Look at this nerd! He crawled underneath the bed sheets and then couldn’t get out!

anonymous asked:

NEET Dio/Diego AU when?

Dio is already a canon NEET man he’s just really good at convincing people to worship him and do his dirty work.

Diego as a dinosaur otaku though, posting on paleontology boards and being shitty to people over their ignorance. He also posts to horse racing blogs. His username is synonymous with asshole who responds to every post with “well ACTUALLY” and condescendingly correcting people.

He has five custom built reptile tanks. Two geckos, a blue-tongued skink, a large albino ball python, and a savannah monitor named Vanessa who’s his literal, actual child.


DM’s Monitors has just produced true Captive Bred Born Savannah Monitor Lizards (Varanus exanthematicus)!

That’s right, some of the only captive bred savannah monitors currently available in the US!

For only $250 + shipping, you can have one of these cute little guys delivered straight to your door! Grab two and it’ll only cost you $450 + shipping!

But Kris, why should I buy these when I can get a different savannah monitor for cheaper? I’m glad you asked! Other than these cute little hatchlings right here, practically all savannah monitors are wild caught. This means they are snatched up from their homes, shipped overseas, and often times sold straight away after being imported. Now what does that mean for you? You would end up with a dehydrated, malnourished, parasite-ridden, severely stressed animal that fears everything about you. Not to mention, sick reptile = pricey vet bills.

With these captive bred savannah monitors produced by DM’s Monitors, you’d be getting a very healthy baby that was produced and born in captivity. These babies are hydrated, eating well, and will even tong-feed!

So would you rather have a sick, lethargic import carrying hefty vet bills? Or would you rather have a healthy, captive bred animal that has already got a great head start? I know which one I would pick!

These are truly high-quality animals; get them before they’re gone!

And as always, make sure to do your research before bringing an animal into your home.