TalesFromYourServer: Every Saturday morning I get stuck opening with the same coworker [Rant]

I’m starting to seriously hate her. Disclaimer - mobile. Another disclaimer - this has been going on for months and I’m probably sounding really bitter and mean. Please know that I mean every single word, this bitch pisses me off to the max.

I have this coworker, let’s call her C. I am always, always scheduled to open with her to begin my Saturday double. Every single week. I don’t mind the double, I don’t mind opening, I don’t mind working thru because it’s our busiest day. I literally just fucking hate opening with her because she is the laziest, most annoying coworker I have ever had the displeasure of working alongside.

Some background info - we open at 11, most days there’s only one opener but on Saturdays there are two because of the amount of work we have to do. We’re scheduled in at 10:30. If both people show up in a timely fashion, setting everything up, making backups, cutting and juicing lemons, etc. goes very smoothly and gets done before the rush. Too bad she shows up at 10:55 every Saturday and giggles and says “sorry I’m lateee!” while I’m rushing around trying to finish everything.

She proceeds to spend the next 5 minutes until open standing next to the POS system telling me in her loud fucking annoying voice about the amaaaazing concert or what the fuck ever she went to last night. Every Saturday, like clockwork.

Last week she came in at 10:50, all I had left to do was squeeze 3qts of lemon juice. I told her she had to do it, she tried to make me do it, when the manager finally made her do it, it took her three hours. She consistently stops in the middle of cutting or juicing a single lemon to to turn around and tell everyone about what Goddamn motherfucking baked good she made for breakfast. Three hours of a giant box of lemons, a knife, a cutting board, a juicer, and a 4qt container sitting in the service alley in front of everything we need. While she babbles. She literally does not understand the concept of work-and-talk no matter how many times you remind her. Bonus points if you try to walk away from her babbling and she literally fucking follows you around the restaurant to finish her story while remaining a steady 4 inches from your ear at all times.

I now go in at 10am and just do everything myself. I’m done having shitty days where we crash and burn mid-lunch because opening work isn’t done.

She complains about her section every day. She always gets the party table that seats 8, but you only get one booth when you get that table. She incessantly complains until management screws another server out of their booth and gives it to her.

She regularly sneaks out early and effectively steals early cuts and breaks from everyone who has to work a double every Saturday. She works for three hours and then bitches at the managers to make cuts. She then leaves without doing any closing sidework.

Every single day she nearly gets into a fight with another server. She’s incredibly condescending and argumentative. She snatches things from people’s hands, aggressively enters their space, and generally acts like a twat when everyone is just trying to work. She’s been written up at least 3 times for this stuff. 9/10 times I cannot set up a party table without her walking by, turning up her nose in the most cliché form, and saying “that’s crooked, fix it” and walking away. I eventually snapped and told her she can set it up if she thinks it’s wrong. She stammered out some kind of shit about being too busy. You have 2 tables, bitch. I see you standing back there sipping coffee and chatting up the poor BOH employee who just wanted to get a drink from the service alley. Sorry dude, you’re stuck for at least 10 minutes listening.

I know that C has a history of anxiety and depression. She overshares on Facebook about it often. I can empathize, I have severe bipolar and it makes work hard for me. But I’ve never pulled this shit. I get frustrated, I get down, but I don’t fuck over my coworkers and berate them. For months I’ve tried to cut her some slack and it seems to only enable her. My patience is thin.

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant y'all. It’s 10:10 so I need to go in and get started, because I know she won’t be here for another 40 minutes.

Update: she just got here. Everything is done except for lemons. She informs me she has a bad cut on her finger and that I’ll have to cut and squeeze lemons. This makes no fucking sense considering you’re supposed to wear three gloves when cutting with a finger cot over any cuts. Hate has intensified.

By: stellarwatermelons

RAVENCLAW: “They say there is a fine line between a genius and an idiot. But a genius is just an idiot, except at one or two activities. Unfortunately, people assume that genius at one thing means genius at all things. The solution? Listen to people about their area of expertise, and otherwise be wary.” –Zach Weiner (SMBC: 2010-01-29)

My second favourite thing in life is that there is a Gaelic translation for “busy as fuck.”

My first favourite thing is that it is “cho trang ri trìuir nan leabaidh.” (As busy as three in a bed)

Not least because when discussing it at work, one of my (usually quite quiet) colleagues piped up; “Well they’re not lying…”


Did Writing and Research for Saberspark’s Latest. Very proud of this one and how Saber explained what really ruined Saturday Morning Cartoons. Which is way more complicated and interesting then you think it is. 

What Ruined….Saturday Morning Cartoons?