satan mess

Boyf riends Unsolved

Premise: Jeremy and Michael (two dumb boys pining after each other) decide to go on a ghost hunt in one of the most haunted places in New Jersey. 

Word Count: 2704

Warnings: swearing, scary haunted shit

a/n: i’m…. i don’t really have an explanation for this. just…. have some boyf riends fluff

also a huge thank you to the love of my life @limpblotter for beta-ing <3


“… but whether or not it is definitively haunted will remain… unsolved.” Ryan Bergara’s voice dropped dramatically as the ‘unsolved’ stamp painted itself across the darkening image of him walking down the balcony of the Dauphine Orleans Hotel.

Michael laid back on his beanbag chair, smiling lightly. Jeremy was sitting ramrod straight, eyes wide.

“That’s not fucking unsolved!” he cried indignantly. “It’s haunted as shit! The… fucking footsteps? And the other guy heard them too?”

Keep reading

ENTP x Hogwarts Houses
  • Gryffindor: Pheww... We got a lot of chatterboxes among ENTP Gryffindors. And they know it! Occasional fits of anger or explosions of humour. You´ll never know what will happen next. See Jim Carrey. They adore ISFPs from Hufflepuff and hang out with Ravenclaw INTPs. They are the origin of all memes and text conversations that went viral. Born attorneys and referees. Own a secret poetry journal. Everybody wants to know how they score so many good grades. Especially Slytherins like me. Watch out.
  • Hufflepuff: Dads around the world envy Hufflepuff ENTPs. Comedy machines at parties, and probably the most eccentric people out there. They choose bright colors for their attire, because their personality is very similar to that. Shower their ISFJ friends from Ravenclaw with attention and gifts. Best song/playlist recommendations, just ask. Live a creative and unconventional life, involving many spiritual elements. Own the cutest blogs. Everyone knows a chatty dentist who´s a Hufflepuff ENTP.
  • Ravenclaw: Obama. Go troublemaker mode here and there, but mostly keep their professional, aloof demeanour. Talk show hosts are mainly ENTP Ravenclaws. They speak up in terms of human rights often and shut down bigots everywhere. They are creative and their biggest interest is either IT-related or involves a television series. Somehow, all of them are Loki fans. Share their library card with an INTJ from Gryffindor. The most versatile and fast-living ENTPs.
  • Slytherin: This thrilling combination was invented just for John Cleese and Karl Lagerfeld. The stubborn, dark Slytherin mentality merges neatly with the realistic approach of these ENTPs. Most quotable out of all the houses and types. They have a hard time dealing with the absurdity of life, so they become one themselves. Exchange fashion tips with ISTPs from Ravenclaw. Headstrong and confident in their skills.

Vera, Alyn, Nessa & Oliver Witch au

Nessa:

-flowers, herbs, christian, kitchen and celtic

-she likes it and does alot kitchen work

-i hc that she got oliver into it

-messy witch.

-“WHERE IS THE SPELL FILE???”

-lots of spellwork & charms



Oliver:

-really likes cosmic & christian. He is actually a eclectic witch (does everything)

-tried music witchcraft for nessa

-its hard to find stuff on it so he dropped

It.

-he is better organized

-candles & herbs



Vera:

-literally me.

- she’s eclectic but specializes in Dream, Tarot, Hedge & cosmic witchery


-has a very well organized grimoire

-rest of her witch things are in boxes in her basement

-DOES TAROT READINGS

-she dislikes the tealeaf technique

-HAS. CURSED. MANY . A . BULLY.

-probably cursed a family member

-potion brewer

-ALSO TALKS TO FAERIES


Alyn:

-Fire, weather & summer witch

-he collects all types of rain & makes moon water

-he has 30 jars outside on fullmoon nights, ready to get the moonwater


-potions

-he and vera brew together

-they also curse togetger

-he also messes with satanic witchery

-noone cares.

-“a spirit once haunted me for summoning it”

-“shut up alyn”

-“vera u kno it happened”



Characters ©

@zenwisterias


Originally posted by wiccanartistry

{I do not own any gifs/images displayed above}

I was an Angel once | Part 1

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader

Words:  864

A/N: I’m sorry for any mistakes, my native language is not English.

