sauce beat

The Types as People I Know (by an INFJ)

INTP

  • N e r d
  • doesn’t know what’s going on 90% of the time
  • literally one of the most learned people I know but always acts like they don’t know even the simplest thing
  • cinnamon roll
  • also incredibly humble and always willing to learn more
  • surprisingly good at sports 
  • conversations either die in 2 seconds or go on for 21 hours, there is no in between
  • only wants everybody to get along but doesn’t know how

INFP

  • F I
  • not everything in your life wants to challenge your Fi or attack your values, relax mate
  • super reserved, like, needs a 8-year friendship, two empty bottles of wine, a broken heart and for it to be either 2 or 3 am to finally open up a little
  • that weird friend with the weird interests™
  • impossibly unease with feelings, especially other people’s 
  • has very strong opinions about everything
  • devoted crack shipper
  • loyal af, they will die before stabbing you in the back

ENFP

  • never runs out of conversation topics
  • head in the clouds 24/7
  • their Si will remember everything you did wrong forever so think twice before pissing them off
  • seems random but give them a second and the’ll show you that they were actually on topic the whole time
  • Your Fi-Te will hurt someone some day, speaking your mind about everything is not always the right choice
  • a child, a literal child: hold their hand when you hang out because they could literally get lost in a 5 feet room 

ENFJ

  • thinks they know everything about you even if you never exchanged a word with them 
  • secretly judging you
  • the definition of rushing to conclusions cause no, it’s not INFJs: we have been wrong the whole time
  • will try to save you somehow
  • you don’t know it yet, but you definitely need saving. just accept it
  • cute and caring on the outside, shrewd mastermind on the inside
  • currently tending to 12347876 humanitarian projects but still looking for more

ESFJ

  • too cute asdfghjkl
  • always clueless but gets away with it because cute
  • could befriend a rock
  • children, they are always surrounded by children
  • secretly santa
  • if they haven’t lost every single one of their possessions yet is only because they surround themselves with Te users
  • transparent and pure in a scary way like, holy shit, how can you wear your heart on your sleeve all the time like that???
  • will cry because other people are crying

ISFJ

  • the mom friend™
  • their Si is scary
  • soft on the outside, more organized than an obsessive compulsive ESTJ on the inside
  • most stubborn person I know like, try to change their mind, just try, you won’t succeed, you cannot succeed
  • would cut off their own hand rather than hurt your feelings
  • master of small talk
  • cares for you by micromanaging your life with a smile
  • Ne will not kill you, if you dye your walls a different color for the first time in 34 years it will not be the end of the world, I promise

ISFP

  • sugar and spice and everything nice
  • also long walks in the woods and exercising at first light
  • restless and peaceful at the same time, they are what I believe nirvana must feel like
  • you never know what goes on inside their head: mass murder? the cure for cancer? recipes for creative pasta sauces? beats me
  • cute and genuine, only wants to have a good time but extremely chill about it
  • has 4.0 gpa but still dismisses it as ‘nothing important’

ISTP

  • too cool for you™
  • chill and detached
  • world war iii and nuclear explosions could be raging outside but they would still have their breakfast, shower, and wear comfy clothes like nothing’s happening
  • feelings? what feelings? 
  • their Ti’s laziness saved their life more times than they know
  • occasionally prone to philosophical conversations
  • likes to be obnoxious just to be obnoxious but actually cares v deeply about you and your feelings 

ESTP

  • chill, so chill all the time, give me some of your chill please
  • how can you trust the moment like that??? how can you rush into things without a second thought?
  • poker face master 
  • busy all the time, a free second is a lost second
  • has no idea what they’re doing but still looks like they’ve got this 100%
  • likes to muse about abstract concepts but loses interest pretty soon
  • “relax. everything’s fine” they said before everything started being NOT fine
  • never listens to elders
  • procrastinates life changing decisions like a pro

ESFP

  • the friend you need
  • will rationalize all of your problems and then take you out for shopping and dinner to cheer you up
  • outspoken and blunt like o m g you are hurting other people’s feelings!
  • makes life changing decisions in 2.0 seconds
  • “i’m bored, let’s do something”
  • name a tv series. they’ve watched it. name a film. they’ve watched it. name a book. they’ve read it. they do nothing but engage in media consumption
  • will always pretend they’re fine
  • works only on Te induced panic

ESTJ

  • wants you to go straight to the point
  • could socialize with a rock
  • meets people they know wherever they go, has probably acquaintances on the moon too
  • why do i always feel like I did something wrong when I’m with you?
  • so organized, so reliable, so strong, so emotionally repressed
  • will panic if things don’t go as planned, Ne is a bitch
  • surprisingly creative and a very very good listener, also humble
  • will never ever tell you how they feel
  • always gets your shit together for you. you are welcome

ENTJ

  • kinda scary
  • always wants more, perfection can be perfectioned
  • takes everything as a competition
  • they’ve played all the videogames you can think of. name one. they played it, they owned it, they established the new national record
  • probably a serial killer 
  • so smart asdfghhjkl
  • are they serious? are they joking? are they secretly planning your murder? you will never know
  • every time they smile, a puppy dies
  • i admire your hold on Se, like yes tell that bitch who’s boss

INTJ

  • social situation? what social situation?
  • they know, they always know. they’ve known it all along. listen to them or have them tell you they knew for the next 46 years. up to you
  • sexually attracted to calendars and planners
  • they probably own a death note but are too lazy to use it. for now.
  • systematical nerd
  • a w k w a r d a s h e l l 
  • can’t handle conversations with more than one person at a time
  • has 74 different tumblr blogs, one for each of their various interests. either tags everything or tags nothing

INFJ

  • everything must have a deeper meaning, things are always a metaphor for something else
  • probably knows everything about your life dreams and secret fears and ambitions but forgot about your birthday 3 seconds after you told them the date
  • clumsy af, never leave them alone, they can’t care for themselves
  • will make people happy at any cost but in their own way with their own time
  • ends up making people AND themselves unhappy in the process
  • cannot talk for the life of them but writes beautifully
  • craves deep connections and tea
  • wants to save the world someday but is content with just imagining it for now

