saw this and knew i needed to post it

Bergen County, New Jersey

Every once in a while, I discover an extraordinarily special place. And by special I mean hideous. Bergen County, New Jersey is that place. This will not be the first, nor the last time this county will show up on this blog, as its houses and I have a long working relationship ahead of us. 

So where to start? I used this house as an example in another post before (can’t remember which one) but I knew from the first time I saw it, that I needed to dive deeper. 

Man, where to start. First of all, the exterior of this house appears to be screaming in two different ways: either the two dormers, or the two “sidelight” windows are the eyes, with the door being the agape mouth. With the absurd windows on the front facade, the silly fake quoins, and the pseudo-Palladian elements scattered all over the place, I have a feeling this place is going to go down in McMansionHell history as a Certified Dank™ Legend.

This house (built in 1988 as we will all soon see) has seven bedrooms and six bathrooms, and is currently retailing for almost 3.5 million dollars.  

By far, my favorite McMansions are the ones that are like time capsules. You open the obnoxiously large front door and step into the obnoxiously large entryway and are instantly transported into another era. 

In this case, that era is 1988. 

Front Entryway

My favorite part about the 80s was how they axed all of the environmental reforms made in the 70s while simultaneously obsessing over having as many house plants as possible. 

Living Room (1 of 2)

At least piano makers are thankful that their art is being funded by those who buy large instruments as symbols of wealth. 

Study

Fake book subjects commonly include: 
- Business
- Law
- Classic Literature

Dining Room (1 of 2)

Seriously I don’t think you guys are prepared for what you’re about to see. 

This has to be one of the best worst vintage 80s rooms I’ve ever seen. 

Dining Room (2 of 2)

Those poor plants, working like slaves for the man. 

The Kitchen! 

Who thought that orange was a remotely good idea?? Spoilers: it was probs HGTV.

Living Room (2 of 2)

Luckily for the homeowner, many elements from this room (the furniture and wall color) are coming back in style again, as dark green is all the rage this year apparently. 

Master Suite (Part 1)

Shocked that the drapes don’t have the same pattern as the wallpaper. 

Master Suite (Part 2)

P sure the hyper-femininity of the 80s and early 90s were what led to the creation of the ManCave during the dawn of the 21st century.

Master Bathroom

This bathroom almost looks like it came out of a Robert A.M. Stern coffee table book from the late 80s. Whoever did this interior was a licensed interior designer. I’m pretty sure those vanities are custom. 

On to the last room of our tour! (Somehow there weren’t pictures of the other 6 bedrooms or the other 5 baths…)

The Basement

Seriously the mirrored door is hella choice. 

Fortunately, our tour ends on a positive note this week, as the rear of this house actually makes some architectural sense:

Rear Exterior

Well folks, I hope you enjoyed that tour as much as I did. I love these time capsule houses - you can learn a lot from studying the design trends of the past; most notably, when they’re coming back. 

Stay tuned for this Sunday’s special post, McMansionHell from A to Z (Part Two) and, of course, next week’s dank McMansion!

Like this post? Want to see more like it and get behind the scenes access to everything McMansionHell? Consider supporting me on Patreon!

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs in this post are from real estate aggregate Zillow.com and are used in this post for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107.

My therapist keeps telling me to write down my thoughts and at first, I didn’t see the point of it.

But today I feel like I need to. I’m nervous. It’s stupid. I know that. It’s just looking at a flat, for God’s sake. But Sherlock Holmes is something else. I can’t stop thinking about yesterday. He just knew everything! He saw right through me. He saw me. Part of me knows I should turn away. He’s dangerous. He’s mad. But I don’t want to.

So, I’m off to go look at the flat. If I don’t post anymore or text you back, you’ll know who to look for.

Sherlock Holmes, at 221B Baker Street.

Storm of Lust

It was obvious we weren’t meant to be forever, but that night our paths crossed and for a short moment we found one another. We found one another and yet I didn’t realise I was looking for her, but it’s when I saw her that I knew she was what I needed, I knew she was what I was searching for. The next day we would be strangers to one another, but that night we somehow found each other in what seemed like an endless sea of people. The next day we would be back to our normal lives, but that night nothing could stop us to have some fun. Everything about her was special and enthralling, she obviously wasn’t “perfect”, as if there is such thing, but she was for sure more remarkable than any other girl in the room. It wasn’t her look that immediately winded me, of course she was beautiful, but the first thing I caught about her was her scent as she passed by me at the bar. The usual cloud of smell in the club could not contain the gentle turmoil that was her aroma. The smog of alcohol and sweat was easily pierced by the soft ray of her fragrance. And as she passed by me a whiff of her aroma was casted on me, her sweet scent caressed my nose and grabbed me by the chin, my head had no other choice but to follow her silhouette in the crowd. She smelled delicious and flavourful, she smelled like love and passion, and she smelled sweet and somehow rough, all that at the same time. In no time her perfume drowned my mind with desire and burned my lungs with passion, I wasn’t sure what I was feeling anymore but for sure it felt good. After that, I had no other choice but to leave my drink there, I had no other choice but to leave my friend mid sentence here, I had no other choice but to follow her. I joined her on the dancefloor, took her by her hand and spun her toward me, she giggled and stared into my eyes. Spinning her around sent a gust of her fragrance that only charmed me more. Quickly we sweated and moved with passion and yet our clothes were still on.

