another incomplete list of things that are cooler than sex:

  • sparkly capes
  • bismuth 
  • old people with their hair dyed funky colors
  • cat feets
  • horrible bus seat upholstery 
  • mini cannolis 
  • saquaro cacti
  • bobbit worms (horrifying but still cool)
  • the general concept of dragons
  • egg rolls
  • literally every aspect of the dark crystal
  • whale sharks
  • those little tiny animal sculptures made of glass