I am / that thing / in your closet / The groaning / wooden bones / of your house / When you / do not / occupy this space / leaving for work / For groceries / For a night out / in the city / To drive / drunk & believe / you are in love / I rearrange / your cabinets / Drag my jagged / teeth across / the walls / Leave clumps / of fur / underneath your / couch cushions / & bones / I have / picked meat / from my teeth with / in the furnace / If you were / to burn with / your house / I would only / move in / next door / haunt someone / else’s son / or sister / It’s just something / I’ve grown good at.

written and submitted by @jakelikespoetry

it gets easier to talk about but it also gets harder to talk about. i have to unfold things carefully, but the map shows better. here’s the first time i got hit by a parent, here’s the first time i got hit by a partner. they’re around the corner from each other, mirror images or hands holding or two sides of a blade. the look on people’s faces always is the same when they find out. like the words hurt them in the pit of their stomach. i feel bad when it does that; i know what it’s like to be suckerpunched. often i comfort people right after: oh, no, it’s okay, i’m okay now, it’s fine, i’m all in one piece, i got out, i’m a resilience child, i learned kindness, i found inner peace, i meditate twice a day, i do yoga and drink kale shakes and eat as if nobody ever made my teeth bleed. some of these are lies, but that is fine too, because it’s better that people don’t know an ugly truth.

sometimes i forget who in the room knows. i laugh about what happened like a punchline (get it) and people stare at me with mouths open like moons. oh my god, did that really happen to you? i don’t know. sometimes it feels like it happened to someone else, out on a distant planet. sometimes it feels like it never happened at all. sometimes it feels like it’s still happening. how can you laugh at that? and is that true? how do i say “because if i don’t laugh it’s serious” because of course it’s true. for proof: raise your hand a fraction too smooth. watch the shadow pass over my face. watch me curl away. watch me change. like a chameleon girl, i shift my shape. someone who doesn’t know laughs. you’re certainly jumpy. the girl at the table who helped me cover the bruise stares at me, watching my chest, trying to figure out if i’m panicking. he’s confused when quiet are you okay questions touch my skin - only those who know, only those who are watching.

and i smile, because it’s easier to talk about but it’s harder to admit it still effects me. memories should be left in the kingdom of dreams. sometimes i feel like i should be done with it already. i stare at a picture of cartoons that says if you don’t know these, you didn’t have a childhood. i know all but two of them. some of them i watched after it happened. i really liked scooby doo. in the end, the mask comes off and the bad guy is revealed and he goes to jail. in real life, i wait for someone to come take his mask off. it just makes him mean. the blue lights of the law never show up on the green of our lawn. i had a pretty good childhood, i think. it made me interesting, at least. i picked blueberries.

i laugh about it a lot. talk about how it’s funny that if you got abused there’s just, like, a second round of partner abuse, sitting out there, waiting for you. that you’re the most likely to pick an abuser from the crowd - or worse, like beauty and the beast, watch yourself become her. see your rotten hands and think of your father. isn’t that funny! that i can take a hit and i’d rather take a lifetime of them than be the one doing the giving just once. i talk about how you walk in the eclipse of it. that it confuses you when the sun comes out. that when you find someone who won’t hurt you, you still walk on eggshells, waiting for them to hurt you. i say it through a smile, because if you bend yourself the right way, your life looks more like comedy-drama than just plain tragedy. i watch fantastic beasts and where to find them and when the abused child turns out to be beyond saving, i hear myself laugh in a bark. or it was a sob. i can’t tell. it doesn’t matter. in my world, children like me learned about magic early, and how our own actions can turn a man from a gentle person into a savage beast. 

okay, i say, smiling, maybe if you put it that way, yeah, i was abused and it wasn’t funny. but come on. think of the puns! you could say my life was really a hit! now don’t be upset. it’s funny. it’s funny. it’s funny.

arguably the best TAZ quote

I just wanna educate real quick everybody about tardigrades, OK? They can survive a few minutes at 304° Fahrenheit. They can survive 30 years at -20° celsius. They can survive a few minutes at -1000° kelvin. They can survive a few days at -326° Fahrenheit. They can go without water for 10 years. These are savage beasts, and I’m going to haunt them with the only thing that can stop them–their own fears. What does a tardigrade fear? I can’t fathom it. Because it’s un-killable.

