sassy jesus

Best things from the Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson bootleg:
  • THE LESBIAN AND DISABLED NARRATOR.
  • The random people who keep on dropping dead because of arrows.
  • THE DISCO MUSIC INTRODUCING CALHOUN, MONROE, BUREN AND CLAY LIKE THEY ARE ON A CAT WALK.
  • “THIS MAN IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE GREATEST LAND GRAB IN AMERICAN HISTORY–he makes Jefferson look like a pussy! I can’t imagine what he’s making ME look like in the process!” - Monroe
  • “SHUT UP VAN BUREN” Monroe says as he slams his hands on the table. 
  • Calhoun saying “we need to get to the bottom of this” and Buren jumping up and shouting “BOTTOMS! YEAH” (Buren is like a sassy gay okay)
  • “JESUS CHRIST VAN BUREN, now why do you always need to be such a MOTHER FUCKER??” - Monroe
  • “Tell Martha to keep the bed warm for me while you’re out blowing guys!” Jackson says he told George Washington.
  • Jackson acting like an emo brat and throwing temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. 
  • John Quincy Adams being a vain fuck
  • The whole Jackson talking to Native American tribe leaders and promising them things that they are never going to get and swindling them out of their land because fuck that guy. 
  • Buren dropping his cake on Adams and hits Adams as he grabs it back and Adams starts liking the cinnamon off of his leg with his finger
  • “And the Spanish?” “FUCK THE BRITISH” “and the Spanish?” “The British are assholes!”
  • “What’s with the baby?” [Jackson is holding Lyncoya] “NO REASON”
  • “The era of good feelings??? More like the area of… well BAD FEELINGS.”
  • Hickory doesn’t just pertain to the length and girth of his penis
  • Jackson saying he was gonna shove a big long thing of populism right up James Monroe’s ass
  • Henry Clay’s weasel
  • THE JACKSON CROWD LAP DANCE
  • Jackson pulls up a chair and starts talking about his problems and then all the northerners pull up and chair and NOBODY can hear a thing they are saying because everyone is talking at the same time. 
  • THE ENTIRE ROCK STAR SONG
  • Election of 1828 and they are accusing Jackson of all these random things: “THAT YOUR MOTHER WAS A PROSTITUTE” “It’s how she met my dad!” “THAT YOU FATHER WAS HALF BLACK” “I dunno he looked pretty white to me”
  • “EAT A DICK YOU WEASEL WEARING FUCK” Jackson to Clay
  • “It was around this time that Rachel Jackson began to die of grief” “Die of grief?” “Yeah, it’s the 19th century that’s the kind of shit that happened”
  • BUREN FACE PLANTING AS HE RUNS INTO THE OVAL OFFICE
  • Jackson getting what he deserved in the end. 
  • Second nature, just that whole song. 
  • Jackson: “I thought history would vidicate me…” Narrator: “You can’t shoot history in the neck.”
  • Calhoun: “Aren’t you supposed to be dead?” Monroe: “Yes, YES…”

The other day at work I was stewing about a situation in which my words got a bit twisted. There was a miscommunication not on my end, but it fell on me anyways.

I was vacuuming away, thinking it over. I thought to myself,
“I can’t stand apologizing for things I didn’t do. I ALWAYS do that. This stuff isn’t even my fault.”

Okay, so maybe my thought life is a little dramatic but this time it really wasn’t my fault.
Anyways. In chimes Jesus with a revelation. I imagined it with a tinge of sass because I can be a little dramatic. Maybe he was even sipping some tea in a sasstastic way with a slight side eyed glance.

But he said something along the lines of,
“Yeah, imagine dying for things you didn’t even do.”


OKAY I see you. Point taken J man. Thanks for reminding me of your glory & goodness.

-31Women (Emma)

asdfhkahladfhkl… but rose hair tho

3

“Jesus Christ, that’s a pretty face
The kind you’d find on someone that could save
If they don’t put me away
Well it’ll be a miracle
Do you believe you’re missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?”

6

This page is a continuation of my last Rohan comic (which is, itself, a sequel to my very first Morioh comic)! Now, before you start filling my inbox with Comic Book Guy-style comments like “You fool, Rohan has never missed an update!” I would put it to you that while something as insignificant as the apocalyptic acceleration of time couldn’t stop him from making his deadlines, his pride and self-destructive behaviour totally could. (Plus, I really just wanted to do a parody of the last Jojo hiatus announcement, which is killing me.)