Without further ado, here’s the condensed “WTeff Meghan” timeline. *Outing the relationship to Camilla Tominey after like two weeks of “real” dating. *Outing the relationship to coincide with the release of her Reitman’s “capsule collection.” *Putting pics of Arthur Landon’s dog on her IG as “proof” of the relationship. *Setting up the Elle “how to be both” article, the Rwanda pics, and unfollowing all your fan accounts in preparation for the outing of the romance. *The endless wearing of the “love bracelet” all over her IG. *Spooning bananas pics (plus “breakfast of champions,” and the elephant teapot, and all that crazy crap). *Using Toronto reporters to start rumors that Harry was in Toronto in her apartment causing a papparazi frenzy where his RPOs have to sneak out of her house. This compromised Harry’s security. Also rumors of Toronto Soho House Halloween party attendance. *Lying about the press breaking into her home and calling bodyguards for her first pap walk (to a Markus Soho House lunch, no less). *Endless Soho House promo when the relationship leaked out, plus Misha Nonoo promo and St.Laurent handbags and coats and crap. *Suits sex scenes plus that NCIS “french maid” appearance. *The “breakup” with Cory right before (to be generous) banging Harry in June. *Rumors that she cheated on Cory with Harry. *The setting up of a “date” with Pier Morgan as soon as Harry started texting and coyly telling Piers about her “persistent” suitors. *Bitter divorce with Trevor. *Her family, oh my. Her whole entire family that simply won’t shut up. *Topless Snapchat pic goes around. Megs claims it’s photoshop. It obviously isn’t. *Hockey player rumors. Rumors that she cheated on Trevor. *Rory McIlroy “bearding” rumors. *Writing and releasing the KP statement based on pap break-ins that never happened, per the Globe and Mail. *Taking time off Suits (the only actual, bona fide work days she’s had since she burst onto the scene on October and she asks for time off) to deal with “lawyers.” *Taking over Remembrance Week, pap walking in front of the DM offices in Barbour and wellies and Harry’s cap. Stupid Alleviate Poverty bag. *More pap walks. Taking over the Caribbean Tour with her stupid IG antics including a dog in a Union Jack sweater and the stupid monogrammed necklace. Messing up a whole bunch of carefully laid diplomacy by announcing to BS Weekly she would take a “romantic vacation” right after the Tour with Harry resulting in an official honeymoon invite. *Pearl of the Caribbean personal enrichment rumors start. *Leaking Toronto detour. More lying to the press. More comingling of public and private funds. More compromising of Harry’s security. *Brother’s cross-dressing pics come out. *Leaked Pippa’s wedding date to BS Weekly. *ETA: leaked stupid “tree-picking” story to press. Story featured implausible details like tree that can’t be lifted with one hand and couldn’t even fit under NottCott ceiling. *London visit and “junkie beanie” pap pic that launches a thousand drug use rumors. Seriously, there were zero drug use rumors before then, and suddenly, BOOM, that’s how powerful that visual was. *Leaking her sushi date to the Daily Mail and putting it up on the Twit. Also all the vapid idiocy in that website. Namast'ay in bed, y'all. *Airport pap walk with expensive Mulberry handbag and claims of being taken to the airport by five RPOs. So, merch promo AND bonus comingling of public and private funds in this one. *Topless beach pics! Megs claims it’s not her. It obviously is. As an added bonus, these came out the day of the Queen’s Christmas lunch. Merry Christmas, Granny! *Endless yoga pap walks in Toronto selling stupid snow boots. Leaked Skippy’s wedding date. *Her family sells tacky white trash family pics. Seriously, girl, control the hillbillies. *Putting out rumors about a NYE proposal on US Weekly. Putting out Rwanda promo. *Leaking the Norway trip and the ludicrous Killer Polar Bear Girlfriend Challenge. *Brother gets arrested for holding a gun to a woman’s head. ARRESTED. *Leaking a meet with Kate and (of all things) Charlotte. DREAM DIARY. (WTF level goes up to 11). This was probably done to distract from the brother’s arrest which makes twice as stupid. *Brother claims “Harry defense” cause Harry got a second chance after Vegas so he deserves one too. Partying and domestic abuse are the same thing, aren’t they? Also begs for wedding invite. *Scrambling to put together some kind of India trip then taking over a poor girl’s project and claiming she “set the agenda” plus meeting with India politicians. Political posts on The Twit IG. *Parental bankruptcies (multiple ones!) come out. *Leaking “Harry Hates Trump” article to US Weekly smack in the middle of the Brit state visit brouhaha. *Soho House pap walk looking totally wasted. Drug use rumors resurge. Pap walk is used as shameless SohoHouse promo. *Walking with the Wounded US walk leak. *Endless talk about how she is now “living in Nott Cott” and redecorating. Articles are used as promo for Tig “lifestyle blogger” side business. *Putting out rumors about a “Spring engagement.” *Complaining to gossip columnist bff about how Kate isn’t chauffeuring her around the London shops. *Lied to GossipCop about gossip columnist bff blind and attributed it to a different blogger to whom she was not connected. *“Spring engagement” rumors turn into Suits new season promo as her show puts up her wedding dress scene everywhere. Show actually uses Harry’s name and the BRF as official promotion. *Another pap walk in