sarah sharks


i’m scared! hold my hand, please? i’m scared. i’m scared… i’m scared!

The Signs as Quotes from My Capricorn Friend Sarah (@sharks-are-0k)
  • Aries: "I'm getting my house-building urges again. You know about those."
  • Taurus: "I am this close to screaming… at myself. For looking through the train porn tag."
  • Gemini: "Oh, Maaaary Lincoln. I know her."
  • Cancer: "Look, dude. Does it look like I have cash flowin' outta these pockets? I can't just buy your geode. I have to ask my mom."
  • Leo: "I'm changing my name to Eggs Benedict."
  • Virgo: "He's bad at… everything. Like, that he tries to do."
  • Libra: "Kill them. Don't do that. Call them."
  • Scorpio: "Take my titty… and fuck off."
  • Sagittarius: "Boo wasn't IN Monsters University, you FAKE FAN!"
  • Capricorn: "So you know what? You know what? [The Green Club] CRUSHED Mr. Quartana's favorite mushroom and I had had ENOUGH. So I staged a coup."
  • Aquarius: "If you put googly eyes on Mr. Potato Head, doesn't it like… fuck with his spirit mesh?"
  • Pisces: "Oh, he's one of those guys who has like four Facebook profile pictures throughout his entire lifetime. Maybe we'll see his evolution."