so I played a match today, I was mercy and the other teams genji started coming at me, so in a weird attempt to save myself I waved hello, expecting him to slaughter me. he did not. he waved back and left me alone. then later in the game we ran into each other again and we spent a minute emoting back and forth while our teams ravaged each other on the background
Request:Anonymous- 11, can’t help but think of Jefferson XD
11. “I love you.” “You have excellent taste.”
Warnings:gets a lil sexy
The fire was crackling, indie music was playing softly, you had a mug of earl grey tea, and you had a collection of classic poetry that you’d read at least a thousand times spread open across your lap- the best way to enjoy rain. It had started storming around three in the morning and you’d been up since then.
This was your favorite kind of weather. It just put you at ease, which Thomas thought was weird, but he had learned it was better to just let it go. He had insisted after the first few times that you not wake him up “in the unholy hours of the morning” for storms, though. You thought that was weird. Mornings were amazing. Everything was so peaceful and calm, and there were few things more beautiful than a sunrise. But, this morning you had decided to cut him slack, only because he had gotten in late last night.
It took a few minutes before you realized that you had been staring out the window instead of reading. The raindrops trickling down the window were just so mesmerizing. They never fell straight down, but took their time and wandered, sometimes colliding with others, sometimes carrying on by themselves. They never did the same thing, always moved at their own speed, in their own way. They reminded you of people. As someone who much prefered observing people over interacting with them, it was difficult to ignore the similarities.
You grew focused on a new drop as it started down in a near-perfectly straight line until it merged with another add began to zag across the window, you realized that since you had met Thomas, your life had never ceased to be interesting. He was always taking you here or there to see this or that. Life had become longer, but not because it was boring. You didn’t think that Thomas was capable of being anything close to it. It was because it seemed like you had something to look forward to every day, something that could never happen soon enough. He had given you the life you had always dreamed of. Once you had merged with him, life had grown from following the straight-and-narrow to constant, exciting changes. You couldn’t help but laugh quietly at yourself. Thomas always said that you got to be poetic in this kind of weather.
“What’s so funny?” he asked from behind you. You hadn’t even heard him come down the stairs.
“Just that you’re right,” you tilted your head back on the armrest to look up at him.
“I mean, that goes without saying,” he smirked and pecked a quick kiss to your lips. “How long have you been up, dork?”
You turned around, giving Thomas room to sit. “Only six hours. I thought you’d sleep longer. I know how much you need your beauty rest.”
“Are you calling me ugly?” he gasped, his hand to his chest in mocked hurt as he sat anyway. You set your mug on the side table and curled into his side, careful to not lose your spot in your book.
“Just hideous. Maybe even beastly,” you said. “Which would make you the beast, and every beast needs his beauty. Which is me, of course. Unless you’re having an affair that you’ve managed to keep hidden from everyone. In which case, I may have some competition.”
“Even if I were having an affair, you wouldn’t have any competition. You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot of people,” he kissed the top of your head.
“Are you sure? You and Jemmy have always been close,” you teased. “Maybe I’m your cover so that you can go about your relationship with a fellow politician without the press getting in your business. I’m sure that happens all the time. Why shouldn’t you use that method?”
Thomas only sighed and pulled you closer. The two of you sat in perfectly comfortable silence for a while. You went back to watching raindrops on the window while he watched the fire. This morning only kept getting better.
Thomas snapped out of his daze faster than you did. “Will you read for me?” he whispered, trying not to startle you.
“Which one?” you titled the book in his direction so that he could see a little better. He never put contacts on in the morning and always forgot about his glasses.
Thomas flipped through a few a few pages before he found what he was looking for. He tapped on the poem he wanted. You were a bit confused.
“This one?” you glanced up at him. “You have it completely memorized. Why do you need me to read it for you? What about a different one?”
You were already starting to turn the page.
“I like it when you read it. Please,” he kissed your forehead.
You nodded and cleared your throat before you began. “‘Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, thus much let me avow- You are not wrong, who deem that my days have been a dream-’”
Thomas kissed your jaw, which caused your voice to break.
“Don’t let me interrupt,” he murmured against your skin. “Continue.”
“‘Y-yet if hope has flown away in a night, or in a day, in a vision, or in none, is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream,’” you stuttered as Thomas kissed your neck, nipping gently.
