santa clauses

In the movie The Santa Clause, one becomes Santa by putting on the red coat after the death of the previous Santa. Even ignoring how morbid this premise is on its own, it’s possible that there’s another even darker level to the story. When Scott Calvin shows up at the North Pole as the new Santa, not only do the elves not appear surprised, they seem happy to see him and not at all upset about the Santa he replaced. And furthermore, at the very beginning of the movie, we see an elf standing with a crowd of children outside a toy store near Scott’s house. Why would she already be there if she didn’t have some sort of prior knowledge of what was going to occur? This leaves me no choice but to conclude that the elves not only hated the previous Santa but actually orchestrated his demise.

tl;dr: In The Santa Clause, the elves totally murdered the previous Santa.

4

#tea

The Ten Types of Supernatural Episode:  an Illustrated Guide.

1.  The Generic:

This is the kind of episode fandom veterans fondly refer to as “Old School Supernatural.”  Features a 70s rock soundtrack, a classic (yet in hindsight, relatively nonthreatening) ghost or monster, comically bad special effects, and body horror.  Probably from season one. 

Examples:  “Wendigo,” “Bloody Mary,” “Bugs.”    

2.  The Classic:

Not to be confused with the Generic, the Classic is the kind of episode that everybody remembers and everybody loves.  It’s infinitely quotable, carefully toes the line between hilarious and absurd, and is still frequently blogged about even if it came out 7+ years ago.  Almost definitely features Gabriel. 

Examples:  “Tall Tales,” “Mystery Spot,” “Changing Channels.”

3.  The Life Changer:

Once you see this episode, you will never be the same.  Whether it introduces a beloved character, kills them, or raises them from the dead, the Life Changer is the episode that either sends you into a downward spiral of unhealthy obsession, or merely accelerates it.

Examples:  “Lazarus Rising,” “Abandon All Hope,” “Lucifer Rising.”

4.  The Black Comedy:

Though much of Supernatural revolves around a unique cocktail of horror and humor, the Black Comedy is almost impossible to miss.  From famine-induced cannibalism, to a would-be antichrist, to a killer pagan Santa Clause, the humor of these episodes is darker than Batman’s worst nightmares and probably at least twice as depressing, yet manages to be oddly magical all the same.

Examples:  “Yellow Fever,” “My Bloody Valentine,” “A Very Supernatural Christmas.”

5.  The Crack Fic: 

These are the episodes whose only real purpose is to make you wonder if Supernatural is some kind of elaborate fever dream.  Neither advance the plot nor provide much further insight into its characters, but still entertaining in terms of pure absurdity. 

Examples:  “Man’s Best Friend with Benefits,” “It’s a Dog Dean Afternoon,” most of season seven.  

6.  The WELL-WRITTEN Crack Fic:

Despite having the same brand surreal absurdity of the Crack Fic, the WELL-WRITTEN Crack Fic not only serves to further character development, but will also tug at your heartstrings, make you laugh, and very likely make you cry. 

Examples:  “Monster Movie,” “Sam, Interrupted,” “Hunteri Heroici.”

7.  The Meta Fiction: 

Some shows break the fourth wall, but this one comes at it with a sledgehammer.  From directly addressing the fandom and its terminology to the show itself, the Meta Fiction episode is usually surprisingly enjoyable and well-done, if you can get past the sheer mindfuck of it.

Examples:  “Fanfiction,” “The French Mistake,” “Don’t Call me Shurley.” 

8.  The Tearjerker: 

This one specializes in one thing and one thing only, and that is emotionally destroying you.  May disguise itself as other kinds of episodes, like the Crack Fic and the Meta Fiction, before swiftly and efficiently moving in for the kill.

Examples:  “the Rapture,” “After School Special,” “the Man Who Would be King.”   

9.  The Tragedy Porn:

Do you enjoy watching your favorite characters suffer and die horribly for no particular reason?  No?  Well in that case, you picked the wrong show, my friend.  From the heart wrenching pain of Dean being forced to kick a newly-human Cas out of the bunker, to the soul-destroying injustices that were Kevin and Charlie, the Tragedy Porn is an episode that exists for no other reason than to make you want to crawl into a hole and die.

Examples:  “I’m No Angel,” “Dark Dynasty,” “Rock and a Hard Place.”

