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While momentum is growing in Australia for equal marriage reforms, the Prime Minister has warned that we must stop and consider the implications of applying such measures to Australia and not treat such a fundamental decision with the kind of flippancy you would enter an unending ground war in an already destabilised region.

“We’re our own people. We don’t just do everything that the United States, Ireland, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, Iceland, Canada, Brazil, Argentina, Mexico, France and all the others have done.

“If all those nations jumped off a bridge and our population really wanted to also jump off a bridge would you do it? The last thing you should do in a democracy is listen to the will of the people. This isn’t a popularity contest.”

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Once upon a time, there was a cuddly brown bear who could dance and talk. For decades, he was the most popular guy in town, a celebrity beloved by all, seducing the public with his charm. Then, one day, he went on trial to determine whether he was human – or just a brown bear with a very particular set of skills.

Is this the plot of “Ted 2?” Nope. It’s the true story of Monsieur Martin, a brown bear in the Ménagerie of Paris, France. In 1820, Martin was the city’s star attraction, mentioned in every guide book, who went from fame to infamy after he ate a man. Martin had a history of killing men, but this was the first time he’d actually consumed his victim. (Or so eyewitnesses claimed. Martin certainly gnawed on him, but whether he actually digested the man remains open for debate.) Parisians freaked out. But why? Brown bears are omnivores. Eating everything is what they do. Well, Brillat-Savarin’s famous phrase, “Tell me what you eat, and I’ll tell you who you are” was first published in 1825, during the period of Martin’s public trial. So, if Martin was eating men…

Animal show trials have long served as satirical critique for humanity’s crimes. MacFarlane’s doesn’t measure up

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Taylor Schilling on ‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’ June 29, 2015

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Split me open along the seams, and empty out the wretched things

I want Holy Fire to be inside of me.

Lick the skin to keep it wet, my former form I’ll soon forget - keep your eyebrow free from sweat while you’re transforming me. 

When I’m as full as I can get, I take your flame into my flesh.

Draw my smoke from the burning end - hold it deep within your chest - and thank the Earth for me.

I’d rather be a blunt than a cigar any day.

First Love

Like so many beginnings, it was the calm before the storm.

Coincidence felt so significant - It was destiny, I was sure.

Now that I’ve matured I know there’s no such thing as destiny, and coincidence was exactly that. 

Any two people - enamored - can find common ground. In fact, they will force it regardless.

With both parties willing, they will fall in love.

I’ve blocked out the end - I suspect you remember vividly enough for the both of us.

If only the world could be like first love - desperate to find common ground, when push comes to shove.

Roommate: *looks at blueprints, scenario situations, stacks of bullets, several dates of possible large gatherings of Black people, sticks of dynamics, hate speeches and letters to media, website full of hate speech*

Roommate’s thought: Okay… he’s taking duck hunting a little too serious.

Roommate’s Reaction: Well, he planned it for six months. I didn’t think he’ll like… snap. Come on… it’s not like I had a crystal ball or anything. 

P.S. - This is satire. Sorta.