Mum: what toppings do you like on pizza?
Me: Oh…pepperoni, mushrooms, olives, sausage, beef, sometimes garlic…
Stepfather: That’s the toppings on the “cowboy” pizza from the take-and-bake place!
Me: That…was a list of options, not a recipe.
I’m beginning to think the true pizza controversy isn’t pineapple lovers vs pineapple haters, but “one or two topping” versus “casserole with a pizza crust”.