10.  The Grand Finale: 

The Tearjerker, made ten times worse with the addition of “Carry on my Wayward Son” and a cliffhanger ending.  Specializes in metaphorically ripping your heart out, making you sob like a pre-adolescent girl, and psyching you up for the next season, no matter how emotionally exhausted you may already be.

 Examples:  “No Rest For the Wicked,” “The Man Who Knew Too Much,” “Swan Song.”  

Quick Guide to Celebrating the Sabbats 🌻

LITHA

🧀Fruit & veg, herbed bread, cheese, honey cakes, chicken, pork, sunflower seeds, lemonade, ice tea.

🍋Lemon, orange, cinnamon, rose oils.

🔮Moonstone, tigers eye, amethyst, flourite, agate. {Or any crystals in warm colours}.

🌞See the sun rise & set, eat outdoors, make or buy a sun catcher, bake a sweet cake, let sunlight cleanse your rooms, clear cobwebs, wear a flower crown, make honey/sugar scrub, wear warm tones.

🎬Peter Pan, Fairy Tale, Ferngully, Stardust, Tinkerbell, Maleficent.


LAMMAS

🌽Multi grain bread, corn on the cob, bbq meats, fried chicken, potatoes, soup, rice, nuts, black current juice, beer, peppermint tea.

🌹Rose, chamomile, passion fruit, all spice oils/scents.

🔮Citrine, clear quartz, tigers eye.

📖Finish a project, make a bread to share, enjoy nature, take care of plants, decorate or craft, acknowledge what you are grateful for, journal future hopes.

🎬Parent Trap, Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, Cheaper by the Dozen.


MABON

🍇Pies, nuts, smoked or roast poultry [bbq chicken with smoky bbq sauce], soup, corn, apples, plums, grapes, cinnamon donuts, caramel popcorn, peanut butter, butterscotch.

🌲Sage, pine, cinnamon oils/scents.

🔮Amethyst, clear quartz, citrine, yellow agate.

🌾Make scented pinecones, spend time under the stars, donate food or goods [RSPCA], burn bad habits, visit the deceased, harvest take care of plants, bask in nature, meditate.

🎬Open Season, Brother Bear, Spirit, Pocahontas, Brave.


SAMHAIN

🎃Pumpkins, toffee apples, ginger bread, chai, nutmeg or cinnamon spiced foods, hazelnuts, sweets.

🌰Nutmeg, cinnamon scents.

🔮Obsidian, onyx, bloodstone, amber, fossils.

🕯Cook a family recipe, light a fire, remember & honour the deceased.

🎬Hocus Pocus, Addams Family, Monsters Inc, Little Vampire, Corpse Bride, Casper, Hansel Gretel Witch Hunters, Underworld, Van Helsing.


YULE

🍪Cookies, fruit cake, turkey, eggnog, ginger tea.

🕎Cedar, frankincense, myrrh oils.

🔮Bloodstone, citrine, clear quartz.

❄Give or volunteer, bake shortbread or sugar cookies, share a meal with loved ones.

🎬Santa Clause, Rise of the Guardians, 101 Dalmatians, Frozen, Snow White Winters War, Narnia.


IMBOLC

🍩Poppy seeds, pumpkin seeds, bread butter pudding, scones, muffins, garlic, onions.

☕Vanilla, cinnamon oil.

🔮Amethyst, bloodstone, onyx.

🕯Light white candles, plant seeds, bless your pets, declutter & clean your living space, bake orange and poppy seed muffins or cake.

🎬Mr Poppers Penguins, Happy Feet, Balto, Ice Age, Mirror Mirror.


OSTARA

🍌Roast ham & pineapple, eggs, milk, seeds & nuts, banana bread, chocolate milk, green vegetables.

🌹Jasmine, light florals, sweet garden, wild flowers.

🔮Amethyst, rose quartz, moonstone.

🌹Light candles, plant seeds, share a roast ham with loved ones, bake banana bread, finish spring cleaning, lay tumbled stones in your garden bed, take deep breaths [inhale new energy & exhale old energies], wear spring colours whites & florals, collect wildflowers or buy flowers that call to you & research what they mean, walk through nature.

🎬Epic, Strange Magic, The Secret Garden, Spiderwick, A Bugs Life, Barbie Fairies.


BELTANE

🍞Breads, cakes, honey, leafy greens, fruit & veg, seafood, iced tea, lemonade, milk.

🌼Florals, sweet garden, honeysuckle, jasmine, rose.

