Shame, Virginity, MRAs and the UC Santa Barbara Shooting
I have a lot of thoughts on the UCSB shooting right now. I’m going to write them up for the site for Monday, but there’s a lot I want to get down now while they’re still raw and fresh.
Friday night, Elliot Roger got behind the wheel of his BMW and proceeded to murder seven people and injured seven others. He did this because he was a virgin.
This isn’t speculation. In a blood-chilling video entitled “Elliot Roger’s Retribution”, the 22 year old delivered a long rant about being a virgin, about how since he hit puberty he has been afflicted with unfulfilled desires.
He wanted sex, but women refused to be attracted to him. He complained that it wasn’t “fair” that everybody else got to experience “sex, fun and pleasure” and he was left out.
And so he murdered seven people, and attempted to murder many more.
He claimed that he couldn’t understand why women didn’t find him attractive “the supreme gentleman” and “true alpha” while throwing themselves at the “obnoxious brutes”. And for this, they deserved to die. For, in his words, “the crime of living a better life than me”.
Because they “denied him” what he wanted. Because they “would have” - a critical phrase - snubbed him if he made a sexual advance.
From his Twitter: “Why are girls sexually attracted to obnoxious, brutish men instead of sophisticated gentlemen such as myself? #girls #perverted #sex #unfair,”
His YouTube channel is full of videos complaining about women. He was a regular participant on PUAHate, nominally an anti-PUA site but more often a site for complaining about being “incel” and the cruelty of women for not being attracted to him. He followed many MRA video bloggers
Right now there are a lot of people who are going out of their way to paint Roger as “sick”, “unhinged” or “mentally ill”. They want to make it a story about how he had a head full of bad wiring. They want it to be simple: he was a nut. He snapped.
And we shouldn’t let them. Not because we know or don’t know that he was suffering from any sort of mental illness. Maybe he was dealing with some sort of mental health issue. We don’t know. We may never know. But that is just a way of compartmentalizing him, separating him out from the rest of the male population. A systematic “Not All Men”, as it were.
Because whether any theoretical mental illness had anything to do with his rampage, it doesn't negate the fact that he grew up believing in a toxic form of masculinity. That he believed he was entitled to women’s affections and to women’s bodies - and that being “denied" what he thought was his due meant that the best thing he could do is go murder as many people as he could to punish them. Because that was exactly what he was doing: punishing people for the crime of not fucking him. Of forcing him to be a virgin, of making him less than a man.
Because that is exactly what the cultural narrative of masculinity says. A woman who is a virgin is a prize, holding her "special gift” for a “special person”. A male (not a man, a male) is a failure. He is a boy, not a man. He is a failure, because masculinity is rated in two axis’ - in our capacity for sex and our capacity for violence. These are the two ways that men establish our masculine credentials: by being a stud or being a bad-ass.
And - critically - men cannot show weakness. To show weakness or emotion makes you less of a man; it makes you a pussy. Not even a woman, just a part of a woman, something to be fucked by “real men”.
There’s no question that Roger was in deep, emotional pain. But our culture tells men that they keep that shit inside. You don’t let that out. You don’t let it show. You hide that shit. Because real men don’t hurt. Real men don’t cry and they sure as shit don't ask for help.
The MRA community that Rogers was attracted to talks about how they’re trying to “help” men. But that “help” consists of berating and insulting women and talking about how women “manipulate” men and how women are men’s “natural enemy”. They’re obsessed with being “alpha”, with being “real men”, not “manginas”. They’re all about asserting manhood by force, “showing” women and punishing them. Manhood by violence. Manhood by force.
Manhood by sex.
This is the world that Roger was drowning himself in.
Let’s just imagine a world where Roger could have gone to somebody - his father, a therapist, a priest, somebody and said “Help me. Please. I’m hurting. I’m scared. I need someone to help me right now” without fearing that this made him weak. Without believing that this made him less.
Without believing that the answer to feeling weak was to try to reassert himself through violence and pain.
Maybe seven people would still be alive right now. Maybe seven more wouldn’t be in the hospital.
In a press conference Saturday, the father of 20-year-old student who was killed in the University of California Santa Barbara shooting rampage blames “craven, irresponsible politicians and the NRA” for his son’s death.
Letting sad males fucking us is not an humanitarian mission.
We have every right to be grossed out and creeped out by you.
We have every right to say NO.
You are not entitled to our bodies, you are not entitled to sex, we shouldn’t be forced to have sex with you because you are whiny frustrated and dangerous babies, if you can’t control yourself you should be emasculated, END OF THE FUCKING STORY
lets talk about how white boys feel so fucking entitled to sex that one literally felt that murdering women was the appropriate retribution for him being a 22-year-old virgin let’s talk about how this isn’t the first time that this has happened, nor will it be the last let’s talk about how someone’s undoubtedly going to blame it on mental illness rather than the fact that boys literally feel that women should die if they rebuff a man’s advances let’s talk about the young girl who was murdered for rejecting a boy’s prom offer a young girl with her entire life ahead of her women continue to be fucking murdered because men feel so fucking entitled to their bodies and minds that MURDER is an acceptable response to fucking REJECTION when the fuck are we going to put a stop to this
[Text: Always remember that women who call themselves feminists will be accused so many times of being man-haters, but when a man kills women just for being women, he is called mentally unwell, and a madman rather than a woman-hater or misogynist.]