The popular notions that “a woman’s love can tame the most savage beast” and that “love conquers all” reveal an attempt to exercise control in a situation in which women otherwise feel powerless. A logical outcome of these notions is that, since it is women’s love and influence that allegedly tames men, the failure of a relationship, even a brutal relationship, must be the woman’s fault. The woman simply has not done a good enough job of taming her savage partner. And many people do draw that conclusion, as battered women’s testimonies reveal.
—  Dee L. R. Graham, Loving to Survive
Spy music

Context: After an ill-concieved jaunt across an ocean on a now sunken air ship, the party bard lost all of her instruments. She now only has her voice. Currently, the party is on it’s way to assassinate a zealot halfling who is about ready to start a race-riot. Sneakiness is of the utmost importance. The party bard has a handy spell song called ‘song to soothe the savage beast’ which acts as a song of stealth.

DM: What do you use to play the song? You lost all your instruments in the ocean remember?

Bard: My mouth. I hum and sing a wordless spy tune. I mean like, a song you’d hear in a 007 movie. You know the one. DO-NAH-NEWWWW, DO-NAH-NEW, DUN-DUN. DO-NAH-NEWWW, DO-NAH-NEWWW, DUN-DUN. Do-Doo-DAH-Doo-Doo, DO-NAH-NEW, DO-NAH-NEWWWW-

[DM rolls saving throws for NPCs]

DM: Miraculously, this works.

a tale as old as time. her eyes are brown like mine.

beauty, with your soft voice and your pretty cheeks: does he kiss your bruises after he’s finished screaming? belle, princess of patience, lady who simply loved until he came around to it - can you teach me how to tame him? how to make him never raise a hand to me again?

true love changes him. which love do i give him, bella. in the morning when i am up early to make him breakfast and silent when he yells at me, is this the music that soothes the savage beast? in the black of night, when my eyes are closed and he is panting at my neck, is this the love that put him to sleep?

when he turns twenty-one the spell will be forever. the last petal. he will remain a horror forever. you must shape him into a better man by then, beauty. must carve out your own heart and feed it to him gently. must spoon him your own bones until he stops being hungry. 

youthful indiscretions are forgot. you cover up the scars from his claws. it is not the man, it is the curse he lives under. you are his one. his only chance. i come back like you, belle. i return to the castle no matter how battered i become. i think i see the man you saw once, bella. i think i see the man i fell in love with. 

we, que linda, are strong girls. my nose, yours, bella, we keep ours in books. i too am the strange girl, running until her feet tire. i too am lost in the woods. we ran from our houses and found monsters, or maybe we were always fated to. we love a challenge. we have hearts that are mountains.

beauty. i kiss him but the spell never breaks, i sit myself in pretty dresses at fancy tables with meals i made just for him. even the grey stuff is delicious. he still throws the dishes. 

later when he is apologizing i feel your ghost hope in me - did we at last get through to him. did we reverse the curse. this time, does he mean it. if i am better will he open up. if i am better will he stop. if i am better could i beat him. if i am better can i leave him. 

belle: how do i save him. how do i save myself.

The Gods Today: Loki

Next installment of reflections on the Norse Gods in the modern world inspired by @tricksterinthehedges

The easiest rule to remember when looking for Loki is that if there are children or those ostracized he’s not far behind. The hardest rule to remember when looking for Loki is that he refuses to be boxed into predictable patterns that aren’t his own making.

Loki can be found living on the streets with those abandoned, shunned, and forgotten. They’ve been lost to the world and are beginning to lose themselves. They’re all on the streets for an array of reasons, but it all comes down to being viewed as inhuman to others. They are LGBTQ+ kids kicked out of their home and disowned by family. They are the mentally and physically disabled - some born and others created from wars - that the world has determine do not offer a valuable place in society. They have been left to rot.

He scavenges alongside them, bracing the fierce uncaring of the world. He sits on street corners in the high heat of summer, fighting sunstroke and heat exhaustion. He curls up under bridges and in alleys during the low chill of winter, fighting frostbite and gnawing hunger. Sometimes he fills a truck full of food, water, clothes, and toiletries. He’s stuffed the necessities in hiking backpacks that he hands out to everyone he sees. He returns the spit and hatred sent their way. He protests for them. He fights in the government, demanding funding for shelters, demanding respect, demanding that they be seen as the victims of the society around them assigning a low value to their existence and NOT their intrinsic worth.

For young men of color, he walks the streets with them. Keeping their mind sharp and tongue quick. They shouldn’t need it, but they do. He’s seen one too many cops charge forward bull-headed, believing the man in front of him is a savage beast that poses a threat. Fire licks his skin as he once again has to help a child resort to smooth talking and keeping to the shadows to simply survive in his neighborhood from those meant to protect him.