Warning: none


Masterlist  


This was definitely not what you had expected when you woke up this morning. And this news was absolutely bad. A big bad news.

Like every morning since you moved in the bunker, you woke up, get dressed, and went to the kitchen to eat your breakfast. This morning was no exception; you were eating a bowl of cornflakes when Castiel suddenly appeared in the room, announcing that he had news to tell you.

Keep reading

Je suis here and with more fam quotes

‘‘ALL YOUR FAVS ARE CHUBBY SRRY I DONT MAKE THE RULES’’

‘‘Its official I have a crush on ALL THE GIRLS’’

-a?
-My mom
-Tossed water at me
+why
+was it holy water
+?
+If yes then I understand why

‘‘musicals have ruined my life and im ok with it’’

‘‘I’m logged into my friends insta and sent ‘penis penis penis’ to someone’’

-This is my khonjin house
+I try to understand
+I really do

‘‘I dont believe in Jesus but I believe in myself
Therefore, I believe in gay’’

-KAWASHITA YAKUSOKU WASURENAI YO
+I don’t speak weaboo
-Its the madoka magica opening

‘‘remember kids: arson isn’t the answer, it’s the question. the answer is yes.’’

-WHY ARE YOU SO AGGRESSIVE OVER THIS
+FUCK U
-FUCK YOU TOO
*I’m gonna go now

-FUCK
-I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED A THING???
+Me every time I open the internet

‘‘What if my Pokémon licked the other Pokémon’’

-Need me some nice followers
+Wow r00d
+So I guess I’m not nice Stormy
+I see
-WHAT
-NO
-RYNA ILY
-U IS GOOD
+WHOS RYNA
+YOU CHEATING ON ME
-Oh shit

-I’m honestly laughing so hard rn
-I kicked my night… Thing
-Night table???
-Is that what u call it???
+The table of night

‘‘Once my friend said we needed to kill the vocaloid Len’’

-Toad
-toADY
+TODDADDY
-TOADDADDY
*DADDY
^GODDAMNIT GUYS
*I’ll be Daddy

-I stole a noodle
+relatable
^Just one?

-Screm
+Why screm
-Bc screm

‘‘I’m gonna try to be a vaginatarian’’

‘‘At least no one questioned why one of the lasts messages I sent to her was ‘‘A grape and a toe’’’’

‘‘you know its bad when you start having dreams about your fav band’’

‘‘do they surge with plastic’’

-Time To Put Pictures Of Bleeding Gums™
+oh great

-I keep finding images of people laughing at salad
+Me on the internet
*Vegans

-Why do you have a fidget spinner ask blog
+god has abandoned us

‘‘iztaccíhuatl, get your brother vesuvius and kilimanjaro,we’re goingto see aunt st helens and uncle fuji.’’

‘‘‘‘eat stack zoo watoo’’

i looked up the pronunciation sorry’’

-i just chucked my phone on the floor so i could write that
+What
-what
*What’s a chucked
+What
+Ryan threw their phone
+It’s a figure of speech
*Ooooh thank
-‘‘whats a chucked’’
*Why would you ever throw ur phone
-IM LAUGHING

-Novi my mom says you’re living in sin because you’ve never tried pineapple upside down cake
+lmFAO
*I LOVE????????? PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE???????????
-SAME????????????
+I mean I’m living in sin but that’s not the main reason
*yea it is
*get some pineapple upside down cake in your system
*it will heal you
-They don’t make that in Spain
+Get some paella in your system
*IM MAILING YOU A PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE
-So I’m going to Spain the minute I have enough money to go there
+Y e s
-And I’m gonna fuck up his kitchen
+lmAO
*I guess you could call it
*hells kitchen
+OH MY GOD
*no okay bye
-OMFG
+I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN

‘‘im a gay platypus
what are you gonna do about it’’

‘‘i never thought i would get to the day where i called baba a loaf of bread’’

-YOU HAVE BEEN BANNED TO THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF FURRY HELL
+Well I was gonna go there anyway in holidays so lmao
*NOT THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF FURRY HELL
-i am surrounded by furries

