please please watch season 5 of brooklyn nine nine (if you can watch it live do so it counts to viewing figures!!!) because it is so amazing and important and honestly if you watch it you will love it, it was so close to being cancelled last season and we can’t let that happen
Okay, that’s a lie. He can’t help himself. Any sign of a secret threatening to be exposed, he needs to get to the bottom of it. According to him, it’s a natural human instinct. Everyone else thinks it’s just a Jake Peralta instinct.
So when he glances down at the trash can next to the bathroom sink while brushing his teeth one night, a rectangular blue box takes over his eyesight.
And - you guessed it - he can’t help himself.
He reaches down and picks it up, his eyes scanning the small print over and over. Then the panic sets in and the assumptions roll through his mind. He has two options right now - freak out and ask Amy if they need to start baby-proofing their apartment, or calmly ask her what the hell is going on.
He decides to go with the latter.
“Hey, babe?” he calls out, walking back into the bedroom with the box clutched in his hand.
“Yeah?” Amy’s sitting up against the headboard, a concentrated frown hiding behind her reading glasses, and today’s copy of the New York Times sprawled across her lap (she likes to do the Sudoku puzzles at night. Jake doesn’t question it anymore).
“Is there anything you need to tell me?” Jake asks, holding the box up in plain sight.
Amy glances up at him, then at the box. Then back at him, then back at the box, then back to her newspaper. “Nope,” she replies, a small grin appearing as she scribbles a bunch of numbers down on the page.
“You sure? Because this little guy right here is telling me something different.”
Amy rolls her eyes, taking off her glasses. “Jake-”
“Ames, if you were a murderer, you’d be terrible at it. I mean come on, you can’t even hide this evidence properly! You’re literally asking me to arrest you.”
“Wait, are you a murderer? Oh my god, have you been pretending to be a detective this entire time? Captain Holt would be so disappointed in you.”
“Actually you know what? That’s pretty good, faking being a police officer to cover up your crimes, maybe you can get extra points for sneaky behavior-“
“JAKE!” Amy yells. He stops rambling, finally, and stares at her.
“Did you actually look inside the box?” Amy asks. “Or did you just jump to conclusions as always?”
Jake frowns, looking down at the box again. He moves over to the bed, sitting on the edge, then shakes the box lightly. It rattles, indicating that there is indeed something inside that he probably should have investigated before. He reaches with his other hand to open the box, but stops and throws it to Amy.
“I don’t wanna touch it,” he explains with a shudder.
Amy lets out an exasperated sigh - bed time is never boring - before grabbing the box and pulling out the small white stick and holding it up. “It’s negative,” she says, pointing at the single pink line, “see?”
Jake squints at the object, feeling his body instantly relax when he sees one line instead of two. “Okay,” he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Negative. Okay. Cool cool cool.”
Amy gives him a tight-lipped smile, slipping the test back into the box. “Don’t worry, no tiny humans will be running around this place any time soon,” she reassures him, throwing the box into the small rubbish basket underneath the nightstand.
Jake smiles back but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He slips under the bed covers with a sigh, sliding into the warmth with an odd feeling gnawing at his heart. He still has a million questions about this insane little object that almost just had the ability to change his life. And Amy’s no moron. She can sense when something’s wrong with him.
“Okay, what’s up with you?” she asks, shifting closer to him.
“Why did you take the test in the first place?” Jake blurts out, surprising himself because he was pretty sure he’d said that in his head and not out loud.
Amy takes a deep breath and shrugs. “I…was late,” she admits, a light shade of crimson heating her cheeks.
“But you’re on birth control.”
“Yeah but it’s not always 100% effective, I wanted to be sure. And I didn’t think it was necessarily worth hiding because it wasn’t positive. No biggie, right?”
“Right,” Jake replies. A wave of relief washes over him and he relaxes. “Right, right, right. So, no kids yet?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“No, not yet,” Amy replies, linking her arm with his.
“But…one day?” he asks hopefully.
If there’s ever been a moment that’s melted Amy’s heart, it’s this one. She grabs his hand, linking her fingers with his gently. “One day for sure,” she promises, kissing him softly on the cheek and resting her chin on his shoulder.
“So just to be completely sure, you’re definitely not pregnant?”
I just realised that once Magnus and Alec left the loft to find Izzy/Azazel that Raphael was still there and it just made me smile to think of Raphael just chilling in Magnus’ loft when Magnus is not around. He probably has some blood in Magnus’ fridge for moments when he comes around, probably just lies on the sofa, still in his suit because he is fancy af and google earth is always taking pictures. And he’ll probably moan at all the trash reality shows Magnus has recorded and yet still chooses to watch Ru Paul’s drag race and that’s how Magnus finds him when he gets home really late at night. Raphael doesn’t even acknowledge Magnus’ presence but points to the bag on the kitchen, which contains all the Chinese takeaway food he knows Magnus likes and Magnus takes it to mean an apology for just lying around on his sofa. And then they just sit on sofa watching Ru Paul’s drag race till 2 in the morning, cause trash tv is always good tv.
I feel like b99 just acknowledging the fact that rosa and jake are bisexual could make such a huge impact on people. Like I know it would definitely help me so much because n o o n e wants to say the word ‘bisexual’ on tv and it makes me feel so invisible almost like we barely exist??? But thats not the case?? I don’t know why tv show makes it into such a big deal and I feel like b99 could really change that. I’m not even looking for a coming out scene just let rosa talk about how hot she thinks this girl is or talk about jake’s exes and one of them happens to be a boy like?? It’s not a big deal??? Please just say the word bisexual on tv