ISTJ

  • knows what they wanted to do with their life since they were 4
  • is slowly getting there
  • bitter and sarcastic like a grumpy Victorian old lady
  • hardcore shipper
  • created 15 power point presentations to prove that JohnLock is canon
  • gravitates toward chocolate and mechanical pencils
  • that one fanwriter you adore
  • has vintage but amazing fashion sense, their hair and makeup is always on point

ENTP

  • chaotic tsundere 
  • had a feeling, once 
  • has currently 459 open tabs and it’s not even the most they’ve ever had
  • let’s spend the next ten years discussing science together please
  • always knows the best way to make fun of someone but use themselves as favorite target
  • played devil’s advocate just to piss people off so many times they can no longer tell when they’re playing devil’s advocate but people still get pissed so everything’s good i guess
  • “yes but what if-”
  • doesn’t know where whores go
Witches’ Remedies & Painkillers

from PaganHeart.co.uk

*IF YOU HAVE A SERIOUS OR RECURRING MEDICAL AFFLICTION YOU SHOULD SEE A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL IMMEDIATELY. THESE REMEDIES ARE FOR MINOR AILMENTS AND TEMPORARY PAIN RELIEF.

ALSO PLEASE BE AWARE OF YOUR OWN ALLERGIES OR SENSITIVITIES WHEN IT COMES TO HERBS AND OINTMENTS*

(IMPORTANT: Herbal preparations should never be boiled in aluminum vessels! Use only copper, earthenware or pyrex to avoid contamination of the medicines. Please follow all directions carefully!)

ANIMAL BITES (MINOR WOUNDS) - The powdered root of angelica (gathered when the moon is in Leo, preferably)mixed with a bit of pitch and laid on the biting of dogs, or any other creature, helps to cleanse the open wound and makes it heal more quickly.

ANXIETY - A tea made from catnip, chamomile or skullcap helps to relieve anxiety and nervousness.

ARTERIOSCLEROSIS (HARDENING OF THE ARTERIES) - Combine one pint of grain alcohol with one ounce of powdered dried Hawthorne berries. This tincture should be given in doses ranging from one to 15 drops. (NOTE: Although hawthorne is non-toxic, it can produce dizziness if taken in large doses)

ASTHMA - Place the soft fuzzy leaves of the mullein plant in a teapot with hot water and inhale the steam through the spout to relieve the symptoms. Another preventative against mild attacks calls for one tablespoon of sunflower oil taken at night before going to bed. A brew of skunk cabbage, garlic, onion and honey was favored by many witches as a remedy for bronchial asthma. A very old asthma remedy used by the Native American calls for the smoking of ground red clover blossoms. The leaves of the California gum plant combined with those of the stramonium were also smoked.

ATHLETE’S FOOT - Rub onion juice between the toes two or three times daily until the condition disappears.

BACKACHE - A tea of nettle or rosinweed is recommended for aching backs by many witches.

Keep reading

🌞Happy sunny Saturday!!! Before my c25k workout, I’m gonna make 116oz of vegetarian low fat, low calorie, whole, clean Italian spaghetti sauce. Costs about $7 to make. Or $16 if you don’t have 8 pint Ball Mason jars yet. Lol

- Eight (8) 14.5oz cans of Italian diced tomatoes with basil, oregano and garlic
- ½ vidalia onion, chopped
- 1 large green pepper, chopped
- 2 cloves of garlic
- 1 tbsp Italian seasoning
- ½ tbsp black pepper
- 1 tbsp stevia in the raw
- 1 tbsp olive oil
- ¼ cup of ricotta cheese

Heat the olive oil in a 5+ qt. pot and add the minced garlic, chopped onion and chopped green pepper. Saute and stir for 10 minutes.

then add all the tomatoes, black pepper, Italian seasoning and sugar.

Stirring every 20-30 minutes as you bring it to a low boil for 1.5 to 2 hours. Do not cover the pot at this time. It must reduce.

After 1.5 to 2 hours, cover pot with lid. Reduce heat to low and simmer for another 1.5 to 2 hours. Stir occasionally and always put the lid back on afterwards

After that, add the cheese, stir in. Remove from heat.

Put eight (8) 1-pint Mason Jars in a cool bath of water. Put the hot spaghetti sauce in each jar and cover tight. Careful not to burn yourself.

Like jarring homemade jelly, the hot steam from the sauce will make the lids pop up (you will hear the lid “pop”), telling you that the air-tight seal is in place. When jars are cool enough, store in the pantry for use later.

This makes 8 pint jars of sauce… For only $7. Or, 16 cups of sauce. Stats in pic are based on 8oz of sauce (1 cup)

Beat that!

Off to walk and jog C25K!

i exit mcdonald’s and get in my car before a mob of greasy unkempt redditors swarms my vehicle and violently drags me out of the window. “please stop. all i got was coffee” i plead, only to be drowned out by the infernal chanting of “SAUCE! SAUCE! SAUCE!“. they beat the fuck out of me and when i wake up everything i have is gone.

2

Macaroni Meat Pie

6-8 servings

This filling casserole dish includes both spaghetti sauce and white sauce so what could be better?

Ingredients

2 cups macaroni, uncooked

White sauce:

¼ cup butter

¼ cup flour

½ teaspoon salt

2 cups milk

2 eggs, beaten

1 cup grated Parmesan cheese


Meat sauce:

1 ½ pounds ground beef

1 medium onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 ½ teaspoons salt

½ tablespoon oregano

2 cups of your favorite spaghetti sauce


1/3 cup Panko bread crumbs

Directions

Cook macaroni and drain.

While the macaroni is cooking start the meat sauce.  Cook the beef, onion, garlic and salt in a large skillet.  Stir until the beef is brown and crumbled.  Drain off excess fat.  Stir in the spaghetti sauce and oregano, mix well and heat through. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 375°.

Start the white sauce.  Melt the butter in a saucepan.  Stir in the flour and salt. Cook 1 minute stirring constantly.  Slowly add the milk.  Stir until the mixture thickens and bubbles.  Pour some of the white sauce into the beaten eggs (so the eggs don’t turn into scrambled eggs in the hot sauce) beating constantly. Return the mixture to the pan and cook for about 1 minute.  Combine the sauce, cooked macaroni and Parmesan cheese.

