sassiest little shit

Which Classics Author Should You Fight?
  • Charles Dickens: The Victorian equivalent of a white male tumblr meninist. Fight his past newspaper blogger ass, though the guy does write about his own "tragic experiences", so be warned that a caricature of you will probably be appearing in his next novel.
  • The Brontes: idk they're from Yorkshire I wouldn't risk it
  • Dante Aligheri: Yess he spends all his time in his room writing self-insert Bible fanfic and never goes outside, 10/10 would fight this nerd. You will win. Easily.
  • Mary Shelley: Why would you want to fight Mary Shelley???? She's nice and bad things happened to her and she invented scifi! Go reevaluate your life choices.
  • Victor Hugo: Don't. He will kill you otp viciously and then spend 38 pages describing someone's hat.
  • Jonathon Swift: It's 50/50 you'll win, but you might fall asleep from his long-winded prose before you land a punch.
  • William Shakespeare: Little is known about him, other than the fact that he had free access to bears and swords and a penchant for revenge and mass murder as plot devices. If you're gonna fight him, watch your back.
  • C.S. Lewis: Whiny and allergic to adjectives and allegorical and super racist. Fight Him. So long as your childhood can take it.
  • J.R.R Tolkien: Shakespeare's biggest fan, so a total dork. Also old and shell shocked. Your call.
  • William Thackeray: Him and his friends will get drunk and gang up on you. Not advisable.
  • Alexandre Dumas: He was once described as "the most generous, large-hearted being in the world" and had extensive military training. Just... don't.
  • Harper Lee: Still alive, so she's got a foot up on the rest of them.
  • George Orwell: Total fuckin' politics nerd. Will keep a diary of the fight.
  • Jane Austen: You'd feel too mean, it'd be like punching some harmless lana del-ray book club chic. Fight her if you want but be aware of the emotional consequences.
  • Mark Twain: Constantly angry looking. Just look at that mustache. You want to fight him already, don't you?
  • Oscar Wilde: The sassiest little shit ever. Be prepared for cane wielding sassmeister. You'll probably lose, but it'll be worth it.
  • clint barton: can calculate any danger anytime, smarter than any computer
  • clint barton: sassiest and funniest little shit in this world
  • clint barton: loyal as fuck
  • clint barton: never lets power take over him, never wants to become one of those immortal guys
  • clint barton: uses his unlimited shield card for pizza and to pay for other people's rents
  • clint barton: can fight against an army of robots, aliens or anything with his arrows and bow. he's good enough
  • clint barton: no camps, no money and robots, no unlimited power, no serum, just a circus kid who's too good
  • clint barton: fights naked with assassins and still kicks their asses
  • clint barton: defines every injury and every risk of death as luck and "wow i'm still alive fuck it hurts"
  • clint barton: fighting with a room of men and still thinking good of the dog instead of his
  • people: but.. hawkeye??? is really unrealistic. and boring. a cheap wannabe of green arrow. really boring. he's doing nothing in avengers.

anonymous asked:

You have many posts about 'Skulduggery' and I just wanted to ask what is it and what is it about

ANON SIT DOWN AND LET ME TELL YOU A STORY!

Skulduggery Pleasant is a series of 9 children’s books, much in the same ilk as Harry Potter, written by the magnificent Derek Landy. They’re set in Ireland, but you can find them all over the world. 

Skulduggery is a living skeleton, kept alive through magic and he is the most arrogant, egotistical, self-aware, sarcastic, narcissistic, rude, brilliant, hilarious, witty, sarcastic, dangerous, terrifying, intelligent yet drop dead stupid book character you will ever read.

His talented and wonderful assistant Valkyrie (or Stephanie as she’s known in Book 1 before she takes a name) is a teenage girl who he trains in the art of fighting and magic and she is the sassiest little shit on the planet. 

There are a world of brilliant secondary characters like Tanith and Ghastly whose love will break you, Fletcher the adorable little shit, China, the Monster Hunters, the delightfully shit Scapegrace and more.

But the relationship between Valkyrie and Skulduggery is the beautiful clue that holds this series together as they solve crimes and mysteries in the world of magic, saving the world time and again by hitting their problems very hard in the face and getting very very lucky. 

Did I mention THE FUCKING SASS?!

Read it. Like now. It’s the best book series ever. It will make you laugh and cry and laugh and cry and laugh and cry.

And then break you. 

But enjoy!

Super self indulgent Reverse HP AU because Reverse things are fun:

• Gryffindors and Slytherins switch

• Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws switch

• Slytherin Harry, Ron, and Hermione

• Gryffindor Draco, Pansy, and Blaise

• Hufflepuff Luna

• Headmaster Tom Riddle

• Dark Lord Dumbledore (idk what his new Dark Lord name would be)

• Blood statuses are also switched for some people (like Harry and Draco)

• Most of the Slytherins don’t give a fuck about blood purity but some do and they are very vocal

• Harry the sassiest little shit with no filter and a dirty mouth

• Hermione’s still a know-it-all but knows when it’s necessary to let people know she is

• Ron still has jealousy problems and insecurities with his brothers but they are very much lessened

• All the Weasley’s in Slytherin

• Slytherin Ginny who is very overprotective of her Luna

• Luna still herself mainly but doesn’t have the thick skin the canon Luna does, ie she’s more sensitive but not by much

