In the movie The Santa Clause, one becomes Santa by putting on the red coat after the death of the previous Santa. Even ignoring how morbid this premise is on its own, it’s possible that there’s another even darker level to the story. When Scott Calvin shows up at the North Pole as the new Santa, not only do the elves not appear surprised, they seem happy to see him and not at all upset about the Santa he replaced. And furthermore, at the very beginning of the movie, we see an elf standing with a crowd of children outside a toy store near Scott’s house. Why would she already be there if she didn’t have some sort of prior knowledge of what was going to occur? This leaves me no choice but to conclude that the elves not only hated the previous Santa but actually orchestrated his demise.
tl;dr: In The Santa Clause, the elves totally murdered the previous Santa.
The Ten Types of Supernatural Episode: an Illustrated Guide.
1. The Generic:
This is the kind of episode fandom veterans fondly refer to as “Old School Supernatural.” Features a 70s rock soundtrack, a classic (yet in hindsight, relatively nonthreatening) ghost or monster, comically bad special effects, and body horror. Probably from season one.
Examples: “Wendigo,” “Bloody Mary,” “Bugs.”
2. The Classic:
Not to be confused with the Generic, the Classic is the kind of episode that everybody remembers and everybody loves. It’s infinitely quotable, carefully toes the line between hilarious and absurd, and is still frequently blogged about even if it came out 7+ years ago. Almost definitely features Gabriel.
Once you see this episode, you will never be the same. Whether it introduces a beloved character, kills them, or raises them from the dead, the Life Changer is the episode that either sends you into a downward spiral of unhealthy obsession, or merely accelerates it.
Examples: “Lazarus Rising,” “Abandon All Hope,” “Lucifer Rising.”
4. The Black Comedy:
Though much of Supernatural revolves around a unique cocktail of horror and humor, the Black Comedy is almost impossible to miss. From famine-induced cannibalism, to a would-be antichrist, to a killer pagan Santa Clause, the humor of these episodes is darker than Batman’s worst nightmares and probably at least twice as depressing, yet manages to be oddly magical all the same.
Examples: “Yellow Fever,” “My Bloody Valentine,” “A Very Supernatural Christmas.”
5. The Crack Fic:
These are the episodes whose only real purpose is to make you wonder if Supernatural is some kind of elaborate fever dream. Neither advance the plot nor provide much further insight into its characters, but still entertaining in terms of pure absurdity.
Examples: “Man’s Best Friend with Benefits,” “It’s a Dog Dean Afternoon,” most of season seven.
6. The WELL-WRITTEN Crack Fic:
Despite having the same brand surreal absurdity of the Crack Fic, the WELL-WRITTEN Crack Fic not only serves to further character development, but will also tug at your heartstrings, make you laugh, and very likely make you cry.
Some shows break the fourth wall, but this one comes at it with a sledgehammer. From directly addressing the fandom and its terminology to the show itself, the Meta Fiction episode is usually surprisingly enjoyable and well-done, if you can get past the sheer mindfuck of it.
Examples: “Fanfiction,” “The French Mistake,” “Don’t Call me Shurley.”
8. The Tearjerker:
This one specializes in one thing and one thing only, and that is emotionally destroying you. May disguise itself as other kinds of episodes, like the Crack Fic and the Meta Fiction, before swiftly and efficiently moving in for the kill.
Examples: “the Rapture,” “After School Special,” “the Man Who Would be King.”
9. The Tragedy Porn:
Do you enjoy watching your favorite characters suffer and die horribly for no particular reason? No? Well in that case, you picked the wrong show, my friend. From the heart wrenching pain of Dean being forced to kick a newly-human Cas out of the bunker, to the soul-destroying injustices that were Kevin and Charlie, the Tragedy Porn is an episode that exists for no other reason than to make you want to crawl into a hole and die.
Examples: “I’m No Angel,” “Dark Dynasty,” “Rock and a Hard Place.”
10. The Grand Finale:
The Tearjerker, made ten times worse with the addition of “Carry on my Wayward Son” and a cliffhanger ending. Specializes in metaphorically ripping your heart out, making you sob like a pre-adolescent girl, and psyching you up for the next season, no matter how emotionally exhausted you may already be.
Examples: “No Rest For the Wicked,” “The Man Who Knew Too Much,” “Swan Song.”