Sprinkle a 9 inch deep dish pie pan that has been sprayed with a non-stick spray with half the bread crumbs.  Place about 2/3 of the macaroni sauce mixture into the pie pan.  Spread the macaroni onto the bottom and up the sides.  Spoon the meat mixture into the center.  Top with the remaining macaroni and sauce. Sprinkle the top with the rest of the bread crumbs.

Bake about 30 minutes.  Let the pie sit for about 10 minutes and then cut in wedges and serve it.

Notes: 

Add additional spices to your taste.

3

i’m surprised it was chocolate sauce and not like, fermented porcupine blood or something.

Unpretty Rapstar 1 Review

I I just had to write on this show because it is GOLD OMG GOLD I TELL YOU! BETWEEN jessi cheetah and jolly v i dont know who is my main anymore. This show has me in stitches just in the first couple minutes. ok lets begin.

1. EVERYONE LOOK AT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS WHILE WATCHING THIS SHOW IT IS PURE COMEDY and FOCUS ON THE ENTRANCES OF EACH PERSON. 

     Cheetah’s face when people walk in is the best shit on this planet. Like she looked at everyone like they were the most basic bitch on the damn planet…. actually the whole damn milky way. cheetah was like these girls aint even in my damn lane much less the damn freeway. they are still on the local with stop lights…..jollys face when tymee walked in had me on the damn floor! i already know her thought bubble read exactly these words,“dis bitch is literally my fucking shadow; she follows me everywhere.” And before that when they asked her if she thought tymee was coming or something along those lines and she replied “are we 1+1.” PURE GOLD SOUNDBITE AHAHAHA. Tymee walked in like guessssss whooooooos baccccccccck. and i started laughing all over again. P.S. laughing this much as an asthma is going to get dangerous but this show is that awesome. Jessi walked in like queen is here and people automatically knew who she was. Cheetah looked at lil cham like huh? when she walked in ahahahaha. And there is a reason why they let Cheetah in first LMFAO! To me, she is one of the baddest if not THE baddest in the whole group. When Jessi said it was a SMTM reunion, it was nothing but the truth because it truly was. They literally casted every popular female from every season of SMTM. 

2.JIMIN

    Yes I am giving this child her own section. I am reserving a place in my prayers for this girl cause either she can a. get eaten ALIVE or b. rise to the occasion and show us some good shit……but after I saw that cypher…..ooooooooo boy…..this is when i wish it was kind of like smtm in that you have mentors but this show is DEFINITELY not that. Ugh im scared for her to be honest. Everytime she raps I get that embarassed for your friend feeling. Like when your friend thinks he is an awesome rapper, gets on stage, and isnt very good. But I do hope she rises to the occasion. And im not gonna lie when they got to the roast of jimin in the room i was like……..damn………….

3. Jessi

    Ok here is why Jessi is one of my favorites. I am biased when it come to her because I love Lucky J a lot and she is from my neck of the woods in the states. But i love how she doesnt give a fuck because SHE DOESNT HAVE ANYTHING TO LOSE….i feel like she has lost and gained so much in the 10 years she has been in this business that she has nothing to lose. I love that she isnt afraid to SPEAK. If she has something on mind that she thinks needs to be addressed, she will ADDRESS THAT SHIT. And to be honest, I loved her snippet of a dis rap you know CAUSE IT SHOOK UP THE GAME THAT NEEDED TO GET SHOOK. it really is a competition. Wake up. Of course, SMTM was more friendly of course, but this one is going to be more cut throat and you know why THERE ARE BARELY ANY FEMALES IN THE K HIP HOP GAME at least not on a full blown known status other than the queen herself Yoon Mi Rae. You have to fight to stay in this male dominated realm of k hip hop. They have to want it, and that little rap made them upset and im happy it did because hopefully that will bring out the grittiness that I want from these women. We not aegyo-ing this shit up. Leave that cute bullshit at the door.  Yall suppose to slay with words, bring on the attitude and fuck up the damn stage. 

.4. Lil Cham

Ok im pissed with Lil Cham has been giving me so far because she is actually a decent rapper. I looked at the cypher like is this the same Lil Cham I know. All I know is that she BETTER not sell herself short or ill be pissed for and at her. 

5. Kisum

To me she is the dark horse of this competition. I actually like what she did in the cypher too. She also had that bat and I thought she was gonna break the table for 2.5 seconds but then she lightly tapped and I started dying LMFAO. 

6. Jidam

Yup SMTM reunion remember. There aint no dude to help her with her raps this time around, but she did improve so yay! 

7.Tymee

I wasnt a fan of Tymee during SMTM so I was pleasantly surprised with her rap. Im waiting on her to fully pull me in, but we got a couple weeks and im starting to warm up to her for the first time in a year….

8. I FREAKING LOVE JOLLY 

She is one of my favorites as well. I have her mixtapes and she is just the bomb sauce. That bullshit beat they gave her for cypher made me upset but she did what she could with it. And I also know she has way more in her than what the cypher showed. I cant WAIT to see what more she brings to the table.

9. Cheetah

     I saved the best for last.  WOOOOOOO I LOVE THIS WOMAN YES! omg like…..yes…..CHEETAH and she hands down owned the cypher and no one else was up to par not even close…..in my book Cheetah has this in the damn bag and I would love to see her win…Like seriously see her win! The best thing about Cheetah is that she is a woman of very few words and when she opens her mouth ITS PERFECT. She doesnt need anything else because she lets her raps speak FOR her, and its absolutely wonderful and refreshing. That is literally why I am watching the show in general. Once again, I really hope she sweeps this like a swiffer and walks off with the trophy. 

For my last note, DONT LIE AND TELL ME THE SHADE ON THIS SHOW ISNT MAKING YOU CATCH YOUR EVERLASTING LIFE! ^^

6

IT’S KIND OF WORK-RELATED
1.15   //   1.20

Imagine Kenvi making a pizza. Complete with the Error ballerina spin when they toss up the dough.

Zootopia / Robin Hood fanfiction Take a Stand Chapter Six- The Morning After...

Here’s the fanfiction link https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12105029/1/Take-A-Stand

(AN/ Hey Guys it’s Garouge AKA Crewefox here with another chapter of Take a Stand, thank you so much for all the reviews and faves for this fan fic, I can’t believe I’ve hit over a 100 faves by chapter 5 thank you. So without further ado let’s get cracking with this chapter…)

Chapter 6- The Morning after.