🔮Amber, citrine, moonstone, red jasper, rose quartz.

🌼Wear a flower crown or flowers in your hair, dress in red or white, make a bonfire & roast marshmallows, garden, take a walk, spend time in nature, pick fresh flowers to decorate.

🎬Moana, Arthur Trilogy, Avatar, Jungle Book, Tinkerbell, Barbie.


HOW I CELEBRATE ALL SABBATS OR ESBATS

☾Sage cleanse the house, light candles, diffuse oils.

☾Clean sheets/bedding/pillowcases/towels.

☾Eat at least one traditional food.

☾Watch a relevant movie.

☾Take notes in my BOS of how I celebrated the Sabbat to look back on next year.

☾Charge my crystals & tarot decks in the full moonlight.

☾Do a tarot reading relevant to the Sabbat.

☾Spend time outside with my dogs 🐶


🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙

Writer things

- were street lamps invented in ww2????

- how much does an arm cost tho

- Everyone is nodded. All the heads are nodding in this conversation

- wait no it was raining wasn’t it *looks back ten pages* yeah okay why did i do that

- It’s still night right?

- It’s been night for like 30 years at this point

- what’s that guy’s name again? I should know this these are my babies

- I have no idea how you guys are going to get out of this alive so figure it out kids

- *googles* how to travel across Europe during the middle ages

- effects of the bubonic plague???

- shoot, comas don’t work like I want them to. I need a convenient coma

- Everyone has the ability to quirk one eyebrow why is this

- how smart are rats

- I think they’ve sighed like 30 times now

- how do i describe what its like to run a mile I’ve never done that in my life

- Im sure its just like super hard

- No one cares about the weather stop

- i just wrote twenty pages in two hours why cant i do this in school

- everyone smirks too much but what else do i say its not a smile its too sad for that

- and now everyone is just ‘smiling sadly’.

- chuckled sounds like santa clause but laugh is too much but snickered is evil but giggled is too bubbly…

- what is the purpose of a rubber duck

- no, don’t make references this is a serious piece of literature

- “now if I reverse the polarity of the neutron flow”

- okay i need tea and music and oh wow look at that someone liked my tumblr post…

Dialogue Prompts

Originally posted by pray-for-the-sun

Dialogue Prompts

1.   “I’m sorry. It’s just everytime you open your mouth, you seem to get even more annoying. Does it take effort to do that?”

2.   “Where did you learn to fight like that?” “Have you ever been to a concert before?”

3.   “Remember that time when I asked for your option?” “No” “ Yeah neither do I”

4.   “Wereyou born this stupid, or were you just dropped on your head one to many times as a child?”

5.   “Please tell me he isn’t doing his victory dance behind me”

6.   “We’re Americans, we have a tendency of going overboard and starting a revolution”

7.   “Can’t we just hug this out?”

8.   “Do you love me?” “Depends on how much food you brought me”

9.   “If your laptop and I were trapped in a housefire and you only had enough time to save one, who would you save?……..Are you seriously having to think about this!?”

10.   “No one likes your jokes” “What are you talking about, the old lady at the store said I was funny!”

11.   “It’s a good plan!…..Okay it’s half of an okay plan…..So it’s actually like a hopeful idea”

12.   “Shouldn’t you be at work?” “Shouldn’t you be out telling little kids that Santa Clause isn’t real”

13.   “Why can’t the world just chill for one second”

14.   “Let’s say, hypthetically of course, that I needed help hiding a body-” “Hold up let me get a shovel”

15.   “Is he always this rude?” “Only when he watches Gossip Girls”

16.   “How can you look so attrative while crying?”

17.   “Wow we are screwed” “Really, what could possibly make you say that?”

18.   “Please don’t leave me. I love you”

19.   “I trusted you”

20.   “You’re just going to turn your back on everyone, again” “It was a defensive habit, I didn’t mean to.”

21.   “I almost died!” “Death by a hamster, I would pay to see that”

22.   “Newt Scamander, wouldn’t treat me like this!” “Well Newt is a fictional character” “How dare you!”

23.   “Did you even sleep last night?” “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”

24.   “Pretty sure none of this was suppose to happen”

25.   “Don’t you dare die on me….We’re suppose to grow old together”

26.   “You are my sunshine….my only sunshine…I never told you….How much I love you.”

