I considered cutting this down, but she’s just too fucking awesome.
Milunka Savic. In 1912, at the age of 24, she got bored of her regular life, chopped off all her hair, dressed in men’s clothing, and volunteered for the Serbian Army to help fight the First Balkan War and drive the Ottoman Turkish Empire out of Europe forever on a tsunami of bullets and brain matter. Since nobody realized she wasn’t a dude (or at least they didn’t give a shit if she was or wasn’t) they handed Milunka a rifle and a helmet and a couple of hand grenades and sent her on her merry way to blast the entrails out of the enemies of the Serbian people with a chuckable sphere of explosives the size of a softball.
Savic face-shanked her way through the First Balkan War with a razor-sharp bayonet and a handful of 7.62xmmR ammunition, participating on the front lines of several key battles as the combined armies of Serbia, Romania, Bulgaria, Greece, and a couple other countries smashed the armies of the crumbling Ottoman Empire and drove their shattered remnants back across the Bosporus and out of the Balkans forever. Unfortunately, however, this was just the beginning of some pretty fucking dark days in Southeastern Europe. You see, apparently some expansionist assholes in Bulgaria got their panties in a wad about wanting to add Macedonia to their Empire, but since Serbia is the one that captured it from the Turks they of course said take a long hike up the slopes of Mount Doom and dump your balls in the lava when you get to the top. The Bulgarians took this out of context, got mad, and sent their entire army into Macedonia to wrench it from the cold dead hands of every Serbian they could find, two million soldiers mobilized on either side of the border, and mere months after the Balkans had miraculously united in a common cause (death-hate for the Turks) the Bulgarian and Serbs went right back to beating the shit out of each other with lead pipes and pitchforks.
Pvt. Savic barely had time to swap the dried blood from her rifle before the Second Balkan War was on like Donkey Kong, and once again this estrogenocidal kicker of other peoples’ nutsacks was back out on the front lines lobbing grenades with reckless abandon like the Ikari Warriors or a tennis ball machine juryrigged by the Unabomber Ted Kaczynski. Positioned at the dead center of the Serbian lines during the Battle of Bregalnica, Milunka Savic and the now-famous Serbian “Iron Regiment” bore the brunt of the Bulgarian attack, withstanding the full might of their forces and then launching a desperate series of counter-attacks aimed at breaking their onslaught. On her tenth (!) combat charge leading a squad of men straight-on over barbed wire towards Bulgarian machine guns, artillery guns, and bayonets, Savic was hit by an enemy grenade and blown off her feet with shrapnel wounds throughout her body, and could only watch and bleed as her countrymen managed to carry this final attack, defeat the Bulgarians, and capture two divisions of enemy soldiers in the process. The badly-wounded Savic was carried to the field hospital, where the doc working on her was fairly surprised to learn that she had girl parts where her man-junk was supposed to be.
Once she was healed of her wounds, Private Milunka Savic was brought before her commanding officer to try and explain what the hell was the deal with the whole not having a dong thing. She stood at attention and said, yeah, sure, I’m a girl, but I also just fucking charged face-first into artillery fire while spewing large-caliber rifle fire in every direction and dishing out hand grenades like parking tickets, so deal with it. Her commander offered her a transfer to the nursing corps, where she could hang back from the front lines and patch up wounded soldiers and let the real men handle all the messy bayonet-to-the-crotch work.
She told him she would not accept any position that did not allow her to carry a gun, charge into combat wherever it presented herself, and fight the enemies of her people.
He told her he’d think about it, and that she should come back tomorrow for his decision.
She stayed at full attention and told him, “I will wait”.
He made her stand there for about an hour before he agreed to let her stay in the infantry. He also promoted her to Junior Sergeant, because, fuck it, she probably had bigger balls than any man in her unit anyways.
The Second Balkan War ended in 1913, but even more nasty shit went down in Sarajevo Town on June 28, 1914, when the Austro-Hungarian Empire’s Archduke Franz Ferdinand – a man famous solely for his ability to be shot to death – was assassinated by a Serbian Anarchist named Gavrilo Princep. Certainly you’ve heard this story before, particularly if you’re a big fan of hipster music, but basically the Austro-Hungarians were good buddies with the Bulgarians, and Princep was like “fuck that” because his people had just been to war with Bulgaria, etc. Long story short, Austria-Hungary was pissed, and they invaded Serbia. Serbia was allies with the United States, England, France, and Russia, and Austria-Hungary was friends with the Turks and the German Empire, and the next thing you know you’ve got World War I on your hands and the Austro-Hungarian Empire is marching half a million jackbooted Teutonic goons with stupid hats and large rifles across the Serbian border to turn their entire country into a flaming inferno.