After that everything else happened so fast, we talked, we danced, we drank, after that it didn’t take long before my mind began to spin. She proposed some shots and enchanted by the idea I followed her back to the bar. There she moved closer and closer to me, there I think I pulled her towards me, there she mentioned a discreet place for later. Before I could respond anything, we went back dancing. On the dancefloor, we could not leave one another and after dancing for a while she bit her lips and gave me a bewitching wink. Then, she left her friends there as she dragged me through the room, she dashed down some stairs and I followed her to another floor, then we flew across a calmer and less crowded room and we dove down some more stairs. We landed into a small and dark corridor, she turned to me and said with a mischievous smile that we should not be bothered here. But honestly, she could have brought me anywhere I would have followed her anyway, at this point I was completely under her spell. At the end of the long corridor she opened a door and invited me in. To this day, I’m still not sure who did what next, I’m still not sure what happened afterward or at least in what order. Next thing I remember was the intoxicating feeling of her lips stuck against mines. I could not let her go, her lips’ taste stayed on my tongue and her lipstick reddened my mouth as she took my breath away. A mere tease of her inebriating body and already I craved to lick more of her, I hungered to eat her, I thirsted of her juice and I demanded her moans. Even the few shots we took beforehand could not dull our senses. It seemed as if our outrageous lust sharpened our minds and controlled our bodies in this devilish act.

Our tongues latched on one another and caressed around in our mouths. It seemed as if our tongues like our bodies could not be separated. After all, we could not stop to touch and caress one another as we spun around the small bathroom. In an indecent whirlwind, I pinned her on the stall door, she straddled me on the seat, I bent her over the sink, she pushed me on the wall. We were in a continuous tempest of passion almost too small for the room to contain. After she pushed me on the wall, she latched her claws on my shirt and kissed my chest. Her crimson lipstick stained the white fabric of my shirt, she was obviously and lewdly marking her catch while unbuckling my belt.

Though our foreplay was long it was rushed, it was passionate but delicate, it was rough yet sweet, and somehow our foreplay was hot in that cold bathroom. Or so it seemed to us. Our foreplay could have been a few minutes or many it did not really matter. Time obviously did not stop for us but we surely did not want to waste any second, we wanted to use every minute we had with our bodies before getting caught. In an instant her mouth was on my crotch, she was tasting me through my underwear, passing her lips on my bulge and underlining my swelling with her tongue. Then, in a quick motion her fingers snatched my underwear down. I could hear her silently savour me as her lips lapped on my cock. Surprised by her mouth work I stutetered a ccurse as I closed my eyes. I could not see anything but I could feel her tongue trace my length and I could feel her saliva quickly coat my cock as her tongue coiled me. Once she got me to the hardness she wanted, once she filled her hunger, we quickly switched place on the wall. Swiftly I spread her legs apart and pulled down her pants. My hands dove into her panties while my mouth began to cover her breast. My teeth then pulled down her bra as my fingers slowly slid inside her. Once inside of her, I heard her swallow her saliva and let out a faint sigh of relief as she enjoyed the penetration of my roaming fingers. Then, my nose rubbed against her skin as my mouth caressed its way to her nipples, circling around her nipple I felt her push her breast in my face as she took a deep breath. At this moment, my fingers pushed deeper inside her as my palm pressed against her clit, there I felt that my warm hand on her sensitive button made her shiver as she slightly grasped my forearm. I let her take a moment before my fingers began to viciously pump in her and my palm began to rapidly quake on her sensitive clit. Quickly, her juice dripped on my hand as I devoured her breast. Nibbled and fingered she tighten her grip on my arm as she let small moans escape her mouth. Now, with my mouth all over her breast, I must say that her body felt like honey, a delectable nectar that stuck to my lips and rolled on my tongue. The warmth of her body made me forget the staleness and coldness of the bathroom atmosphere. After a while, my hand slid away and all my fingers latched to her body as my mouth went back to hers. My hands wanted to brush her silhouette, my fingers wanted to paint her curves as our lips coloured our mouths of her red lipstick. Her moans tamboured into my ears and the rhythm of her gasps mixed with the music to restlessly hit my eardrums. Even tough I was still rock hard I could have been satisfied with just stealing her some moans, but her mischievous eyes said that she had more plans for me. She then let herself fall into my arms and I lift her up as she wrapped herself around my hips. I pinned her to the wall and we continued to exchange some deep kisses as we grinded against each other. I could feel that her soaked panties could barely restrain my cock as the tip was beginning to push between her lips. The tempo of the grinding continued to be heavy and dirty and we both knew what we wanted next.

I let her down to her feet and we went to the sink. Her back to me I caressed some kisses on her neck as my hands stroked her figure. I then bent her over, or more like she bent herself over before I could do anything, anyway we both wanted that either way. I eagerly took protection from my pocket and quickly put it on, my cock was throbbing as I could barely wait to feel more of her. I gave her a little slap on her beautiful ass and pushed her dripping panties aside. Then I slid my cock up and down her wet lips as she backed her rear on me. I pushed the head in and we both let out a moan of solace as she began to slowly move her hips, her ass moving in circles while the head of my cock was barely pushed inside her.

