheek from your desk mate.

“You’re so cute,” You heard his quiet hum, making your fists clench as you bit your lip.

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Feeling It

Originally posted by hpfanaticinfinity

“Your friends have to hate me. There’s no other explanation for this.”

You glance at Jay through the mirror and laugh at the sight of him sitting at the head of your shared bed, arms folded across his chest and pout on his lips. He’s been sitting there, sighing or huffing in a not-so subtle attempt to catch your attention for the past twenty minutes and he doesn’t want to beat around the bush anymore. “I promise,” you laugh as you turn to face him, “they’re not doing this on purpose. You’ve been out of the country. You should still be out of the country. It’s not their fault that the tour ended early and you’re home unannounced.”

“You should cancel,” Jay hums as he crawls across the bed to sit at the side. His arms wind around your waist and drag you back onto his lap before you can protest. “We haven’t gotten reacquainted yet.”

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How to become a good student (again) 1: Slow down to speed up

Hello, fellow ex-good-student! 

If you’re anything like me, you feel this immense pressure on your shoulders, yes? You want to be good, you want to succed, you want to know more, but somehow -… somehow it just ain’t enough to actually get you to do something? Until the very last minute, that is, when all the pressure comes rushing down like a waterfall?

Ah, or perhaps that stress has driven you over the edge and you have achieved the next stage: being so stressed that you’re oddly calm again and nothing really fazes you anymore? Perhaps you have cynically accepted that this is just who you are now? Perhaps you say:

But somehow you fail to say it proudly. Somehow you’re just really unhappy with the state of things, but feel like you don’t give enough of a fuck to really change anything? 
Yes? Well, then this is the post for you!

Let me start with three observations that are less obvious than you might think: 

1) “Naturally” good students (NGS, so people, like you and me, who didn’t have to learn how to be good at school, but kinda slipped into it) are good thinkers. 

2) Good thinkers like to think.

3) Good thinkers are trouble-shooters. 

Got these three ideas lined up? Alright, let’s move on.

These two attitudes above, where do you think they come from? I’d argue it’s disillusionment. 

See, when I got to uni, I thought it would be like school - just WAY better. That would mean professors who fit their programmes around me, personally, who help my mind become sharper by letting it battle against just the right problems and getting taught how to really get to the bottom of life, to face the really Big Ideas, the Final Problems, the Why is the universe the way it is?s.
Instead, it turns out, uni is like summer holidays - just WAY worse. No one fits anything to you, personally, no one picks out just the right problems, no one connects subjects in just the way you’d like it. You’re thrown into a maelstrom of ideas and it’s up to you to do whatever the hell you’d like with them. You’re on your own, but not in the hero vs. bad guy-way, but it in the loner in a crowd-way. 

You quickly realize, uni is just a slightly filtered version of life in all its random glory and sadness. And I think that any student, anywhere, can have this epiphany at any given moment. You don’t need uni to suddenly look life in the eye and be overwhelmed by how sublime, how overwhelmingly huge it is and to realize: There’s no end goal (we know of). Just loads of open ends. An overwhelming amount of open ends, really. 

Now, what do I mean when I say that NGS (”naturally” good students) are trouble-shooters? I mean that we’re good at working well within systems. 
We like to be fed input, to take it apart, to analyze it and to see how you could perfect it even further. That’s why so many of us are drawn to video games or TV series or fictional worlds with their own reward system. We like to figure out patterns. That’s also why we were so good at school - school is a fairly easy system. 
Once you’ve seen through which lessons will be important for a test, once you notice how teachers stress certain things more than others, once you notice you really only need to pay attention in class and you’ll spare yourself so much trouble, once you notice that doing your homework actually does help, once you notice these few pillars of school, you’re set, man. 

I’d like to compare this to thinking on two different levels: a life-level (where you actually do stuff) and a meta-level (where you think about doing the stuff). My preferred analogy for this is a cube.