Judy turned over in the bed hoping to entwine herself around Nick but only found an empty space; she slowly opened her purple eyes to have her disappointment confirmed “Nick?” she yawned before letting her sleepy eyes focus on the nightstand on Nick’s side, there was a yellow post it note on the small lamp. Judy reached over and ripped the note off the lamp and read it ‘Morning Carrots, woke up early and found that all of your clothes have been shredded to ribbons by yours truly so I took your keys and heading to your place to get you your spare uniform. I’ll bring back muffins and coffee, stay beautiful- Love Nick XXX’ Judy finished reading this and let out a small titter before stretching in the spacious king sized bed. All the memories of last night’s intimacy raced through her mind and she felt giddy as remembered being so close with Nick, that was the greatest night of her life and not just because of the love making it was because she had declared her love for the mammal she loved most in the world and he felt the same; not to say that love making wasn’t a highlight. She had confided in Nick that she had five boyfriends and that she slept with three of them but her sixth, newest boyfriend was the best sexual partner she had ever had.

Nick had been so passionate and energetic whilst being attentive and caring during sex and Judy felt free to be herself to let her emotions and lust take hold of her, in laments terms they were in synch. Judy had that warm fuzzy feeling in her heart when hope and love are the overriding emotions, she out a love filled sigh as she got out the bed and quickly realised she wasn’t wearing anything so she went over to Nick’s wardrobe and pulled open the draws at the bottom to find Nick’s ZPD t-shirt before heading to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later Judy emerged from the bathroom after a nice shower, humming a tune to herself as she walked into the open plan kitchen/ living room area dressed in Nick’s ZPD T-shirt that was way too big for her. Judy went over to the fridge opened it up and took out a carton of orange juice from the shelf and drank it straight it from the carton, she had seen Nick do it so she assumed he wouldn’t mind. Judy strolled over to the sofa and flopped onto it, noticing the neatly folded pile of her shredded clothing from last night’s 'Activities’, she lifted up her knickers (panties to you North Americans) to find claw and teeth marks had tore through the fabric and thought comically He’s buying me some new underwear she retrieved the TV remote from it’s usual resting place on the coffee table and flicked it on. The TV station that came on screen was ZNN and the ever presentable Fabine Growley was at the news desk reading the headlines “Election fever has hit the city with first polls for mayoral vote released; the young conservative DA Raymond Bastille leads with 59% whilst his opponent, the liberal councilman Trevor Moon, trails with 41%. Pundits have been quick to point out that the rally outside city hall showed a division in public opinion over the rights of interspecies couples and that the election may be decided on this issue.”

Judy felt her ears go droopy upon hearing this, she wished Nick was at next to her to give her some words of encouragement but instead she was alone with her thoughts 59% of the city want to vote for that jerk Bastille; unbelievable Judy thought do that many mammals really want inters not to marry? Or do they just hate Inters full stop? Judy could feel her mind turning to sad thoughts and shook it off there was no way she was losing her happy buzz from the night before, she was in a relationship that was something to be happy about. Why waste her time dwelling on what other mammals would think of her new boyfriend? She loved Nick and he loved her back, that’s all that mattered.

“In other news; billionaire philanthropists Bianca and Bernard Gabor were rescued last night after being kidnapped by two high profile crime bosses,” Fabine read out “the M.M gang apparently swooped in to save the day and dropped off the well respected couple at ZPD’s precinct 1 before taking a stolen car on a joy ride and throwing out millions of dollars throughout the Rainforest District.” Judy could picture the pandemonium within the precinct with this craziness of the M.M gang’s latest escapade and was kind of thankful she wasn’t in work until this afternoon. Just then the unmistakeable sound of keys jingling at the front door made Judy’s ears spring up, it must be Nick Judy thought happily before grabbing her torn knickers and announcing in a theatrical voice “You Nick Wilde are taking me shopping,” walking towards the door, holding up her ripped underwear up for her boyfriend to see “you may have shredded my panties but on the plus side you get to buy me some sexy lingerie.”

The door unlocked and opened to reveal a very uncomfortable looking Marian Wilde standing in the doorway holding a plastic carrier bag in one paw and a pizza box and small container of fried crickets in the other, Judy let out a loud gasp when she saw Nick’s mom and had never felt more embarrassed in her entire life, she could feel the skin under her fur heat up from the embarrassment and felt a bead of sweat roll down her temple, the two shocked women were quiet for about ten seconds until Marian said in timid voice “I’m going to close the door and pretend like the last thirty seconds never happened, is that ok with you dear?”

“That would be great.” Judy panted, close to hyperventilating with anxiety. The door shut and Judy quickly threw the knickers along with her other ripped up clothes behind the sofa.

After a moment Marian walked opened the door again wearing a smile and seemingly forgetting the last half a minute “Judy, what a surprise.” Marian smiled at the still flustered rabbit.

“M-Marian, good morning.” Judy stuttered, walking over to the vixen.

“I just came round to drop off some of Nick’s uniforms that needed sewing,” Marian continued, putting the plastic bag full of

ZPD uniforms on the kitchen counter along with a box of cold veggie supreme pizza and cold fried crickets “and I found these fast food boxes with Nick’s name on in the elevator so I thought I best bring them in.”

“Oh….” Judy sounded, remembering the events that transpired in the elevator the night before “I guess it’s a junk food breakfast.”

“My thoughts exactly dear,” Marian agreed, going over to a kitchen cupboard and retrieving a bottle of hot sauce, nabbing a slice of pizza and applied a few drops of sauce to a slice of pizza before taking a big old bite of it “lovely; you can’t beat hot sauce on day old pizza.” She said with a full mouth.

Judy followed suit and grabbed a slice of pizza before Marian handed over the hot sauce bottle and Judy proceeded to spritz her slice with chilli laden sauce before munching it, her taste buds and Amethyst eyes came to life as she cooed “So tasty.”

“So,” Marian continued to talk whilst feasting on her pizza slice “I trust you took my advice about taking charge seeing as I have a very strange case of deja vu going on; with you in my son’s apartment and dressed in his shirt.”