27.   “I’m not strong or brave, but I will fight for you”

28.   “This can’t be real”

29.   “How did you two become friends?” “I punched him in the face and he gave me a highfive” 

30.   “This is not what I envisioned when you said: wanna play a game.”


                   I’ll be here waiting for requests

Originally posted by drunkbroadway

(please send your requests through the inbox)

Muse’s First Halloween sentence starters

Starters for/to muses who have never heard of, or experienced, Halloween (the anon request was for non-human muses, but I feel this can be attributed to several situations.)

“It’s just a costume, don’t worry. We don’t actually shape-shift into monsters on Halloween night.”
“I’ve never heard of a holiday like this before.”
“There’s candy? I guess it can’t be that bad then.”
“I can’t believe you’ve never heard of Halloween before!”
“What kind of childhood did you have if you never ate Halloween candy?”
“Amazing. They shaped the peanut butter circle into a small pumpkin. How extraordinary.” 
“There are whole parties where everyone is dressed up like something else? How do you recognize anyone?”
“Uh, no, there aren’t any human sacrifices. They got rid of that a few centuries ago, I think.”
“You’ll love Halloween! It’s much better than Valentine’s Day, I promise.”
“Why do you have to kill the pumpkins? You put a face on them and then they rot. Isn’t that a bit cruel?”
“Is there any kind of brutal punishment if I don’t wear a costume?”
“So what deities are they praying to when they dress up like zombie nurses?”
“This is without a doubt the strangest holiday I have ever heard of.”
“There’s not usually a significance to the costume, no. Just whatever you want to be!”
“A whole holiday all about being scared and contacting the dead? Have you all gone mad?!”
“I’ve heard of holidays like this, but never experienced it.”
“It’s a good excuse to hang out in the cemetery and not look too suspicious.”
“No, we don’t just wear costumes or watch scary movies. We also egg peoples’ houses and throw toilet paper on their yard. We’re classy like that.”
“This is the only night you can contact the dead? Where I come from, we do that every day.”
“I think I like this holiday so far.”
“I’m not sure I like Halloween.”
“Don’t worry, Halloween is overrated anyway.”
“Costumes and candy are for babies. You and me? We’re going to raise the dead.”
“No, we don’t burn witches on Halloween. That’s so seventeenth century.”
“Black cats and pumpkins and stuff, it’s all just based on old superstitions and legends.”
“Tell me about the history of this holiday.”
“This isn’t one of those Santa Clause things, is it? I don’t want to know what kinds of presents he would bring.”
“Ugh! All of these costumes are hideous. And people dress like this for fun?”

His Throne

(gif belongs to @heavnofhell)


His Throne

“Y/N! Just the little ray of sunshine that I wanted to see” Lucifer called out in a low, flirtatious tone as you entered the throne room, locking his eyes onto you as a smile spread across his face. He lounged comfortably with his elbow resting on one arm of the throne and his leg draped over the other, a position which only he make look both lackadaisical and threatening.

“Lucifer” you regarded, approaching him with a stack of papers in your hands.

Swinging his leg back over the arm of the chair, he rested both feet on the floor and drank in your figure, a thousand thoughts dancing quietly behind his eyes. A quick flick of his fingers sent the papers you were holding sailing to the other side of the room, scattering them to the ground with no regard for their importance.

“Come here” he propositioned, patting his leg as he beckoned you closer with a gesture of his head.

Your eyes drew wide for a moment as you pulled your lower lip between your teeth, trying to vain to suppress the smile that threatened to bloom across your face. Feet gliding towards him on their own accord, you approached the throne as he held out his hands, finding yourself within his grasp faster that you would have guessed.

He patted his thigh again, eyes half-lidded as he slid his fingers around your forearm and pulled you gently closer. You turned to sit yourself down on his leg, feeling like one of those children nervous over a mall Santa Clause. It wasn’t until he halted your turn, snatching your other arm to keep you facing him that you realized what he wanted.

Not one to disappoint, you brought your one knee up to rest beside his thigh, hoisting yourself up to straddle him on his throne. You dragged your lower half over his lap as you settled yourself atop him, sliding your fingers up his chest to lace them behind his neck.

“You have a meeting in twenty minutes, my lord” you purred at him, chest heaving from excitement as you felt his length beginning to stiffen under you.

His expression darkened, eyes flashing red as his fingers ghosted up your sides.

“Then I guess we better get started…”


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