Day One Hundred and Four
-I witnessed a young girl in a tiara being pushed around the store, the soundtrack to Moana being blasted from an indeterminate location. She has figured it out. She is living the true Disney princess life.
-Two squabbling toddlers came through my lane. As expected, stickers soothed the savage youth instantaneously, turning them into pinnacles of behavior. I am convinced that I have been unwittingly brought into a Snickers commercial as the Supplier.
-A man zoomed past my lane, hustling and hobbling on his way towards the bathroom, his eyes darting all around, his hands clutching a hidden object beneath his shirt. I am grateful for the shoplifters who opt to take it easy on me. It is far too early for me to be at the top of my game, and I appreciate the handicap.
-A boy chanted, “Circle paint. Circle paint. Circle paint.” He grasped a wooden circle and a bottle of paint. I suspect that he intends to coat the circle with the paint. Only time will tell.
-Moments after being berated and ridiculed by a pair of elderly women, I was visited by a pair of puckish toddlers. Somehow sensing how crestfallen I had become, they stepped up their antics, making the most absurd facial expressions and noises in a heartfelt attempt to cheer me up. I am pleased to say that their endeavors were a positive success.
-I passed by a mother sternly explaining to her two year-old son that, were he to smack my manager, he would be sent directly to jail. I am not sure what he could have done to warrant such a warning, but this child does not seem too likely to heed it.
-A woman asked if we carried shoes. I told her that we did. She asked me where they were. I gave her detailed directions. She continued with her purchase. I asked her if she would like to go back to look. She told me that she was not interested in shoes. I do not know what I was thinking to presume as much of her.
-While attending to urgent corporate business, I found a comic book pamphlet entitled, “TITANIC” sitting on the toilet paper dispenser. Upon further inspection, I have found that it is a Christian story of how the Titanic hit the iceberg due to one man saying that he hated Jesus. This is not the first piece of religious literature, or religerature, that I have found in this stall, and I cross my fingers that it will not be the last.
-A woman asked if the shirts that she had just purchased had pockets. After I confirmed that they did not, she explained that she was worried as my shirt did. The shirt that I was wearing was by no means the same style, type, or brand, and had come from a different store, but I am a firm believer that it is always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to pockets.