Judy looked a little shy but couldn’t help but smile back “I suppose.”

“I suppose?” Marian mimicked playfully “Mr dear Judy I need a straightforward answer; are you my kit’s girlfriend?”

“Yes.” Judy said proudly which brought a wide and joyous grin to Marian’s face.

“Splendid.” Marian yipped, looking genuinely happy “Nick is lucky to have you.”

“I’m lucky to have him,” Judy replied “he’s my dumb fox.”

“Hahahaha,” Marian tried to suppress her laugh and failed “dumb fox, he likes to think he’s smart but is a big dummy just like his father.”

“Marian,” Judy spoke with a careful voice “it means a lot that you approve of me, not everyone is so open minded.”

Marian let out a sigh and walked over to Judy and said in dull tone “Sorry about this.” Before pinching one of Judy’s long velvety ears.

“Oww! What the heck!?” Judy squealed, rubbing her now sore ear.

“Sorry my dear but I needed to teach you a lesson; never apologise for who you are and never thank people for accepting who you are, you just be you.” Marian stated with authority.

Judy forgot the pain and took in the words spoken to her, they were blunt but kind and they caused a spring of feelings to burst from her “You’re the best Marian.” Judy gushed before hugging the vixen.

Marian let out a mini chuckle before saying in a kidding tone “It has been said before.”

“How did you get in?” Judy asked, this had been bugging her.

“Nick gave me a spare key whilst you were in the shower the other day.” Marian explained “Speaking of Nicholas, where is he?”

“He’s gone to my apartment to pick up my spare uniform.” Judy answered, picking up another slice of pizza.

“You two don’t have a day off? What a shame.” Marian sympathised.

“We get a day off on Wednesday and the weekend so it’s not so bad.” Judy added.

“Lucky you, I’m on a late shift today but the rest of the week it’s 8am til 6pm.” Marian replied.

“What do you do for a living?” Judy asked back.

“I’m a IT technician at St. Zoo High school in the Sherwood district.” Marian confirmed.

“Oh yeah I heard of that school, it’s supposed to be really good there.” Judy commented.

“The kids are great.” Marian smiled before her and Judy’s ears pricked up upon hearing a new set of keys unlock the door.

Nick opened the door, unaware of his Mom’s presence, carrying a small a small gym bag containing Judy’s spare uniform and a cardboard double cup holder with two cups of Snarlbucks coffee, however as he saw the two most important women in his life in the kitchen he gave an awkward look and muttered “Busted.”

000

Victoria Todd was a vixen that many of her employees and business rivals feared, you don’t get to be the CEO and majority shareholder of one of the world’s biggest banks by playing nice, she was fierce with both her words and her actions but the mammals who were close to her knew this was an act; Victoria was kind and gentle when not in public and doted over her daughter like any other loving mother. And like any normal parent she was dropping her little girl off at school, the only difference was that they were in the back of a limousine along with Victoria’s personal assistant, Grace, a well dressed Panda who was swiping away at her smartphone. “So what lessons have you got today?” Victoria asked her daughter.

“I have math and English in the morning then art and music in the afternoon.” Luna replied in a bright voice, the red fox kit was in her posh private school uniform that consisted of a green blazer with the school’s insignia stitched on, white blouse, a red tie and a red tartan skirt.

“Ah music is your favourite class.” Victoria smiled, noticing her baby holding her violin case.

“Yeah and it’s Oliva’s favourite to!” Luna added with excitement.

“Oliva can play an instrument?” Victoria pondered. Oliva was Luna’s best friend and a mouse so it was hard to picture the little rodent playing a musical instrument.

“Uh huh, she plays a keyboard.” Luna nodded.

“A full size one?” Victoria scoffed.

“No, it’s a special mouse sized one.” Luna explained with a giggle.

The limo came to a stop outside the impressive red brick building with other pupils going off into very prestigious school. “Ok baby have a good day and I’ll be here to pick you up at three o'clock.” Victoria said, kissing her daughter on the cheek.

“Bye Mommy,” Luna beamed, as she opened the door “bye Grace.”

“See you later Luna.” Grace responded, not looking up from her phone. Luna closed the limo door behind her and skipped into the school grounds, Victoria gave a worried look as she saw her six year old daughter disappeared into the building, the Vixen knew how hard it was being a fox in a private school and how mean bullies could be but Luna was only in first grade and seemed to get along with everyone in her class, the sad thing was that the older kids get the meaner they become.

“Stop that.” Grace warned.

“Stop what?” Victoria asked, still looking at the school as the unseen chauffer began to drive towards the next destination.

“Giving that worried gaze, you do it every morning when we drop Luna at school, she’ll be fine.” Grace said finally looking up from her phone.

“I know but I ca-ARGH!” Victoria let out a yelp of pain and put a paw on her stomach.

“Vicky!” Grace reacted, rushing over to her boss.

“I’m fine.” Victoria lied, grinding her teeth with pain.

“No you’re not, c'mon we’re going to the hospital.” Grace dismissed, about to tell the chauffer to head to the nearest ER.

“I’m already dying Grace, there’s nothing more they can do.” Victoria winced.

Grace’s shoulders slumped and whispered “Don’t talk like that.”

“What? It’s the truth.” Victoria sounded bitter, she could taste blood in her mouth, her gums were bleeding again.

“You’re my best friend, I don’t want to think about you leaving.” Grace replied sitting beside the black furred fox, tears welling up in the Panda’s eyes.

“No crying,” Victoria mocked berated “we still have a job to do.”

“…Right.” Grace muttered before going back to a serious tone “Your meeting with the board of directors is at ten am then you have the potential buyers at eleven.”

“Good, I should be home by lunchtime.” Victoria sounded positive despite blood dripping from the edge of her mouth.

“What are you going to tell the board?” Grace asked, passing her boss and best friend a handkerchief.

Victoria took the hanky and wiped away the blood before answering “I’m dying and I want to sell my shares of the company.”

“Blunt.” Grace half laughed.

“Aren’t I always?” Victoria chuckled, it hurt to laugh. “Say I need you do to some digging for me whilst I’m in the meeting.”

“Sure, what do you need me to find out?” Grace asked.