“Please, don’t stop because of me,” he said. You could feel him smirking.
“It’s just- just kind of hard with you-” you shook your head and kept reading. “‘I stand amid the roar of a surf-tormented shore, and I hold within my hand grains of the golden sand. How few! Yet how they creep through my fingers to the deep, while I weep, while I weep! O God!’”
You moaned when Thomas slid his hand underneath your panties and started rubbing your clit.
“Not enough emotion. You can do better,” he said, his voice almost a growl. “I want to really feel the anguish the next time around.”
You nodded quickly. “‘Can I not grasp them with a tighter clasp? O God!’”
Thomas thrust two fingers into your slit. “Good. Almost done, love,” he nipped at your jaw. Why was he like this?
“‘Can I not save one from the pitiless wave? Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?’” you gasped between breathy moans, dropping the book as he moved his fingers in and out. “I- I-love you-”
“You have excellent taste,” he grinned. You scoffed and slapped his arm away.
“I hate you! Jesus-” you ran a hand through your hair. “Go- clean up and maybe I’ll let you come back in here.”
Thomas mock-saluted you and got up to go to the bathroom. The storm had picked up some while you were reading, so you hadn’t noticed. You curled up, immediately transfixed with the raindrops again. The wind rustled the branches of the trees in the lawn and it wasn’t long before you were smiling. Your smile was probably the only reason Thomas felt it was safe for him to sit back down with you.
“Just to be clear, I’m still mad at you,” you grumbled and curled back up into his side, trying not to take your eyes off the window.
“It doesn’t really feel like morning, does it?” Thomas rubbed circles into your side absentmindedly as he followed your gaze. “It’s so gloomy.”
You shrugged, too distracted and suddenly exhausted to respond. Thomas rested his head on yours. He didn’t push for a response like usual. Between the sounds from the storm, fire, and music, you were both out within a few minutes.
“And you know what? Lindsay and I… We made an extra life.”
No, I totally didn’t cry over this announcement, and no I totally haven’t been obsessing over it, unable to stop thinking about how Michael must be scared of losing their baby and how absolutely excited and in love he is with his child already and how Lindsay is so happy and how they are going to be the cutest parents to ever parent and how happy I am to watch them grow over the years.
Summary: This is Inspired byLin’s adorable tweet about him messing around on tinder. Lin gets chatting to you via Tinder while logged onto his friend’s account and fluff ensues. After messaging him for a couple of days he decides it’s time to meet.
Warnings: Nothing but fluff with some hints of angst. Oh and I swear more than I realize.
It was 1.30am when you got to the 24 hour diner after Lin had texted you directions. You stopped just outside the door. Inside you could see the back of what might be Lin’s head and you hesitated. What were you doing here? Catching a cab in the early hours of Christmas eve morning to meet a stranger you’d sent messages to for 2 days? This wasn’t like you. You weren’t impulsive and brave. You were cautious and shy. You were the kind of person in bed by 10pm (when you weren’t plagued with insomnia), you were the kind of person who flossed daily, and flaked out on plans to stay home and write. And you were also the kind of person to be in a long term relationship with the love of your life only to be dumped at a moment’s notice for someone else. Ok so maybe this wasn’t your usual behavior, but maybe it should be.
The instant warmth of the diner brought a flush to your cheeks as you headed inside, and approached Lin, who was nervously scrolling through his phone.
“Hi!” you said, far too brightly, trying to appear confident, as though this was the kind of thing you did all the time. Lin instantly turned his head, a warm smile spreading across his face.
“Hey you came!”
He stood up to meet you, absentmindedly flattening down his hair, grinning.
You almost reached out to shake his hand before realizing how utterly formal and ridiculous that would be. You were suddenly very aware of your posture, your arms, the way you were standing, and you weirdly felt clunky and awkward and self conscious. Luckily Lin didn’t seem struck with the same sense of awkwardness as you, and he leaned in to hug you, kissing you quickly on the cheek. His soft navy blue jumper smelled faintly of christmas cookies.
You sat down in the booth opposite him and removed your scarf and gloves, as you frantically wished your nerves away. He smiled, looking down at his cup, and biting his lip, then bringing his eyes back up to meet yours. The way he looked at you… You felt a shiver run down your spine. Could you just skip the getting to know you conversations and move straight to biting his lip for him?