The Austo-Hungarian Empire sent out 450,000 men from a hardcore, battle-tested, professional army that was equipped with top-of-the-line German and Austrian artillery and machine guns and drilled to lock-step precision in every aspect of military combat. The Serbian Army consisted of 250,000 citizen-soldiers, mostly volunteers, carrying cast-off weaponry handed down to them from the Imperial Russian Army (you know, the guys who had just lost a humiliating war to Japan and who were about to get massacred by the Germans). So, as you can expect, some crazy shit was about to go down.
That crazy shit was that the entire Serbian Armed Forces formed up in one place and full-on balls-out charged a force that was nearly twice the size of their own.
Sergeant Milunka Savic, commander of the Iron Regiment’s Assault Bomber Squad, charged into the Battle of the Kolubara River armed with her Mosin-Nagant rifle and three bandoliers of hand grenades – one across each shoulder and one worn across her waist like a belt. She single-handedly assaulted an Austrian trench, rushing across No Man’s Land (I feel like there’s an Eowyn / Return of the King joke to be made here) hurling grenades out like Mardi Gras beads and blasting the fuck out of everything around her, then diving feet-first into an Austrian bunker with her bayonet at the ready. Inside, she found 20 men, all of whom threw their weapons down and surrendered to her. Once those POWs were secured, she continued on, dropping bombs like a Predator Drone and smoking enemy machine gun nests from distances so impressive that from this day forth her nickname was “The Bomber of Kolubara”, stopping only when an enemy artillery shell landed next to her and planted a couple pieces of shrapnel in her head. For her exploits on the battlefield, Savic received the Karadjordje Star with Swords, the highest award for bravery offered by the Kingdom of Serbia, and the battle was such a success that the Serbs pushed the Austrians out of Serbia completely. They didn’t return for 10 months.
Well, shrapnel in the head or not, there was still a war to fight, and Sergeant Savic went right back into action just a few months later. At this point, Serbia was in deep shit – they were alone, without any support, badly outnumbered, and being attacked from all sides by armies from Bulgaria, Austria, Germany, and the Ottoman Empire. Savic fought like a demon as the Serbian Army scrapped for their lives, earning a second Karadjordje Star at the Battle of Crna Reka in 1916 when she attacked a Bulgarian trench, cleared it out with grenades, rifle fire, and a bayonet, and single-handedly took 23 Bulgarian soldiers prisoner.
But the war was going badly for Serbia, and with the vengeful Bulgarians and Austrians burning Serb cities the Serbian Army evacuated as many civilians as they could and began a long, brutal fighting withdrawal through the knee-deep snow drifts and snow-covered mountains of Montenegro, Albania, and Kosovo as they withdrew to the coast. Milunka Savic was wounded seven more times during this fighting retreat (bringing her total wounds to nine!) as she and her people desperately attempted to evacuate tens of thousands of civilians and save the core of her army.
When she reached the coast and was evacuated by French and British warships, she was one of just 125,000 soldiers left in the Serbian Army.
The Serbian Army withdrew to Corfu, then Greece, where they joined up with the French Army and continued the war against the Turks and Krauts and other assorted villainy. Serving in the Serbian Brigade of the French Army, Sergeant Savic continued commanding the Assault Bomber Squad, fought through the rest of the war, ended up on the front page of some European Newspapers, and ended up winning enough awards from her service that her ribbon board weighed roughly the same as a suit of medieval plate armor. She received the French Legion d'Honneur twice, the Russian Cross of St. George (awarded for “undaunted courage by a non-commissioned officer), the British Medal of the Order of St. Michael, the Serbian Milos Obilic Medal, and was the only woman from World War I to receive the French Croix de Guerre (the highest bravery award they have).
The best story from this time period, however, is this. While stationed on a base in Thessalonica, some French officer got word that she was fucking brutal with hand grenades. He laughed at the idea that a woman could be that badass, so he took a bottle out of a case of ultra-expensive 1880 Cognac, set it on a post 40 meters (131 feet) away, and dared her the rest of the case that she couldn’t hit it.
She drilled it on her first try. That night her unit blew through 19 bottles of the finest Cognac on Earth.
After the war ended and Serbia was liberated, Milunka Savic declined an offer from the French government to move her to Paris and put her up with a nice pension, instead opting to return to her homeland. She got married, had a kid, got a job at a bank, and adopted three children who had been orphaned by the war. When the Germans came through Belgrade during the Second World War in 1940, Savic refused an invitation to attend a banquet held in honor of the city’s New German Overlords – a feat that got her a ten-month stint in Banjica Concentration Camp. She survived that as well, however, and after the war she was offered a state pension for being such a ridiculousy-hardcore war hero.
Milunka Savic, the world’s most decorated female war hero, died in Belgrade on October 5, 1973, at the age of 84. She was buried in a famous cemetery there with full military honors.
