How fictional characters handle break-ups

However a relationship ends, it’s almost always painful. Methods for processing that pain vary. I encourage anyone going through a tough time to consult this list of strategies so they can learn from the best and brightest that fiction has to offer (massive spoilers follow):

  • Angel: Move to LA, frown for five years
  • Solid Snake: Ride a snowbike into the sunset with Otacon (yes, untimely death counts as “ending a relationship”)
  • Dexter Morgan: Drive a speedboat into a hurricane, become a lumberjack
  • Steve Taylor: Get drunk, pretend a vase is a trumpet
  • Jane Christie: Refuse to accept it, bring up “Crippin”
  • Nathan Drake: Shoot people, steal stuff, make wisecracks
  • Agent Six of Hearts: Pretend to be fine, rip the head off a zombie, use it to bludgeon another zombie
  • Shane Schofield: Pretend to be a submarine
  • Walter White: Throw pizza onto roof
  • Kratos: Go on rampage, murder half a dozen gods
  • Jack Bauer: Get addicted to heroin, decapitate FBI witness
  • Bill Compton: Bury your ex’s new lover in wet cement
  • Booker Dewitt: Get drunk, sell daughter to parallel universe-version of self
  • Rose Tyler: Leave boyfriend in parallel universe to battle cyborgs
  • Malcolm Reynolds: Try to steal historic laser gun with ex
  • Martin Hart: Have a fistfight in a parking lot, go bald
  • Sarah Connor: Jump eight years into the future with son and his robot girlfriend
  • Khaleesi: Walk into fire with eggs, walk out with dragons
  • Lawrence Gordon: Cut off all ties with mistress (and own foot)

(image by Ban Estrada, source: licensed under: