Based off the song “say goodbye” by Chris brown
Pairing: calumhood X reader
Word count: idfk??
How did I let it get this far? After all these years with her. I know it’s hard but I’ve gotta do it. I can’t keep lying to her. How can you tell the woman you’ve dedicated four years of your life that you don’t love her anymore? How am I supposed to just tell her, I know it’ll break her heart but it would be better than to let her believe that I still love her the way I used to….
It’s now… Or never.
“Um, Y/N? Can we talk for a minute?”
I say as I walk in our shared room.
“Yeah sure cal, what’s up?” She says as she closes her laptop to look at me. I walk closer to her as I feel my heart getting heavier with each step.
“I uh- we need to-”
I stumble in my words as everything I had planned on saying just flew out of my mind.
“Hey, hey cal. Whatever It is its okay. Just take a breath and then take a deep breath out, okay?” She says as she walks closer and rubs my arms. God dammit…. Just- just tell her calum. She deserves the truth, she deserves better. Better than me and better than this life that I’m giving her. I sigh with a shaky breath as a grab her hands and sit her down on the bed.
“Alright… There’s some things that I need to get off my chest, But let me start by saying I love you okay? And I swear you’ll understand when I’m finished-”
“What’s going on cal? You’re scaring me.“ She questions with a slightly worried look coming across. "Did you eat my pizza that was in the fridge? If you did it’s okay, I figured it’d either be you or michael anywa-” she rambles on still trying to calm me down while she rubs the back of my neck. I’ll miss that..
“Please! Please, just..let me finish okay? I love you Y/N, and a part of me always will. But I can’t keep lying to you… If I don’t say this now, you’re going to start hating me.. I’m so sorry Y/N I really am, but I don’t- fuck… I don’t feel the same way I used to feel about you..” I utter as she removes her hands from mine getting up and standing away from me.
“W-what?” She gasps as I can see her eyes start to water.
“I’m so sorry Y/N , I just didn’t know how to tell you and I it’s been killing me for months-”
“MONTHS?! MONTHS CALUM?? How long have you been faking it?? How long have you not loved me calum?? How long have you been leading me on? I thought you loved me! I THOUGHT SE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED FOR FUCKS SAKE! How could you?!” She cried out as she stood in front of me hitting my chest.
“No. NO! You don’t get to call me that ever again!”
“I-I’m sorry Y/N, I never meant t-”
“NEVER MEANT TO WHAT?!? Never meant to crush my entire world? Never meant to string me along for months? Never meant to break my heart so bad that the neighbors could hear it break for miles? Never meant to stop loving me or never meant to fall for me in the first place??” She fumed as she started to pace around ou- her room.
“I’m so sorry Y/N.. But I never NEVER meant to hurt you, and I never thought I’d see the day that we’d grow apart. But things haven’t been the same since I left for tour, we would talk less and less every day until we would text maybe once every two weeks. And then when I got home things just didn’t feel right… I can’t say how sorry I am for being the reason for your tears, I just-”
“Is there someone else?”
She mutters catching me off guard.
“Wha.. What? No! No, I wouldn’t do that Y/N. You know that..”
“Actually No I don’t! I don’t know anything anymore! I few moments ago I thought I had a loving boyfriend who loved me but now I have nothing. I don’t even have a reason to hate you… And I really REALY want to…” She says as she clenches and unclenches her fists letting her tears fall as I start to feel my own build up in my eyes. She wants to hate me? I knew this would be bad… But I could never hate her or stop caring for her… I just don’t love her like I used to. I started backing up until I hit the desk chair falling down into it. Fully letting the fact that she wants to hate me sink in as I feel hot tears falls down my face and my mouth hangs open slightly.. She is facing away from me as I hear her sobs echo throughout this now seemingly tiny room that we used to share.
“Just- just lie to me.. Lie to me one more time… Tell me that there’s someone else, tell me that you never loved me… Let me have this… Let my have a reason to get over you quicker….” She whispers as she goes over and sits on her side of the bed. I can barely see her through the tears clouding my vision, maybe she did need to hate me… If that’s what will help her move on… That’s the least I can do for her if it’s the last thing I ever do for her.
“There’s- there’s someone else…” I whisper hating the words that leave my mouth as I hang my head and feel my heart break. I hear her give one loud sob as she holds herself and looks away from me.
“Just leave calum… Just go away.”
I go to our once shared closet and grab what I can and put it in my suitcase that was still by the door. I zipped up what I had and managed to take a photo we took on our one year anniversary. I went to open the door to leave the girl I was supposed to grow old with to cry herself to sleep. I look back one last time
“I’m so sorry Y/n… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner…”
“well I guess there’s just never a right time to say goodbye is there?” She says as she lifts her head up still looking away from me.
I take a moment to collect myself and then turn to leave the place I once called home… The place where I just broke a beautiful girl.
…..Did I really make the right decision?
Sorry for any typos, I did this super quick on my phone.
I WAS HAVING SOME CALUM FEELS AND THEN THIS SONG CAME ON AND DAMMIT!
(But please tell me what you thought…)