santa dads

the secret santa au

suggested by @iggydabirdkid! at literally 11:59 PM but it’s still december 1st nonetheless. will you ever know what sombra’s gift is? probably not.

  • one of the truly beautiful traditions (started by tracer) of overwatch is the yearly secret santa
  • everyone from overwatch’s invited, and their significant others, which means that talon’s invited too.
  • it’s easier to get gifts for some than it is for others.
  • take winston
  • last year, lena bought him a monthly delivery of a ten-kg jar of peanut butter (lasting for a year) and no one had ever seen him look so happy
  • and then you have sombra and no one knows anything about her so congrats to that lovely person who has to get her a gift
  • they all sit around in a circle on december 1st and lena claps her hands like a little kid and widow pretends not to be endeared
  • s76 holds a santa hat in his lap, filled with slips of paper
  • one by one, each person (or robot) comes up and takes a paper
  • (HI GUESS WHO I PUT TOGETHER YEP IT’S THE SHIPS™ BET YOU’RE SURPRISED)
  • (and because i’m symbra TRASH this is mostly gonna follow their quest for gifts)
  • symmetra opens her slip and sees, in neatly printed, bright purple words, ‘SOMBRA’.
  • she kinda freaks out a little bc she expected to get bastion or something but then she just sits and thinks.
  • while satya’s thinking, sombra retrieves her slip, and sees symmetra’s name written on it in pastel blue
  • internally she’s like ‘YASSSSS BISHHH’ because she has a massive crush on satya but she keeps a poker face
  • she looks up to see satya studying her intently, and blinks.
  • ‘hey, princesita!’ she calls, and satya looks up, flushing, and she’s really cute and- wait. up. her eyes went up.
  • up. which means they were down before. which means they were looking at sombra’s lips. sombra files that away and makes a mental note to obsess over it later.
  • ‘what ya lookin’ at?’
  • satya blinks at her, then turns and walks away. sombra looks after her, confused.
  • ‘don’t mind her!’ lena calls, and then abruptly there is an orange mass flying at her. tracer comes to a stop just in front of her, but her momentum sends them both tumbling.
  • lena leans in close. ‘she’s a bit shy around people she likes.’
  • and then she blinks away, and sombra’s eyes go wide.
  • likes. satya likes her.
  • oh.
  • she spends the next twenty-four days at literally every store in the world (courtesy of hacking)
  • jewelry? would satya like jewelry? no. she can make her own out of hard light. sombra blows out a sigh and speeds past to the next store.
  • ‘sombra,’ gabe says over the com. ‘we’re on a mission.’
  • ‘and tokyo has some of the best gift stores in the world.’ sombra snaps. she got two hours of sleep last night and she’s really stressed. ‘your point?’
  • ‘that we’re still part of a team dedicated to killing people and you can’t just leave. sombra, just get her something and come back.’
  • sombra yanks her fingers through her hair frustratedly. ‘i can’t just get her something, gabriel, amélie, you don’t understand! i have to make a good impression and she’s beautiful and kind and i want her to trust me because when she smiles i feel like my insides have reoriented themselves and i just want her to like me, and so many people don’t that it’s not hard to think she won’t either, but i just really want her to smile at me and think i’m a good person and i need- joder, i just need a gift!’
  • ‘well, here we are,’ gabe says, and sombra turns to see amélie and gabriel, dressed in street clothes, widow with aviators perched stylishly atop her nose.
  • ‘first,’ widow says, rubbing her hands together, ‘you need an element.’
  • ‘a.. wha?’
  • ‘element. let’s see. what does satya like?’
  • ‘i don’t know- wait, actually, i do. neat things. pretty things. useful things?’
  • ‘so aesthetic, maybe a bit of practicality. let me guess. blue. good. gabriel?’
  • ‘you’ll need some sort of blue cloth, perhaps. and something to counter it- perhaps purple would work, considering your colour scheme. it has to be something from the heart.’
  • ‘why- i thought the mission-’
  • ‘the mission can fuck itself. we’re here for my little sister.’ 
  • ‘and my daughter,’ gabe adds, and sombra’s legitimately tearing up a little.
  • widow whips a cell phone out of her leather trench coat and dials a number, speaking in rapid-fire french. she looks up after a moment.
  • ‘paris fashion boutique. they can have premium blue silk in ten minutes.’
  • ‘make it two,’ gabe says grimly, and moves through the rack of japanese silk, picking out a light purple number and reaching for one of the daggers in widow’s boot. he slices through the cloth, cuts it into the shape of symmetra’s design spray.
  • widow hangs up. ‘got it.’ she tosses a really expensive package of blue silk at him, and he takes it, cutting it into a cool design and gluing the two together. a clerk runs toward them, staring at the scraps of cloth that are probably worth more than a few million dollars, and amélie tosses a cheque down before they disappear.
  • ‘think about it,’ gabe says as they hold onto the grappling hook (which is attached to a nearby plane). ‘what do you think symmetra would appreciate?’
  • ‘i don’t know.’
  • ‘well, what do you like?’
  • ‘hacking. and horchata caliente. and girls.’
  • ‘hey, amélie!’ gabe shouts. ‘is symmetra into girls?’
  • amélie blinks, shrugs. gabe sighs.
  • ‘we’ll think of something.’
  • they do.
  • the day rolls around, and sombra approaches symmetra nervously.
  • ‘hi,’ she says, hands behind her back, and satya looks at her and grins. sombra tingles.
  • ‘hello,’ she says. ‘did we get each other?’
  • ‘it seems so.’
  • ‘excellent! i’ll go first.’
  • symmetra reaches out, and sombra blanks, because satya’s touching her hand oh my god she may not live to see tomorrow oh my god oh my god fuCK HOLY FRICK WHAT DOES SHE DO DOES SHE- ARE HER HANDS SWEATY THIS IS BAD OH HECK HECKITY HECK
  • symmetra smiles. ‘and… done!’
  • sombra blinks, looks down, and flexes her fingers to see if they’re still in shock. to her surprise, her nails do something weird and suddenly she has fuckin claws like wolverine what the hell
  • they’re purple. sombra appreciates that.
  • ‘there.’ satya smiles adorably.
  • ‘HOLY SHIT I COULD KISS YOU I FUCKING LOVE WOLVERINE OH MY GOD CAN I KISS YOU-’
  • silence.
  • ‘um. i didn’t mean to-’
  • satya kisses her breathless.
  • she pulls back after a moment, fingers skating over sombra’s jaw, and for the first time in her full however many years of life, sombra’s rendered speechless.
  • ‘the gift-’ sombra stutters, and satya smiles at her, and her heart melts.
  • ‘we have time for the gift, later.’
  • she pulls her close.
  • ‘right now, i have you. and you’re the best present i could wish for.’