On this day in 1914, 100 years ago, Archduke of Austria and heir to the throne Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie were assassinated in Sarajevo, the capital of Bosnia and Herzegovina. They were killed by Serbian nationalist Gavrilo Princip who was driven to action by Austria’s annexation of Bosnia and Herzegovina in 1908. An attempt to blow up the Archduke’s car failed earlier in the day and his assassins had given up until Princip saw his car later in the day and shot the two. His death triggered a chain of events which led to the First World War. Austria-Hungary, in retaliation, declared war on Serbia, which led to the Central Powers (including Germany) joining on Austria’s side, and the Allied powers like Britain and France joining on Serbia’s side. On this day 5 years later in 1919, the Treaty of Versailles was signed in Paris, thus officially ending the First World War. On the centenary of this momentous day, one which altered the course of world history, it is important to remember the sacrifices made by the over 16 million who died in the ensuing conflict. One hundred years on, it is not our place to glorify nor belittle what they died for, but to solemnly remember the devastating effect of war.
“Don’t die darling, live for our children” - His dying words to his wife
There it was. A very distinctive sound. A sound of wings, a kind of a rustling, with the wind hitting feathers, whistling through in between them, caressing them. And yet it was very different from the sound the wings of a mere bird would have caused. A low thud, no, two - feet hitting the ground. Another rustling.
She moved, slowly, after a long day´s sleep. Allowed herself to feel the wind on her face and to slowly roll her neck before she even opened up her eyes. There had no more footsteps ever since the landing of this most interesting creature so close to her resting place. And she had decided for long by now that this time, she would find out more about this creature. So the time had most likely finally come.
Once she was ready to do so, her eyes opened up, quickly, fast, only to reveal orbs of a vulcanic red, shining brightly, fiery in the twilight of nightfall. She got up, unfolded from her crouched position to straighten herself up to - compared to a human body - quite a considerable height for a female. She folded her own wings slowly after spreading them a little bit more than she would once she found into her sleeping position. The sound was a way different one from the one who had drawn her finally out of her light slumber.
She tilted her head. Had the creature noticed her yet? She was not sure. It was hard to tell how good his eyes or ears might actually be. She still had no idea, even though she had been watching him for a while. Many times.
She had watched him before, had watched him come here, stand here. At times, he had just stood and watched, motionless, for hours. At other times, she had felt that he was thinking about, planning about flying, only the blinking of an eye away from it….and yet he had not done it, time after time.
Mel was used to humans. She was used to them behaving more than bewildering most of the time. They were interesting creatures, entertaining at times, helpful here and then, in their own way, but she definitely preferred observing them from afar than interacting with them. One should have thought that it might get better over the years, easier. But in fact, it never had. There were too many surprises, too many pitfalls, too many risks to get in trouble once they were actively involved.
This specimen though…well, he did look human, mostly. Until he revealed the largest wings - made of feathers - she had ever laid eyes on. And he seemed to think a lot. Dwell. Muse. He seemed not as rushed as most humans. And yet…yet she could tell that he he had not been happy most of the time he had visited her roof, had in fact been anything but.
She took two careful steps towards the creature in question by now. Her bare feet did not cause any sound on the ground. It was merely the tip of her tail, for once lazily dragged over the stony surface, that caused a faint scraping noise. It was a windy night, she noticed, now that she had straightened up and put her nose into the wind. Not too rough, but perfect for a flight. Perfect. Not for a quiet gliding trip, true, but perfect for an exciting ride.
Well, later on. First things first.
She stopped. Waited. Who knew what the big bird would be up to? She mused that she was taller than him, actually, but that was no guarantee for anything. He was of a broad built and she was not at all sure about what he could probably do with those wings, made of feathers or not. Her own were different, of a different form, made from a different substance - and they were her strongest weapon when push came to shove. Not that that had happened that often before. Through all the years, there had never been that much trouble with the creatures of the night…and people….humans…well, she had decided long ago to not try anymore to confront them with her natural form. The fiery color of her eyes - them being one of the features she was actually most proud of - and the night blue shade of her skin tended to irritate them. Bugs, she mused for the maybe thousandth time. That was at least how they usually had reacted. Poor wingless creatures, scared and scattering across each other.
But there were more important things to do now. To be more precise, there was this one special thing. One she had looked forward to do for so long by now.
Mel made a low, yet high sound, let it escape from her throat before she asked her question.
“So…”, she spoke up, her voice slightly raspy. “…you have finally decided to fly?”
My experience - seeing Chris Brown first time live
Wow…. First let me scream ‘cause I can’t believe that I’m writing this….
