sassmaster extraordinaire

the signs as women of the MCU
  • aries: jane ‘queen of the science’ foster
  • taurus: bobbi ‘let me get my fucking batons’ morse
  • gemini: pepper ‘fuck with me and regret it’ potts
  • cancer: wanda ‘i will fuck with your brains’ maximoff
  • leo: jemma ‘precious baby scientist’ simmons
  • virgo: peggy ‘do i look like i give a shit about your patriarchy’ carter
  • libra: darcy ‘sassmaster extraordinaire’ lewis
  • scorpio: natasha ‘i can kill you in my sleep’ romanoff
  • sagittarius: melinda ‘don’t touch my fucking team’ may
  • capricorn: sharon ‘i’ll make up my own fucking mind’ carter
  • aquarius: lady ‘i’m the biggest fucking badass in all nine realms’ sif
  • pisces: maria ‘don’t even fucking think about it’ hill

anonymous asked:

Sam is...just...*flails and sobs*

*flails and sobs with you* May I suggest a few descriptors?

  • kind
  • self-sacrificing
  • supremely intelligent
  • for real though 
  • actual freakin’ genius
  • cool under pressure
  • considerate
  • compassionate
  • dedicated
  • self-effacing
  • badass cinnamon roll (slightly charred)
  • sassmaster extraordinaire™
  • faithful
  • hopeful
  • uncompromisingly optimistic about the human capacity for change
  • possessed of the prettiest fluffy mane
  • owner of the world’s prettiest and most persuasive puppy eyes
  • actual psychic
  • freaking superhero
  • savior of  the broken the beaten and the damned  the actual world
  • unwavering proponent of free will
  • actual saint
  • sweet
  • brave
  • selfless
  • Sam Fucking Winchester
Eyes, the Soul, and Other Metaphysical Bullshit: A Short Essay by Levi Ackerman

Title: Eyes, the Soul, and Other Metaphysical Bullshit: A Short Essay by Levi Ackerman
Characters: Hanji Zoe x Levi
Genre: Romance / Humor
Rating: K

Levihan Week Day 4: Eyes


Whoever said eyes were the windows to the soul was full of shit.

As far as Levi was concerned, a person’s eyes could tell one of two things: what they wanted, and whether or not they were lying.

Hanji Zoe, for instance.

Whether stuck behind glasses or goggles, the woman’s eyes were in constant motion. Looking for titans, at titans, reading reports, skimming books, looking up at the wall, trying to look in the wall, then at the birds fluttering above it. She wanted knowledge – and ultimately, answers. To dig into the meat of life and emerge, triumphant, with the truth. Which truth? That was anyone’s guess.

Now, when it came to lying he had to admit those brown eyes were a bit more subtle. Most gave away a lie when they inevitably broke eye contact. Not her. She’d stare you down, lying to your face all the while. But even she had a tell. You knew shitty-glasses was lying when her eyes widened and her pupils contracted. What are you talking about? Of course I didn’t spill my coffee all over your clean laundry, she’d say, blinking like an owl attempting to stare into the fucking sun.

Sure, her eyes may tell a few things, but they were a far cry from any kind of window to the soul. They weren’t near expressive enough for that. The woman was the embodiment of kinetic energy. Hell, her whole body was a walking, talking wide-open window.

The way she would wander around, lips pinched with two thick creases lining the space between her brows, deep in the throes of solving whatever question currently plagued her. Long fingers dexterously juggled pens, papers, books, ledgers, all while she zipped through headquarters, popping sporadically from one room to the next. And when there were no papers, books, or ledgers to occupy them, short nails, stained with shit he was afraid to identify, picked, playing with the buttons of her coat.

During the day, she walked with the long, sure strides of someone who possessed a rare awareness of their place in this world. Nights found her wedged against her bed, her long legs folded up against her chest, and her forehead pressed into her knees. And when he found her, on nights such as these, she’d sink into his arms, body relaxing as she relinquished for a short while, the self-inflicted weight of the world.

