1. A Eurasian plant of the lily family, typically having long slender leaves and flowers borne on a spike.
2. (Literary) An immortal flower said to grow in the Elysian fields.
3. (Symbology) “My regrets follow you to the grave.”
Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen from Arrow (a bitchy comparison)
I recently made it through the first two seasons of Arrow and just wanted to get some shit off of my chest. Some spoilers below, but if you’re like me, you don’t really give a shit. Let’s go.
1. Tragic Backstory
Bruce Wayne: Both parents murdered tragically on a street, was left to cower in the blood, traumatized for life™
Oliver Queen: Mother was really shady, tried to kill his dad (?), Dad almost dies on cruise ship accident and then kills himself so his son lives (??) but he was also really shady and was lying the whole time?
2. Secret Identity
Bruce Wayne: Batfamily, two or three doctors/CIs, the JL and MAYBE a few other people know Bruce’s secret identity. He guards this pretty well, and wears a full cowl/mask most of the time. Pulls off the “Brucie Wayne” character so well, people don’t even question his stupidity.
Oliver Queen: Tells EVERYONE his secret identity ASAP, including people who don’t even need to know, and then fails ridiculously at covering up his extra-curricular activities that, by the end of season 2, the only person who doesn’t really know his identity is his sister (?) and somehow his mom magically knew too?
Also, for most of season 1 and 2 he wore only green face paint under the hood, which meant a lot of strategic turning/talking so they couldn’t see the blond stubble/clearly outlined facial features (wtf ollie?)
3. Skills they learned in the mountains/the island
Bruce Wayne: Trained with Ra’s, ninjas, like 60 different teachers, was gone for more than a decade, came back wise and tall and ready to exact vengeance on his city once he’d learned enough.
Oliver Queen: Got stranded on a desert island/prison, learned archery for a year (?) and some hand-to-hand combat from Slade Wilson, still, his only true skill is pissing off women, was only gone for 5 years?
4. Relationships with Law Enforcement
Bruce Wayne: Jim Gordon is his go-to man, drops off hints/clues, discusses cases on abandoned rooftops, slowly builds a camaraderie
Oliver Queen: Gets Detective Lance fired/demoted/arrested like 12 times, Lance hates his guts whether he’s Oliver or the Hood, really just yells cryptically at him through a voice modulator 80% of the time, 90% of the time is has something to do with Laurel, but he can’t put two and two together.
Bruce Wayne: Absolutely never, not even the Joker, it is his one cardinal rule™, not gonna happen, sorry
Oliver Queen: Killed a fuck-ton of people who were pretty bad, then had a moral crisis and stopped, then decided to start killing again, then had another moral crisis and stopped, then decided it could only be in really necessary situations (read: all) and just ends up doing a lot of pointless pontificating
Bruce Wayne: Adopts like 20 batkids, rolls his eyes but lets them do what they want, gets into arguments but tries his best™, even with Jason. Values them as a team player even when he’s being an asshole. Loves Alfred dearly.
Oliver Queen: Literally shot Roy Harper in the leg because he didn’t want him going to a crime scene alone (and then pulled the arrow out himself while Roy didn’t know his identity and pretended to be all concerned)
Yells at everyone when things go wrong (read: Felicity) but then apologizes later? always 100% wrong, but the second he makes puppy eyes and says “on the island…” all is forgiven
Bruce Wayne: Has a cave, might have real bats in it, lots of computers, a dinosaur (?), a penny, bunch of random scientific shit
Oliver Queen: A…table? lots of tables. Some computers (product placement) and a mannequin with his suit on it (always perfectly on the doll even when he just got back from patrol?) and six arrows (ONLY six) on the table, pointed upwards dramatically like he doesn’t remember his safety training (oh wait, he didn’t get any, thanks Shado)
8. Love interest/Lead Female characters
Bruce Wayne: Likes Selina, nothing serious, treats female characters fairly well. Has meaningless sex all the time, is too serious for a real relationship
Oliver Queen: Supposedly likes Dinah (Laurel) but also cheated on her with her sister (Sarah) and then flipped that, then flipped it again, endlessly flirts with Felicity (who is the real catch here, if we’re being honest), calls Laurel out on her faults but still toys with her affections (and Sarah). Has the BEST idea ever and decides to have sex with Huntress, only for that to MYSTERIOUSLY backfire on him. Chooses Sarah over Shado (who he actually loved? I think?) and is directly responsible for Shado’s death and Slade’s transformation into Deathstroke
1. They both love doing pull-ups/shirtless exercises
Okay, um, so there are about 15 fucking minutes that I have never seen, so this is part 2 of 3.
As with PT 1, I go into a few things that aren’t Coleneti, but are super important regardless.
And without further ado:
1:04 - KJ makes that Grinch face in CS’ direction. It’s unclear if he’s trying to get CS’ attention, throw him off and make him laugh or if he’s just really bored.
