say it sweet

I’m angry. I have been, for weeks now.

I didn’t want to make a post or say anything because I don’t think enough people will notice or care. But fuck that, because I’ve got something to say.

I’m a fanfic writer for Haikyuu, I’ve been one for over a year; going on two. I’ve written 50 fics for this fandom, and I’ve been posting one fic or chapter update every week since the beginning of this year.

I write because I love writing, because I have a lot of ideas, and because I love the characters. I post my work because I think other people might enjoy my work, too.

But I’m also sick of it.

I’m sick of spending all my free time on writing only to get ten notes max on my fics on tumblr. Which, you know - it might just be that people don’t like my work. But it’s not just me.
I’ve participated in events, and if you look at the pages for any fandom-related project that includes artists and writers, I can assure you that you’ll always find the same thing: art with over a thousand notes per pic, and fics with less than twenty.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the art that people are creating in the fandom, just as much as the next person. I buy every zine I can get my hands on. I commission artists when I can.

Recently, I commissioned a writer. I didn’t even know that was a thing until a couple months ago, and even then, I’ve seen writers offer 1k words or more for as little as 3$. Are you fucking kidding me. I paid 25$ for 4k and I wish I could have tipped more.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m done with this.

I’ve been thinking every single day for the last three weeks that I want to just say I’m not going to be writing anymore. Because I’ve got no more energy for this. I’ve got enough other shit going on, and constantly being angry about how writers are treated is not helping, and it’s not something I can turn off. Every day I’ve been thinking “you should just go. For your sake. Stop this shit.”

I can’t do that. When I finally reached that point, and made the decision today that I’d stop, I’m done, I’m out - I immediately felt AWFUL. I love writing, and I love the friends I’ve made through it. I get really sweet and supportive comments sometimes. I feel like my work has maybe impacted a handful of people.

But I hate this. I hate the way the fandom treats us. I hate getting 1k hits and 2 comments. I hate getting 20 notes, only one of which is a reblog. Who’s going to see my work? No one. I hate it, and I don’t know what to do about it.

I guess that’s all. Expect a new fic from me next week, as always. Because as much as I hate it, I can’t leave. But I’m done pretending I’m not angry. Because I am.

10

top 50 otps of all time ☆ #35. Rae Earl & Finn Nelson 

“When I look around, I see that everyone’s the protagonist of their own story. And the thing about stories is that not all of them have a happy ending. But some do.”

Does anyone else find it sweet that Logan wanted to take Charles Xavier out on a boat to live out the rest of his days

Their life together was MISERABLE.

It was sad and dark and full of…ugh, driving, sand, and dirt.

Logan not only did not abandon Charles, even though their life together was this boring, horrible, frustrating little struggle for survival. 

He didn’t go searching for a new life.

He STUCK around. 

Took care of Charles’s needs.

Took care of him even though he was dangerous and expensive to take care of and rather petulant, stubborn, and miserable, not easy to be around, due to his mental degradation. 

And what did Logan dream of?

What did he aspire to, after years of glory as a hero and countless victories, years of being strong and free? 

Just wanted to take Charles somewhere happy. 

Just wanted to make him happy and content out on the sea before he died. 

And Logan would’ve been happy there too. 

He was gonna blow his brains out, wasn’t he?

When?

After Xavier died on that boat? 

Did anyone else find that sweet? 

And sad? 

Cute things to say to your boyfriend/girlfriend

-Our love is God.
-Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
-Let’s go get a slushie.
-Why are you pulling on my dick?
-Are we going to prom or to hell?
-Should I just whip it out or….?
-I thought you could rip my clothes off me, sport
-Why are you in my room?
-Do I look like Mother Teresa?

@otayuriweek

Day 7: Fantasy/Soul Mates

Where Yuri is Spring and Otabek is Winter. 

Yuri incessantly complains about the tragedy of his cursed love story. But little did he know that the flowers splashed and dotted across his new meadows fell dormant in Winter only so that they can bloom more beautifully in Spring. 

Winter gives and gives and eventually dies so that Spring can truly live.