When a person holding public office feels comfortable spreading this level of revolting contempt, we fight back. When a man has been voted into power only to take advantage of that power to advocate violence against members of his own constituency, we fight back. When dangerous and powerful men perpetuate cycles of hatred that cause women to fear for their lives: WE. FIGHT. BACK.
Is a man’s sexuality superior to a woman’s existence as a human being? Do women owe men sex? Do women owe men anything at all? Do men have the right to force women into sexual acts? Do men have the right to force women into anything at all? Is a nice guy entitled to something sexual from women? Is the reason women are alive to prove sexual pleasure? If someone gets raped, is it their own fault for being raped? Should we keep excusing horrible behaviour from men because “boys will be boys”? Are men animals with no self control over their actions? Are women socially accountable for the way that men behave?
Stop making horrible events into vehicles for your bitching. 7 people died. 7 human beingswere murdered. Do you understand what that means. 7 people are no longer alive, due to a mentally ill young man. They aren’t making excuses. This person was an already diagnosed “high-functioning patient with Asperger syndrome and had trouble making friends.” (x)
This isn’t an act of violence against women. This was an act of violence against people. They haven’t even released the identities of the victims, but I HIGHLY doubt they were only women. It was a mass shooting. He wasn’t looking for one victim. It was an expression of anger.
This isn’t about whether he was white or not. It was about the number of people and his motive. If a person of color flies a fucking plane into a building and kills thousands of people with the intent to incite terror in the masses, then yes, they are labeled a terrorist, because that’s what terrorists do. Until that day, most people considered “terrorists” were white environmental activists who bombed cars and burned buildings. (x) If a single person kills another single person, it is called murder. There are always motives that are needed to persecute for degrees of murder. Mental health issues are a common motive, but not just for white men. There’s a reason for this though: THEY ARE FUCKING MENTALLY UNSTABLE. THEY MURDER PEOPLE AND THINK IT IS OKAY. THAT IS NOT ABLEISM, THAT IS FACT. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING POLITICAL VIEWS, YOUR OPINIONS ON OPPRESSION, OR RACISM. THIS IS ABOUT 7 PEOPLE WHO ARE NOW DEAD BECAUSE SOMEBODY SHOT THEM.
“Seeing James was always pleasant in its own way. He was my comrade in virginity, for he too didn’t get any attention from girls, and I’m sure he suffered from it, but not as much as I did. I was very perplexed as to why he didn’t feel any anger towards girls for denying him sex. He should be just as angry as I am. I supposed he didn’t have a very high sex drive, or he was just a generally weak person.”
“I was capable of killing them, and I wanted to. I wanted to kill them slowly, to strip the skins off their flesh. They deserve it. The males deserve it for taking the females away from me, and the females deserve it for choosing those males instead of me.”
“One time, as I was walking across the huge bridge that connected the two campuses, I passed by a girl I thought was pretty and said “Hi” as we neared each other.She kept on walking and didn’t even have the grace to respond to me. How dare she! That foul bitch.”
“On one of these nights, I crossed paths with a boy who was walking with two pretty girls. I got so envious that I cursed at them, and then I followed them for a few minutes. They just laughed at me, and one of the girls kissed the boy on the lips. I’m assuming she was his girlfriend. That was one of the worst experiences of torture from girls that I’ve had to endure, and it will be a scar in my memory forever, to remind me that girls think I’m unworthy compared to other boys.”
“(Girl’s name) should have been mine, and if can’t have her, no one should! I fantasized about capturing the two of them and stripping the skin off her boyfriend’s flesh while making her watch.”
“It was only when I first moved to Santa Barbara that I started considering the possibility of having to carry out a violent act of revenge, as the final solution to dealing with all of the injustices I’ve had to face at the hands of women and society. I came up with a name for this after I saw all of the good looking young couples walking around my college and in the town of Isla Vista. I named it the Day of Retribution.It would be a day in which I exact my ultimate retribution and revenge on all of the hedonistic scum who enjoyed lives of pleasure that they don’t deserve. If I can’t have it, I will destroy it. I will destroy all women because I can never have them. I will make them all suffer for rejecting me. I will arm myself with deadly weapons and wage a war against all women and the men they are attracted to. And I will slaughter them like the animals they are. If they won’t accept me among them, then they are my enemies. They showed me no mercy, and in turn I will show them no mercy. The prospect will be so sweet, and justice will ultimately be served. And of course, I would have to die in the act to avoid going to prison.”
“I titled one of the videos I uploaded “Why do girls hate me so much?” in which I ask the entire population of women the question I’ve wanted to ask them for so many years. Why do they hate me so much? Why have they never fancied me? Why do they give their love and sex to other men, but not me,even though I deserve them more? In the video, I show that I am the perfect, magnificent gentleman,worthy of having a beautiful girlfriend, making the world see how unreasonable it is that I’ve had to struggle all my life to get a girlfriend. It is my attempt to reason with the female gender, to ask them why they have mistreated me. I was hoping I would get some sort of answer from girls. In fact, a small part of me was even hoping that a girl would see the video and contact me to give me a chance to go on a date. That alone would have prevented the Day of Retribution, if one girl had just given me one chance.
