sappy bullshit post

How did I get so lucky? Rachel is by far the most amazing person I could have ever encountered in my life and she’s mine. I just don’t understand how someone like her could even want anything to do with me. I feel as though I deserve someone great considering all of the hell I have been through in relationships, but I don’t know if I really deserve someone as downright perfect and stunning as her. All insecurities aside, she’s all I can even begin to think about and July cannot come soon enough. I don’t think i will have ever been happier in my life once she is in my arms and directly in front of me. I’m not anywhere close to embarrassed by saying that I truly love her and who she is as a whole, yet I have never formally met her.

last night was really great. i got to hang out with my pals, i bought some new comics, and i saw/met one of my favorite bands. 

a lot of people know that february of this year was not a good time for me. i was struggling with what seemed like an insurmountable depression. after graduating, not being sure of where my life was going, almost losing a friend because of a really dumb decision, getting hurt (and largely ignored by a lot of my friends), my mom losing her job which forced me to take a job that i hate in order to support my family, i was drowning. but this band honestly got me through all of this. i would scream their lyrics and feel the darkness slink out of my lungs. their music let me wallow but then it pulled me back up when i needed it most. i can’t imagine what would have happened if i hadn’t found their music. they’ve helped me in that weird step that is loving myself. thank the universe/god/whatever bigger thing is out there for this group of guys and the music that they create. and thank you sororitynoise. thank you so much.