She shivered as I rammed my cock into her. The pounding of my cock in her echoed in the room as the mirror trembled from the blasting music of the club. Her moistness made lewd noises and this mesmerizing sound covered the noise of the locked door that was shaking because some people were trying to get in. I honestly did not realise she locked the door behind, everything happened so fast. But, I did not give it more thoughts as now I pushed deeply into her, she was only stopped by the sink as she received inside of her all my cock. The walls were shaking and we could not tell what was causing it, the pounding music of the club or the fierce ramming of my cock that was rocking the sink on the wall. I continuously pushed into her as my whole cock pumped in her with ease and rapidity. My hips rammed and shoved my cock into her with harshness and strength as her panting and moans only enhanced the music. In a way, it seemed as if her breathing and quivering had matched perfectly with the beat of the music. Actually, it almost felt as if the loud and energic symphony of the club could only be background noise to her suggestive and provocative moans. She closed her eyes and she let out cries of pleasure as I slapped her ass and pounded her pussy some more. She looked at me in the mirror, not at me as a person but as a momentarily giver of pleasure, she seemed to have been happy with her catch as she slowly brushed her tongue across her lips. I gave more strength in my thrusts, using all she gave me to burry my cock. Her hips tuned my pace and pushed on my cock at the right moments, she made sure to have all of me in her, she made sure to use all my length while she shivered on it. If at this moment, we would not have been both so selfish, our act would have been so selfless to one another, but in a way the meaningless of our sex was dedicated. After all, we did not want our moment together to last forever but to be memorable. So, I kept fucking her senselessly, her face inches away of the mirror as she moaned and shivered under my shoves. With this heated sex her shameless pleasure made her icy reflection fluster. Her warm moaning breath crashed onto the dirtied and old mirror as steam began to cover it. She sang for some more and I gave it to her. Then, I felt her getting closer and closer. She let her head fall down and she tightly grabbed the sink in front of her as her legs began to quiver. But, I grabbed her hair while pummeling my cock into her, I then pulled her hair to make her see the lustful scene in our blurry reflection. Her whimpers quickly crescendoed and it did not take much more time before we both finished in a gale of moans and grunts.

I gave her a kiss on her back as I retired myself. We both slowly took back our breath for a moment. She readjusted her clothes as I threw the condom in the trash. We put back our clothes while exchanging satisfied grins to one another. Then, she came closer to me and stared into my eyes as she bit her lower lip. We both wanted an encore but at the same time we both needed to take some air after this tornado of passion. She kissed me one last time and turned toward the door, freezing me on place with a huge smile on my face. She unlocked the door and began to open it, but she stopped for a small moment, she slightly turned her face toward me but without looking at me, she seemed to have had a brief moment of hesitation but then she disappeared in the confused crowd waiting outside the door.

Grant & Konnor

If you haven’t read Grant Part one of ? Please do so my clicking here: https://bicollegefessional.tumblr.com/post/155828392432/grant-part-one-of



It was an uneventful Thursday night at the gym. Around the holidays I swear the place gets deserted. Apparently nobody has the drive that I do to get big. Except for Grant, and my new “friend” Konnor. (and your casual run of the mill gym-goers that have not a damn clue what they’re doing)

I saw Grant walking in the same time as I was. We both slid each other smiles and knew that after our workout there would be a much needed “release.”

Trying to keep my mind off of the inevitable happy ending. I MURDERED chest day. You know those days where you feel like your pecs will never NOT be sore again? Yeah, one of those days. It was cardio after lifting day. I parked on a treadmill a few rows behind my newfound muscle-stud ASS-TASTIC friend Grant. I pumped out 1.5 miles and decided to call it quits. On my way out, I noticed Grant wasn’t far behind me. “This dude knows what’s up” I thought to myself. Smirking.

As soon as I walked into the locker room I felt a hand on my ass. Turning around with a sly smile I go “keep it in your pants for a few more minutes man.” He returned with a wink. GAME. ON. Today was a definite steam room day. Grant and I (after our last encounter) had grown much, much more comfortable with each other and had our lockers right next to each other. We wandered to the steam room bare-assed and laughing and joking the whole way.

We must have been in there 10 seconds when Grant body slams me into the wall. “Dude what the fuck?” I say, not really pissed, more laughing. When the guy hooks me into one of the best lip-locks I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. This dude was throat fucking me with his tongue. All over my mouth, hand behind my head pulling me in even more. Finally, I NEEDED to come up for air.

Grant had some sort of fire in his eyes that I don’t remember from our last encounter. At this point my dick was HARD, possibly the hardest it had ever been. So was his. We were BOTH leaking precum like a fountain. Grant grabbed my muscle stud cock and started kissing my neck (that shit will drive me over the edge almost INSTANTLY) he then moved down my pecs, then to my abs, then FINALLY (it seemed like FOREVER) he throated my 8” cock like it was nobody’s business.

“Dude you keep this shit up and I’m gonna end up cumming.”

“That’s the goal bro. Give it to me.” He looked up at me with the same fire in my eyes. This dude is fucking unstoppable.

“Dude. Gonna cum. Now. Where do you want it?”

“DOWN MY FUCKING THROAT MAN.” Grant commanded.

I let out one of the loudest moans I ever have in my life as this dude continued sucking the CUM OUT OF MY BALLS. There must have been not a damn drop left.