Ideally, you first figure out the shape of the cube (meta-level) and, once you’re comfortably settled into the system, you work within it (life-level). I’d say that most people operate this way, but NGS are …a little obsessed with this. The basic idea is that the system must first be perfect (or perfectly understood) before it is implemented, so it runs smoothly.  
This is what I mean when I say we’re trouble-shooters. We detect the trouble ahead of time and pew, pew, pew. And, as I said, this works with video games. And books. And school. And subjects. But life? Life looks a little more like this:

No one’s (yet) succeeded to fit life into this box. 
“But”, a little voice inside you says, “But I can try!” (and another, more smug voice, says “And who’s to say I’m not the one to succeed anyway?”)
And, well, I’ve got good news for you! You’ve already tried! That’s why you’re here. In limbo. 

You and I both, we’ve tried to figure out the perfect recipe for life. We tried to figure out when to best get up, when to best go to sleep, what the perfect conditions for studying are, what best to study in the first place, what artsy pursuits to keep doing to flex creativity, but to also focus on practical things and how to figure out the whole family and friends-thing and schedule it somewhere in between and maybe write a book or two. You’ve tried to create the box. I’ve tried to create the box. We both failed.
Let me show you a highly artistic representation of what your brain has looked like lately: 

Okay, fine, I’ll invest a bit more time:

There, that’s your mind. Pulling in every single direction. Is it really a surprise that you’re not going anywhere? Y’know this meme?

Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Now, if you’re anything like me, you’ll have a whiny voice at the back of your head going “But picking fewer battles is defeat! I’m sure I’ll conquer it somehow!”
Well, then, let me mindslap you with the cold, hard truth: No. What you’re doing right now, that’s defeat. 


This is DEFEAT. You’re not going anywhere and you’re disrespecting yourself, your mind and the subjects you’re interacting with by spending a fraction of a thought on them. You’re just using them as stepping stones. They deserve better. You deserve better. That’s why you fail to say it proudly. You know that, at some point, you looked at the big, huge mess that is life, realized “I won’t figure this out” and said “Well, I’ll stop trying, I guess.”

I’ll talk more about this in my “Yearn for friendship”-post, but for now, the main take-away is:

You won’t be done with figuring out life any time soon.

So, don’t think “I want to be done with this.”

Think “I want to be doing this.”

Step out of the meta-level into the life-level. It’s okay not to perfectly understand life right now. You’ll figure it out.Trust me, you’ll figure it out. But only by doing things.

Because, see, NGS may be trouble-shooters, but the trouble-shooting isn’t the fun part. It’s the first step to entering a magical world with which you can interact, be it maths, or Middle Earth, or a birthday party. 
We like to think. 
And you’ve been depriving yourself of the fun of thinking by thinking you have to do it in a perfect way. 

“But what if it’s not perfect?”
That’s okay. You’ll get better. And something imperfect that’s striving to be good is always better than nothing at all. Some things you figure out by doing. Life is one of those things. Imagine you’re in a dark street and you want to illuminate it. You can either miserably sit in darkness and try to figure out a way to turn on all lights at once, or you can start with one and let the sight of snowflakes or petals welling up underneath it give you strength for the next. Allow yourself little successes. Allow yourself to have fun with imperfect things. Make the first step. Let it give you strength for the next.”

“But what if I lose time?”

“Be patient. Life will literally last all your life. This is as much time as you’re ever gonna get. Allow yourself to take this time and to take it slow. Again: think not about getting it done, but about the joy of doing it. Time spent doing the thing you love is never lost time. Put the pressure of your shoulders. Trust me, if you take it slow, your brain will speed up because it has breathing room.
Let me repeat this:
If you take it slow
your brain will speed up.

So, allow your brain to think like this:

(or at least like this:

Be patient. I cannot stress this enough. Be. Patient.
Time is not your enemy that you have to outrace. Time is your partner, whom you have to trust. Time helps you to grow. Time helps you to understand. Time literally helps you to BE. 
For me, the phrase that really struck a chord with me somehow was
I will grow as my hair did”, because it a) shows how long it can take for tiny changes to become visible, and how b) they do become visible in the end.)

“But I don’t want to completely lose my grip on the meta-level! I don’t just want to blindly run into one direction!”

