guys, even i don’t have notifications on for lin on twitter

Some highlights from the Westworld Panel at Paleyfest!

- Evan states that Dolores is the best character she has ever played, and that this role has changed her life.

- Thandie described Evan’s performance as a “powerhouse”, and Evan told the audience how much she wished that she could have worked more with Thandie in season 1.

- Jimmi said that he had no idea what this show was about or the scope of it when he first signed on. He thought he would be in an episode or two (max), and realized his role was larger when he was scripted to pick up Dolores’ fallen can in Sweetwater. He said, “Why am I picking up the main girl’s can? Why am I picking up the star’s can???”. He went on to say that he thought this would be a cheesy CHIPS remake, explaining that he had very little idea as to what the show was about. He realized how big of a deal this project was when he saw Sir Anthony Hopkins name on the cast list.

- Evan figured out that Dolores was Wyatt part-way through the season. She said she had been racking her brain of who it could be and was wondering why no one had been cast for the role. It hit her as she walked out of her trailer and she said to herself, “Wait, I’m Wyatt.” 

- James Marsden talked about how thrilled he was to be working with Anthony Hopkins, but was upset that his first interaction with the actor was in his birthday suit.

- Thandie talked about the extreme violence against women in the show and how she’s an activist for female rights and was nervous about this project. Once she signed on, she realized how important this story was to tell, and how it shed light on the treatment of women without ever being gratuitous or exploitative. She stated that this was the first project where she felt she could take her activism with her on set every single day. She never felt as if she had to dull that side of her down.

- Lisa Joy and Jon Nolan talked about the music selections for season 2 and that there is a creepy and wonderful dark twist on a childhood classic that their daughter always listens to. They talked about how originally the musical selection was going to be more guitar based, but that they ultimately decided on the piano. 

- Jimmi had no idea he was the Man in Black until one of the makeup artists pulled him aside and said he wanted to change his eyebrows. He realized that if they were changing them, it must be in order to look like someone else in the cast. He narrowed it down to Ed Harris and then asked Lisa if he was correct. Lisa thought that Jon would be upset if she told Jimmi the truth, but she ultimately didn’t want Jimmi to be insecure about his eyebrows. Ed then asked if something was wrong with his own eyebrows.

- Ed talked about the fact that he had no idea Jimmi was playing a younger version of himself until he walked by him one day and a crew member said, “That’s younger you.” 

- While there was no exclusive footage, there was a hilarious gag reel in the beginning of the panel. The best scene was Dolores saying “These violent delights have violent ends” in her most menacing voice while it showed her standing next to her pooping horse on set.

things i’ve seen this week on which made me lmao (laugh my ass off™)

+ as long as it’s 100 cals, eating doesn’t break your fast
+ anything under 2,000 calories is restricting
+ if you water fast for over 24 hours you basically like die
+ the fact that 98% of y'all just have low self esteem/weight issues and not actual eds yet never shit the fuck up about ~princess an@/mi@~

anyways i’m pretty sure i’ll find more stuff that will make me lmao that y'all reblog stay tuned for next weeks post

Choosing Recovery

This is a huge thing for me to admit so I hope you don’t think I’m lying when I say that choosing recovery is the BEST decision I have ever made. In just a couple of weeks my world has been flipped upside down.

• Now that I’m eating more it means that I’m not thinking about food 100% of the time which means that I have time to think about other things.
• I’ve been able to start catching up with schoolwork because my brain is now able to handle working in short bursts (15 mins work then 15 mins break usually).
• My exams start in just under 50 days and I actually think I’ll be able to sit them.
• My concentration is slowly getting better. I went to the cinema yesterday and was able to sit through a WHOLE FILM. WITHOUT MOVING.
• Not only did I go to the cinema, but I went to the cinema with my Nan, and our relationship is slowly but surely starting to improve now that I’m not lying to her about food all the time.
• I was bloated for two weeks straight because my body couldn’t digest food properly and continuing to increase was the last thing I wanted to do but you wanna know what happened when I increased some more? I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND BAM. NO BLOAT.
• ^ I still have a long way to go in terms of food but I’m getting there.
• I’m learning to accept that my scars are fading but I am not.
• I used to lie down in bed at night and every single one of my muscles would feel sore and achy but that’s more or less gone.
• I’ve also stopped feeling like I’m gonna faint every single time I stand up.
• My knuckles aren’t red and sore.
• It’s been sunny here in the UK for the past couple of weeks and I don’t want to say that it’s a sign or anything, but…
• My mood has improved so much.
• I’m talking to my mum a lot more and I feel like I’m getting to know an entirely new person.
• I’m proving so many people wrong.

If there’s even a tiny part of you that thinks you might someday possibly maybe want to attempt recovery then P L E A S E listen to it. Even if your illness is screaming and crying and fighting, that small voice is still there and worth paying attention to. It’s not easy. Trust me when I say that it’s not, but it’s worth it. You are beautiful and strong and inspiring and unique and you deserve every piece of happiness that this world has to offer. You’ve been put on this earth to do so much more than this. You’ve been put on this earth to do more than destroy yourself. I know that it’s scary. I know that the thought of your safety net being taken away terrifies you to no end and you don’t know how you could possibly live without your eating disorder, but trust me when I say that as long as you’re living with your eating disorder, you’re not living at all.

People think that living with an eating disorder is hard but I have to disagree. Living with an eating disorder is easy. You don’t have to worry about making decisions because it’s all set out for you. Your eating disorder literally gives you a step-by-step guide on how to live your life. What to wear, how to act, what to say, what to eat, who to be, and the list goes on. What’s not included in this guide is how to socialise, how to laugh, how to sing to your favourite song, how to dance in your underwear, how to travel or how to feel happiness and contentment. The guide strips you of all of this and what are you left with? Nothing. You’re literally left with nothing but misery.

I know that recovery is scary, but what’s scarier is living your life stuck in the claws of something that only wants to kill you. It’s not your friend. It doesn’t want to make you feel better. You’ve lived with this for long enough and now you’re strong enough to break away from it. Sorry to break it to you, but if you’re sitting around waiting for the right time to recover then you’re waiting for a train that’s never going to come. Only YOU can make the decision to recover. Nobody is going to make it for you. Either you get stronger or your eating disorder does. This is a choice that your eating disorder can’t make for you. You have to accept that you are worth something more, and then make the decision to set yourself free.