santa slaves

Me: People need to lighten up with all the LazyTown headcanons. It’s just a show.

Also me: If Santa canonically exists in the LazyTown universe then his helper elves must surely exist. Is Sportacus okay with this? Is it one of those things he just pretends doesn’t happen because it’s better not to think about it? Is Santa just one of those people that Sportacus’ magic is weaker than and he can’t beat? Does Magnus expect us to ignore this? Did he really think that he could get away with making his main character an elf and then having said elf meet Santa, whose main source of physical labor is elves? Does Sportacus even know that Santa uses elves to make toys? When Santa appears, Sportacus knows who Santa is and talked to him like he knew him. Since it was the first (and only) time we saw Santa, we are left to assume that Sportacus has had a past experience with Santa. The kids were surprised that he was in town, but were still oddly nonchalant about fucking Santa Claus walking in unexpected. Has Santa met them before? If Santa has met them before and Santa, who would know that Sportacus is not necessarily a Christmas elf but an Icelandic Elf, has become friends with Sportacus, and uses elves to make his toys then Sportacus surely must know because Santa is using slave labor to make children’s toys and that’s something that he should know about as a Hero, and not just slave labor, elf slave labor. What would have happened if a helper elf had been on the sleigh with Santa? There are three possible conclusions to this: Sportacus chooses to ignore this because Santa has magic far more powerful than his, Sportacus genuinely doesn’t know about this, the lore for LazyTown’s Santa was changed just so Magnus wouldn’t have to face the difficult scenario that this episode would have him face theoretically. None of these are very satisfactory and I need actual answers and my answer is to conclude that Santa is actually Mr. Striker that used to own Sportacus and after Sportacus revolted against him, he used magic on Sportacus to make him forget him and all the atrocities that happened and Striker chose to isolate himself so Sportacus would never find him.

I wish they made a movie about Scott Tenorman’s revenge because-

I keep thinking about Scott T holding Kyle and Liane hostage and Cartman having to go up there to fight Tenorman’s ginger army in order to save those two. During the fight, Cartman almost loses until all of the citisens of south park appear (All the parents, the children, Big Gay Al, Mr. Slave, Jesus, Santa, Mr. Hankey, etc) and start to fight the ginger army. Randy would be extra and have some silly fight scene with one of the gingers. But anyway while everyone is fighting the gingers, Stan and Kenny meet up with Cartman and the three run to where Scott is so they can defeat him and save Kyle and Liane…..

anonymous asked:

SS again. My brain can't get over Barry with dogs. So Len is some kind of shape shifter who gets trapped or maybe it's a Frog Prince situation. But Barry adopts him and tells him everything about his day.

Len needs to be some beautiful mixed breed dog with Husky blue eyes, like a chocolate Husky (mixed with a chocolate lab). The longer fur, wolf like look, blue eyes, but a beautiful chocolate colored coat.

Maybe Len’s still a thief and stole from the wrong person, a magic user who cursed him to be man’s best friend until he learned what true friendship, companionship, and trust really means. It was never intended to also be a situation where he learned to fall in love. 

He refuses to go to his sister, doesn’t want her to get involved (which is part of the problem with him being unwilling to put trust in others, even if in this case it’s also to protect Lisa. 

Let’s say it’s the holidays, winter, freezing outside, and Len was on the side of the road, ready to die, when Barry pulled over and saved him. Brought him home, warmed him by the fire. Joe was working late that night so it was just the two of them. Once Len was warm, Barry even gave him a bath and let him sleep at the foot of his bed, which Len wasn’t going to refuse because he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so warm and comfortable. He figures he’ll allow this for now, maybe long enough for the weather to warm up outside, than slip away and leave this kid alone. But it’s not that simple. 

Barry names him Captain Cold since he was found out in the snow, and has a certain military precision about him in how he observes his surroundings and listens to Barry. He must have had an owner, because he’s so well trained, but no one seems to be looking for such a distinctive, beautiful dog. 

And Barry is so good to Len. Takes him for walks every day after work, and talks - so much. Never stops talking while they’re together, telling him about his day, his cases, even this amazing thief Barry loved to work on the cases of that seems to have disappeared. 

“He was the best. I mean worst, coz he stole so much, and always got away. But that’s just it, he always got away, Cold, never left any evidence, so I always knew when it was him. He was amazing. His signature was the lack of evidence, the precision. It was like a game trying to find something on him, anything to identify him and maybe some day catch this guy. I’m actually kind of bummed he hasn’t been around lately. I miss those cases, the challenge, you know? I hope nothing happened to him. Sure, he was a thief, but no one ever got hurt. He always made sure security was distracted or off duty, always got away clean. You only wish other criminals were like this guy.”

Len’s tail wags happily through it all, especially when Barry talk about that missing thief, not knowing it was Len. 

So what if one day Barry doesn’t come home. Joe comes home later to let Len out, and Len is so confused. Where is Barry? He whines and paces, until Joe explains, slow and calm, that Barry isn’t coming home. He was hurt. At work. Struck by lightning. Len heads for Joe’s car, whines to be brought to him. 

“You really are something else, aren’t you? No, Cold, you can’t see Barry in the hospital. Maybe a service dog could, but…well…I suppose I could pull some strings, make like you’re a therapy dog or something…”

Joe and Iris have always been so good to Len too, he licks Joe’s hand, pleads, and Joe eventually agrees. The hospital loves him, he’s so well behaved, no one ever complains. In fact, they think it’s adorable the way he lays in the bed with his master, head on his chest, watching Barry willing him to wake up. 

It would be when Wells comes to take Barry to S.T.A.R. Labs that things change, because Len can sense this man isn’t how he seems, he’s a lie, he’s bad, he means Barry harm, and he growls and won’t let him take Barry. But Joe insists, Wells can help Barry, and there’s nothing Len can do. 

But he tries anyway, sneaks out of the house, goes to S.T.A.R. Labs, watches Barry there, and protects him against Wells at risk to his own life, which is when Barry wakes up, sees Len growling at Wells, and as Len holds his ground, the spell breaks, and Len, human and naked and still defending Barry is left standing there. 


“I’m going to tear off your skin like wrapping paper and deck the halls with your guts!”

-Robot Santa, “Futurama"