Once upon I time I was on a POT date, and ended up comparing myself to a high end gym

It makes sense, hear me out

I was on a date with this god awful POT who was dead set on low balling me and claimed he didn’t see the “reason” behind a monthly allowance and would much rather pay per date, and here’s where it got interesting;

“Would you happen to have a gym membership?”

“Yes, I do”

“And is the gym you go to a nice gym?”

“Of course”

“Okay then, think of it like this. I am your gym, you come in and partake in your gym activities, use all the amenities provided to you by said gym. The hot tub, sauna, weight room, eliptical, treadmill, showers, locker: you use all of that. Why are you able to do that? Because you are a member and you pay a certain amount every month to do so; does your membership rate change if you go 4 times a month VS you going once a month? No it doesn’t, why you ask? Because regardless of whether or not you’re there, the gym needs to keep running, the electricity, water, and rental space all need to be paid for in order for that gym to run properly. Now, you say your gym is pretty nice? Which means you are willing to pay more for it because it’s nicer, the same rule applies to me. The more money that comes in, the nicer the gym is; better machines, it’s clean, and you end up getting more perks, why? Because since you pay extra you get extra. Don’t wanna pay that hearty membership fee? No worries! You can go to a cheaper gym! Will you get the same service? Will it look as nice? Absolutely not. Now say you don’t feel like working out in the same place as other people, and much rather have the place to yourself? That’s cool too! Now you’ve just built your own home gym AND hired a personal trainer who is there for you and you only! And you know what? That’s even more expensive, why? Because now you have exclusivity, and that gym is for you and you only. Does it make sense now? If you want a gorgeous, poised, clean cut, elegant sugar baby; you will have to pay a larger amount than if you just want your average Susie Q, and don’t get me wrong; there’s probably nothing wrong with Susie, but is she anything special? Is she a luxury? Does she fit seamlessly into your high rise lifestyle? Absolutely not. Therefore you should not demand YSL product at Walmart prices, you cheap piece of shit" Needless to say it didn’t work out and he ended up going back home to his Susie Q wife

I just submitted a few days ago, but I just remember another good story and now I’m on a roll. I work front desk at a gym, we provide a babysitting service here so some members bring their kids. So I’m at the desk, and a member walks up to me and tells me there’s a kid in the women’s restroom sitting down alone and eating. Children aren’t allowed in the rest room alone, so I went in to check it out. As I’m talking to the little girl asking where her parent is, the mother pops out of the sauna to tell me she was right there. So I told her that I was notified by another member and that children can’t be alone in the restroom. She got an attitude and told me that other woman “should mind her own business.” Whatever, she didn’t seem mad at me so its fine. Right after she leaves my manager comes up to me and told me the woman was complaining about me to him, she said I was extremely rude to her and never greet her when she comes in. Which is so laughable because one, I always say hi and bye to everyone, and two, in the past she’s literally told me I’m the friendliest front desk person. Lol bitch please.

anonymous asked:

It's called a mirror cube tree house, and it's apparently "a great place to stay for two people" comes with restraint, sauna, bar, tv area and free wifi. The restraints are 1930-50s theme.

Again, gross

  • Me: I'm still sick. I hate my lungs.
  • Dad: Hmm. I'm going to ask a question, and you don't have to answer it and I'm not implying anything.
  • Me: ok.
  • Dad: Do you still have a gym membership.
  • Me: Yes?
  • Dad: Do they have a steam room?
  • Me: It's a $20 a month gym.
  • Dad: You say that like it means something to me.
  • Me: Ok, well. Let's put it this way: When I had a $75/month gym membership I didn't use, it was a place that had two saunas, a 6-lane lap pool, a hot tub, and on-staff massage therapists, and provided towels AND a laundry service. At the $20 gym I don't use, they don't have any of that stuff. I even have to bring my own lock.
  • Dad: I think you should go back to the $75/month gym. You had a lot higher class of missed opportunities.

Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

My lack of color is thanks to the fact I’m terrible with shading so I’m trying to make that my primary focus. I took this pose from an older piece of art I did last year so I can see the improvement.

Plus it’s been awhile so I wanted to give you all yet another naked Turian *more confetti *

Sauna for dummies

  • Sauna is an essential to Finnish culture. Back in the days Finns did not only bathe, but also cooked, gave birth and healed the sick in the sauna. There are also many old sauna-related beliefs.
  • Go naked! It’s better, trust me. If you feel shy or uncomfortable, you can always take a towel.
  • Bring a small towel you can sit on. For hygienic reasons. Also because the benches may be uncomfortably hot.
  • Some public saunas are unisex. Just letting you know. But don’t worry, people usually act very appropriately.
  • Don’t wear a swimsuit in a sauna if you swam in a pool! You most likely have chlorine on your swimsuit. It will vaporize and it’s toxic.
  • First shower, then sauna, then shower again. If you’re at a summer cottage, it might not be possible to take a shower first, though.
  • Spanking yourself with a birch whisk may sound weird, but it’s really worth it. It’s called vasta or vihta in Finnish. It helps your blood circulation and it smells good.
  • Some like it hot, some don’t. Quite often you hear Finns say that the perfect sauna temperature is somewhere between 80 and 100 °C (176-212 °F) degrees but some like lower temperatures around 60-70 degrees (140-158 °F). Or even lower. And it’s totally okay! Sauna is not a competition. Though Finland used to host sauna world championships. No more championships have been held since 2010 when the men’s final turned out to be fatal.
  • There’s a lot of sauna-related vocabulary in Finnish. See some examples here!
  • There’s nothing sexual in sauna. Though there are ”gay saunas” all over the world and sweating naked in a steamy dim room while spanking yourself with twigs may sound kind of peculiar, sauna is just for bathing and relaxation purposes. 
  • Electric sauna in the city is good, but nothing beats a wooden sauna by a lake in the middle of nowhere.
  • Experience the smoke sauna! Smoke saunas have no chimney, which means that the room will be filled with smoke. When it’s hot enough, the smoke is ventilated out and only after that you go in. It takes time and skill to prepare the smoke sauna properly and safely. 
  • Add some scent. Many shops sell different kinds of sauna scents which are basically scented oils you add in the water you throw on the sauna stove. Some typical scents are eucalyptus, birch and tar. Some throw beer on the stove (it will smell like bread).
  • Opposites attract. Run out of the steamy sauna and jump into a lake or dive into a pile of snow. Or combine these two and go ice swimming! If these outdoor activities are not possible, take a cold shower. You will feel alive.
  • Humidity is as important as the heat! A hot, dry sauna is very uncomfortable. Remember to throw water on the stove.
  • The more water you throw, the hotter it will be. Also the higher you sit, the higher the temperature.
  • Sauna is not dangerous, but there are some things you should pay attention to. Don’t stay in for too long. Don’t go to sauna if you are sick. You sweat in sauna, which means you lose fluids; remember to drink afterwards. If you have heart problems, avoid sudden temperature changes. 
  • Sauna makes you relaxed. It is not recommended to go before exercising; it’s not dangerous, but you will feel lazy. 
  • Have a beer afterwards. It’s just a tradition.