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President Brown To Stay Up All Night In Giddy Anticipation of President's Day

PRESIDENT BROWN’S HOME – With President’s Day approaching, reports are indicating that although students are excited about the day off, few are more excited than President Brown himself, who will allegedly stay up all night waiting for the day to come.
 “He’s been doing this as long as I’ve known him,” said Dean Kenneth Elmore, “decorating the whole house, writing letters to George Washington; He even leaves out a plate of milk and cookies, which honestly, I think are really just for him.”
 “My parents always tell me it’s better to go right to sleep so the day comes faster,” Brown said with a heartwarming grin on his face, “but I just get so excited, I can’t help it.”
 Sources are reporting that Brown can be found at 3AM Monday morning, all tuckered out and curled in a ball by his fireplace as per usual.

“Yeah Rob is always the first one to wake everyone up in the morning on President’s Day with a long list of activities,” said Drew Faust, President of Harvard University. “We all just want to sleep in a little and then we can open presents and shit. Someone needs to tell him to settle down.”


Bassem Youssef has often been called “the Jon Stewart of Egypt,” and his show was known as the Daily Show of the Arab World.  The comparison is no coincidence: Youssef modeled his show on The Daily Show.  And as a result of his show’s success, he’s been a guest on The Daily Show.  Youssef  was a heart surgeon, when in 2011, after the revolution that overthrew Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak, Youssef started hosting a 5 minute satirical YouTube series, shot in his home.  He gave up medicine when he was invited to expand the webisodes into a weekly TV series. It became the most popular TV series in Egypt’s history.  But Mohammed Morsi, who was elected president after Mubrak’s fall, didn’t appreciate being satirized. In 2013, Morsi accused Youssef of insulting the president and insulting Islam.  A warrant was issued for Youssef’s arrest.  He turned himself in and was interrogated for six hours before being released on bail. Youssef returned to political satire, but the leaders of the military coup that pushed out President Morsi, didn’t like being satirized either.  Youssef’s show was terminated, and he got out of Egypt.  

In 2014 Terry Gross spoke to John Oliver, who mentioned Youssef as an inspiration:  

JOHN OLIVER: But I think about [Bassem Youssef], I actually think about him a lot, Terry, because I know him a little bit and, you know, we email back and forth sometimes. And what he does, you know, Jon Stewart will say the same thing, what Bassem is doing - he is at the pointy end of political comedy because he is not immune from consequences in the way that you almost entirely are when you live in America. It’s hard to overstate the difficulty of the conditions that he had to work under when that show was on the air.

So I feel, genuinely, that I owe him in a way. If you have the chance to do dumb things, you should do them. You shouldn’t be scared if you have nothing to be scared about. He wasn’t scared and he had plenty to be scared about. So I have no business even letting any of those concerns cross my mind, when Bassem did the kind of things that he did, and when being worried not just about him and his family, but his whole staff. So, yeah, I’ve got no real time for thinking about those kind of things.

Hear today’s interview:

‘Egyptian Jon Stewart’ Bassem Youssef Will Now Satirize U.S. Democracy

It took a while, but Parker, Stone, and ‘South Park’ seem to have crossed the point where their dual central sympathies—their own self-righteousness and the righteousness of put-upon 'little guys'—are no longer one and the same. 'South Park’ is The Establishment at this point, and the 'little guys’ in perpetual danger of being trampled increasingly look less like the middle-aged Generation Xers who created it and more like the aggrieved rainbow of dissidents making noise on the likes of Tumblr (or out in the streets, for that matter). Season 19, by the end, felt like nothing so much as the creators gnashing their teeth at ascendant millennials moments after the realization of this finally smacked them in the face. 'Hmph! You kids today with your hula hoops and your social justice!’