Lawyers like to think he’s on their side. But in truth, he likes working against them. Tripping them up, throwing curveballs, testing their wit, humbling their god-complex. He knows manipulation of truth; it is his craft. But something rubs him the wrong way about humans using it to obstruct rather than elucidate. Though, he has seen Legally Blonde, and he thinks that if more were like Elle Woods and Emmett he would happily be their patron.

Loki’s a favored substitute teacher. The classroom rules that enforce organization are scrapped. Chaos reigns. More than a few teachers passing in the hall have expressed worry and skepticism about his efficiency and efficacy. He laughs and waves a hand. “Kids learn in chaos and experience.” It’s how they make sense of the world. It’s how they learn to survive, to create, to thrive. All required assignments are always done in record time, and then more is accomplished. Perhaps they spent the day dissecting the field mouse someone found a recess, but they made more connections to the inner workings of the world than they had before. Students walk away with wild tales of what they learned - in truth most of them are new ways to prank siblings, parents, and other such pesky figures of authority. Some seemingly throwaway comment he made in passing returns to them 15 years later in life and helps them make sense of the swirling storm of adulthood and the world. More than a couple of his young students have gone on to become teachers in their own right who respect the chaos and creation of the learning experience.

He’s the bane of college students’ existence, though. He exists as the one professor you want to strangle because he refuses to give you a straight answer. He pokes. He prods. He flips the question back on you. He argues any side with ease. He is fond of being deemed “The Devil’s Advocate” because it means he’s got you engaged and thinking. His students struggle to get his approval. They struggle to see his way. But that’s the thing. He doesn’t have one way to see something. He sees through, around, above, and under. He pushes you to do the same.

At the end of the day, he knows all destruction and upheavel he’s accomplished has to be done. It’s the natural order and makes way for creation. He is the raging forest and brush fires from both natural and man-made causes. Everyone happily gives him blame and credit for those, but they fail to still find him in the smoldering ashes rejuvenating the soil, letting the new generation take root in fertile soil. They fail to still find him in the raging social action that sweeps through local government to ensure protections and preventions against such devastation happening again. They see seem him in the natural disasters and fall-out, but fail to see him helping with the construction of the foundations for a new city with higher dreams as they work to overcome and build on this pain. They fail to see him in the innovation that follows.

He spends time with his daughter in children’s hospitals, watching them fight for life against their body’s self-destruction. He sees his children in them. He sees the pain and anguish and strength in the face death. He works to bring laughter and joy, however momentary it is. He doesn’t leave until he’s visited every child and brought a smile to each face.

He spends time in the prisons and jails. He volunteers to teach classes. He keeps addicts honest. Sometimes he becomes a probation officer and the odd counselor. More than once he’s gotten in trouble for questionable methods, but he gets results. He forces people to address the darkest parts of themselves. They embrace or run away. They give in or strive against. Whichever they chose, he doesn’t necessarily care either way. He just cares that they know and acknowledge it. Things still fall apart in the darkness. It’s best to shine a light on them and be aware of where the breaks and holes are. Frequently, it’s those on the outside of the bars who need this lesson more.

He wanders with those lost in the wilds, those who hiked too far or whose car broke down. He keeps them vigilant and aware of the threats surrounding them. He inspires their resourcefulness. This is new terrain. This is wild terrain. Civility won’t bring survival. He encourages the animalistic instincts to come out.

He helps people fight for what they want.

He helps acceptance of selfishness. Sometimes it’s what you need to survive. Sometimes you need it to live. Sometimes it’s just fun.

The only constant he has is with one-to-one relationships. He never presents or acts just the same to two people. But he’ll stay true to who he is to you. He’s fluid, but always who he is. The moon goes through phases but is still the moon. Elements change states of matter but still remain as their element, such as water to ice to vapor. No one has managed to catch his core self, but it settles in the center of his bones and thrums in his veins. Many have ideas. Many have found commonalities. Many believe they do, but they are too quick to judge and pick and choose and force the pieces. Sometimes you may catch a glimpse flicker in his eye; an ember of the doused fire inside.

Angrboda accepts his core, but has never quite understood it. She’s been known to turn a blind eye to the extent of his creative powers. Sigyn loves and understands his changing nature and his part of bringing rebirth through death, but every now and then a haze crosses his eyes, the corner of his lips crinkles, and a new dynamic she has never witness comes through. She has found that to understand she must know that he’ll never be stagnant.