Grant got up, still smiling, and locked me into another forceful kiss. He made sure to give me some of my still-hot cum back.

“Fuck man. I must say. You cum, A. LOT.” Grant said, my cum still dripping off his teeth.

“So I’ve been told. Now it’s my turn to return the favor.” I said… Pushing grant onto the bench, I mounted him 69 style.

I immediately shoved all of his muscle stud cock in my mouth and cupped his full balls.

“Dude…FUUUUCK that feels so fucking good” Grant piped up in between moans.

My cock must have decided it was ready for round two at this point, because it was at FULL attention. And Grant quickly wasted no time and throated the whole thing.

At this point my hands decided they were going to make it to Grant’s muscle ass. He let out a moan as I brushed his pink asshole with my fingers. BINGO.

I eased one finger in, hoping it would send him over the edge. It did.

“Fuck dude I’m gonna cuuuuuuuuum” he said while pumping rope after rope down my throat.

“Me too dude, me too. Get ready.” I said with his hot cum still on my breath. “You pick where you want it.”

“My ass. On my ass.” Grant said with the biggest child-like smile on his face.

Grant got up, squatted down and spread his muscle ass cheeks and let me drop a load ALL OVER his hot fucking ass. LIFE. MADE.

(That’s load number 2 of the day in case you were wondering.)

Grant then got up to leave and said two words. “Follow me”

What the fuck was this dude thinking? The gym was dead, but I wasn’t about to go air my “dirty laundry” in public if you know what I mean.

Walking back to our lockers in the back corner of the locker room, I asked Grant what was going on.

“Dude. Trust me. I’ve done this before.” He said as he dropped to his knees and took my cock in his mount for a third time.

“Sit down. Relax. Stop worrying, man!” Grant commanded.

Eh, what the hell. I thought to myself. So I listened to him.

It was just then I heard the door to the locker room open. Grant and I quietly got up so as to not draw attention to each other. In walked in a dude that I had seen before in the gym. He was wearing a black mesh tank-top, black ball cap, and short grey shorts that showed off his power quads. This guy was HOT.

“Ey, wassup Konnor?” Grant piped up.

Fuck. These two studs know each other?

“Not much man. Leg day. (it would explain why his quads were SWOLE as fuck.) They’re dead dude. Dead.”

“Haha I get you man I get you.” As Konnor walked over to the scale (which was in plain view of us and where we were standing) I was wondering why Grant wasn’t even covering up his hard-on.

“Hey Konnor man, this is my new buddy Christian. Not sure if you’ve met him yet.” Grant said as he walked over and gripped Konnor in a bro hug (fully naked and still hard, mind you.)

Now I was hanging about half-hard at this time standing by my locker when Konnor came over and bro-hugged me too.

“Nice to meet you Christian, I think I’ve seen you around.” He said, giving me the eye up and down. FUCK. This dude was checking me out TOO.

“You can call me Chris man, yeah I’ve seen you around. Definitely. You’re jacked as fuck man!”

“Thanks dude, you’re not exactly small yourself over here.” Konnor said as he looked me up and down, making sure I saw him looking at my cock. Game on. My cock twitched.

“Konnor buddy we were just about to hit up the shower back here, you in?” Grant said with the biggest child-like smile on, again.

Side note: For those of you that don’t know, my gym has a room with about 12 gang showers near the steam room and sauna, and back by the lockers there is a single shower room equipped with 2 shower heads.

“Dude, do you even have to ask?” Konnor said with a wink as he ripped of his tank. This guy was SHREDDED. I had to physically shut my mouth so I wouldn’t start drooling.

Walking back to the shower room, Grant kissed my neck (sending shivers down my spine) and whispered in my ear “looks like you came on the right night, my friend.”

“Dude I guess so.”

Just then Konnor stepped into the shower room and shut the curtain. This dude was HARD. Both his cock and his body. He stood 7” at attention and THICK. Apparently he knew what was about to happen.

I dropped to my knees and wasting no time, took all of his ripped shredded cock in my mouth.

Konnor looked at Grant and managed to let out (between moans) “Fuck I think I like this guy” with a wink (what can I say, apparently I can add sucking dick to my list of “special skills.”)

Grant piped up “Told you man.” As he walked over and started kissing Konnor’s neck and rubbing his nipples as I went to town on his cock.

I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was happening. Did my life just become a living porn video? This is the type of shit that seemed to only ever happen in my dreams.

It was just then I noticed Grant applying a generous amount of soap to Konnor’s asshole, and his cock at the same time.

He is NOT going to do what I think he’s going to do is he? There is NO way.

Just then Konnor spread his ass open and Grant plunged all of his 6.5” into Konnor’s jock ass.

Well fuck I guess it was happening. I was literally sucking the dick of this dude while Grant was throttling his muscle ass. OH. MY. GOD.

“Are you sure this is ok?” I said while coming up for air after bobbing on Konnor’s cock.

“Dude this isn’t our first rodeo, we just have to be suuuuuuuper quiet.” Konnor said in between soft moans and grunts. And Grant looked at me with fire blazing in his eyes and a giant smile and said “Are you gonna come fuck this ass or not?”