“I get you. So did I. So here’s what I did: I made a pact with myself. 
On the 25th of every month (because my birthday is on the 25th, but pick whichever day you like best), I ascend to the meta-level and critically assess my own situation. 
I exit the cube and check if I like what the cube looks like right now. 
No? Okay, time to introduce some big changes. 
Yes? Okay, carry on as before. 
I actually wrote down basic rules for what life in the cube looks like (when to do laundry, etc.), so I wouldn’t have to worry about it during the month and let me tell you, it works great. During the month, I just let my mind slice and dice away (I’ll talk more about the mind as a weapon in the next post) and once a month, I check if I like the results. For me, at least, it’s the perfect arrangement. 

So, be patient. And watch Hyouka - it’s about this very struggle and the MC slowly realizes that, sometimes, it’s worth to spend energy, mind-power and time on certain things. Some things… just take time. And that’s okay.

Grow as your hair does.

(Here’s the masterpost for all the posts in this series: x)

(Part 2)

“Is Bruce in here?” Tim figured he might be— Bruce spent a lot of time in the children’s wing of Wayne Enterprises. There were a dozen or so kids in daycare most weekdays, and Bruce liked to hang out.

Tim liked to hang out too. They had nice snacks, and he’d known most of the kids since they were toddlers. And sometimes naps were mandatory.

“Conference call,” Damian told him. (For someone who claimed to hate naps, snackfood, kids, and humanity in general, Damian also spent a lot of time in the children’s wing.) “I don’t know where.” 

He went back to what he was doing, which was arranging a set of pewter soldiers into a complex model of a battlefield, presumably for the benefit of the preschooler sitting next to him. 

“What’s this?”

“The Battle of Issus, 333 BC.”

“Right, obviously.” Tim decided he was curious, so he settled down on the mats to watch.  Damian finished his model; he pulled a marker from the art table and used it as a pointer. 

“Okay. This is the Macedonian army, outnumbered but in the better tactical position, south of the Pinarus River. Their leader is Alexander the Great. And this—” He pointed to his enemy line. “—is the Achaemenid Empire. They’re about to lose.”

Damian tapped his marker on the Macedonian right. “This is the companion calvary, Alexander’s elite force, and they—” he cut off when he noticed his pupil digging in the toy bin, clearly distracted. The kid came up with a battered Transformer, which he set behind Damian’s lines. 

“Elliot. Alexander did not have robots.”

“But,” said Tim, rummaging through the box himself, “did he have wizards?” He pulled a bearded magician out of the tub and held it up for Damian to see. 

“You know he didn’t.”

Tim passed the wizard to Elliot. “But what if he did?”


“How would that go?”


“Abracadabra, Alexander!” Elliot yelled, gleefully smashing through Damian’s entire left flank.

“Damn it, Drake.” Damian sighed in frustration— not quite the rise Tim was hoping for, but still something. He dropped Elliot’s discarded robot back into the box.

“I don’t know what you were expecting,” Tim told him. “Elliot’s four. He’s too young for— what is this— military history?”

“He was doing fine before you showed up.” Damian started to re-erect his soldiers, but he gave it up after Elliot came in for a second pass. “Which is typical, isn’t it?”

“Good one.”

“Thank you.” Damian crossed his arms. “Fine. I’ll bite. When is he supposed to learn this kind of thing?”

“High school? Maybe never.”

“That can’t be right.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Frequently.” Damian rolled his eyes. “I’m getting a second opinion.”

“I’ll wait.”

Damian checked the room for potential allies. “Thomas?” he called over his shoulder, “You learned military strategy as a kid, right?”

Duke looked up from the book he was reading to a pair of kindergardeners. “Just you, man.”

“Told you.” Tim fished a bag of plastic ninja from the toy box and arranged them pointedly into a row. “How are you still surprised by this kind of thing?”

Damian glared at him. “Okay, first of all? I’m not a— hold on a second. Elliot!”

Elliot froze with a large, plastic dinosaur held aloft over the battlefield. He drew it sheepishly back to his chest. “Sorry.”

