My least favourite thing about Christians is their inability to realize how the devil works.
Pokemons are DEMONS and the devil is using them to infiltrate our homes and our children's lives to cause them to act out, become gay, and dabble in demonic sorcery.
Harry Potter and its author are leading kids to witchcraft. Our kids our stupid! They don't know the difference between fantasy stories and reality! Satan is RAPING their imaginations with this GAY WIZARD BOY'S MAKE-BELIEVE ADVENTURES!!!
The legit real Devil:
You know. I got it. I'm gonna aim Christians the fury of the Christians, not at me, but at the creation of this little Japanese game company so all non-Christians see their reactions and-oh man-Christians will look SO STUPID. They'll be rioting over other people's art and burning Harry Potter books, further cementing themselves as lunes in the eyes of their fellow man.
Man, Satan. You're getting better by the century.
Thanks, babe. Now let's kill some more albinos in Africa.
Jesus fucking Christ. All this rain is driving the spawns of Satan into my house. I have never seen ants so big in my life!!! and thEY HAVE WIIIIIIIINGS. nopenopenopenopenope.
I feel bad for killing them, but I’m more worried about them getting to my birds. My birdy boys safety come above anything else.
Spraying them with soapy water actually drowns them within a few seconds. The minute it stops raining I’m spraying all the exterior windows with bug repellent.
ALRIGHT BITCHES LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY MOTHS ARE THE MOST TERRIBLE THINGS EVER TO EXIST
FIRST OFF, THESE THINGS ARE EQUIVALENT TO CON ARTISTS. PEOPLE WILL LOOK AT THEM AND SAY “awwww look at that butterfly” NO. NO STOP. THOSE NASTY GREY-BROWN ASSHOLES ARE MOTHS. THEY WILL STEAL YOU’RE IDENTITY, MONEY, JOB, SPOUSE, KIDS, AND BASICALLY EVERYTHING ELSE THAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU
look at this smug piece of shit i swear to god
AND LET’S NOT FORGET THE WHOLE LIGHT THING. THEY WILL BREAK INTO YOUR HOME AND SMASH THEIR BODIES UP AGAINST ANY LIGHT THEY SEE. THEY WILL PASSIONATELY MAKE OUT WITH YOUR BRIGHTLY LIT OBJECTS WITHOUT YOU EVEN NOTICING HALF THE TIME. THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO LIGHTS, BUT NOT OTHER MOTHS?? THE FUCKS UP WITH THAT?
OH AND ONE MORE THING. THEY EAT YOU’RE GODDAMNED CLOTHES.
TRUST ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE STAY AWAY FROM THESE FLUTTERY LIGHT-LOVING POWDERPUFFS AND ALL WILL BE WELL
“Hi. I know it’s late, and you might’ve been eating dinner or something, but – there’s a huge moth in my apartment and I can no longer call it my home. I must take refugee somewhere, and no one else was home. I would offer you sweets or something but they are in said apartment and I will not walk in there until the Satan-Bug departs.”