“I want you to look into a cop, check that he’s not dirty.” Victoria instructed.

“What’s his name?” Grace asked further, getting her phone out to make a note of the name.

“Nick Wilde.” Victoria answered.

000

Marian Wilde was elated that her boy had got himself a girlfriend however she did give a look of disapproval when they told her that they wouldn’t be going public just yet, not until they figured out what to do with work and Judy told her parents she was in a interspecies relationship. But despite her feelings on hiding the matter she congratulated the new couple and agreed to keep their secret.

Judy and Nick arrived at precinct 1 to find the main lobby busy with both ZPD officers and MCB agents rushing around. Nick had handed over the two morrigan tablets to the crime lab and had sent word to Bogo about the new drug and that the Hood had passed on the intel through Mr Big. The chief agreed that this was a top priority but also that the MCB might want in on it, seeing as it was the M.M gang that found the drugs, he set up a meeting in his office for 3pm so Nick and Judy decided to plough through some paperwork they had been putting off.

Judy came out of the bathroom stall and went over to the sink designed for smaller mammals to wash her paws, she turned on the tap and began to clean her small grey paws when the door opened and in walked a very stressed looking Skye Winter talking into her phone “Yes sir…I understand that it looks bad.” She spoke, trying to remain professional but her voice was strained “There’s no need to come to Zootopia sir….I can fix this….yes sir, see you in a couple of days.” She hung up and gave a defeated sigh and buried her face in her white fluffy paws.

“Rough day?” Judy asked with sympathy.

Skye looked down at Judy and replied “Sorry you had to hear that, my boss is on my tail over this M.M case.”

“It’s ok, we all have crappy days.” Judy tried to perk up the artic fox.

“Yeah well this was supposed to be a great day, I had it all planed out but nooooo the Hood and Little John go on a rescue mission and throw away ten million dollars.” Skye griped, getting out her mascara from her suit pocket.

“What did you have planned?” Judy asked in a friendly manner, turning off the tap and grabbing some paper towels and dried her paws.

“It’s my boyfriend’s birthday today, we were going to take the day off and enjoy the city but now we both have to work.” Skye moaned, looking in the mirror and applying her mascara.

“Your boyfriend’s an agent to?” Judy guessed.

“Yeah, he’s been working so hard lately and he needs a day of zero stress.” Skye answered, screwing the top back on her mascara and returning it to her pocket.

Judy unconsciously twitched her nose and caught a smell coming off Skye, one that she had smelled quite a few times and asked “Um is Jack Savage your boyfriend?”

Skye looked impressed that Judy had managed to figure it out “How’d you know?” she asked back.

“You’ve got buck rabbit scent on you and seeing as Agent Savage is the only bunny at the MCB it’s pretty simple.” Judy explained her reasoning.

“You seem pretty cool with inters, not that many bunnies support us.” Skye commented.

“I’m not most bunnies.” Judy added “Beside Jack isn’t the only rabbit that’s into foxes.”

Skye’s eyes grew with surprise as she garbled shyly “I’m flattered but like I said I’m in a relationship and I’m not Bi.”

Judy looked up at Skye with bewilderment for a couple of seconds before the penny dropped “No, no, no that’s not what I meant, my boyfriend is a fox.” She corrected quickly.

“What!?” A voice happily shrieked from the doorway, Skye and Judy looked towards the bathroom door to see Nala wearing the toothiest grin imaginable.

“Oh sweet cheese and crackers.” Judy grumbled, she was doing great at keeping her new boyfriend a secret.

Nala hurried over to Judy and interrogated hastily with a smile “Is it Nick? Do you love him? Have you two done it yet? Tell me! I need details!”

“Uhhh,” Judy sounded, overwhelmed slightly “Yes it’s Nick, yes I love him and it’s none of your business if we’ve had sex yet.”

“That’s a yes then.” Skye smiled, suppressing a laugh.

“I gotta’ tell Clawhauser.” Nala said gleefully, getting out her phone to text the cheetah.

“Oh no you don’t.” Judy halted, snatching the phone out of the lioness’ paws.

“Hey, no fair.” Nala whined.

“Me and Nick are trying to keep this low profile, if the chief finds out he’ll split us up so please keep your mouth shut.” Judy instructed handing the phone back to Nala.

“Fine.” Nala pouted before saying “I’m happy for the two of you, I’ve been rooting for you guys.”

“Thanks.” Judy said meekly, glad to hear these words.

000

3pm came and Judy and Nick walked into Bogo’s office to find some others than the chief was waiting for them the trio of MCB operatives Skye, Jack and Nottingham were there along with Nala who looked confused to why she was attending this meeting. “Hopps, Wilde.” Bogo acknowledged the two as they came in and shut the door behind them “Let’s get down to business shall we?”

“Yes sir.” Judy agreed with her partner nodding.

“Last night Bianca and Bernard Gabor were kidnapped at the opera house and were subsequently rescued by the M.M gang, this one action has provided us with a lot of intel.” Bogo began, putting on his reading glasses and glancing at the papers on his desk.

“Yep those scumbags ain’t so mysterious anymore.” Nottingham chuckled, the shabby looking wolf showed his yellow fangs as he laughed.

“We’ve finally confirmed what species Hood and Little John are; a red fox and a grizzly bear.” Skye revealed.

Nick’s ears perked up and his fur stood on end “Hood’s a red fox?” he asked, sounding angry.

“Nick I took the statement myself; Bianca Garbor described the Hood as a red fox in his late forties to early fifties.” Jack sighed, knowing this info would distress his old friend.

“So it’s them? It’s the original M.M gang?” Nick asked, his green eyes narrowing causing Judy to look at her love with concern.

“Yes, we’ve ditched the idea that these criminals are copying the originals.” Skye answered.

“But that’s impossible, the original Hood and Little John were killed in a plane crash over 25 years ago, I read the case files and the autopsy reports.” Bogo said, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Plane crash?” Judy queried.

“The Hood and Little John had hit the three biggest banks that hold mob money in Zootopia in one night, apparently got $500 million just through cyber attacks no physical money was taken,” Nick explained, his memory as clear as his pain “anyway word got out about the Hood’s identity, that he was a red fox and the mob knew where he lived. The Hood and Little John were in a car chase all the way to the airport, they managed to fight them off the mob’s hitmen, they thought they had won, got in a private jet and went to fly away but they were shot down with a missile. I remember seeing the explosion from my window.”