“Not in the calvary wing,” Damian told him. “You’ll scare the horses.”

“Here?” Elliot pointed to the front of the phalanx.



“Aim for his center.” Damian turned back to Tim. “Anyway. Why are you still talking to me? I thought we had an agreement about unnecessary contact.”

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Mystic Messenger : Day 4 ~ V Walkthrough (FULL ANSWERS)

Contributor (THANK YOU SO MUCH): @verycharismaticdragon

If you are on phone, please setting the page to be seen in the computer version! On the phone, the answers are sometimes unaligned and it can confuse you…

In order to not bother and annoy my followers who don’t play this game by this looong post, I’ll put a seperate line. Click to see.

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Anyway Moriel shippers whining about Mor being gay can suck my dick lol.

Is it probably tokenism? Yes. Is it probably going to be lazy, last minute representation? Yes. Do any of you homophobes using these things for your complaints actually fucking give a shit about whether or not it’s tokenism? No! You’re just homophobic, so stop pretending like you actually care about the quality of gay representation!

I can’t believe some of you actually have the audacity to to say shit like “this is coming out of nowhere” and “Mor just doesn’t SEEM like she’s gay” and “but poor Azriel!” and “but I wanted Moriel to happen!” and “I’m not saying I don’t want representation, I just don’t think it should be Mor.”

First of all, if you’re straight (and most of the people complaining here are) how DARE you say anything about Mor “seeming gay” or not. How DARE you. What the actual fuck could you possibly know about it. Nothing. You could know nothing.

Second of all, of COURSE you don’t think it should be Mor. You CARE about Mor. Mor is beautiful, bubbly, funny, smart, outgoing. Her storyline is important to the main plot. She’s survived tragedy and emerged triumphant. You relate to her. And most of all, you want her to get together with a male character. And for her to be GAY? Oh no! Now this is ruined for you. Now she’s not perfect anymore. God forbid gay people have a gay character with positive traits they can look up to and relate to in a series. God forbid ONE character out of a TON of straights had to be made gay and now you can’t relate anymore.

I’ve seen multiple people say “I like the representation, but I thought Mor should be with Azriel and Amren should be gay. Why couldn’t it be Amren?” This. Is VERY telling. Amren is described as not overly beautiful, she has a more abrasive personality, and most importantly, she doesn’t seem interested in any kind of romantic relationship. At all. Her being gay would not get in the way of ANY of your straight romances/ships/plots. It probably would’t even be brought up a lot, because it’s doubtful she’d even be with someone. So people saying that Amren would have been a better candidate feels very much like “Ugh, the gays can HAVE that weird freak Amren, but it’s not fair they get that pretty girl! How can MOR be gay?? What about the boy I want as her boyfriend?”

So many people are shielding themselves from being called homophobic by saying “I want a character to be LGBT! I want there to be representation for LGBT! (Just not THIS character)” Well that’s bullshit, first of all because the way you say “LGBT” instead of “LGBT characters” or “gay characters” kinda reveals the way you view representation as some nebulous kind of check-the-box category to get over with instead something actually important, and second of all because the “LGBT representation” that you’re “all for” is a very specific kind of representation. It’s the kind that isn’t really representation at all.

You’re “all for LGBT rep,” but you never actually want characters you LIKE to be gay. You never want the characters you ship in straight relationships to turn out gay. You want the ugly characters, the evil characters (who are going to die anyway), the characters who never end up in relationships, (and the “smol bean xD” men who you fetishize and ship with other men, but that’s another issue) to turn out gay. That way you can pat yourself on the back for how good and diverse your series is while continuing to enjoy the main straight characters in their straight relationships. That way you’re never forced to invest in the humanity of gay people and their stories, because their “stories” are just a casual mention of their sexuality, or a side plot so tiny it might as well not exist (like in tog).

And as for “poor Azriel!” do I really have to tell you why that’s fucking dumb? I guess it’s not uncommon in this fandom to always prioritize men over women (re: “poor Rhysand when Feyre had to sleep with her abuser that must have been so hard for HIM!!”), but still. Listen to yourself.

