satans advocate

  • Nursey: Bitty, can I have some money to buy a Satan-worshiping, suicide-advocating heavy metal album?
  • Bitty: Derek, the fact that these bands haven't killed themselves in ritual self-sacrifice shows that they're just in it for the money like everyone else. It's all for effect. If you want to shock and provoke, be sincere about it.
  • Nursey: Mainstream commercial nihilism can't be trusted?!
  • Bitty: 'Fraid not, kiddo.
  • Nursey: School is so disillusioning.
4

Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He’s a prankster. Think about it. He gives man…instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does he do? I swear, for his own amusement…his own private, cosmic gag reel… He sets the rules in opposition. It’s the goof of all time. Look, but don’t touch. Touch, but don’t taste. Taste, but don’t swallow. And while you’re jumping from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He’s laughing his sick fucking ass off! He’s a tightass! He’s a sadist! He’s an absentee landlord! Worship that? Never!

I’m here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I’ve nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him Why? Because I never rejected him,in spite of all his imperfections. I’m a fan of man! I’m a humanist.

Naomi Wildman: Mom, can I have some credits to buy a Satan-worshipping, suicide-advocating heavy metal album?

Ensign Samantha Wildman: Naomi, the fact that these bands haven’t killed themselves in ritual self-sacrifice shows that they’re just in it for the money like everyone else. It’s all for effect. If you want to shock and provoke, be sincere about it.

Naomi: Mainstream commercial nihilism can’t be trusted?

Samantha: ‘Fraid not, kiddo.

Naomi: Childhood is so disillusioning.

  • Gumball: Mom, can I have some money to buy a Satan-worshiping, suicide-advocating heavy metal album?
  • Nicole: Gumball, the fact that these bands haven't killed themselves in ritual self-sacrifice shows that they're just in it for the money like everyone else. It's all for effect. If you want to shock and provoke, be sincere about it.
  • Gumball: Mainstream commercial nihilism can't be trusted?!
  • Nicole: 'Fraid not, kiddo.
  • Gumball: School is so disillusioning.

anonymous asked:

I'm curious of your opinion :) who do you think would be the angel, natsu or lucy? And the demon? I don't know why but i think natsu would make a perfect angel ♡♡ (Sorry for any spelling mistakes English isn't my first language)

I really enjoy both possibilities, and they can both work! Making Lucy a demon would be more of a wist, of course. ;) Now that I think of it I’ve actually written both?? :D I have a devil/demon Natsu in The Devil’s Advocate, and Satan/demon Lucy in the (unwritten) cornchip AU. :D No angels though…. wonder what that says about me lmaoo

“You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it can split atoms with its desire; you build egos the size of cathedrals; fiber-optically connect the world to every eager impulse; grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green, gold-plated fantasies, until every human becomes an aspiring emperor, becomes his own God… and where can you go from there?”

-John Milton, “The Devil’s Advocate" 

The seven deadly sins of the Christian Church are greed, lust, sloth, gluttony, pride, envy, anger. Satanism advocates indulging in each of these “sins” as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.
—  Anton LaVey, Satanic Bible
2

The seven deadly sins of the Christian Church are: greed, pride, envy, anger, gluttony, lust, and sloth. Satanism advocates indulging in each of these “sins” as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification. A Satanist knows there is nothing wrong with being greedy, as it only means that he wants more than he already has. Envy means to look with favour upon the possessions of others, and to be desirous of obtaining similar things for oneself. Envy and greed are the motivating forces of ambition - and without ambition, very little of any importance would be accomplished. Gluttony is simply eating more than you need to keep yourself alive. When you have overeaten to the point of obesity, another sin - pride - will motivate you to regain an appearance that will renew your self-respect. Anyone who buys an article of clothing for a purpose other than covering his body and protecting it from the elements is guilty of pride. It must be pointed out to these destroyers of labels that one or many articles they themselves are westing are not necessary to keep them warm. There is not a person on this earth who is completely devoid if ornamentation. The Satanist points out that any ornamentation of the scoffer’s body shows that he, too, is guilty of pride. Regardless of how verbose the cynic may be in his intellectual description of how free he is, he is still wearing the elements of pride. Being reluctant to get up in the morning is to be guilty of sloth, and if you lie in bed long enough you may find yourself committing yet another son - lust. To have the faintest stirring of sexual desire is to be guilty of lust. In order to unsure the propagation of humanity, nature made lust the second most powerful instinct, the first being self-preservation. Realising this, the Christian Church made fornication the “Original Sin.” In this way they made sure nobody would escape sin. Your very state of being is as a result of sin - the Original sin! The strongest instinct in every living thing is self-preservation, which brings us to the last of the seven deadly sins - anger. Is it not our instinct for self-preservation that is aroused when someone harms us, when we become angry enough to protect ourselves from further attack? A Satanist practises the motto, “If a man smite thee on one cheek, smash him on the other!” Let no wrong go undressed. Be as a lion in the path - be dangerous even in defeat!

Satanism advocates practicing a modified form of the Golden Rule. Our interpretation of this rule is: “Do unto others as they do unto you”; because if you “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” and they, in turn, treat you badly, it goes against human nature to continue to treat them with consideration. You should do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but if your courtesy is not returned, they should be treated with the wrath they deserve.
—  Anton Lavey 

anonymous asked:

how do you find excitement in life, i'm like 20 but i feel like my soul is super old and bitter

To be honest, Anon, I don’t think being old or bitter precludes excitement. I am The Oldest, I was born old, and yet I find joy in plenty of things, like grumbling about the state of the world, shaking my cane, etc.