“Hey so I’ve got something for you!” Lin said brightly, placing a brown paper bag in front of you, grinning.
You hesitantly peered inside and then laughed.
“You actually brought me empanadas?”
“Of course! I didn’t want to lure you out after midnight with the promise of empanadas and then not actually provide empanadas. I’m not a monster!” He took a sip of his coffee and peered at your over the cup.
“Well thank you, you are so sweet! I mean, this is sweet… ” you said, cringing at the words as they tumbled out of your mouth.
“Ok, I’m sorry” you said laughing. “I’ve gonna be straight up and just admit I am the worst at flirting. I don’t usually do this” you said while gesturing at him.
Lin laughed. “Ok well this” he said, mirroring your gesture, “is just coffee. It’s just coffee, in the early hours of a morning with a total stranger who hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you. But seriously, it’s just coffee, it doesn’t have to mean anything bad.”
As if by magic, the lone waitress appeared at your table, placing a cup of coffee in front of you, and re-filling Lin’s empty cup without a word. There was a silent understanding that anyone entering the diner at 1.30am on christmas eve must be in need of coffee. She left you both to it and you clutched the cup in front of you, grateful to have something to fidget with.
“Is this weird?” You asked.
Sending texts off into the ether and having a crush on someone from the safety of your own home was fine enough, but the reality of the situation had begun so settle.
“I mean, is it weird, meeting like this so quickly? You don’t know me, and I don’t know you.”
Lin sensed your unease and leaned forward, his eyes soft and reassuring.
“Hey I just really liked talking to you, there’s no pressure ok? I know my constant barrage of texts today might have felt a bit too much.”
“Are you kidding? I felt like I was annoying you with all my messages!”
He leaned back and grinned
“Ok good! So we’re both around the same level of annoyingness. That’s good to know. But honestly, it doesn’t feel weird.” He said, shrugging. “I couldn’t sleep, you couldn’t sleep, you’ve inadvertently spoiled Gilmore Girls for me, what else were we gonna do?”
You laughed, watching him get animated and gesturing wildly about Gilmore Girls at 1.30am was positively endearing.
“Also you sounded sad, I was worried. I really just wanted to see you.” He said, his fingers circling the top of his coffee mug.
“Wait, so you mean this isn’t just a sleazy tinder hook up?”
Lin winced, “Sleazy? Well technically we aren’t on tinder anymore, and what’s so sleazy about it if we were?” And there he went, biting his lip again. You couldn’t tell if it was a nervous habit or if he subliminally knew that watching him bite his lip stirred deep flickering waves in your stomach.
You stared at him, studying his face. His whole face, not just his lips this time.
“Ok I gotta ask because this is really bugging me now, where do I know you from? Did you go to Palmer’s High?”
He smiled awkwardly and looked down at his coffee.
“Sorry, not me.”
“Is it the Union library, did you used to work weekends?”
He shook his head looking embarrassed and cleared his throat.
“I’m Lin-Manuel Miranda” He said, squirming in his seat, his eyes still staring at his coffee cup before looking up at you expectantly.
You mouthed the name to yourself, testing the words out on your tongue, until you stopped in your tracks. You stared at him, blinking incredulously.
“Fuck off!” you exclaimed without thinking, before covering your mouth with your hand.
”Sorry, sorry sorry! I didn’t mean that! It’s just… oh god I feel like an idiot!” You took a breath and looked at him again.
“Well… ok then…hello Lin-Manuel Miranda!”
“Hi!” Lin smiled sheepishly. “And you don’t have to say the full name each time by the way.”
You laughed, shaking your head as your evening elevated to new surreal heights.
“You know you really should have prepared me for this in one of your many messages today” you said.
Lin leaned back “You didn’t seem to recognize me from my name or any photos I sent and honestly that was just kind of nice so I guess, yeah I didn’t say anything. Anyway, shall we move on?”
You nodded, smiling.
And you did move on.
You talked about break ups, about writing,about families, about the first single you ever bought.
“Roxanne Shante? No way! ” Lin exclaimed in surprise, clutching his hands to his chest.
“What can I say, I had a ridiculously cooler older brother who used to take my to this second hand vinyl store and practically forced records into my hands.”
