sarcasm books

there are four types of people:

neon signs, biting your lip, adrenalin, late night talks, vintage vinyls, raspberries

journals and stationery, whispers, feeling sleepy, browsing wikipedia for 2 hours, streets in foreign cities, sculptures

daisies, the sound of laughter, pressed flowers, genuine compliments, oversized sweaters

marble, sarcasm, old books, lightning, skyscrapers, crystals, proving them wrong

WHAT YOU ENJOY BASED ON YOUR SUN SIGN
  • ARIES: being expressive, sports, fidgeting, moving around, impulsiveness, living in the moment
  • TAURUS: fashion, relationships, money, materials, food, tranquility, peace, routine
  • GEMINI: voicing your thoughts, poetry, writing, journalism, religion/cultures, doing something new, realism
  • CANCER: art, helping others, being/feeling at home, family, pets, children, elders, music, routine, memories
  • LEO: theatre, art, being generous, standing in the spotlight, singing/dancing, pets, being the best, winning, competition, confidence
  • VIRGO: books, learning, someone who takes care of them (they won't do it themselves tbh), when everything is organised and clean, honesty
  • Libra: again; honest, love, jewellery, pretty things, pets, relationships, crushes, attraction, tranquility, the little things, happiness
  • Scorpio: the unusual, the quiet, mischief, mysteries, poetry, art, books, music, instruments, anything abstract, "weird" things/people, dark humour
  • Sagittarius: happy things, idealised things, travelling, thinking philosophical, cute smiles, walking, running, humour, sports, being sassy or brave
  • Capricorn: work, family life, good finances, stability, honesty, sarcasm, old things, books, literature, responsibility, close friends, manners
  • Aquarius: friendship, travelling, adaptability, change, the strange, humour and wittiness, freedom, equality, experiencing different things and feelings
  • Pisces: dreams, art, music, abstract things, innocence and cute things attract you, strange and weird things, being themselves, being loved, overthinking... jk they just always do that.

“Yo siempre he admirado al villano, al fuera de ley, al hijo de perra. No aguanto al típico chico bien afeitado, con su corbata y un buen trabajo. Me gustan los hombres desesperados, hombres con dientes rotos y mentes rotas y destinos rotos. Me interesan. Están llenos de sorpresas y explosiones. También me gustan las mujeres viles, las perras borrachas, con las medias caídas y arrugadas y las caras pringosas de maquillaje barato. Me interesan más los pervertidos que los santos. Me encuentro bien entre los marginados porque soy un marginado. No me gustan las leyes, ni morales, religiones o reglas. No me gusta ser modelado por la sociedad.”






—“Se busca una mujer”, Charles Bukowski.

Witcher moments (8) - Exquisite sarcasm

The mist thinned a little. Geralt extracted another letter from his bag, one he had recently received from a strange courier. He had already read it about thirty times.

“Dear friend …”

The witcher swore quietly, looking at the sharp, angular, even runes drawn with energetic sweeps of the pen, faultlessly reflecting the author’s mood. He felt once again the desire to try to bite his own backside in fury. When he was writing to the enchantress a month ago he had spent two nights in a row contemplating how best to begin. Finally, he had decided on ‘Dear friend’. Now he had his just deserts.

“Dear friend, your unexpected letter—which I received not quite three years after we last saw each other—has given me much joy. My joy is all the greater as various rumours have been circulating about your sudden and violent death. It is a good thing that you have decided to disclaim them by writing to me; it is a good thing, too, that you are doing so so soon. From your letter it appears that you have lived a peaceful, wonderfully boring life, devoid of all sensation. These days such a life is a real privilege, dear friend, and I am happy that you have managed to achieve it.

I was touched by the sudden concern which you deigned to show as to my health, dear friend. I hasten with the news that, yes, I now feel well; the period of indisposition is behind me, I have dealt with the difficulties, the description of which I shall not bore you with.

It worries and troubles me very much that the unexpected present you received from Fate brings you worries. Your supposition that this requires professional help is absolutely correct. Although your description of the difficulty—quite understandably—is enigmatic, I am sure I know the Source of the problem. And I agree with your opinion that the help of yet another magician is absolutely necessary.

I feel honoured to be the second to whom you turn. What have I done to deserve to be so high on your list?

Rest assured, my dear friend; and if you had the intention of supplicating the help of additional magicians, abandon it because there is no need. I leave without delay, and go to the place which you indicated in an oblique yet, to me, understandable way. It goes without saying that I leave in absolute secrecy and with great caution. I will surmise the nature of the trouble on the spot and will do all that is in my power to calm the gushing source. I shall try, in so doing, not to appear any worse than other ladies to whom you have turned, are turning or usually turn with your supplications. I am, after all, your dear friend. Your valuable friendship is too important to me to disappoint you, dear friend.

Should you, in the next few years, wish to write to me, do not hesitate for a moment. Your letters invariably give me boundless pleasure.

Your friend Yennefer”

The letter smelled of lilac and gooseberries.

Geralt cursed.

“Andrzej Sapkowski - Blood of elves”


I loved Yen before but after I read this letter and I finished laughing I loved her even more. This sarcasm is priceless.