On top of all of this, I find it pretty funny (I don’t. I don’t find it funny. At all. None of this is funny it makes me want to vomit) that straight people are throwing a tantrum and acting like it’s the worst thing ever that a ship they were passionate about couldn’t work out because of the characters’ sexualities. HAHAHAHAHAHA! The irony of it, honestly, and the fact that none of you realize it… wow. Do y’all. Have any idea. How many times that happens to gay readers? On a REGULAR basis?? The two characters are similar. Have good chemistry. Interact in a way that hints at a relationship. Would be perfect together. You care about them, you grow invested. And just when you think they might be endgame… oops! They’re straight, and they can’t be together. I don’t have an ounce of pity for people saying that they’re SO upset by this because they were in love with the ship and now it can’t happen because of sexuality. This is our LIFE. It happened to you one fucking time, and the relationship wasn’t even that developed; somehow I think you’ll be okay.

To sum it up, when I hear people complaining about Mor being gay because they thought she should be with Azriel, literally all I hear is “wait but gay people are fine only as long as they don’t get in the way of straight ships and characters :( why can’t they stay on the fringes of the plot where they belong and leave us straights alone :( we used to have 100% of the characters and plot and now we only have 99% :( life is so hard :(“

It’s honestly just really disheartening to see straight people responding so nastily to this, especially when this is just a tiny drop of real representation. Mor’s sexuality might not end up being well done in the book, but there are a lot of gay and bi girls who read these books and this could genuinely make a difference to them. And THAT will ALWAYS be more important than the success of a straight ship, especially in a series in which there is absolutely NO shortage of straight ships and characters. Go pick two of the other 10,000 straight characters to ship and leave us alone.

anonymous asked:

biker even and isak on the back :D

aaah tysm for the prompt anon 💝  i really do like the idea of even on a bike :)

isak has been listening to thomas brag about his job and his possessions and how well connected he is ever since he got into his car. 

“the restaurant i’m taking you to, it’s the best in town when it comes to italian food. you usually have to book two months in advance, but,” he stops to wink at isak. “i know people.” 

isak simply nods at him. “that’s awesome,” he says, although he doesn’t really mind where they end up eating. he’s not much of a picky eater - with his long shifts at the hospital, he’s learned to settle for whatever’s edible and readily available. 

“obviously, it doesn’t quite compare to the authentic dining experience you’d get in italy, but i own real estate there, you know - i’ll take you one of these days.” 

i can’t just randomly take time off to travel for the sake of “an authentic dining experience”. we’ve met a week ago. this is the first time we’re spending time alone. 

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Little Monster part 2


Pairing: Professor!Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: A couple bad words?

Word count: 1.773

Summary: First class, first time meeting with professor Rogers. An old friend returns and raises some questions.

A/N: Some of you asked for more insight on how Steve looks at things… Well lucky you!

Part 1

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paciencia y fe

for nurseydex week day 2 - bed sharing

Dex is irritated as hell. Hand it to the guy named Nurse to get sick on a roadie, the minute their game finished. Dex isn’t even really sure when exactly Nursey started feeling off, but one second they were on the ice, checking the guys from Quinnipiac, tipping that last sweet goal in from just off the side, crashing into each other, and the next Nurse was looking pale and shaky, eyes glazed and hands trembling. Dex had taken one look at him and dragged him off the ice to the change room, and it was a testament to how bad Nurse must’ve been feeling that he didn’t fight him. The bus to the hotel was long with Nursey shivering into his hoodie and worn-looking sweatpants.

Dex slings Nursey’s bag over one shoulder and hauls up his own, ignoring Nurse’s wide-eyed expression and faltering mumble, “You don’t have to—”

“Bro,” Holster cuts him off, throwing a hand down on Nurse’s shoulder and making his knees dip dangerously. “Dexy’s your d-man. He’s got your back,” and Dex has never heard Holster sound quite so approving as he does in this moment. He can’t help it – he goes red.