So 2 days ago medias in my country published story about Chris coming to my town Sarajevo with Sanela Diana Jenkins. As you all know Chris and Sanela are both doing their charity and they’re very close, she’s amazing woman and she did a lot for my country. I didn’t believe them, I was like.. No way he’s coming to my town, impossible…And today I went to celebrate Eid Mubarak with my family. I was off internet whole day and at one moment I decided to get on, the first thing I see is picture of Chris at our airport.. So my whole family is there and I started screaming… I was like I need to go, I need to see him… just hour later Mike posted picture of them “landing in South of France” and I was so sad, 'cause I thought that I missed him… So I decided to go out with my friends, to cheer myself up lol…and I it was like 10 pm, I get message from our admins, that he’s still there and they sent me picture of him sitting in one restaurant.. I was like.. that’s one my fav restaurant, I always go there…I took one of my friend and said you’re going with me.. I need to see him.. I came there and he was sitting with Sanela and her fam and Mijo, Mike and Jamal were there too.. He looked absolutely gorgeous, I can’t believe that someone can be so beautiful… the moment I came near their table I called Mijo and he turned and I said Mijo I’m the girl who made Project X video for Chris, Mijo couldn’t hear or understand and in a sec, that ugly bodyguard comes… He was like you can’t be here, you can’t take pics, he’s at vacation, have some respect bla bla… I told him, pls this is my only chance, he lives miles away from me.. I would totally understand that I can’t take picture if there was hundred of ppl waiting for pic, but it was only me and 2 more girls… other ppl were minding their business, 'cause in my country ppl don’t care so much about big stars like Chris (I know it sounds funny, but that’s how it is)… and he didn’t let me take pic… I told him, okay I will wait here for him to get up and he kept telling me you need to go… so I was standing near, he was this close to me
And I was waiting, then I noticed that girl and boy (who were sitting at the table next to his) were getting up… I told my friend, let’s go, we’re gonna sit next to him.. and I DID!!!!!! I fucking sat next to my fave…
(this picture was taken before I came, and where that girl is sitting, I sat in that chair after she left)
a table next to him WOAH. I finally had chance to see his flawless face right in front of me.. BUT OF COURSE.. that ugly bodyguard (I fucking hateeeeee him) came to me and he wanted to tell me that I can’t sit there or take pic.. but he didn’t know that all waiters know me, because I eat there very often and when he saw that waiter was happy to see me, he didn’t say anything and just stood right next to me, blocking me from seeing Chris… Like he could almost sit in my lap, because he leaned on my chair.. I told him so much bad things on my language, that he’s idiot, fuck you and all that shit (of course I couldn’t do anything, because we all know that he punched one guy).. in that moment I thought how I miss Big Pat, because he would let me take pic for sure… so I just ordered something and did my best to sit so I can see Chris… 15 minutes after, they got up and wanted to leave.. so I said I love you Chris and he turned and smiled at me, but that fucking bodyguard BLOCKED ME AGAIN… what a fucking idiot..btw he’s huuuuge… Chris looks absolutely beautiful, he’s got the perfect smile..lmaooo I took picture of what he ate (I’m a fucking stalker)
I didn’t want to follow them, because he had so much other bodyguards around too and I knew where they were going, 'cause my other friend sent me message… he told me that he’s going to our most popular club Hacienda.. so of course I went there… and he performed live… He was singing his ass off… I had best moments of my life… it was the best night ever… my fave, in my small country, in my small town, in the club where I go almost every Saturday performing and guess what.. I was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM… he was just feet away, I would jump on him or hug him, but bodyguard was right there, he would punch me lol… but IDC.. even that I didn’t take picture with him, I SAW HIM.. that was my biggest dream, to see my fave… even if it’s in big arena full of crowd or like this, where my dream came true, standing right in front of my fave, watching him singing some of my favorite songs… Fine China, Beautiful People, LAMN (he killed Busta’s part).. yoo Jamal is a great dancer, he’s so cuteeee, Mijo is hilarious… Chris even took his shirt off at one moment, he was there for Sanela’s son birthday, her son is one lucky kid… Chris recognized me from the restaurant, but he didn’t take pic, I don’t blame him, I was getting my life.. like there is only me and him… I was dancing so much,I didn’t even think about getting so much pics I just wanted to enjoy the moment, 'cause it’s once in a lifetime (my battery was almost dead, I took some pics for u guys, of course bodyguards were flashing light at us).. when he finished performing I went back, just watching him dancing and having great time, you could see that they were enjoying music… and then I had to go, because my friend couldn’t stay any longer, because she didn’t tell her parents and I couldn’t let her go by herself.. but let me tell u something.. this was the best night ever, I love Chris even more now.. seeing him live, giving me life with his vocals, standing in front of me… I will never forget that.. I can just say THANK YOU GOD for this experience and thanks to all ppl on twitter who were rooting for me to take pic with him.. Here are some pics for u guys of him performing in front of me :) I will get hq pics for u guys, from our web portals…
Much loveeee and sorry for this novel lmaoooo :D I’m sooo happy :)