• Excited about all the things and talks a lot, Ravenclaw! Cedric

• Gellbus

• Harry has the most obnoxious crush on Draco and loves messing with him

• Draco blushes really easily and gets flustered by Harry a lot. Like an angry and embarrassed kind of flustered

• Quidditch positions are the same

• The entire black family, except Sirius, are Gryffindors. Think about it

• Gryffindor Snape

• Draco is the chosen one whose parents are dead and were killed by Dumbledore

• still pureblood Narcissa and muggleborn Lucius

• half blood Lily and still pureblood James are alive

• Petunia is a squib

• Still pureblood Blaise and muggleborn Pansy

• Beauxbatons! Viktor and Durmstrang! Fleur

And probably other shit too but it’s 3am whoops

I love the Avengers because they're all the sassiest little shits

Like really 

They are killing me

Clint puts the sass in assassinate

Natasha has the greatest bitch face (it even rivals Sam Winchester’s)

This unforgettable line 

He saw the opportunity, and he took it.

Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap

Loki is literally the god of little shits

I mean, just look at the guy

He screams sass

Even his smile is sassy as fuck

Let’s not forget Steve fucking Rogers

Apparently, the 40s were full of sass

Coulson is sassy even while dying

Agent Sassmaster

HOW CAN HE BE SO ADORABLE AND YET SO SASSY

Even Agent HIll has an amazing bitch face

Here comes Steve Sassypants Rogers

Apparently, the serum didn’t affect his sass at all

Even the alien god has some sass in him

This was the highlight of this climatic scene

Tony is the biggest sassmaster

There are so many I can add of him

But here’s a few 

That just about sums his sassiness up

Of course, we can’t forget about pepper

Like this punny yet crass piece of sass

And this iconic line

So seriously, the Avengers are the sassiest motherfuckers out there (aside from Spider man)

no but how hard do you think Clint is going to regret naming his baby after Natasha and Pietro when that kid inevitably grows to be the sassiest little shit imaginable

like “oh, yeah, this was a great idea, why didn’t I just name him after Stark, too, while I was at it. maybe throw in a bit of Steve and Darcy. Nathaniel Pietro Steven Anthony Lewis Barton. just go for it, guarantee that there is a never-ending font of backtalk and snark on the farm. Not that there isn’t already.”

anonymous asked:

top 10 characters that make you laugh?

ooo this is a good one! 

  • Laurent from Captive Prince by C. S. Pacat. Just because he’s such a little shit. He won’t make you laugh in the first book, you have to get to the third book. I just love him. 
  • Percy Jackson from the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan. Literally the sassiest little shit in existence. 
  • Rowan from Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas. But not until Queen of Shadows. Like that almond oil thing. I laughed for 5 whole minutes. 
  • Kenji from Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi. Kenji was just an all round fabulous character and definitely also a little shit. 
  • Alec from The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare. Mostly in City of Heavenly Fire though, where the sass really shines. That entire time they’re in hell, jfc. Alec is everything. 
  • Rose from Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. Sarcasm queen. 
  • Lila from A Darker Shade of Magic by V E Schwab. It’s not necessarily that she’s funny. It’s just that she’s such an all round fantastic character who takes no shit and will do whatever it takes to get what she wants that I occasionally laugh at how brilliant she is and she has to be on this list. 
  • Roshar from The Winner’s trilogy by Marie Rutkoski. His tiger. That’s all. 
  • Roar from Under the Never Sky by Veronica Rossi. Ultimate bff and sassy little shit. 
  • Iko from The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer. Just the best mechanical sidekick ever. 


None of these characters’ main trait is to be the comic relief, but I don’t really love characters unless they make me hurt more than they make me laugh. So these are the ones who I love a lot and made me laugh at some point or another. Also a lot of them are just so sassy and sarcastic. I obviously have a type.

poetdameron  asked:

I love your headcanons of Ben Solo, man, they are killing me. Right there in the feelings, I can't. Also: Ben Solo not knowing shit about flirting like his old man, not even realizing he is using sarcasm to protect his awkward self all the time, pointing at himself as in doubt when someone accuses him and acting all offended on it, sassing his mother and uncle and Luke like "there are two of them, why?".

yes! he’s got absolutely dreadful people skills, making friends was never his strong suit and he can’t woo the ladies or men (however he’s not really interested in either, he just likes attention) to save his life. though there are times in his younger years where poe dameron would drag ben over to a someone and be like ‘my friend ben is a prince and he has a crush on you’. also, he did not inherit his mother’s knack for diplomacy, he couldn’t negotiate his way out of a paper bag.

he did however inherit her ability to come up with the best insults this side of coruscant. more importantly ben solo is the spawn of two of the galaxy’s best sass masters, so he is without a doubt the sassiest little shit and it always comes as a shock because his remarks come out of NOWHERE. he knows how to wound people with words because they’re always so calculated. once he starts growing into his own, he’s absolutely silver-tongued.

3

Starkid Challenge: Brian Holden- care to comment?

Brian Holden is without doubt the sassiest little shit I’ve ever come across. I know he doesn’t think he’s a troll but he’s deluded. Also it’s unfair how he can be ridiculously hot but also ridiculously adorable just no. Also stop being so talented please? Thanks

Oh and his version of guys like potter is one of my favourite covers just saying