And when she finally slept, it was sound, with legs tangled in sheets and arms flung haphazardly over her head.

Waking up was slow, languid – the antithesis to her daytime routine. Extending her arms and legs in a spine-popping stretch, she’d speak, consonants soft and vowels stretched out, in a voice still hoarse from sleep. And when her eyes finally opened, lazily blinking against the warm light, he was the first thing they found. 

anonymous asked:

Oh. I have read it all. :( these are all listed as must-read ones over fanlore. And if I try searching over ao3 or ff, I get spirk or past nyota Spock, which I don't want to read. I guess the official novels it is for me now. Thanks. I need to figure out how to ask questions with my own account which I created sometime back and not able to login.

Here are some more obscure ones that I also love and maybe you haven’t found yet:

Fourteen Days of Shitty Coffee by igrockspock which isn’t super heavy on the S/U but what’s there is adorable

For One Last Landing by ignipes which again, isn’t really a romance story but there are some paragraphs that without fail make me melt

The Sum Of Both Of Us by igrockspock which I try to keep my cool about but can’t because I just love it so much

Careless Whisper by Valyria (valinde) which is hilarious and hot and silly and steamy and maybe it’s not supposed to be as funny as I find it, but the end of it always makes me laugh

Stars Clustered Around by Glamaphonic which is a series of drabbles and be still my heart, I could read these all day every day

Lunch and Other Obscenities by Rheanna which only has hints of S/U but the hints are so good and it’s all so cute and Gaila

A Long Way To A Terrible Joke by Glamaphonic which doesn’t even have Uhura in it but Spock the Sassmaster Extraordinaire is out in full force so it doesn’t even matter

A Meditative State by tristesses which is one of my favorite established relationship fics because they’re just so comfortable with each other that I want to smush them (they do plenty of smushing on their own, though, which is just as good)

If You Should Take Me by Sigridhr which rivals Anodyna’s writing for just being beautiful (and the sheer adorableness of it is pretty amazeballs too)

A Highly Logical Cultural Practice by Anodyna (this is like a game of ‘spot the writers psicygni freaks out over) which is, I don’t know, just stupidly good, there aren’t words, go read it if you haven’t

The Virgin by Anodyna which, see above but now Gaila’s in it too!

Vulcans Do Not Lie Usually by bookdragon01 because Spocko thinks his way out of a spot of trouble in the most adorkable way ever

Pathways by Raspberry Girl which I need to reread but I remember loving

And I Love You by Blue Moon 3 because of early morning cuddles and the fact that these two are soulmates for forever and ever

The Logic of Languages by misscam because Nyota’s going to promote him to boyfriend and two years into this fandom and that line still slays me

How to Get the Vulcan You Want in Six Easy Steps by outtabreath in which everyone is silly and the story is just hilarious

Nouvelle Cuisine by Siria which is a fic that I didn’t bookmark in my Rapid Reading Of The Entire Fandom in the summer of 2013 and just rediscovered

Office Hours by MiraMira because he likesss herrrr

Component Parts by rosa_acicularis which I somehow missed in my  Rapid Reading Of The Entire Fandom and just read for the first time a few weeks ago

Logic and Languages by lily_winterwood which is just beautiful and I am such a sucker for these two being friends with each other before they ever kiss

Historical Perspectives on the Changing Politics of a Relationship by carnationsandrobots which, just stab me with a dull spoon right in the heart because Nyota runs over in the rain and he tries to not run after her too and these two are going to be how I die

And finally… Surak and Socrates Want You to Masturbate by Igrockspock which again Uhura doesn’t make an appearance but Spock just loves her so much and Gaila Gaila Gaila

Other than that, I know there are more stories about these two out there, many of which I haven’t read so maybe if any other followers have shoutouts or their own stories they want to add to the list, we could do a reprisal of our most loved fics about our favorite communications officer and the vulcan who adores her?  That said, it’s not the largest fandom and the pace at which new stories are added is unfortunately slow.  I’m hoping the new movie brings about new fans, or that there’s an uptick in participation, though I know that shipping S/U comes with a side serving of wank and ridiculousness that is largely absent in other fandoms and yet seems to plague this one in a way that depressingly enough hasn’t ebbed over the last six years.