“Ok well, let’s hear it for cooler older siblings everywhere” Lin chuckled while raising his coffee mug in the air. You smiled and joined him, clinking your mug with hi.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Lin’s voice dropped an octave and he placed his hands on the table looking deadly serious.
“Can we please geek out about Roxanne’s beef with KRS-One?”
You shook your head and laughed.
“Oh no, you best not be dragging Roxanne?” You said, pursing your lips in mock rage.
“What?” No way!” Lin practically spluttered. “Roxanne’s Revenge is UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!”
You turned your head to see the waitress tutting, peering over the counter and rolling her eyes at the overexcitable pottymouth Lin. You looked back at Lin who giggled like a naughty kid, flashing you an embarrassed smile.
You talked about favorite places to write (his: while walking his dog, yours: while on the subway), you talked about the paralysis you feel when you experience mindblowing art, and you both talked about the frustrations of having obsessive personalities, of not knowing what it’s like to just like something a normal amount.
“So you’re telling me that there’s this painting, sorry, not just a painting,this life altering painting that means the world to you. In fact it means so much to you that someday you want to write a book about it. But you’ve never actually even seen it in person, never got to look at it up close??”
You nodded as Lin shook his head, staring at you in disbelief.
“Well for a start the painting is permanently housed in Barcelona,” you explained “ it’s never exhibited outside of Europe, and I’m not exactly made of money. But I’ll see it one day.” You said wistfully before catching yourself, feeling embarrassed.
“Sorry, I swear I don’t usually just ramble on about art for 20 minutes at a total stranger.”
“Are you kidding, you’ve just listened to me talk about the intricacies of Sondheim for way longer than is considered polite. I live for this stuff, this is the kind of thing that keeps me up at night. If you can’t be obsessed over things then what’s the point?”
“Well I guess you have kind of made a career out of it” you smiled.
“It’s not about that’” He saved waving his hand, “ It’s about the obsessions. The ideas and things you love that won’t leave you alone. Those are the ideas worth having.”
You smiled nervously, you’d never met anyone who got it. Even Kay had dismissed your love of art as something that was frivolous and pretentious. You barely knew this guy, and he got it.
“You need to see this painting.” Lin said, his face deadly serious. “Honestly, I feel like I need to see this painting now.”
“Promise me you’ll see it.”
“Well not right now, but sure, that’s the plan.“ you said
This didn’t feel like the awkward conversations of first dates you’d remembered. Everything felt familiar, he was easy to talk to, although every now and then you’d catch yourself. You’d find yourself staring longingly at his lips mid-conversation, your stomach fizzing with pangs of excitement, reminding you that you ought to feel nervous. He made you feel nervous and comfortable all at the same time. Was there a word for that?
Until It was 4 am and you realized his hand was resting gently on yours, his thumb softly stroking yours. His touch was so light as he continued to speak. You tried so damned hard to listen to him but his touch made it hard to concentrate. This wasn’t just coffee. Couldn’t you just be kissing him now?
“So I guess the bad news is that I’m going back to London next week. “ He said, sighing while looking down at his thumb, watching it tracing patterns against your skin.
His words shook you out of your haze and you quickly looked up at him.
“We start filming again in the new year and I’m kind of living there at the moment. Hence the jetlag.”
“Oh” You said. Not knowing what to say.
You had no right to feel disappointed. This was just coffee, you didn’t even know what this was, or if you even wanted anything beyond coffee at the moment, that all seemed to heavy and big to deal with. But you also hated the idea of a ticking clock looming large on the horizon.
“So are you saying this is a sleazy tinder hookup?” you laughed nervously.
“No,no,no, I just mean…I just mean I like you. I like talking to you. And I guess I just wanted to be upfront. But I also want to see you again. Unless you don’t want to.”
He looked up at you, biting his goddamn lip again and your words caught in your throat.
“I want to.” you said shakily and he smiled.
“Good” He said grinning.
“Although maybe next time it can be at a more sensible hour.” Your eyelids suddenly feeling very heavy.
Lin stretched out and let out a yawn and groaned.
“I’m supposed to be saying insanely clever and articulate things in an interview in a few hours” He said, looking at his watch and laughing. “I’m gonna pay for this later on. But it was worth it.” His eyes twinkled and the way he looked at you made you blush.