But, when the world sleeps and monsters prowl, he takes time to be still. He watches the stars turn in the sky around him. He listens to the wind curl and embrace the world; it stops to say hi and play with his hair for a moment, offering a caress before it carries on. He feels the earth thrum underneath his soles and thinks on the future he is fated to live. He’s never cared for predictability, and if they think it will end the way they say, they clearly have never met him. He vows as the night fades to mingle with day that he will take charge of himself. That’s what he centers around.

“Why was it, she asked herself, that ‘animals can sometimes subdue their predatory ways in only a few months, while humans, despite centuries of refinement, can quickly grow more savage than any beast.”
Diane Ackerman, The Zookeeper’s Wife

The Alliance doesn’t need any more monster, beast, savage, barbaric or “horde-like” races, please keep your dark trolls, vrykul, nerubians, eredar , “smart ogres” -or whatever silly new race ideas pleople are coming with nowadays- away from the Alliance. we don’t need to mirror the horde to be cool. Thanks

Syn - You’re right, you’re gunna need way more than that for Alliance to be considered cool :D

Advanced English Vocabulary Part 3

feral (adj.) wild, savage

“That beast looks so feral that I would fear being alone with it.”

flabbergasted (adj.) astonished

“Whenever I read an Agatha Christie novel, I am flabbergasted to learn the identity of the murderer.”

forsake (v.) to give up, renounce

“I won’t forsake my strong moral principles for anything.”

  • forsaken (adj.) describes something that has been given up or abandoned

furtive (adj.) secretive, sly

“Claudia’s placement of her drugs in her sock drawer was not as furtive as she thought, since that’s the first place most parents look.”

haughty (adj.) disdainfully proud, snobby

“The superstar’s haughty dismissal of her co-stars will backfire on her someday.”

  • haughtiness (n.) arrogance, pride, the quality of being haughty

hypocrisy (n.) demanding from others what one does not give or deliver

“The priest preached tolerance and love for all people, but was a judgemental and prejudiced man himself.”  

  • hypocritical (adj.) describes one who behaves with hypocrisy
  • hypocrite (n.) a person who is hypocritical

impeccable (adj.) flawless, without error

“If your grades were as impeccable as your brother’s, then you to would receive a car for a graduation present.”

impertinent (adj.) rude, insolent

“Most of your comments are so impertinent that I don’t wish to dignify them with an answer.”

  • impertinence (n.) rudeness, the quality of being impertinent

implacable (adj.) incapable of being appeased, impossible to calm

“Watch out- once you insul Grandmother’s cooking, she is totally implacable.”

impudent (adj.) casually rude, insolent, impertinent

“The impudent you woman was given a detention for her comments during class.”

  • impudence (n.) rudeness, disrespect, insolence

incisive (adj.) sharp, direct

“The discussion wasn’t going anywhere until her incisive comment allowed everyone to see what the real issue was.”

indolent (adj.) lazy (NOTE: not to be confused with insolent)

“Why should my indolent children be allowed to go to the party when they can’t be bothered to clean their rooms?”

  • indolence (n.) laziness

inept (adj.) not suitable or capable, unqualified

“She proved how inept she was when she forgot two orders and spilled cider in a customer’s lap.”

infamy (n.) notoriety, extremely ill repute (fame for bad reasons)

“The infamy of his crime will not lessen as time passes.” 

  • infamous (adj.) describes one with a bad reputation, one who is notorious

inhibit (v.) to prevent, restrain, stop

“When I told you I needed the car last night, it wasn’t mean to inhibit you from going out.”

  • inhibiting (adj.) describes something that restrains, that holds something back

innate (adj.) native, inherent, something one is born with

“His innate musical talent made him a piano prodigy at a very young age.”

insatiable (adj.) unable to be satisfied

“My insatiable appetite for Italian food was a problem on my holiday to Japan.”

insular (adj.) separated, closed off

“Because of the hostile terrain between the two cities, their cultures have remained insular from each other despite how nearby they are.  

intrepid (adj.) brave, particularly in the face of danger

“After scaling a live volcano and narrowly escaping its eruption, the explorer was praised for her intrepid attitude.”

anonymous asked:

Hi there c: Could I request a Eren, Levi and Erwin Modern AU Headcanons of romantic relationships with they're s/o? How would it be and what kind of s/o for them? c: Thank you very much! Keep up the great work!


