santorum

South Dakota County Clerk Threatens To Marry Her Dog To Oppose Gay Marriage

South Dakota County Clerk Threatens To Marry Her Dog To Oppose Gay Marriage

Not willing to set herself on fire, a South Dakota county clerk has decided to oppose gay marriage in a less painful but equally nonsensical way: She will try to marry her dog. Once again proving that the only slippery slope exists in the fevered minds of the homophobe, the Sioux Falls resident apparently believes that if she were to marry her dog this would prove that gay marriage is wrong,…

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Rick Santorum Aborts Presidential Campaign from Ashley Judd

10 Things Rick Santorum Has Time to Do Now That He’s Quit

1. Sew the sleeves back on his sweaters.

2. Start a rebuttal campaign against Dan Savage to make “savage” mean “fierce, uncivilized, or rude.” Buy a dictionary. Declare himself successful.

3. Unclench a few muscles, maybe.

4. Finally send Rick Perry that ambiguously flirty email that’s been in his drafts since last June.

5. Pull a series of “Parent Trap”-style pranks to get Church and State back together.

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Pick any other Republican in the country. He is the worst Republican in the country to put up against Barack Obama… [he later clarified] On the issue of health care. That’s what I was talking about, and I was very clear about talking about that… I was talking about Obamacare, and he is the worst because he was the author of Romneycare.