Christmas Prompts: Some I made up, some I took from the internet. Feel free to do the whole challenge, or just do some randomly.

1. Mistletoe kiss

2. Pretend boyfriend/girlfriend for family Christmas party

3. You made me a Christmas playlist but it’s just Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is you”. I can’t tell if you’re hitting on me or if it’s a joke

4. My car got stuck in snow you saved me

5. Last Christmas I gave you my heart and you asked me to marry you 

6. I got you for Secret Santa, but I thought it was suppose to be a gag gift, and now I wont fess up because I’m embarrassed

7. We’re both stuck at the airport for Christmas eve

8. Snowman competition, the judges are a bunch of five year old kids

9. I work at a toy store and you keep coming in but never buy anything

10. Your dad is Santa, he’s missing, and I’m helping you save Christmas

11. I’m a barista and you keep making weird faces when you drink the “Christmas cheer in a cup” coffee I make, why do you keep ordering it?

12. We’re neighbors and I just got locked out of my apartment, I was baking cookies that will burn if I don’t get in there quick

13. You made me an ugly Christmas sweater

14. I met you on Christmas but haven’t seen you since, until today on Christmas day, are you an angel? Wait, you actually are?

15. We’re stuck in different cities, so we wont be together for Christmas. We end up talking on the phone for hours, to the annoyance of our families

16. You’re robbing the bank on Christmas eve and I’m a hostage but you’re actually really nice

17. I was dressed up as an elf, because of my job. You’re drunk and think I actually know Santa

18. You hate Christmas because you’ve never had a good one. So I go all out to make this the best Christmas for you

19. I was cold, so you gave me your jacket but now you’re cold too. So I suggest we hug instead

20. I’ve never seen snow in person before, until now, what is this white stuff falling from the sky? Why are you laughing at me?

21. We got into an argument because of something stupid, but I slipped on ice on the stairs. I called you to help me, and our fight was forgotten when you got all worried

22. I was putting up Christmas lights, and I literally fell into your arms

23. There’s one Christmas cookie left, so I challenge you, winner takes the cookie

24. You keep playing Christmas music, and it’s driving me nuts, please play something else

25. Free prompt

found this pic on twitter and it’s more clear so now we can confirm the people in the pic are: juleka, rose, alya, nino, sabrina, chloe, marinette, tom, sabine, adrien, kim, alix (with some new hair), sabrina’s dad, alix’s dad, santa, alya’s sisters, natalie and gabriel. There’s also a blonde head above adrien i can’t quite identify but adrien and marinette are one in front of the other so my body is ready ok

Heads Up: Lots of mentions of child sexual abuse and pedophilia but it has a happy ending.

Anyone hear about the Mall Santa that beat the shit out of a pedophile? Like I can’t link it but this happened in Milwaukee and you can google it like ‘Milwaukee mall Santa beats pedophile’ but basically:
A little girl was taken to see Santa by her step dad and all she wanted for Christmas was for her step dad to stop molesting her. The 66 year old Santa then grabs the 38 year old chomo and head-butts him forehead-to-forehead before knocking him to the floor and pummeling him.
Best part #1: Four of his little-people elves start running over and kicking the pedo one witness said 'they got little legs but they was aiming for his head.’
Best part #2: Santa was yelling 'Hohoho, motherfucker!’ the whole time he was beating the fucker.
All of the men were arrested but the pedo is being charged for molesting his step daughter and is being considered a dangerous predator and child molester. Santa will not face charges as the chomo won’t press any. An official said she basically can’t condone what Santa did but understands.
Best part #3: Santa is being given a community award for his actions.

Merry Christmas! 🎅🏼