Even in Hell, the internet still sucks sometimes.

For some reason, the fires of hell burned up the original posting of this question by kattheauthor, but I have retrieved it! Don’t thank me; I’m the Devil. Seriously, don’t thank me.

Anyway, the question was, “Hey there! I just want to say I’m a big fan of you! <u> And I think you’re hothothot.”

Here’s my answer:

Thank you, but I’m the Devil, so I’m really only hothothot because I’m surrounded by fire. But I can see what you mean…

(EDIT: Credit to safety-hazard-xdlol for her awesome collage of me. Well done! I’m calling it “The Many Sides of Satan,” and will accept no other name!)

theakwardsquid  asked:

hey satan, if you had to choose some one to rule hell with you,(hypothetically of coarse because no one can tell satan what to do)would you choose metal, scene or intern 2?

Intern 2, for sure! He’s literally the only person in the office that isn’t terrified or annoyed with me. And I like him a lot. >:)

I think he has some untapped potential for evil. I’ll just have to tap it out of him, if you catch my drift. >;)

finn-thee-human  asked:

Satan, I know your secret that you are actually a famous you tuber and you are also on a tv show called annoying orange also satan isn't your real name its toby "tobuscus" turner but I respect that cuz it mekes you eviler and therefore a better satan

*gasp* What lies has that guy who looks just like me been spreading? Also, I’m pretty sure you’re confusing that guy with Toby Joe Turner. And I am neither of them, so there. In your face. :P

Update: I'm such a lazy devil in the summertime...

Greetings, my loyal followers. I know it’s been over a month since my last update on here, but I’m finally back. Did you miss me? Of course you did. I know you all are such huge fans of mine. ;)

Anyway, I’ve neglected to update this blog ‘cuz I’ve been on my summer vacation. (Even the Devil needs some fun in the sun every once in a while.) I’m currently at Six Flags, the most diabolical theme park in existence. I’m in disguise as a human, but that’s a secret. Sssshhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Don’t tell anyone it’s me wearing the black and red casual clothes (and a fedora. You know I’m a stylish devil), or I’ll be forced to smite you. Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, was I talking about? Oh, yeah, the whole update thing. I’m gonna try to update this Tumblr more often, now that I’ve been brought back here. Even for me, being the Devil and stuff, it’s so freakin'hard to not be lazy in the summer. :P

One last thing: I demand would like to start answering your queries, in the same manner we did before. I find it quite enjoyable, and I’m sure there’s a great deal of stuff that you all want to ask me about. So go ahead and do that, if you want to live ask me stuff. :)

Satan out!

P.S.: Thanks for 47 followers! I gotta admit, I like you guys. You’re pretty awesome for following me, just so you know. :)

thiefofadhd  asked:

Even though you can change into a woman [duh!] I still gotta ask: What would you do if you were stuck as a woman for eternity? What would be the first thing you do? Would you be into guys? I know you'll probably be hothothot. I just wanna know. >:)

Hmmmmm… what an interesting set of questions you have there. If I had to be a woman for the rest of eternity… first, I’d probably create an awesome outfit for myself. Like a lady version of my suit, except with a skirt and a long, billowy cape. Other than that, I wouldn’t be that different. I’d still do all the same evil business, of course. >;)

Would I be attracted to males if I were a lady? I think I probably would be. More or less, I’d be an opposite version of myself. I’d be such a hothothot lady. Literally. Perhaps I could burn people if they were back-talking me… That would be quite a burn, if you catch my drift.

Hello again, Tumblr. It's been a while (like almost two weeks), but I'm back.

Did you miss me? I thought you might. ;)

Anyway, I’ve been hella busy lately. Today I wrote an essay about why I’m the real hero in Paradise Lost. No reason; I just felt like it. I write a mean essay, I’ll have you know. I’ve hurt many people’s feelings with my mean essays. 

Any-anyways (yes, that is a word know; you’re welcome), I weirdly miss answering your questions. Keep ‘em comin’! Seriously, you can ask me pretty much anything you want and I’ll answer it. I don’t bite… because I can only transform into my monstrous demon self in the real world. Figures.

So I’ll see you guys soon. Trust me, you will. Muahahahahahahaha – *coughing* Sorry, I’m a bit out of practice with my evil laugh. It’s been almost two weeks since I last did it. Don’t judge me or I’ll smite you with my giant fork-trident-thingy. Actually, I probably won’t. I don’t want to break it again.

Satan out!

rangerkat  asked:


Yeah, I just saw that. So Intern 2 would willingly be friends with me? This is the best news I’ve heard in weeks. Newsy should do a story on it. *hint hint, Newsy! even though I’m pretty sure you’re not on Tumblr*

Intern 2 and I do have a lot in common… and he’s not scared of me like everyone else is… hmm. Yeah, he and I definitely need to become besties. Like, right now. 

I’m not sure if I could ever get Intern 2 to go out with me (and he’s still flowchart-sexual, last I heard), but friendship’s a good thing to have. Even if you’re the Prince of Darkness, which I am. >;)