As expected, I got absolutely no response from any girls. The only responses I got were from other men who called me names and made fun of me. Women don’t care about me at all. They won’t even deign to tell my why they’ve mistreated me. This just shows how evil and sadistic they are.Oh well, they will realize the gravity of their crimes when I slaughter them all on the Day of Retribution. How dare they reject a magnificent gentleman like me!”
“How dare those girls give their love and sex to those other men and not me, I constantly think when I see young couples.”
“The ultimate evil behind sexuality is the human female. They are the main instigators of sex. They control which men get it and which men don’t.
Women are flawed creatures, and my mistreatment attheir hands has made me realize this sad truth. There is something very twisted and wrong with the way their brains are wired. They think like beasts, and in truth, they are beasts. Women are incapable of having morals or thinking rationally. They are completely controlled by their depraved emotions and vile sexual impulses. Because of this, the men who do get to experience the pleasures of sex and the privilege of breeding are the men who women are sexually attracted to… the stupid, degenerate ,obnoxious men. I have observed this all my life. The most beautiful of women choose to mate with the most brutal of men, instead of magnificent gentlemen like myself.
Women should not have the right to choose who to mate and breed with. That decision should be made for them by rational men of intelligence. If women continue to have rights, they will only hinder the advancement of the human race by breeding with degenerate men and creating stupid, degenerate offspring. This will cause humanity to become even more depraved with each generation. Women have more power in human society than they deserve, all because of sex. There is no creature more evil and depraved than the human female.
Women are like a plague. They don’t deserve to have any rights. Their wickedness must be contained in order prevent future generations from falling to degeneracy. Women are vicious, evil, barbaric animals, and they need to be treated as such.”
“The first strike against women will be to quarantine all of them in concentration camps. At these camps, the vast majority of the female population will be deliberately starved to death. That would bean efficient and fitting way to kill them all off. I would take great pleasure and satisfaction incondemning every single woman on earth to starve to death. I would have an enormous tower built justfor myself, where I can oversee the entire concentration camp and gleefully watch them all die.
If I cant have them, no one will, I’d imagine thinking to myself as I oversee this. Women represent everything that is unfair with this world, and in order to make the world a fair place, they must all be eradicated.
A few women would be spared, however, for the sake of reproduction. These women would be kept and bred in secret labs. There, they will be artificially inseminated with sperm samples in order to produce offspring. Their depraved nature will slowly be bred out of them in time.”
“In such a pure world, the man’s mind can develop to greater heights than ever before. Future generations will live their lives free of having to worry about the barbarity of sex and women, which will enable them to expand their intelligence and advance the human race to a state of perfect civilization.”
this is the Isla Vista that should be portrayed in the media right now, not the articles upon articles about the murderer
4000+ students and community members came out tonight: I have never felt as connected to the community as I did at the vigil; all the hugs from all the strangers, all the tears as we cried together, all the hope, as we hoped together..hoped that we’d all be okay, that the victims families would be okay, that our community…everyone was there for each other and it was magical
but you know…all everyone’s gonna talk about is how this guy is a mentally ill rich kid blah blah blah blah
It’s alarming how in this supposedly “post-racial” society which has “no need for feminism” people are still so very willing to pin a misogynistic and racist killing spree on mentally ill people, who are more likely to be the victims of violence and abuse than the perpetrators.
“Ultimately, the #YesAllWomen rallying cry reached more than 1 million tweets in the days since the tragedy, outlasting even Kim Kardashian’s wedding on Sunday. But women are not the only ones frustrated by our society’s institutionalized misogyny. So many men, too, reported feeling disgusted by the attitudes of the shooter and his alleged peers, the ‘men’s rights activists’ that not only influenced Rodger, but publicly predicted more violence if men aren’t given what they want.
Men deserve their own space to talk back to these “activists.” Here is just a small part of that response, but you can find more responses or post your own on the hashtag #AllMenCan, because all men can have respect for women without ever becoming less of a man.” - Elizabeth Plank on Policy Mic.
“How could an inferior, ugly black boy be able to get a white girl and not me? I am beautiful, and I am half white myself. I am descended from British aristocracy. He is descended from slaves. I deserve it more.”
“Today I drove through the area near my college and saw some things that were extremely rage-inducing. I passed by this restaurant and I saw this black guy chilling with 4 hot white girls. He didn’t even look good. Then later on in the day I was shopping at Trader Joe’s and saw an Indian guy with 2 above average White Girls!!! What rage-inducing sights did you guys see today? Don’t you just hate seeing these things when you go out? It just makes you want to quit life.”
“Full Asian men are disgustingly ugly and white girls would never go for you. You’re just butthurt that you were born as an asian piece of shit, so you lash out by linking these fake pictures. You even admit that you wish you were half white. You’ll never be half-white and you’ll never fulfill your dream of marrying a white woman. I suggest you jump off a bridge.”