-#teenager rebellion
+Ryan no
*Ryan pls
+Dont
*You’re like 5
-IM 11 SO SHUT THE FUCK UP

-ILU2
-HOW R U DOING
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-Relatable

‘‘I just ate a hamburger of the size of my hand and now I’m eating melon to feel healthy lmao’’

-I feed him memes and gay shit every night
+I live off of that honestly
-same

‘‘hes a horny shakespearean cunt waffle’’

-And fb send me a gay page as a recommendation
-Am I really that obvious
+Again, yes
-Again, good

-why would you kill a frog ;o;
+it was an accident
-hoW DO YOU r IP A FROg in half on accident

‘‘Ok I know this is a serious issue and a delicate moment but I was reading a demon and angel AU and they just said ‘‘holy cum’’ and I amost choked on my tea’’

‘‘Once I ate like 6 squares of toilet paper
And once I ate a tissue’’

-We’re all healthy, happy, pure children of God
+Eve dont lie
+You egg
*Who’s God

-what is life
-what is dicc
-what is succ
-what is licc
+ -by Novi, may he rest in peace

‘‘Trafficunt’’

‘‘Depressioli corner I go’’

‘‘Every month should be pride month
I’m gay every month’’

‘‘they suck more dick than i do in my exs wet dream’’

‘‘Who the fuck is Antonio De Pigafetta and why does it sound like Pigeon’’

-some lady just went up to me and said ‘ooo, sexy’ and walked away
+it was me
-are you 35 and clearly recently divorced?
+yes
+i am recently divorced
+and put a comma in there and all will be true, as i am 3’5

-I want gorditas
+Why lmao
-Because they’re good? And taste delicious
+oH MY GOD BABA
+ W H Y
-What?
-OH MY GOD
-NO NOT PEOPLE
-IM NOT TALKING ABOUT CHUBBY PEOPLE
+I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN
-IT’S A FOOD
-ADOFGHAFIVUH
-Oh god this is going in the Fam quotes isn’t it

‘‘FUCCIN COLUMBUS WHERE R U U PIECE OF GENOVESE ASS’’

‘‘COMMUNISM MEANS FAMILY’’

-NEL YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE A RESPONSIBLE PARENT THAT BUYS A VEGETABLE
+I WILL READ MY CHILDREN
+THE COMMUNIST MANIFIESTO
-YEA WELL IM GONNA READ MY CHILDREN
-MEIN KAMPF
+WHILE GENTLY SHOVING
+CUCOMMUNISTCUMBERS INTO YOUR THROATH

‘‘What kinda fucking name for a state is Iowa’’

‘‘I’m gonna vore gum’’

‘‘IT SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING CHANT WHAT THE FUCK’’

‘‘Pennsylvania=Transylvania=Y’all are chanting to get Dracula’’

‘‘Theory: all the state songs played at once summon Satan’’

‘‘@england we’re a mess please take us back
@england please i beg you’’

‘‘BOUGHWASIIIIIE’‘

‘‘instead of fidget spinners we have communist’‘

‘‘I love all of these Spanish/Portuguese XV century sailors and explorers as much as I’d love to fuck myself with a cactus’‘

-C’MON WE CAN DO THIS FOR PAPI MARX
+F O R P A P I M A R X
+DO IT FOR HIM

‘‘My head hurts
Why are we holding a communist revolt’’

‘‘MY GRANDMA CAME IN WITH ME YELLING ABOUT COMMUNISM’’

‘‘i was honestly trying to write porn i ended up in communism’’

‘‘BUJYAASIEEE’’

-what is happening
+COMMUNISM
*WE ARE COMMUNISM
^COMMUNISM IS HAPPENING 
~communism

‘‘would you like to talk about ur lord and savior karl marx?’’