Well, who am I to turn down a proper invitation? I ran over and soaped up my cock and made sure to grab enough to rub into Grant’s asshole. I knew myself that this was going to be a challenge, because I felt how tight Grant’s asshole was earlier in the steam room. My 8” long and THICK cock wasn’t going anywhere without some…persuasion.

While Grant was going to town fucking Konnor (I was amazed how quiet they were able to keep it. I walked over behind Grant and stuck in two fingers and started soaping up his tight asshole. He let out a long moan, and I knew it was time.

I stuck the head of my cock (tagged/me if you want to see) and about 2 inches when Grant started whimpering. This dude was TIGHT. Tighter than any girl I’ve ever stuck it in before. I was having a hell of a time trying to get my dick in this dude’s ass. (To his credit, most girls just usually yell at me to stop at that point. He encouraged me to keep shoving.)

“Dude, FUCK. ME.” Grant commanded.

“Easier said than done man. You’re so fucking tight it’s almost impossible.”

“Not the first time I’ve heard that before” he said in between grunts.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck dude I’m cumming. DUDE. I’M. FUCKING. CUMMING.” I hear Konnor moan as I looked up and saw the stud shoot one of the whitest, creamiest loads across the shower room and SPLATTER the wall. This fucker could have painted the wall white.

Just then Konnor stepped around and lip-locked Grant in one of the hottest dude-on-dude kisses I have seen to this day.

It must have been seeing then kiss, but at that point I decided fuck this “being gentle” thing and I pushed my fat cock in AS FAR as it could POSSIBLY go. Grant yelled “FUCK DUDE. OW. SON OF A BITCH.”

“Dude, this isn’t even halfway in. Are you sure this is gonna work?”

“Fuck it man, we can’t take that much time in here without looking suspicious. Let’s raincheck. But I PROMISE you, that dick WILL make it in my ass one day.”

“Sounds good to me man.” Grant said as he shoved me on the bench that was in the shower.

Grant bent over and took my throbbing cock balls-deep once again. This dude could suck dick. Just as I looked up, I saw Konnor put his finger to his lips, spit on his dick and bury his cock in Grant.

He laughed and said “Thanks for warming him up for me dude”

“Don’t mention it, I moaned out in ecstasy.”

I could feel the cum pumping up my dick. I told Grant, and wanting me to enjoy it, he chilled for a second. I enjoyed watching Grant and Konnor fucking like rabbits underneath the shower for a few minutes when I heard Konnor say “gonna cum man, gonna cum.” And Grant looked at him and said “Cum on Chris’s face.”

I willfully dropped to my knees and let that stud drop his load all over my face. Licking every last drop up. Seeing this must have sent Grant over the edge as well, because before I knew it, he pushed Konnor to his knees and dropped his GIANT load all over his face as well.

“Dude. Not gonna lie. This is THE single hottest think I’ve ever been involved in.” I said, smiling from ear to ear as I looked at these two studs glistening under the water.

“You think we are done with you, huh Chris?” Konnor said, laughing.

“I didn’t see you drop a load, and that’s NOT acceptable.” Grant said.

“You may think I suck dick good, but you should see this guy working a dick” Grant said, laughing as he slapped Konnor’s 6-pack.

Just then I had the bronze Adonis kneeling before me sucking worshipping each of my balls.

“Fuck dude, after seeing that, I’m NOT gonna last long.” I managed to let out between moans as Grant licked from the base of my cock to the head. All 8”. This dude knew how to work a cock. Seriously. He throated me with ease.

“Let me know when you’re gonna shoot man, I wanna savor EVERY drop.” Konnor said, coming up for air.

At this point Grant was rinsing off under the main shower watching us like a kid in a candy store. Fuck. I can imagine how hot it must have been to watch.

“Will do man, not far off. That’s for sure.”

Konnor was sucking my dick like a fucking Dyson. Seriously. Grant still holds the title of the best blowjob I’ve ever received, but hey I’m equal opportunity.

“Fuck dude, it’s coming. It’s coming. I’M COMING.” I said. And I felt the floor leave from underneath me. I was SHAKING. Fucking SHAKING. (if this is what an orgasm for a girl feels like then HOLY FUCK, I can now appreciate it even more.) He was cupping my balls as I was pumping my hot seed down his throat.

Still in a state of euphoric bliss, Konnor gave me a tongue-down throat kiss and let me taste load number 3 that had been dropped that day. (In an HOUR AND 20 MINUTES, FYI.)

We all rinsed off under the shower, for about 5 minutes and said our goodbyes.

“Not gonna lie guys, I don’t think I’ll EVER forget that. EVER.”

“That’s the point man, that’s the point. Looking forward to seeing you again.” Konnor said with a wink.

And just like that both their muscle asses walked out of the shower, leaving me (still shaking from the 3 earth shattering orgasms I had received) to finish rinsing off and composing myself.

Definitely looking forward to meeting up with these studs again, away from the gym.


So, there you have it. I basically lived a PornHub video. I am still in awe to this day that this happened.


What do you think guys? Let me know your thoughts via message or whatever.
Likes, reblogs, and submissions of you are ALWASYS appreciated.


Until next time Guys. ;)

-C

So the Hot Topic rant saga has finished.

I’ve been stressing out and checking the tracking all the time so I can catch when the package was out for delivery. Went out for groceries yesterday and what’s sitting at the door when I get home? Yep. My Hot Topic order. 