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This Is Love: Part Four

Summary: Being Bucky’s PA wasn’t easy and you respond to his grumpy attitude with your own. The two of you have never gotten on, forced to stay working with him because your Uncle Tony insists you have a job. 

Word count: 2418

Warnings: swearing

A/N: this is the last tiny bit of douche Bucky, I am very sorry he’s nice after this

Part One    Part Two    Part Three

You’ve never felt happier in your job than you do now, curled up with Steel, chatting casually with Wanda and not worrying about what nasty things Bucky might say to you next time you see him. You haven’t told anyone about what happened after your date for fear that you might jinx it but you haven’t seen him since so you have no idea if the good mood he was in has lasted.

‘Ooh you know what we need to do soon?’ Wanda asks, shaking your arm excitedly. 'We have to go on a shopping trip. You, me and Nat’. You nod at her, definitely in need of an escape having not had a day off since you started this job.

'And meeeee’ you hear Sam squeal from the kitchen and laugh as he charges over to you. Your laugh is silenced when he slips and falls to the floor with a loud bang. He’s sat on the floor looking absolutely baffled and all three of you are stunned to silence. You’re the first to break it with a whooping laugh, clutching your sides and gasping for air, Wanda soon joins in and Sam, trying his hardest not to, finally smiles and pulls himself up. You wipe the tears from your eyes and giggle at the memory of Sam’s face.

'Ok I’ve got to tell the others’ you say, still laughing. As you skip away you hear Sam yell after you telling you not to breathe a word of it to anyone but you ignore him and run of to the labs where at least two of the team, Bruce and Tony, will definitely be.

The automatic doors slide open and you dance in, not phased when you see not only Tony but also Steve and Bucky who all look like they’ve been in quite a heated argument. You smile at each of them and when your eyes land on Bucky the smile wavers, taken slightly aback by his cold stare. In an attempt to lighten the mood you jump onto Tony’s work surface, throw your hands behind you and leaning on them as a support you let your head fall backwards, your hair spilling onto the desk still laughing as you had been the whole way here. You look around again to already see some of the tension alleviated, all three of their faces softened and smiling. You begin your story with a giggle and a deep breath before you launch into it.

'Oh my god’ you say, already needing to pause for another giggle, 'the funniest thing just happened. Ok so Wanda said we need to go on a shopping trip soon and then all of a sudden Sam just bursts in and runs up to us. And then’ you gasp for air and continue, 'and then he slips over and lands right on his bum’ at this you squeal with laughter and collapse, physically wheezing and hitting the table with your hand. The three men listening to your story are all smiling and Tony joins in with your laughter. When you calm down you look around again. 'So what’re you guys talking about?’

'How you had a date that you didn’t tell me about. Seriously I’m your uncle it’s my job to know this’ Tony says in a mock offended tone. You shrug and smile sheepishly.

'Chill out he was a total fuckface, literally one of the worst humans walking. And if your that well vest in my love life Nat says she knows a guy she can set me up with’ you say casually, your mind drifting back to the picture Nat showed you on her phone of the guy, Mathew you think his name was and smile to yourself.

'Really?’ you turn to look at Bucky, his face twisted with bitterness as he spits the question in disgust.

'Mhmm’ you hum in confirmation, determined not to let him get to you. At this he laughs harshly and mockingly and you brace yourself for his next words.

'Let’s hope he’s not as bad as the last one then I might not have to listen to your problems and pretend to care’. Your eyes widen and the smile falls from your face to be replaced by a grimace. You knew his kindness towards you couldn’t last long. You hop down from the surface and glare at him with your hands on your hips.

'Are you fucking kidding me?’ you shout and ignoring Steve mumble something about language you continue. 'If I remember correctly I was fucking comforting you cause of a dumb nightmare! What are you like five? Who the fuck still has nightmares at 100?’ You know it’s a low blow but you just want to hurt him as much as he has you. He gets to his feet, towering above you with that familiar deadly inside look in his eyes. You flinch and take a step back holding a finger up as a warning not to step any closer. You’re still nursing your bruised chest and don’t want another set of purple blotches to try and cover. 'Stay the fuck away from me James’ you growl and watch as his stare wavers exposing a hint of hurt and regret. He turns and strides out, walking so quickly that he has to stop and wait for the automatic doors to slide open. You watch him go, the glare still fixed on your face and are about to leave to go to the common area back to Wanda and Sam when Steve puts a hand on your shoulder.