“Yeah I remember that to.” Jack reminisced grimly.

“But the bodies were found in the wreckage?” Nala asked, puzzled.

“Yes but we can’t dismiss the possibility that these bodies were planted and their dental records changed.” Skye answered.

“Those sneaky bastards, I knew they weren’t dead.” Nottingham threw in.

“But back to the matter at hand,” Bogo said, clearing his throat “Mr and Mrs Gabor were kidnapped by Professor Rattigan and Madame Misdaad.”

“The same crime bosses who are flooding the streets with Morrigan?” Judy queried “Why would they want to kidnap the founders of the Rescue Aid Society?”

“Apparently they wanted to forcibly purchase some swamp lands just outside the city and were willing to pay millions for it.” Skye explained.

“Millions for a swamp?” Nala asked, knowing she wouldn’t get an answer.

“We have no idea why.” Nottingham admitted, shrugging his shoulders.

“However this has given us a lead,” Jack smiled “the M.M gang is targeting the two biggest drug syndicates in the city.”

“So we follow the drugs and we find the Hood and Little John.” Judy theorised.

“Exactly.” Jack agreed with confidence.

“So what is new drug anyway?” Nala asked, feeling out of the loop. “I’ll let out CSI explain that.” Bogo said.

“CSI?” Nick mumbled looking around to see no one else in the office.

“Down here.” A voice alerted, Nick and Judy looked towards the source of the voice, on Bogo’s desk was a mouse dressed in grey jeans and a black sweater.

“Sorry buddy didn’t see you there.” Nick apologised.

“It’s quite alright old boy,” The mouse accepted “Basil Dawson nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you I’m officer Hopps and this is officer Wilde.” Judy smiled at the well spoken mouse.

“I am quite grateful for the pills you gave me, it’s been a struggle to get a proper sample.” Basil thanked.

“So what does this Morrigan stuff do anyway?” Nick asked.

“It’s the work of that scheming rat Rattigan; arguably his greatest work yet. It’s a fast acting steroid which also gives a sense of euphoria and numbs pain.” Basil explained.

“So what’s the kicker?” Judy asked, knowing there was a side effect to all drugs.

“Rage most commonly, fits of tachycardia that can lead to heart attacks and it has a unidentified component in it that makes it addictive as heroin.” Basil explained quickly “My husband Dr. Dawson has had three bodies in the morgue in the last month killed by this drug.”

“So why are we only hearing about this drug now?” Nick asked.

“I can only assume that Rattigan and Misdaad paid off the right people to keep this under the rug, it was only made illegal a few weeks ago.” Basil offered his opinion.

“I want this crisis nipped in the bud, that’s why I’m authorising a sting operation at the Clashing Camel arena tonight.” Bogo announced.

“What’s the objective chief?” Judy asked.

“We’re going to have Wilde and Priderock undercover in the arena, looking for dealers.” Bogo explained.

“Me sir?” Nala asked, obviously excited, this was her first undercover job.

“Yes, you and Wilde mingle among the crowds and look out for suspicious behaviour. Agent Savage will also be undercover looking for the M.M gang.” Bogo elaborated.

“What about me sir?” Judy asked, sounding eager.

“Seeing as you will be the most senior ZPD officer on this operation, I want you in charge and coordinating the sting from the surveillance van, you’re too well known Hopps; a drug dealer would spot you instantly.” Bogo ordered.

“I won’t let you down sir.” Judy agreed.

“This isn’t going to work.” Nick spoke up with a shake of his head.

“Huh? Why not?” Jack asked his childhood friend.

“Who are the dealers going to sell to? The crowd, maybe? But if I was peddling a steroid I’d be dealing to the fighters.” Nick pointed out.

“We need someone backstage.” Judy realised.

“Maybe I can help with that.” A voice interrupted, everyone in the room turned to the door to see Clawhauser standing in the doorway holding a file, Nick noticed Bogo tense up as he came face to face with his ex.

“How?” Nala asked, looking at her fellow feline.

“I used to fight at that arena when I was teen.” Clawhauser answered “I know that place inside out, I know the guys who work there they’ll let me backstage.”

“That would be really helpful.” Jack replied, grateful for the extra pair of eyes.

“But you’re a desk cop, not a field one.” Bogo said, sounding a little reserved.

“Well that’s the thing,” Clawhauser said going over and handing Bogo the file “I don’t want to be on the front desk anymore.”

Nala, Nick and Judy all shared shocked looks but no one looked more surprised than the chief, he opened the file to find a department reassignment form. He looked up at the cheetah with a straight face but inside his heart was splitting in two “Fine, you’re in.” he grunted.

Ten minutes later everyone had left Bogo’s office to prepare for the sting later tonight, Bogo was looking at Clawhauser’s form and couldn’t shake off the guilt he was feeling. He needed to talk to him, to persuade him to stay before he knew Bogo had pressed the intercom button and said “Clawhauser, come up to my office.”

Less than minute later Clawhauser walked into the office and closed the door behind him “You wanted to see me chief.” He said formally.

“Sit down Ben.” Bogo requested, motioning at one of the empty chairs with his hoof.

Clawhauser sat down and crossed his arms defensively “Don’t try and talk me out of it.” He said, his anger clear on his face.

“Come on, this is ridiculous, I know we’re not a couple anymore but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.” Bogo spoke, his voice tried to be calm but came off as desperate.

“Couple? We were never a couple according to you. 'It was just about sex’ that’s what you said.” Clawhauser countered.

“I was wrong to say that, I’m sorry ok.” Bogo reacted.

“You broke my heart Mason and now I’m taking action, I’m going back into the field.” Clawhauser defied.

“Please don’t do this, I don’t want you to leave.” Bogo said, he was getting upset.

“I’m not some toy that you can treat like garbage, I loved you and all you gave me was secrets and pain.” Clawhauser let his emotions out.

“I know, I know you hate me but please don’t leave because of me.” Bogo plead, there was a lump in his throat.

Clawhauser got out of his chair and made his way towards the door whilst saying in melancholy voice “Every time I look at you I picture the life we could’ve had together, I can’t be reminded of that day after day.”