The address on it was still missing the unit number for my house so how did it get to me? did I do all that worrying for no reason? turns out the only reason it actually got to the door is because I have so much stuff delivered already. Between online shopping and supplies for my business stuff I get A LOT delivered. I’m friends with pretty much every shipping company delivery person lol. Since this package was being delivered by Canada Post and I’ve had packages dropped off almost everyday for the past two weeks the delivery guy knew my name. So he didn’t even need to know the unit number. He’s even dropped off neighbours packages at my door before because he just saw the main address number and assumed it was for me again lol

so thank hell that I order so much and every postal person knows my address because otherwise I probably would not have gotten it and would then have had to deal with getting a refund from hot topic. I knew my online overspending would come in handy one day.

Judy’s encounter with Finnick. What Happened?

After Judy has the epiphany about the nighthowler case on her farm, she drives back to Zootopia to look for Nick. Instead she finds Finnick. What happened during their conversation after he opened his van door?

*Quick note: I saw this head canon on a post once and decided to write my own version of it. It’s my first fanfic so yeah. idk whatever~*

**All rights are owned by Disney**


 Almost in a panic, Judy Hopps was frantically driving down the back streets of Downtown looking left and right for Nick. It had been hours since she arrived in Zootopia and looked in every place she could think of. She needed to find him, fast. She knew that she was taking a leap of faith looking for him knowing there was a 99% chance he wouldn’t forgive her, let alone help her with her new found discovery about the attacks, but she was willing to risk it. What she had done after the whole PR debacle all those months ago, had not only severed her developing friendship with Nick, but created fear and chaos in the city that rapidly worsened since she left. While she continued in her internal self loathing, her ears perk up and she comes to a sudden stop when she spots the back of a familiar red van parked in an ally way. She parks her family’s truck and jumps out of the passenger seat and slams the door. Judy hastily makes her way to Finnick’s van, hoping to find that Nick is with him. With her ears pressed to her back she knocks a few times praying someone, anyone, will open the door.

Finnick, being a small mammal and living basically on the streets in his van, his most valued possession he might add, is always on alert with being a hustler and all. You never know who’s lurking around for god knows whatever reason. He can hold his own, but he always keeps a baseball bat handy. Just in case. He hears footsteps coming to his van. He definitely wasn’t expecting Nick since he wanted to take a “personal day” which he knew was code for sulking over that freakin’ bunny cop. Nick hardly talked about her, but when he did he’d get pretty depressed over it. Finnick was pretty sure he was in love with that bunny, with the way Nick would go on about her when he did talk about the situation between them…. He was suddenly brought back from his thoughts when a few solid knocks are heard rasping on one the back doors, his face turns into a snarl, which wasn’t that hard to achieve since that’s how he normally looks. He grabs his bat, and quickly opens the door shouting, “WHO IS IT?”

It never ceased to amaze her that a mammal much smaller than Judy herself could bellow out such a low monotone voice. It was almost comical. But his voice was so fierce and intimidating at that very moment that it startled her, especially with the sight of him holding a bat and an angry look on his face. Regardless, she quickly darted her eyes behind the small fox to see if Nick was inside and to her dismay there was no sign of him. The bunny went on in a desperate voice, “I need to find Nick, please.”

This surprised Finnick, as Judy was the last mammal he was expecting to see standing outside the back of his van. “How the hell did she find me and why was she looking for Nick?” he thought. She was clasping her hands together, pleading with those big violet eyes. With this, Finnick sighed and threw his bat down to his side in the van. He crossed his arms and gave Judy a bored looking smirk and simply asked with one word, “Why?”

“Finnick, please it’s important.” She said, “I have to find him, it’s an emergency. It has to do with the attacks here in Zootopia.”

Knowing what she was talking about his ears perked up slightly. The small fox was willing to tell her where Nick usually spent his free time and where she would most likely be able to find him, but not just yet. He wanted to give her a hard time, “You’ve got some nerve coming here, rabbit.”

Judy sighed, “Look, I know what I did was wrong and it was completely ignorant of me to label all predators as potentially dangerous. And the fact that I’m coming back three months later to find him and apologize only makes it even worse!” She continued, “I was a horrible friend and completely insensitive to how he might feel to all of it, but I need his help more than ever.”

Yeah it sure was a load of bull coming back three months late he thought. Finnick said, “Ok, fine I’ll tell you where he is, but you should know the crap I’ve had to deal with since you guys had that fight,” he went on, “After that stunt you pulled he was a fuckin’ mess. Especially since you never came to apologize. The shit I’ve had to deal with, with that kid.” Finnick said while shaking his disproportioned head and he continued, “He got real depressed and has been holding onto that freakin’ carrot pen. It’s even affecting our business.”

Judy was stunned. She knew she had really messed up, but not to the extent that Finnick had explained to her. Then she realized something he said to her in the middle of her thoughts. “Wait he kept my pen?”

Annoyed, Finnick replied, “Uhhh… yeah. He won’t throw that stupid thing away.”

That completely took her by surprise, and her heartbeat sped up a bit. She hadn’t even realized he left the station with her pen, or that she hadn’t even remembered about it till now. This gave her some hope. “Finnick, I’m so sorry that I put you and Nick through this. Especially Nick. But I really need to know where he is right now! I know why the attacks are happening and why predators are going savage, and I need to figure out how to stop it.” She quipped, “And like I said, I can’t do it without Nick.”