Barbour and wellies, again in front of the DM offices, this time with the “H” ring which was flagged in the pap pics that she put out. Endless press over how “British” she is now and how she has now “chosen to promote” Brit brands and talk about how the “Meghan effect” manages to sell a handful of cheap rings. *Back on IG because girl just doesn’t learn. More vapid “motivational” crap. *More talk about how she’s living in “Nott Cott” and decorating. Leaks about meeting George and Charlotte in Amner Hall. *Pap walks in Toronto with Jess. “Relatable” articles about how she was poor she couldn’t fix her car (but money for boob jobs!). There’s such a thing as “private school poor” kids–I was one, but I don’t go about whining about it. You’re still in private school, girl. *Leaked an upcoming appearance at 2017 Toronto IG. *Putting out articles about how she’s taking a private plane to Jamaica A WEEK after the “like me because I was poor” article. Seriously, she was humblebragging about her broke actor days only a few days ago. *Bringing freaking Paparazzi Seal Team Six to the Inskip wedding. *Having Lainey hype “unseen” loved-up beach and balcony pics when the wedding pics weren’t flattering enough. *Putting out photoshopped “beach” pics. *90210 blow job scene comes out. *Her sister putting out a “tell-all” book. *Pimping out her friend Jill’s book in People Mag. *Closing down the Tig in a way calculated to spur engagement rumors. More Misha Nonoo promo. *Her niece coming out and accusing her mom (Meg’s sister) of child abuse (seriously!) because Megs didn’t like the tell all book. Niece says she loves Megs who is “everything [her mom] is not.” *Inviting herself to stranger’s (read “Pippa Middleton’s”) wedding. Putting out articles everywhere about how said stranger is “nasty” and “insecure” for not inviting her. *Recycling her two-day trip to India for the third time in three months for People’s “Most Beautiful” issue. *Advertising stranger’s wedding as marketing opportunity for her bff’s Canadian designer friends. Putting out press regarding same. *Complained about Reitman’s clearance sale promo after shamelessly using it in January to promote her “designer” chops and trying to get better collaborations. *Papping boyfriend as he sneaks into her house looking like he’s smack in the middle of a red light district. Photoshopping said pap pics for maximum marketability. *Hijacking Harry’s Heads Together/London Marathon press with her unbelievable “Megs Got Him to Open Up” press. *Shameless IG glasses promo with BFF’s client/contact. Jess promos Charlotte Olympia in her IG making it crystal clear who placed that “inspirational” #NoBadVibes IG promo back in February. *Niece’s Satanic/Nazi writings (I can’t believe I’m actually typing this). Denying all connection with said niece, after niece backed Megs against niece’s own mother. If we take her promo at face value, Meghan’s tally so far since Halloween is: 5-7 “workdays,” 2 exotic vacations, 2 months of Nott Cott freeloading, 2 days of “charity” work (recycled three times so far), 2 official event leaks (WwtW and IG), 2 unofficial event leaks (Skippy and Pippa’s wedding), overshadowing 5 major events (Remembrance, Caribbean tour, Xmas events, Sapphire Jubilee, London Marathon), four major political misteps (vacation rumor during tour, meeting with Indian politician, Trump leak, political posts on IG), 3 instances of possible misuse of public funds (Toronto Halloween trip, post-tour Toronto detour, and Nott Cott stay), 3 events where Harry’s personal security was compromised (I’m jut counting the egregious Halloween the tour detour and the Easter Toronto visit but you could also add the two wedding date leaks here), and numerous instances of private enrichment (Soho House, handbags, Suits promo, jewelry, Reitman’s). Mind you, this relationship was outed at the end of October. All of this has happened in five months. FIVE MONTHS. This has got to be a record. Now, this isn’t conspiracy. This is taking her press at face value. I’m not “connecting dots” or citing NYC or JerseyDeanne here, and the only “gossip column” I quote is Lainey, someone with whom Megs has a traceable relationship and Page Six with is also a publicist outlet. The pap walks I attribute to her were all taken by the same photographers in three different countries. Yes, she set them up. There have been numerous nudes of her circulating, but the only ones I’m mentioning here are the Snapchat and the beach pic which are the only ones that have not been photoshopped. I’m only using the more “reputable” tabloid sources and the ones that Megs personally gives stories to (like BS Weekly) and I’m not even mentioning stories that hit the minor outlets like the leaked SAS security briefing (which clearly didn’t take) and the pregnancy rumors. This is all her. This is Meg’s version of a royal romance. It’s a comedy of errors. This girl is a ticking time-bomb, just on the politics and misuse of funds alone. Add in the private enrichment and it simply boggles the mind. Meghan is like the Inspector Clouseau of royal girlfriends. If they really are together this is insanity. It’s not a romance, it’s a prefrontal lobotomy.
It started with that London accent, reminding me of home! And then those killer thighs, that attitude! I didn’t think I could love Garnet any more than I already did… then I watched Jailbreak and I think my love transcended human emotion. I could write a ten page essay on how great a character she is, I don’t want to spoil recent episodes but