You gathered your scarf and gloves as Lin went to the counter to pay for the endless supply of coffee, dropping in an extra tip by way of an apology for how loud you’d both been. He held the door open for you, placing his hand against the small of your back to guide you out, and you shivered from the cold and his touch.
“Can I see you again? Soon?” He asked eagerly,as you stepped out onto the sidewalk, his eyes pleading.
“I’d really like that.” you breathed, suddenly forgetting how to speak.
The last 3 hours had passed in a whirlwind of surprisingly easy conversation, but now you felt the words stutter at the back of your throat as nerves took over, and shyness seeped through you. You wanted to break the silence, your brain whirred as you tried to think of something to say. Something clever, something funny, something to make him want you. Instead you just blurted: “It’s so cold!”
You shivered and he put his hands on your arms, rubbing them to warm you up.
“Let’s get you warm” he said in a low hushed tone.
He took the scarf you were holding in your hands and looped it around your neck, stepping forward so that his face was just inches away from yours and you could feel his breath as you shivered. He glanced up, his eyes locking with yours, and his mouth hung slightly open as he looked at you longingly. Before you could even think, before you could even speak, before you could even breathe he was pulling the ends of your scarf towards him, pulling your face close until his lips were on yours.
His slips were soft, slow, and longing. His top lip grazed against yours, sending shockwaves across your body. You trembled as he held onto your scarf, his kisses growing more urgent as he pushed against you, pressing your back against the outside wall of the diner. His nose squished softly against your cheek as his lips darted across yours. You trembled and cupped his face with your hands, kissing him hungrily, pushing your hands back in his hair, and his own hands fell down to your waist, gripping you tightly, pulling your body tight against his.
Your hands fell to his shoulders as you both broke away for air. His hands stayed firmly on your waist, and his mouth hung open as he gazed at you You felt drunk from the lack of sleep and from his kisses.
“You know I don’t have to be anywhere for a few hours if you wanted to come back and just…sleep.” He whispered, his lips hovering over yours. You groaned softly.
“As much as I would love to …sleep. I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. I mean I should probably get home and actually sleep in my own bed.”
Lin inhaled deeply and nodded wearily. He leaned forward, gently cupping your cheek. He kissed you quickly, leaving your lips tingling in anticipation, before softly kissing your nose then your forehead. His hands still held your waist, and your skin felt electric, aware of every slight touch.
“You are so very sensible.” He smiled.
“Wait, what the actual fuck?” Melissa screamed in your ear.
“I’m away for 2 weeks and you went on a date with Lin-Manuel Miranda? Are you messing with me?”
You sighed. “For the last time, I’m not messing with you. This all really happened.”
Melissa’s jaw hung open, her eyes were wild as you filled her in on the surreal events of the last 2 weeks. You told her about the accidental catfishing, the many many messages, the first date at 1.30am on Christmas eve, the second date the day after Christmas. And the dates which then followed. Melissa had sat on your couch, open mouthed, struggling to keep up. The absurdity of the entire situation was not lost on you.
From that first kiss at the diner on Christmas eve morning you’d thought of nothing else but kissing him again. As soon as you’d headed back to your apartment to finally sleep, you’d instantly regretted not going back with Lin. You closed your eyes replaying the kiss a thousand times in your head, longing for his lips again, wanting to feel his skin, and daydreaming of his touch. You wondered what it would be like to wake up next to him but then felt foolish, shaking the image from your head, knowing that whatever was happening between you, was bound to end as soon as he headed back to London. You’d laid in bed cursing yourself as your phone vibrated. A sleepy selfie of Lin popped up on your screen with a message:
Lin: Wish you were here zzzzz
Then Christmas day hit and you were alone. You didn’t exactly regret your choice of not visiting your Trump supporting parents for christmas. Their homophobic tendencies meant they had never really approved of Kay in the 5 years you’d been together. They had made it clear in previous years that you weren’t welcome home for the holidays if Kay accompanied you. But now with Kay gone your mom had suddenly reached out to you inviting you back for the holidays as though nothing had ever happened..