Defeated, Finnick finally felt bad enough for the bunny to give up his location. “Alright, There’s a bridge he hangs out by on the outskirts of the city. It’s near a large abandoned warehouse.” He said. He gave her the rest of the directions and with that Judy thanked Finnick and rushed back to the car and sped off to find him.

“That bunny is gonna be the death of him.” Finick said as he shut the van door behind him.

 @crewefox @helthehatter @emma89uk @trashasaurusrex

Barry when...

You’ve been dating for 2 years

If it had been up for him, Barry would have asked you to marry him the minute he saw you. Though he knew that freaked most women out, so he didn’t do that. Maybe if it had been someone else, he could have asked after a year, but Barry knew you needed to go slow (something he was OK with), but now he couldn’t wait any longer It had been 2 beautiful years, still – to be 100% sure, he needed to talk to Cisco first: your best friend from kindergarten. 


A/N: So because I have the rest of this week off, I thought to maybe post something every day? I’ll try to maybe make something else than Barry when…s and Grant Gustin interviews, but I can’t promise anything! 

anonymous asked:

Woah i just saw ur post about ihatejunkrat being shitty and like, i knew they were annoying but?? I didnt know they were ACTUALLY bad, holy shit. do u have any screenshots/receipts?

FUCK I could i just need to find them

@ mutuals if you got links to when they pulled the imagoodperson shit w/ spencer recently that’s like the best example

the rest of the stuff is pretty old (twisting some ESL person’s words must have been like 5 months ago)

in between they’ve just like Constantly tried to contact all of us and love cracking jokes about violently killing junkrat and how it’s ableist for us to like junkrat because he’s bad representation or whatever

So, @martinez-sim made this amazing edit of the base game strapless bathing suit and as soon as I saw it I knew I needed it in every color and pattern ever. I don’t know why but I am obsessed with this bathing suit. I was not going to include the mesh, but she has since removed the post, but has given me permission to release these recolors. There are some solids for @nicole-simsessed (if you want anything specific let me know! I’ll do more) ! this goes out to @deelitefulsimmer for teaching me how to recolor, testing these out and dealing with all my annoying questions and @whatsitlikeinsimcity for messaging me that she wants these! :) 

Download: Here

So, I just recently started watching The Walking Dead and I already knew so much about the show just from years of seeing posts on tumblr. But I never really felt the need to watch it until about two weeks ago. And I had heard so much about Beth and Daryl that I just assumed that Carol was Beth at the very beginning before I knew who everyone was and let me tell you the second I saw that part in season one where Daryl handed Carol the axe to stab Ed with and then watched in a confused but concerned way, I thought “hmm that pairing would be real interesting” and then season two came and, guys, I boarded the Caryl ship so fucking fast. And every tiny Caryl moments throughout the season I rewatch because every moment is precious and I love them so much and “Consumed” was EVERYTHING, just EVERYTHING.

 Now, I’ve only watched up through 5x09 so far, but, because I’m trash, I’ve been looking at the Caryl tag every day and I’m seeing all these spoilers for 7x10 and, guys, I am so ALIVE omg. But I can’t watch it when it comes on because I’m so far behind and I don’t have time to watch because I’m in grad school and I hate everything, BUT SWEET JESUS I WAS NOT PREPARED TO BECOME SO INVESTED IN THIS GODDAMN SHIP. I haven’t felt this way since Ichabbie (and we ALL know how that turned out..) Please, Lord do not let Caryl end up like Ichabbie, my heart couldn’t handle it. But it’s weird that I didn’t want to watch TWD until recently, until it seems like Caryl is this close to happening. I don’t know guys, but this is enough to make me believe in destiny. 

(Side note, I already knew that Richonne happens, but let me tell you, the second Michonne, Rick and Carl went on that run together in season 3 I shipped the whole goddamn family and I am so happy tptb gave us this.) 

Bodhi Rook is an adorable dorky pilot and I knew he was going to be my favourite character from the very first moment I saw him on screen. Because he needs to be protected at all costs. But he was so brave in the end and I cried AND HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE AND ALL THE HUGS

I mean look at him:

Originally posted by bbgirlravenclaw

anonymous asked:

Vernon's mom talked about your blog on her Facebook page tonight 😁

asdfghjklslsg >___< i’m like so… shocked?? k i feel like this needs an explanation LMAO. so i knew of her fb page but didn’t give it much attention tbh bc it’s like… not right in my honest opinion lol. i thought at first that maybe she didn’t even realize that her profile was publicly viewable so idk i just felt super uncomfortable and just like… forgot about it lol. but i recently saw screenshots flying around on twitter and stuff of users sending her fanart, translations and other things and she was actually posting them onto her fb and thanking carats for sending them in! so i guess that means she’s aware of carats who are following her on fb and is cool with it?? so i kinda got confident for a sec LMFAO and msgd her w/ some of my own fanart and told her about this blog incase she wanted to stay caught up with her son’s activities… and…. i did not think she would actually poST IT??? but she did… *cries* LOL. so yeah, thats the story. also please don’t ask me to link you to her fb page or anything cuz i will not be doing that. i hope you understand~^^

anonymous asked:

You think Red was saying goodbye somehow with that gift for Agnes? And the part of the song playing was "I foresee this ending in a shower of flame", right? I mean he's not going to actually die but in a few weeks we know he's gonna get very close to it... I wonder if he already knew something...