’(Y/N) he’s not a bad guy I promise’ Steve attempts to reason with you and defend his friend. You shrug his arm off and interrupt him before he can continue to waste his breath.

'Steve stop. Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put flowers in an asshole and call it a vase’ you snap before turning and following in Bucky’s foot steps.

When you walk into the common area the room is filled with laughter. A laughter which soon dies as Sam and Wanda take in your glum expression. Both sigh and Wanda, in an attempt to lift your spirits grabs her phone and hits shuffle on her 'when (Y/N)’s depressed’ playlist, the music that fills the room instantly making you smile. The three of you start dancing wildly to the song, your back to the door so you don’t see or hear Bucky enter and stand in the doorway, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards almost involuntarily. His small smile soon falls away however when you bend over, pressing your bum into Sam’s crotch and swinging your hips in circles, and it turns into an almost deadly jealous glare at Sam when he rests one hand on your lower back and lifts the other into the air in a fist pump. Both of you are fully aware that the two of you are just friends and this is obviously just banter but Bucky is not and, taken over by envy, he struts calculatingly up to Sam who has his back to him. He taps Sam on the shoulder and when he turns around, brings a metal fist up to collide with his jaw sending him flying maybe two or three metres backwards. Bucky’s chest is heaving with anger and you run to Sam’s side, holding his head in your hands as he blinks up at you, bewildered.

'What the hell is wrong with you?’ you yell at Bucky who’s attention now turns to you. He looks confused at your tone which is infused with a white hot rage.

'He was all over you (Y/N)! What’d you think I was gonna stand by and let him harass you like that?’

'He wasn’t harassing me James we were dancing! Jesus!’ Your attention turns back to Sam who moans in pain. 'Hey look at me’ you order. 'Can you stand?’ When he nods you get him to his feet. 'We’re gonna take you to the hospital wing ok?’ He nods again, holding his hand to his jaw and wincing at the slight pressure. Throwing a last glare at a still confused Bucky you help him to the lift and then into a free bed in the wing. When he’s settled you look down at him sympathetically. 'I’m gonna kill him’ you say decidedly. Sam shakes his head.

'No you’re not. He’s just jealous’ he says and you’re reminded of the last time you heard him say that before your date.

'I don’t understand why would he be jealous? We’re like sworn enemies’.

'I think’ Sam begins and then winces again before continuing. 'I think he really likes you. Like really, really likes you’.

'He’s got a funny way of showing it. If that’s how he treats people he likes god knows how he treats people he actually doesn’t like’.

'He’s afraid. I’ve seen this before, veterans who are too scared to get close to their loved ones in case they leave them when they learn about all the things they’ve done. He doesn’t want you to get too close cause he doesn’t want you knowing about his past’.

'I already know about his past, what’s he got to be afraid of?’ you question in slight disbelief.

'Ok then maybe he’s afraid of himself. Maybe he’s pictured you and him together and seen himself waking up from a nightmare only to find his hand round your throat or HYDRA taking you and hurting you as some kind of bargaining chip. I think’ he pauses and beckons you to come closer, 'I think he might be in love with you’. At this you bark out a short laugh right in his ear and he winces.

'Sorry’ you whisper. 'How can you even come to that conclusion? How can he be in love with me and yet treat me like he does?’

'To protect you’ he states simply. 'He’s sacrificing his own happiness with you for your safety’. He says this like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. With the way he words it you almost believe him and he looks up at you, smiling in the knowledge that he’s given you something to think about.

'I don’t believe you’ you say quietly, still slightly in shock.