So naturally you opted for your first christmas alone, eating froot loops while watching Elf, and spending the rest of the day writing. It was the same as any other day really, although the holidays were naturally designed to make the recently dumped feel lonely. And at least for the last few days you’d had Lin to distract you, but today as Lin was caught up in family duties, you found yourself looking back over old photographs of Kay, brooding over nostalgia. But even without Lin to distract you, you found yourself wallowing less. Sure, it hurt to look back, but you didn’t cry this time, you didn’t feel that heart-wrenching ache that had consumed you for the last few weeks. It was just a dull manageable ache, and you felt reassured that maybe this was a sign that you were moving on. You already felt lighter, less miserable, and you felt nervous anticipation as Lin messaged you that evening asking you on a date the very next day.
“Second date? Please please please tell me you went home with him this time!” Melissa begged, popping the candy she’d brought you as a gift into her mouth, her face rapt with attention.
“Um, not exactly” You said.
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?” Melissa yelled, throwing a piece of candy at you.
“I mean we never made it to his.” You said, throwing the piece of candy back at her. “We never really made it out at all”
“OHHHH.” Melissa said, her mouth falling open.
You’d invited him into your apartment for just a minute before you were due to head out for your official second date. You had dinner reservations, and and a schedule to stick to, and you were already running late as you rummaged around your room for your missing earring.
“Found it! Sorry, that took forever. Ready to go?” You said as you finally emerged from the bedroom.
Lin jumped up from the couch where he’d been patiently waiting,.
He turned to face you, his eyes lingered on your lips, before raising his eyes to meet yours. His mouth hung open and the corners of his lips curled into a smile.
“You are beautiful” he said in a low hushed voice.
The way he breathed as he spoke gave you goosebumps. The way he looked at you now made you feel naked. You swallowed nervously, and then in an instant his mouth was on yours
His kisses this time were quick, deep, and hungry, not the soft slow sleepy kisses from Christmas eve. His lips pressed urgently against yours and you gasped as his hand reached around you, holding you in place at the small of your back, pulling you closer while he kissed you. His other hand cupped the back of your head, his fingers clutching at your hair as his lips rapidly pressed against yours. You gripped his shoulders and his body pressed tightly against you. He broke away from your lips, planting small butterfly kisses across your cheek, down to your ear lobe, and across your neck.
“We’re late, we really should get going” you said in between ragged breaths.
You gasped as he found the spot on your neck which made you weak, and you reached out, tugging his hair, urgently pulling his lips back to yours. You gently bit his bottom lip, and a soft small groan escaped his lips. You pulled away.
“Bedroom…. Now.” You breathed.
Melissa’s mouth hung open in anticipation.
“Don’t you DARE leave me hanging as it’s getting to the good bit!” screeched Melissa
“We just never made it to dinner that night.” You smiled coyly. Melissa threw down the bag of candy in annoyance.
“Ok. Fine.. So what next. I mean, was this just a hook up thing or what? I thought you said you were dating him?”
Melissa rolled her eyes.
The rest of Lin’s time in New York seemed to go so fast and you knew in a matter of days he’d be going back to London. Over the course of the next week you saw each other as much as possible, although you never once discussed what would happen when he left. The next day he’d arranged to meet you in the park while walking his dog, Tobi in between work appointments and family plans. It was freezing cold, but you happily sat on a park bench, hands wrapped tight around a cup of hot chocolate as Lin talked animatedly about his disastrous dance rehearsals for Mary Poppins. You were both completely unaware that two hours had passed until Tobi had started pining for home.
The next day he’d invited you over to his apartment, which was empty and unused while based in London. You spotted a postcard on top of the piano in the corner.
“Hey this is my painting!” You exclaimed
“Wow, I didn’t know you could paint!” He smirked and you jabbed him gently with your elbow.
“I mean, this is the Miro painting I was babbling on about, why do you have this?”
“I wanted to see what you see. I grabbed it from the MoMA gift shop yesterday after my meeting.”
You were stunned as he grabbed the postcard from you turning it over.
“But it’s so small.” he said “Look, it says on the back that the real thing is huge! You need to see it!” You looked at him overwhelmed, unable to speak, and he shot you a quizzical look.
“What? Did I do something wrong?”
You shook your head, biting your lip.
“Sorry, I’ll stop going on about how you need to see this painting.” He said, looking embarrassed.
“Kiss me” you said.
On New Year’s eve he had plans with his family and you had plans to see friends so you decided to arrange to see each other New Year’s Day instead. You met back at the same diner, cradling cups of coffee just like before. Lin slumped forward in his chair, his eyes were bleary and his dark stubble indicated he was feeling hungover.