1:15 - CS looks KJ’s way, KJ does it one more time and then stops, suggesting that attention is what he was seeking
1:30 - Leanne mentions an episode that was coming up (EP 10) where it’s Jughead’s birthday. The SECOND KJ hears “Jughead” he instantly starts smiling
1:51 - LR says they were pretending to be drunk, CS says “yeah…pretending” and, in true KJ fashion, he just starts laughing like what CS said is the most hilarious thing he’s ever heard
2:00 - There are a lot of amazing moments throughout this panel, but this one has to be my all time favorite, and I just noticed it now. They are talking about episode 10 and Luke asks “who directed that one” and Leanne is super confused and Luke clarifies “I’m asking KJ, who directed that one?” Not asking RAS, not asking Sarah, Luke asks KJ. The fact that KJ knows not only who directed each episode, but frequently praises the director weeks or months later on specific things they did shows a level of professionalism I’m sure most crews can only dream of. The fact that Luke just expected KJ to know just warms my heart, and sure enough it took him less than a second to answer. Also, CS’ face says it all as Luke is specifying that he’s talking to KJ, you see CS break into a huge smile. He’s so proud of KJ for being that invested and knowledgable about the people working on each episode.
2:21 - The SECOND Leanne mentions “passionate shippers” KJ’s face contorts into what can only be described as a mix of confusion and disgust. Which CS, being CS, notices and comments with “and they hate each other. They all stay in different camps and wage war” And, funny voice aside, he’s very right, even at this point there was tension between BH shippers and everyone else.
3:32 - RAS says “and then KJ is basically working his way through all the girls” He of course means Archie, not KJ, but everyone thinks it’s the most hilarious thing, CS laughs the hardest. Well, everyone finds it funny but KJ who just shakes his head and raises his eyebrow. He’s not impressed.
4:36 - They start to bring up Beronica as an actual possible relationship and CS leans back and lets out a breath. He’s not happy. I’d just LOVE to hear his thoughts on the Beronica queer baiting, cause it looks like he’s has some.
4:50 - CS has pretty much had it with this conversation so he tries to distract himself by drinking some water. KJ notices CS is doing something weird almost immediately and leans back in his chair trying to make sure everything is okay. When he can’t tell, he leans back even more. Wouldn’t be surprised if he almost tipped the chair over backwards, but alas, the camera moves up to the screen at that point.
5:19 - LR is talking about Beronica and says “As far as it goes romantically…we don’t write the show” The SECOND she takes that pause KJ and CS instantly look at each other and then both look down dejected. Seems like they’ve had the Jarchie conversation with the writers one too many times.
5:39 - RAS says “never say never” about Beronica and CS has another one of those conversations with himself. I have no idea what he is saying but it seems like he’s trying to see if some pairing would happen. Leave your thoughts on who he’s talking about in the comments.
8:09 - One of the cast members, I think Marisol, says, into the mic “it’s such a bromance” I can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or not, but CS sure isn’t having it, cause the next words out of his mouth are “We gotta stop calling romance, bromance.” KJ laughs, but it’s not at what CS is saying, but rather the shit eating grin CS shoots him.
8:17 - everyone starts laughing and CS looks directly at the audience and says “stop it, I’m just being honest” He doesn’t say it loud enough for his mic to fully catch it, but it’s there. And then he clarifies again, “it’s just romance, guys.” KJ then mouths “that’s right.” For those of you who didn’t catch the memo of what a coming out is, THIS IS IT. THIS IS CS TRYING TO COME OUT. This is also, sadly, CS failing at coming out, and it’s not the first time. Biggest take away, LISTEN TO CS!
8:22 - Remember the conversation is still on romance, they never said they were joking or anything of the sort and KJ brings up a trip, and not just any trip, a trip to New Zealand, his home. That would be a meet the family trip. That’s a HUGE step in any relationship.
8:27 - As you may remember from last section, the night before, CS had tweeted from KJ’s account about marmite for a good 20 minutes. This is now an inside joke and as much as the rest of the cast would like to say they know what it means, you can tell from LR and Cami’s reactions, they are pretty in the dark.
8:40 - Now, by March 31, we have heard about KJ and CS having the most secrets around five times. And now CS decides to discuss one of them. The most punishing one. LR and Cami both look clueless as does KJ until CS starts purposefully embarrassing him. When KJ is blushing he has a huge tell. He lays his knuckles on his cheek trying to cover a portion of his mouth as well. He spends the next few minutes in this position.
9:00 - CS starts this weird rant about secrets destroying people and how that’s “the test of true friendship” as KJ says to Netflix later that day. KJ, LR and Cami kind of stop paying attention. The girls start whispering, likely guessing what the secret is and as KJ leans in to overhear them he starts laughing so hard he almost falls back in his chair. Leanne tries again to get the secret out of CS and he plays dumb.
9:18 - She now goes to KJ asking what secret he shared. KJ replies “no, it’s okay.” LR says “please, don’t ask.” And that would have been the end of it, but then CS speaks. “it’s erotic.” It takes KJ a second but he figures out what CS is talking about. His face instantly goes red and he starts shaking his head. CS is too smug and KJ is too embarrassed for there not to be some kink involved. If KJ was truly uncomfortable with this conversation he could have stopped it, but he chose to let CS keep going until Leanne realized this was probably going into R rated territory if she didn’t change the subject. Which she does, much to CS’ dismay.