Just as Clawhauser put his paw on the door handle he felt two powerful arms wrap around his waist and hug him “Please…D-don’t go.” Bogo sobbed.

“Let go Mason,” Clawhauser sniffed, he was crying as well now “I’ve got a fight to get to.”

Reluctantly Bogo slowly released his former boyfriend and let him leave the office, after he had gone Bogo locked the door before falling to the floor in a crying mess.

(AN/ What did you guys think? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review. Next time on Take a Stand, the drug sting begins, Jack sees a old face and the M.M gang try to save the day. Please review and c ya soon…)

How to seduce a Klingon really really quickly:

1. Be able to clean-and-jerk his 500 lb fanny above your head like it ain’t no thing

2. Mess up your hair a bit while beating the sauce out of his other crewmates when they attempt to kidnap you

3. Serenade him with angry screeching that strikes terror into the hearts of all who hear it

This picture is terrible and scribbly, but a while back I saw your post about a LoZ/Star Trek AU, and this was the first thing that came to mind… So here is some hyperaggressive Pon Faar Zelda, and a slightly terrified but not totally opposed Klingon Ganondorf (Klingan? :P). I’ll probably send you more doodles of this AU since I think it’s really fun and it gave me lots of ideas for stuff to draw, and I hope you like this one! :D

(If you’re wondering about Zelda’s outfit, I couldn’t decide if I liked the Starfleet uniforms from TOS or TNG better, so I just went ahead and combined them! And if you go into fullscreen and zoom in, her pin is the Starfleet pin with an inverted triangle in the middle to make it look like the triforce. ;3)



To wake up and see a pon farr frenzied Vulcan Zelda accidentally seducing a Klingon Ganondorf by throwing him across the deck in a fit of reproductive rage in my inbox has made this a truly wonderful morning indeed.

The Skreeeee. Oh my yaaassss the Screeeee. XD

I need to do more LOZ/Trek cross over stuff. Star Trek is such an important influence in my life.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR DRAWING THIS askmissbernadette !!! XD I LOVE IT!!!

Easy Stir Fry

One of my favorite things to make is this hella easy stir fry. the ingredients are just suggestions–any vegetables can be added, really!

  • 1 thin slice of butter/teaspoon of butter substitute
  • 1 handful shredded cabbage
  • 1 cup frozen mixed vegetables (like the organic foursome from Trader Joe’s)
  • 1 egg
  • 2 tablespoons stir fry sauce/hoisin sauce

Directions:

1. beat the egg lightly in a bowl and set aside

2. melt the butter in a pan

3. saute the cabbage lightly, and add the (thawed) mixed vegetables

4. make a little space in your pan and pour the beaten egg. scramble. it’s okay if it gets mixed into the vegetables, just make sure it cooks all the way

5. spoon your sauce over everything, turn the heat off, and mix well. enjoy!

Brown Butter Pumpkin Cupcakes with Salted Caramel Frosting

Yield: 15 cupcakes

The best pumpkin cupcakes you will ever eat!

ingredients:

For the Brown Butter Pumpkin Cupcakes:

¾ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 2/3 cups all-purpose Gold Medal flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

¼ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

1 cup canned pumpkin puree (not pie filling)

1 cup packed light brown sugar

½ cup granulated sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 large eggs

For the Salted Caramel Frosting:

Salted Caramel Sauce:

2 cups granulated sugar

12 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature, cut into pieces

1 cup heavy cream, at room temperature

1 tablespoon fleur de sel or Maldon sea salt flakes

Frosting:

¾ cup butter, at room temperature

2 cups powdered sugar

½ cup salted caramel sauce

directions:

1. To make the brown butter pumpkin cupcakes: preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Line muffin cups with paper liners and set aside.

2. In a saucepan, melt the butter over medium-low heat and continue to cook, swirling occasionally, until butter turns golden brown, Skim foam from top, and remove from heat. Pour into a bowl to stop the cooking, leaving any burned sediment behind; let cool.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. In another bowl, whisk together the pumpkin puree, sugars, eggs, vanilla extract, and brown butter. Add the flour mixture, and whisk until just combined.

4. Divide batter evenly among lined cups, filling each three-quarters full. Bake, rotating tins halfway through, until a cake tester inserted in centers comes out clean, about 20 minutes. Transfer pans to a wire cooling rack and cool completely before removing cupcakes.

5. While the cupcakes are cooling, make the salted caramel frosting. First, make the salted caramel sauce. Make sure you have all of the ingredients ready. Once you start the caramel sauce you have to pay close attention so you don’t burn it. To begin, heat the sugar over medium high-heat in the bottom of a heavy 2-3 quart saucepan. When the sugar starts to melt, start whisking the sugar. The sugar will clump up, but keep whisking. It will continue to melt. When the sugar is melted, stop whisking. You can swirl the pan to move the sugar around.

6. Continue cooking the sugar until it reaches a deep amber color. Make sure you watch the pan very closely. This is where it is easy to burn the caramel. You want the caramel to reach 350 degrees F. If you are new to making caramel, I suggest using a thermometer.

7. As soon as the sugar reaches the dark amber color, carefully add the butter. Whisk until butter is melted.

8. Remove the pan from the heat and carefully pour in the heavy cream. Whisk until cream is incorporated and caramel is smooth. Whisk in the fleur de sel or Maldon sea salt flakes.

9. Let the caramel sauce cool for about 10 minutes in the pan. Pour the caramel into a large mason jar and cool to room temperature.

10. To make the frosting: beat the butter in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment on medium-high speed until light in color and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Reduce speed to low, add powdered sugar, and mix until completely incorporated. Turn off the mixer, and then add the salted caramel sauce. Beat frosting on low to combine, and then increase to medium-high and beat until airy and thoroughly mixed, about 2 minutes.

11. Frost the cooled pumpkin cupcakes with the salted caramel frosting and and drizzle cupcakes with extra salted caramel sauce, if desired.

Note-you can use store bought salted caramel sauce, but I highly recommend homemade salted caramel sauce. It is the best. The salted caramel recipe will make about 2 cups so you will have extra. Store the cupcakes in the refrigerator for up to 3 days.