“So I take it you had a good night then?” you smiled.
“I think so.” He said rubbing his eyes and smiling softly. “ I remember teaching salsa to my nephews, then the grownups brought out the tequila. Then I’m a liiiittle hazy on the rest of the night.” He looked up at you with tired eyes.
”I missed you though.”
You smiled and then winced. He was leaving for London in 2 days and you still hadn’t addressed what might happen next, if anything.
“So I guess, I’m not gonna see you now.” You said, using your best nonchalant voice while fidgeting with the mug in front of you.
Lin pushed back his hair nervously.
“Well I’ve got press and family stuff all day tomorrow, then the day after I fly back to London in the morning”
You nodded slowly, not knowing what to say.
Lin opened his mouth to speak, you could see him carefully considering his words.
“I don’t want this to end” he said in a hushed tone.
You glanced up, raising your eyebrows in confusion.
“Am I wrong? I feel a little crazy saying this, but this week has been… I just don’t want this to end.” he said again, biting his lip nervously.
You nodded silently.
“I like you”. He said, placing his hand over yours.
You swallowed, trying to make sense of this.
“This feels… a little fast.” you admitted. “I like you too. It’s just confusing and I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do. I mean you live in London.”
Lin began to stroke your hand reassuringly.
“I live there temporarily. I’m back here nearly every month, and I’ll be back here permanently in a little while.”
You let out an exasperated sigh.
“It’s not just that. You live in London, and I’m just coming out of a 5 year relationship, I don’t know if I’m exactly making good choices right now and I don’t want to mess things up.”
“So… what do we do?” Lin asked, his eyes pleading.
You shook your head, not knowing what to say, and pulled away from his hand.
“I don’t know.”
“Oh hun I’m so sorry” Melissa said, picking up the bag of candy and offering it to you in pity. “It sucks it had to end like that. I’ve got to say I think you made the right decision though. Long-distance relationships never work out. Trust me on that.”
You sighed and took the candy from her, popping it in your mouth nodding.
“I didn’t say we ended it.” you said quietly.
Melissa’s raised her eyebrows in confusion.
“What? But he’s back in London now! Plus you just got dumped! How is this even a thing?”
“Look, I know I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. This feels reckless and a bit naive and after Kay all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and never come out. But look at me now, I feel like living again, and I feel like being impulsive. I can’t explain it!”
“Ok, ok that’s great, that’s fine and all, and believe me I want you to be happy,” she said, placing her hand on your shoulder. “But I mean, logistically how are you going to do this? You know, beyond skype and pining for someone a million miles away?”
“Well for a start, he kind of-sort of-maybe invited me to London.”
Melissa shook her head laughing,
Melissa stopped laughing.
“Oh sure, because an author who lives off froot loops and ramen and who can barely afford rent since their ex-girlfriend moved out can totally afford a last minute trip to London!?”
“Lin booked a ticket for me.” You said quietly.
“What?” Melissa blinked in disbelief.
“I know, I know! Look, I didn’t ask him for it, he offered, and I refused and he persisted. He’s kind of annoying like that.”
“This is unreal! You couldn’t even accept money from me when I tried to pay for your metrocard last month.” Melissa laughed, holding her head in her hands.
“I know this is nuts. And believe me I’m going to pay him back. I just feel….happy. Well happier than I have been. I’ve been drowning for the last month, and now there’s this thing which is making me feel more like myself again, this crazy ridiculous thing. I’d regret it so much if I didn’t at least give this a go and see what happens.”
Melissa shot you a look and then rolled her eyes.
“Ok ok, I don’t mean to be so negative. I’m just cautious. I don’t want to see you hurt again.”
“Me neither. “ You said earnestly.
“You sure you know what you’re doing?”Melissa asked you.
“Absolutely! And it’s terrifying.”
Melissa chuckled and squeezed your shoulder.
“Also, can I borrow your suitcase?”
You knew this was surreal. You knew this was out of character for you, but you felt like you’d already crossed some kind of line just by turning up to a diner at 1.30am to meet a perfect stranger 2 weeks ago. This was just the next natural step in your new surreal life. As you stared out of the window of the plane waiting for takeoff you felt a nervous pang of anxiety, your fear of flying mixing with the fear of the unknown. You checked your phone out of habit.