'Yes you do’ Sam says from his bed. You step outside the clammy room and rest your back against the wall, sinking down until your bum hits the floor. Pulling your knees up under your chin you bury you face in your hands and allow the thoughts in your mind to run free. What if Bucky really was in love with you? And could you really take that chance? Could you honestly confront him, put your heart on the line only for it to turn out that Sam had been wrong? You didn’t think you could. If it backfired you could loose your job and worse still your dignity. It was hell working with him anyway, it would be even worse after a conversation like that. You decide to clear your clouded mind and getting to your feet you head off back to the common area, thinking that if you heard Bucky say one nasty thing to you you could put Sam’s idea down to concussion. When you push the doors open and walk in Bucky has his head in his hands and Wanda is resting one hand on his shoulder. Both look up upon your enter and you swallow slowly the words 'he’s in love with you’ swimming around in your mind.

'You broke his jaw’ you say staring hardly at Bucky.

'I’m sorry’ he says quietly and you curse him in your mind for not being his usually bitchy self.

'It’s not me you should be apologising to’. You’re clutching at straws now to make him say what you keep expecting him too.

'You’re right. I’ll go down there later and apologise’. You wince slightly at his deep blue eyes now filled with sorrow and his calm yet upset tone. God dammit just say something dickish, you think. 'I’m sorry?’ You hear Bucky question and your eyes snap up to him. You’d said that out loud. Shit, you think, your heart racing and you squeeze your eyes shut to compose yourself.

'Urgh’ you moan walking over to the kitchen counter. 'Doesn’t even matter’. You wrench the door of the fridge open and grab the large tub of ice cream you had put aside for a day like today. Sinking down in one of the couches you pry the lid off and all your attention turns the the delicious treat waiting for you. You’re barely one spoonful in when the headache caused by your relentlessly conflicting emotions gets too much for you to handle. You set the tub down next to you and once again hang your head into your hands. You can’t help but let the few tears brimming in your eyes escape and Bucky, upon catching these gets up to come and sit with you, taking your hands away from your face and holding them in his own. He looks into your eyes and you feel like he’s penetrated your soul, unable to hold eye contact for too long because of the sheer intensity of his stare.

'I’m sorry’ he repeats and you have to fight to suppress the loud sob threatening to erupt from your throat.

'The fuck kinda drugs has Wanda put you on?’ You say, trying to cover your emotional state.

'She just.. knocked a bit of sense into me that’s all’ he says smilingly and throwing a thankful glance at Wanda. 'Forgive me?’ he asks, giving you a lopsided grin.

'Sure’ you say, a bit in shock from just those two words. You offer him your hand as a signal of peace and he takes it in his own, shaking it and when he releases it he smiles again. 'Friends?’ you say as a last test of Sam’s theory and to make sure you were on the same page. If he did see you in the way Sam said he did he would say something surely?

'Friends’ he repeats, smiling almost sadly. You nod, knowing now that Sam was wrong. Bucky wasn’t in love with you, that much was clear and you smiled in the knowledge that your job would be made a hell of a lot easier now you were friends even if you couldn’t be anything more.

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“Calling this film a bonding experience might be putting it lightly. Many of the actresses knew each other before shooting — but now they’re in a special, insane little club that only they understand. It’s particularly special for McKinnon and Jones, both current Saturday Night Live members, who had no idea they were going to be cast in the film.

“I think I was getting fitted for something at Saturday Night Live,“ McKinnon says. "My agent called. I was pretty surprised, in a very good way. I truly had no idea.”

The group finally got together for the first time as the official Ghostbusters team at the 40th anniversary of SNL in 2015. “I knew I loved them all as performers and I guess I didn’t know quite how much I would end up loving them as people,” McKinnon says.

“I don’t know if I can say this, but Kate has literally become my bitch,” Jones says later. “That is my bitch for life. Like, she is my heart and soul. Kristen is one of the sweetest, open people that I have ever, ever encountered, and Melissa is like a mother. She’s just, like, really very nurturing … I’ve taken a lot of love from this group.””

Kate on getting her part in Ghostbusters, and also Leslie talking about how much she loves them <3 Everyday I’m still like so happy that we got this awesome movie with these four amazing and funny actresses..