I’m only partially kidding. I think part of it is that despite having been diagnosed with clinical depression when I was seventeen, I am a naturally cheerful person – I think the world’s a bit absurd and finding the absurdity in it is always entertaining to me. A friend of mine in college described my vocal tone as constantly implying that I wasn’t afraid to laugh what a joke the entire world was. I think it was a very nice compliment, and pleasantly ignored the fact that I am ALSO constantly restraining myself from punching the entire world in the face for not making more sense. The two sentiments can coexist in me, if not peaceably.

I’ve been trying to articulate how I go about finding excitement in life and interestingly, every time I try it comes back to comedy instead. So let’s try it this way: let’s ask some questions. (Oh dear, homework from Dad.)

Why are you in search of excitement? As opposed to say, occupation, entertainment, or inspiration. What is it about excitement – what does excitement mean to you, and why is it the thing you desire? I’m not questioning your desires because I think they’re not valid but because finding what you want doesn’t start with the quest itself – it starts with identifying what you want, and why.

And why do you think age and bitterness precludes excitement? How are you defining “old”, and why is that an impediment? Is it that you feel as though you’ve seen everything, and therefore nothing is new? Again, this isn’t to judge – these are genuine questions, the answers to which will help you identify the problems before you.

And actually asking these questions helps me to work out what may help you – because even if you have seen everything, there’s always a headtilt ahead of you.

Most of the artistic heroes of my life were people who took the ordinary and shifted it. Picasso drew faces from three angles at once. George Bernard Shaw wrote an entire play advocating for Satanism at the height of Victorian morality, using Puritans as his mouthpieces. Magritte, one of the finest surrealist artists in history, lived an aggressively normal, bourgeois life while he painted some wild shit that artists and critics still grapple with. (To remind me of the absurdity of carrying my existence around with me in a little black box whose central purpose, telephoning people, I no longer use, my phone case has a picture of an antique telephone on it captioned “Ceci n’est pas un phone”. I get especially delighted when people try to tell me that “phone” isn’t proper French, because that’s the least weird thing about it.)

My point is that the ordinary only remains ordinary so long as you keep looking at it face-on. If you tilt your head, or better yet tilt the world a little, everything becomes new – and often, the newness of a thing, the chance to explore and share its newness, is what excites us.

The headtilt is a learned skill – it takes time to learn it and to practice it, to look at an object or a concept or a law and ask, how do I tilt this? What other side can I take in this argument and what does that teach me? How do I alter this to make something new? What is the most familiar aspect of this, and what would happen if that aspect were altered somehow?

Fortunately, the things that are good practice for this are also a lot of fun to do. Fanfic by its very nature is a headtilt at canon – what scene did we miss? What would happen if everyone owned a food truck? How would this character acquire a child? What expertise can I bring to this story? Art is a constant remix of both reality and other arts; I once explained to a friend that the surrealist painting of a bridge implies the bridge because of the specific aspects of “bridginess” in it (arches, cables, columns) and that made me think way harder about both bridges and surrealists than I had in some time.

ANYWAY, being an angry old bitter crank is no bar to the headtilt. In fact, it means you have a specific and unusual point of view that you can use to tilt the world around you. What about any given thing makes you feel bitter? What would you change? What would make something EVEN WORSE? Embrace your boredom – what specifically about the thing bores you?

You have a young and elastic mind – you’re about the age I was when I started consciously headtilting (a lot of my unconscious headtilts in high school were severely punished, which is not uncommon) so you’re in a good position to start. Anything ordinary, anything accepted, anything that is “common sense” can be taken apart and reassembled into something new – and it’s your job to bitterly, crankily do it.

And when you start doing this, you start to notice that other people do it too, that they have unique experiences and viewpoints and thoughts that you’ve never encountered before, which is exciting too, especially when you get to share yours with them and see their reactions.

Once upon a time I got mad that Harry Potter didn’t get to grow up with someone who loved him, and I got really mad that his creator was visibly, piece by piece, removing what little support structure he had. So I wrote a story where he got a loving home with two dads and the chance to build a network of friends throughout his school who would trust and love him, and to explore how that would change his narrative as a child destined to save the world.

And it made me famous.

I exaggerate a little for effect, but the reason I have twelve thousand followers now is that once I remixed a Young Adult novel series and it drew enough attention to start an avalanche. I didn’t know that would happen. I was just fucking around. But my headtilt spoke to people and they all headtilted back and here I am.

So I suggest, the next time something seems so jaw-clenchingly ordinary and usual that you just can’t stand it, tilt your head a bit and ask yourself, how can I make this exciting?

And if that doesn’t work, well, you could try making cookies. That always turns out excitingly for me, and if it doesn’t for you, at least then you have cookies.

“Satanism advocates practicing a modified form of the Golden Rule. Our interpretation of this rule is: "Do unto others as they do unto you"; because if you "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and they, in turn, treat you badly, it goes against human nature to continue to treat them with consideration. You should do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but if your courtesy is not returned, they should be treated with the wrath they deserve.”

Anton Szandor LaVey, The Satanic Bible