Lin: I get to see you in a few hours, how amazing is that!
Lin: I hope you are a fan of terrible British accents btw because that’s how I speak now
Lin: Hurry up plane, why aren’t you here yet? I’m sad that apparition and port keys don’t actually exist.
You chuckled to yourself and the waves of anxiety turned into pangs of excitement knowing you’d get to see Lin in just a few hours. You began typing out a reply as your phone buzzed again with another message. This time not from Lin.
Kay: Can you call me? We need to talk. I think I made a mistake and I need to see you.
You stared at the words on your phone as though in slow motion. You re-read the message over and over until your eyes started to blur and you began to breathe sharp ragged breaths.
“Miss? Miss? We’re asking everyone to turn off their mobile devices for take off.”
The flight attendant’s voice echoed in your ears and you fumbled with your phone, your fingers shook as you switched it off. With one message you felt yourself tumbling down that black hole again. An announcement over the tannoy let you know that the plane was ready to depart, and you fastened your seatbelt ready for take off
Doing anything with single-mindedness is hard. Doing it for a week is harder. God’s invitation to us in the week ahead is an audacious one; “Give me a week and I will remake the world”. Contained within this promise is the equally powerful personal promise; “Give me a week and I will remake you.” Dwelling in the stories, songs, prayers and silences that made up the last week of Jesus’ earthly ministry is challenging, but it does something to us, it opens us to the possibility of resurrection in the Easter story and in our own lives.
The coming weekend reminds us of the highs and lows of the week. We sing hosanna (please save us!), we wave branches and we remember Jesus’ joyful entry into Jerusalem. We also remember how this triumph turned tragic as the politics of the day had no room for a leader named Jesus.
Jesus wasn’t timid during his visit to the Holy City, after that grand parade he got busy chasing the moneychangers and animal dealers out of the courtyards of the Temple.
Jesus is surprised by an extravagant gift of love. During a dinner at a friend’s house, a woman pours expensive perfume all of his head, anointing him for burial. His friends struggle with the apparent waste, but he urges them to be generous in all things and to see what lies ahead.
Sometimes called Spy Wednesday, this is the day associated with Judas and his plot to turn over Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. What could someone get you to do for a month of wages?
From Mandatum or command, this day recalls that Jesus instructed his friends during his final meal before his arrest. He commanded them to love one another, represented by the washing of feet. He commanded them to remember him with the special Supper that he celebrated that night.
We read the story of the passion and crucifixion, not to feel morally superior to Jesus’ tormentors, but to recognize ourselves in them and to see the mercy Jesus extends to them and to us. We reel in the sadness of the loss and cry out in desperation “Remember me when you come into you kingdom!”
A time for silence, for watching and waiting. A time to keep vigil in all the places where death claims to be the last word. A time to contemplate the depths that Christ would go to, knowing the despair of death after death, before revealing true life after death.
We emerge from our silence to remember stories of salvation, to listen for Good news, to welcome new siblings into the family of God, and to sing the first songs of praise in the night!
From sunrise to sunset, we marvel in the power of God to make a way where there is none and to bring life out of death. In our worship, our festivities and even the quiet dinner of leftovers Jesus is present.
I urge you to use this listing as a guide, even if you can’t gather with others during each step of the way, to reset your mindfulness of Jesus’ journey to the Cross and beyond each day. Take time to pause, read the passages in your bible, imagine each scene and soak in what it means when the shouts of “He is Risen” fall on your ears.
A/N: Here’s a Stevie one shot for you guys, I hope you like it! :D
Your tongue stuck out in concentration as you slowly inched your way into the tight parking spot. When you thought you were too close to the car behind, you shifted your car back into drive and pulled forward a bit before repeating the process over again. It was your fault for driving into the city, knowing full well that it would be difficult to find parking, especially with your parallel parking skills. After the fifth time, you were tired. Your eyes narrowed as you watched through the back window, carefully backing up again when you suddenly felt your car bump forward. You squeezed your eyes shut and groaned. “Fuck.”
You regretted your stupidity the
moment you had made your first haul up the trunk. And when you had swung your
leg over the lowest branch, you had willed yourself on with reckless
adrenaline. It was only when you pulled yourself to the highest rung of the great
oak that you realized the height of your mistake.