That said, who are we to let some crazies on the internet stop us, and this pairing and this fandom is, in my opinion, some of the best of the best and the stories written about these two and the fanarts created are so incredible I’m pretty much never over it.

OKAY I NEED AEDION AND CASSIAN TO MEET

THE BROEST BROS TO EVER BRO

BONDING OVER GENERAL/COMMANDER STUFF AND LOYALTY,WEAPONS AND ALE AND THEIR AWKWARD REACTION TO WOMEN *cough* LYSANDRA AND NESTA*cough*

WHILE SAID WOMEN ARE IN A CORNER WATCHING THE TWO SINGING, DRUNK AS SHIT IDIOTS AND THE POOR LADIES JUST GO “why”

BUT LYSANDRA AND NESTA ARE SASSMASTER EXTRAORDINAIRE FOR REAL EVEN ROWAN IS ASTOUNDED BY THE JOINED SASS.  and cassian and aeion are a little bit scared of the awesome combo BUT THEY ARE WARRIORS, WHAT DO YOU MEAN CASSIAN WALKS IN POLE WACTHING NESTA IF YOU DON’T HAVE A PROOF IT NEVER HAPPENED OK AND NO AEDION DOESN’T BLUSH WOLF OF THE NORTH DID YOU EVER SEE A WOLF BLUSH NO AHAH CHECK AND MATE.

NO BUT REALLY I IMAGINE THEM LIKE IN A TAVERN AND THE GIRLS PASS BY AND THERE’S LIKE THIS PAINED AND PINING SOUND OF “brooo”

anonymous asked:

Why do you hate Fury so much and refuse to ship him? Like it really seems like you don't think he deserves good things and that comes off as really racist and ableist. So what's the deal?

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

Originally posted by instalaugh

wow okay so this is like the greatest leap i’ve ever seen you guys seriously?? also my first anon hate omg this is really happpening i’ve made it i’m so excited wow wow 

Lmao okay, anon, okay. Here’s the thing. I have mentioned Nick Fury exactly once, on an ask from last night about Phil Coulson. During an ask game. For my birthday. Which is today. Happening right now. 

So first of all, rude. 

Secondly, I love Nick Fury. Here’s the link to the post where I mentioned him, where you can see that I simply stated that I don’t ship Fury with Coulson, on a question asking about my who my Notp with Coulson would be. There’s also a reaction gif. 

I don’t ship Tony Stark with Sam Wilson, either; does that make me racist too? I don’t ship Charles Xavier with Logan, does that make me ableist? (I ship most of them with myself mostly lmao but my point is, just because I don’t ship two totally random people together, that doesn’t mean I hate them?? I’m unsure of how you even came to that conclusion tbh.) 

Like, come on. Really, anon? I’ll shout it to the heavens. I LOVE NICK FURY. Sassmaster extraordinaire. Expert in badassery. Could kill you with one look, probably. Deserves all the nice things. I literally love him. I just don’t ship him with Phil Coulson. (Mostly because I ship Phil with Melinda too much.) I make that Justin Timberlake gif face at every ship I don’t like, really. 

It’s easy to hide behind a grey face and make the furthest leaps just to get attention, I know. I almost didn’t answer this at all, but I love Nick Fury and I want people to know that. I also want people to know that whoever you are, you’re kind of being an ass to me on my birthday, and I kind of don’t appreciate that. 

Okay so anyway, thanks for making yourself look like an idiot; that was a highly entertaining birthday present. Enjoy these gifs. 

Originally posted by fallontonight

Originally posted by robotsandramblings

Originally posted by omegalevel

Originally posted by r10t3r