Hey there’s nothing like a little near death experience to put things in perspective right? Change that perception a little so I’m sorry Red it has to be you again this time buddy but we are definitely in need of a good dose of CLARITY.

Time for Lizzy to realize Red is worth fighting for and some kindness wouldn’t hurt. We saw a glimpse of this in 4.13 but consistency isn’t Ms Keen’s thing so let’s see that from now on ok.

Time for the Post Office gang to stop ganging up on Red and remember the good work they’ve done, the lives they’ve saved. Yeah Red has his own agenda but sometimes and a good deal of the time that agenda is for the greater good. So maybe slow your roll Coop and Ressler.

Speaking of Ressler….time for a remembrance of times past and another near death experience. Namely his. He’d have died in a pool of his own blood had it not been for Red saving his life in the box so Donald please….clarity.

So yeah the foreshadowing is pretty damn blatant from Red’s growing agitation as the threat grows to the song that played when he handed over the gift. Do I necessarily think he was saying goodbye with the gift? Not entirely. Red likes to give meaningful gifts, made or restored by his own hand. Something to be kept and hopefully treasured. He loves Agnes and perhaps he pictures her laughing when the birds come out to chirp. He’s only seen Agnes once since she left his safe house and that’s technically only because he broke into the unmarried Keen’s apartment. He knows he’s not a consistent part of her life (yet) and so I think the clock was a way to express his feelings and give her a gift that comes from the heart. I just don’t like viewing the gift as a goodbye since Red is such a fighter. It ain’t over till it’s over and it ain’t over yet. He’s like us in a lot of ways. Always hopeful for better days ahead with Lizzy and now Agnes.

So I wanted to take a few screencaps from the final scene in TFA. I found the place where Rey climbs up the hill, pressed play and… ended up watching until the end without realizing I wanted to pause the movie at some point.

Listen, the scene isn’t so captivating because Luke is seeing his old lightsaber for the first time in decades, or because he’s meeting some random Jedi girl he sort of knew when he had an academy, or because of any other convoluted reason.

“He doesn’t need to ask her who she is, or what she is doing here. His look says it all.”

(that’s before she pulls out the lightsaber btw)

She’s his daughter. Nothing else makes sense for Luke and Rey as characters. I’m writing this partly because I saw a post belittling people saying that Rey is a Skywalker, insisting she is a Kenobi and being pretty mean about it - how dare people suggest that the new protagonist in the saga about the Skywalkers is probably a Skywalker! Rey being related to Obi-wan does absolutely nothing for her or Luke character-wise. All it does is fulfill some kind of Obi-wan-centric fantasy, that of course ignores his entire personality. I just…why?!

Anyway, I’m going back to making another Luke/Rey photoset. Sorry for the rant.

anonymous asked:

im just wondering what cc you used for the cole sprouse sims you made (specifically the moles bc i cant seem to find them anywhere ;o;)

Hello!! <3

The moles and the classic cole eyebags where made by me in photoshop. (if I ever learn how to do CC though I will try and make them) I had to edit him a little in PS since I’m terrible at making look alike sims. But I saw the new Anto hair and knew I needed to make him.

Hair is by Anto
Extra eye bags by Tamo
Original moles are by Ms Blue (although I did edit them out and made my own)
Blush by Chisami
Skin by Mohkii
Cigarette by One Billion Pixels
Nails by Praline Sims
Shirt by Pinkzombiecupcakes
Pants by Sims2fanblog
Shoes by Theyoungenzo
Eyes by Alf-Si
Brows (I kinda forget which brows I used but for now lets say these)
Lashes by Kijiko

Okay so I recently saw this post that talked about a world where everyone knew their soulmate’s name from birth so here’s what I think some WOF dragon’s reactions would be to the names

Winter: Moonwatcher? MOONWATCHER?! THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FREAKING NIGHTWINGS NAME WTF I DEMAND A NEW SOULMATE 

Moon: Winter? That’s a pretty name. Sounds like an Icewing though….How will I ever find him?!

Qibli: Uh….what is this. WHAT IS THIS?! I HAVE…LIKE…3 DIFFERENT SOULMATES?! Moonwatcher, Winter, and Umber…THEY ALL SOUND HOT

Umber: Qibli. Three moons that name sounds amazing and i need to find this dragon now

Turtle: A Rainwing? Seriously? Kinka…Kinkayoo…no…Kinkajoo….wait hold on I got this

Kinkajou: Turtle! Turtle Turtle Turtle! Oooo I can’t wait to meet him!

Clay: Peril? Sound kind of dangerous. Should I be worried

Starflight: Fatespeaker? Why not Sunny? I like Sunny. I really like Sunny. How about I just go with Sunny

Tsunami: Riptide sounds like a FREAKING BADASS NAME THREE MOONS YES BRING IT

Glory: I could live with a dragon named Deathbringer. He sounds cool. Deathbringer. Yep. Wait isn’t that a Nightwing name

Sunny: ….#forever alone