-PAPA PUTIN IS HERE TO BRING COMMUNISM BACK TO THIS FAMILY
-FUCK ME DADDY MARX
+#make communism a household word 2k17
*we are now a family of communists

‘‘THE COMMUNISM MARCH ROCK VERSION’’

-IM HAVING A STROKE
+NO
+NO STROKES ALLOWED

-I’m scared to go in lmao
+It’s just the state song thing
*its the fifty nifty states song
*but like shitty quality
-THAT’S WHY IM SCARED
*yes be scared its america

-IM GONNA CONQUER SPAIN
+OH YEA?
-YEA
+HOW
-AMERICA
-AND SUBMARINE TANKS
+YEA AS IF U HAD ACCESS TO THAT
-YEA I DO
-I WAS IN THE NAVY SEALS FOR 7 YEARS IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS
+I didn’t know u were this level of meme’d
-I AM

‘‘I’m not pure
I’m just kink free’’

‘‘just think of a grandma every time i see lingerie
what
i didnt
say
anything,,,’’

-I look dead 99.999999% of the time
+i am dead 99.9999999% of the time
+so

‘‘I have a five meter forehead what the fucking shit am I now Victor Nikiforov (I wish. That man is hot)’’

‘‘Yes there are all things I head canon and keep close to my cold pitch black heart’‘

-WHAT TIME IS IT
+Show time
*Jfc Mythie

‘‘I just like,,,, cleaned
What is my life
Who am I
THIS IS NOT THE RYAN WAY™’’

-But its not an ultra detalied game so thats kinda understandable that it isnt specific
-Theres really only 4 main forms of government: fascism, communism, democratic and unaligned
+Can’t there be a carrovernment
-What is that lmao
+A government where the cat is the president
-That explains why google didnt give me a solid answer
+Did you search it in google
-MAYBE
+LMFAO

-I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BRO
+I AM YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND

-I’m going to kill myself
+What did you do Novi
-I did English
+Oh no
*Lmao
+Not English

-I nEed fOOD
+Eat your depression
-I mean I have a lot of that
+Thats what Im saying
+Eat the depression

-vore the sqoop
+It’s one in the morning

‘‘The leg was a lie’’

‘‘Anyway time to lay on a special mat in special clothes and be dead to the world and my surroundings while I lay hallucinating vividly aka sleep’’

‘‘I’m paying her with food too :vc’’

‘‘Make sure to get some nice communism in there’’

‘‘Did I not undestand cause that’s complicated, cause my English is bad or cause I’m a fucking idiot: An autobiography’’

‘‘this makes me feel lowkey bad no i dont wanna kill my precious baby i just want to close it rn’’

‘‘Let’s all suffer alone together’’

BONUS:

‘‘‘‘dont fuck during sex’’ - my friend 2k17′’


@prongs-chan  @stammi-ravioli  @makkakill  @rolord  @ask-ageswap-viktor  @plushy-minami  @space-asylum  @spring-gay  @ask-a-skater-fan  @phantasmagoricalcoffee  @askyoungvitya  @ask-yoi-viktor-nikiforov  @hatelikingbatman  @ask-ice-family  @nocturnal-narcissus  @caffeinebeancrock  @wanber  @yuuri-on-heelys

So, as my followers know, I have an au called Yami and the Ink Machine, obviously a parody of the game Ben/dy and the Ink Mac/hine. And I’m so into this au that I decided to make a fanfic out of it, based on the game play, along with my own changes to the plot to fit better with the au and the characters.

Summery: Yugi received a letter from his former boss and friend, Seto Kaiba, asking him to come back to their old animation studio to see something that Seto had.

Oh, how he wished he had chosen not to go…

Warning: horror, body horror, a cute kid’s show turns into a satanic mess, cult stuff, death, lots and lots of ink

Also contains artwork by me.

The title is based on the famous BA//TIM fansong of the same name (give it a listen, it’s really good)

On with the fic!

Gospel of Dismay

Chapter One: Moving Pictures

It seems like a lifetime since we worked on cartoons together.

20 years really slips away, doesn’t it?

If you’re back in town, come visit the old workshop. There is something I need to show you.

Your dear friend.

-Seto Kaiba

Yugi frowned, looking at the old, yellow note in his hand. The writing was obviously Seto’s, perfect and neat, but the old paper and the ink spots were a little out of his area. Seto was a very clean man, a perfectionist, so it was a little worrisome to see the condition of the note.

Keep reading