🌹Light candles, plant seeds, share a roast ham with loved ones, bake banana bread, finish spring cleaning, lay tumbled stones in your garden bed, take deep breaths [inhale new energy & exhale old energies], wear spring colours whites & florals, collect wildflowers or buy flowers that call to you & research what they mean, walk through nature.
🎬Epic, Strange Magic, The Secret Garden, Spiderwick, A Bugs Life, Barbie Fairies.
Starters for/to muses who have never heard of, or experienced, Halloween (the anon request was for non-human muses, but I feel this can be attributed to several situations.)
“It’s just a costume, don’t worry. We don’t actually shape-shift into monsters on Halloween night.” “I’ve never heard of a holiday like this before.” “There’s candy? I guess it can’t be that bad then.” “I can’t believe you’ve never heard of Halloween before!” “What kind of childhood did you have if you never ate Halloween candy?” “Amazing. They shaped the peanut butter circle into a small pumpkin. How extraordinary.” “There are whole parties where everyone is dressed up like something else? How do you recognize anyone?” “Uh, no, there aren’t any human sacrifices. They got rid of that a few centuries ago, I think.” “You’ll love Halloween! It’s much better than Valentine’s Day, I promise.” “Why do you have to kill the pumpkins? You put a face on them and then they rot. Isn’t that a bit cruel?” “Is there any kind of brutal punishment if I don’t wear a costume?” “So what deities are they praying to when they dress up like zombie nurses?” “This is without a doubt the strangest holiday I have ever heard of.” “There’s not usually a significance to the costume, no. Just whatever you want to be!” “A whole holiday all about being scared and contacting the dead? Have you all gone mad?!” “I’ve heard of holidays like this, but never experienced it.” “It’s a good excuse to hang out in the cemetery and not look too suspicious.” “No, we don’t just wear costumes or watch scary movies. We also egg peoples’ houses and throw toilet paper on their yard. We’re classy like that.” “This is the only night you can contact the dead? Where I come from, we do that every day.” “I think I like this holiday so far.” “I’m not sure I like Halloween.” “Don’t worry, Halloween is overrated anyway.” “Costumes and candy are for babies. You and me? We’re going to raise the dead.” “No, we don’t burn witches on Halloween. That’s so seventeenth century.” “Black cats and pumpkins and stuff, it’s all just based on old superstitions and legends.” “Tell me about the history of this holiday.” “This isn’t one of those Santa Clause things, is it? I don’t want to know what kinds of presents he would bring.” “Ugh! All of these costumes are hideous. And people dress like this for fun?”
“Y/N! Just the little
ray of sunshine that I wanted to see” Lucifer called out in a low,
flirtatious tone as you entered the throne room, locking his eyes
onto you as a smile spread across his face. He lounged comfortably
with his elbow resting on one arm of the throne and his leg draped
over the other, a position which only he make look both lackadaisical
regarded, approaching him with a stack of papers in your hands.
Swinging his leg back
over the arm of the chair, he rested both feet on the floor and drank
in your figure, a thousand thoughts dancing quietly behind his eyes.
A quick flick of his fingers sent the papers you were holding sailing
to the other side of the room, scattering them to the ground with no
regard for their importance.
“Come here” he
propositioned, patting his leg as he beckoned you closer with a
gesture of his head.
Your eyes drew wide for
a moment as you pulled your lower lip between your teeth, trying to
vain to suppress the smile that threatened to bloom across your face.
Feet gliding towards him on their own accord, you approached the
throne as he held out his hands, finding yourself within his grasp
faster that you would have guessed.
He patted his thigh
again, eyes half-lidded as he slid his fingers around your forearm
and pulled you gently closer. You turned to sit yourself down on his
leg, feeling like one of those children nervous over a mall Santa
Clause. It wasn’t until he halted your turn, snatching your other arm
to keep you facing him that you realized what he wanted.
Not one to disappoint,
you brought your one knee up to rest beside his thigh, hoisting
yourself up to straddle him on his throne. You dragged your lower
half over his lap as you settled yourself atop him, sliding your
fingers up his chest to lace them behind his neck.
“You have a meeting in
twenty minutes, my lord” you purred at him, chest heaving from
excitement as you felt his length beginning to stiffen under you.
His expression darkened,
eyes flashing red as his fingers ghosted up your sides.