  • Even in a modern AU, Eren would still be traumatized by the events that plagued him as a child. There’s no way fate would let him escape experiencing loss and heartache, no matter how that came. That being said, he is still going to need a s/o that is kind and affectionate and loves him despite his various faults; that can calm down the raging storm inside his heart.
  • They meet randomly, more than likely at a coffee shop or perhaps at a university-sponsored course they both decided to take to expand whatever skill. They end up partnered together for a class project and so they end up spending quite a lot of time together, getting to know one another. 
  • There’s more time for the simple things in a modern AU, so I could definitely see Eren and his s/o going on dates, his hand intertwined with theirs as they did something fun like explore the old downtown part of their city. He has a sweet tooth so they’d often visit ice cream shops together, trying out new flavors and laughing when they happened to get a pretty gross one.
  • His sleep is still full of nightmares, so his s/o would always be waiting there next to him, curled against his side so they could feel the first shiver that indicated his pain. They’d comfort him until he felt safe enough to fall back asleep, running their fingers through his hair soothingly.
  • Over all, there would be a lot of love and affection between the two, and he wouldn’t be ashamed to flaunt that love in public by kissing his s/o’s nose when they were being particularly cute, or capturing their lips with his when they’ve said something incredibly sweet and touching.
  • Eren, being as passionate as he is, is often completely overwhelmed with emotions so he tends to be quite impulsive. Though his s/o might be completely caught off guard, Eren would find himself wanting his hands all over his s/o’s body even in the more inappropriate places, and it’s all his s/o can do to calm the savage beast until they get home and Eren can continue touching exactly where he wants to.


  • Being in a relationship with Levi in modern AU wouldn’t change that much–he would still be very distant and closed off, and just like Eren there is no way fate would let him escape the tragedy he’s destined to experience as a child. He has issues trusting and letting people in, so getting to know him would still be a feat in itself; he would need someone very determined to break down his walls.
  • More than likely his s/o would need to work with him because Levi so rarely goes out in public to do anything but work, so establishing a relationship with him would be very hard unless they saw him every single day and had reason to talk to him.
  • They’re more than likely his assistant, and they’d have to have a pretty dedicated work ethic in order to keep up with his expectations. He finds himself attracted not only to their physique but also just how hard they work to achieve not just results, but nearly perfect ones.
  • It would still have to be them who pursued him in the end, not the other way around, but I do believe Levi in a modern AU would be a little–just a little–more lax and less rough around the edges. For example he could appreciate when someone looked attractive, and he would be less inclined to hide his approving stares, though he still wouldn’t make it completely obvious.
  • He might flirt, in a very Levi-esque way, by bantering with them a little more and finding small ways here and there to spend more time with them. His self-confidence would still be lacking for him to make the final move to establish a relationship, but lingering glances and touches here and there would give them a clear enough picture of what he wants.
  • There would definitely be office sex since Levi more than likely has a fancy, large office to compensate for the lack of things he had as a child. Levi tends to get impatient, and there’s no way he’s waiting to get home to wash away a stressful day at work when there’s a perfectly good desk right there.


  • Erwin would, no matter the time period, find himself still as busy as he’d ever been–he takes up difficult, strenuous work and finds some martyr-like goal in order to distract himself from his darkest thoughts. 
  • He would be just as charming as ever, except this time there’s not the looming threat of death on every horizon so he would use that charm in more efficient ways. He’s a very good public speaker, and can convince even the most stubborn of individuals to flip-flop to his idea, so he’s more than likely in something like sales or law.
  • He’s probably working himself to death with paperwork, though, and often finds himself drowning the stress of his job with a glass of bourbon at the closest bar to his work. It’s the only thing that he knows can calm his racing heart and infectious worries about his future. 
  • He’d probably meet his s/o there–they’re bartending and serving him drinks nearly every night during the week that they end up just knowing what he likes and even have it ready for him when he walks in after a tough day at work.
  • They talk whenever the shift isn’t too busy, first about his work, then onto deeper subjects like his childhood and his regrets. They form a bond that has each of them looking forward to speaking, Erwin realizing that it’s no longer the drink that’s calming his anxious mind but rather the silly bartender he’s decided to open up to.
  • When Erwin doesn’t show up one night, they more than likely get worried, and decide to visit his office during their break to check up on him. They find him hovering over mountains of paperwork at his desk, completely alone in the dark building and totally surprised to see them. This inevitably ends up in intimacy, both of them overwhelmed by the thick sexual tension and spurred on by the meaningful bond they’ve developed over the past few months.