(Pretty sure I got this as a fic prompt before I started doing the whole ‘Sastiel AU headcanons’ thing… but if I was wrong, honey, feel free to send me this again and I’ll be happy to do headcanons! It makes a mighty fine fic prompt, though… enjoy <3)
“Sam, I’ve - I’ve been praying to you all week,” Cas all but sobbed. He was close to tears, and only his will to stay composed prevented him from crying. Who knew that he would ever be this attached to an angel? Who knew that, one day, he would care for Samuel just as much as he cared for Gabe? (Of course, the affection he felt for Gabe, although deep, was completely different. They were brothers. Sam, on the other hand, was, well…. Sam.)
“Where are you?” Cas asked the darkening sky in a hushed whisper, looking up at the stars through the motel window and wondering if Sam was among them right now, fighting for Heaven’s freedom along with Dean and the other angels.
If Sam wasn’t fighting, it could be due to one of two things. Option one: Sam had finally heard Cas’ prayer and was locating him right now, getting ready to zap into his waiting arms and relieve his heart of all the heaviness that plagued it every time it was away from Sam.
Option two… Sam wasn’t fighting because he had been injured, or captured, or - or even worse… one of those dicks had taken one of their fancy silver blades and - and -
“Cas? Cas!” Sam rushed over to Cas, who was sitting on the motel bed, and examined him worriedly, looking for any signs of damage.
“Sam, you’re - you’re okay,” Cas whispered softly as Sam continued to gaze at him with concern.
“I’m fine, Cas - are you?”
“What? I’m - yeah, I’m fine,” Cas said, wiping away the tears that had finally come out at the sight of his angel. “More than fine. Fantastic.”
Sam made to stand but Cas stopped him, grabbing his arms and making him sit down on the bed. Only then, clinging to the perplexed angel, did Cas finally let himself accept that Sam was actually there with him. That Sam was actually alive.
“Cas, there is definitely something wrong with you,” Sam insisted, putting a hand to Cas’ forehead and frowning. Cas shoved Sam’s hand off and stopped the angel before he could speak again.
“I was just worried, Cas, is all.”
“Just worried? But you - you were crying, Cas.”
“Because I love you. I was crying because I love you.”
Sam’s eyebrows furrowed, and his expression became even more suspicious.
Cas let a huffed breath of air escape him and looked at Sam fondly, shaking his head a little as he did so. Sam had come a long way with understanding humanity, especially since they had started dating (if you could even call it that). But there was still so much more he needed to learn… so much more.
“Sam, when a human loves someone - really, really loves them, like I love you,” Cas said, holding Sam’s hand while he spoke, “it hurts them when the person they love isn’t around. And when they’re separated from their partner for a long time, like we’ve been this past week, it can be hard - especially if they don’t know if their love will ever come back,” Cas continued, murmuring the last part so quietly that Sam almost missed it entirely.
Sam let his eyes rest on the dingy motel floor and caressed Cas’ hand tenderly, trying to think of how to respond.
“I received all of your prayers, Cas,” Sam said, turning to look at Cas. “And I wanted to reply to them desperately. But up there, it’s hard to get any messages out, let alone ones down to Earth.”
Sam began to get agitated, worried that Cas would not believe him, would think that he somehow didn’t care, or wasn’t human enough to truly love Cas. “I heard them and I listen to them over and over, formulated responses in my head, but any communication to you could have given away our position and gotten more angels killed than have already -”
“It’s okay, Sam, it’s okay,” Cas soothed, leaning on Sam’s shoulder and rubbing Sam’s back steadily until the angel calmed down.
“I - I know what you’re talking about, I think. With the crying, and the hurt. I missed you, Cas. I missed you a lot. And though I did not cry, every night I looked down on Earth and I hoped that you would wait for me. You could have easily abandoned me, insisted that you’d never cared for me and left it at that. But you didn’t. You’re here. And now, I never want to let you go.”
The two figures sat there, angel and human outlined in the pale light of the moon that drifted through the window. They did not look at each other - being together, feeling each other’s touch, was enough. Cas closed his eyes and hummed. Sam pulled Cas closer and felt Cas’ humming resonate in his chest.
“We can make this work, Sam,” Cas said, breaking the blissful silence to assure himself and Sam of this fact. “We can make this work.”
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