sanslash

Modern AU Bagginshield: Pokemon Go Addition

the lovely @meridorc​ and I came up with some headcanons last night so in no particular oder….

  • Bilbo is team Instinct
  • Thorin is team Mystic but for the longest time everyone, including Bilbo, assumes that he’s Valor until Thorin claims a nearby Gym and it goes from Valor to Mystic. 
  • Everyone assumes that Bilbo got introduced to the game (and to Pokemon in general) by his nephew, Frodo. In reality Bilbo is the biggest fucking Pokemon nerd. Has been for years, he knows everything there is to know. 
  • Thorin starts playing because his nephews become obsessed with it and wouldn’t stop pestering Thorin about it until he downloaded the game. 
  • Bilbo has repeatedly thrown his phone from server frustrations and every time suffers through immediate regret. 
  • Thorin has the worst luck imaginable with eggs and it drives him nuts. They usually hatch into pidgey’s and rattatas but he feels extra insulted when a weedle hatches like HOW DARE YOU?? 
  • Thorin is constantly buying more space because he’s a hoarder and won’t release his army of pidgeys, rattatas, and weedles.                                                   Bilbo: Thorin, just get rid of them!                                                                 Thorin: No, I need them, I need all of them.                                                 Bilbo:  Thorin…                                                                                            Thorin: They are my army! Weak but good! 
  • They often take family hiking trips nearby, taking Frodo and the boys with them. 
  • Kili almost broke a leg and an arm during an outing because he spotted an Ivysaur and fell down a steep hill trying to get it. 
  • Thorin has shitty aim with pokeballs, is always at zero, and so they always have to stop at every pokestop they encounter so he can stock up again. 
  • Bilbo loves all his pokemon dearly but he has no remorse in trading every Weedle, Pidgey, and Rattata he captures (the only reason he still catches them at this point is for the stardust)
  • Bilbo only changes the names of the pokemon he uses the most/just genuinely loves. They’re always something ironically gentle and sweet in comparison to the actual pokemon in question. Currently he has a Haunter named Violet, a Sanslash named Toast, a Jolteon named Marigold, and his favorite, a Scyther named Sweetpea. 
  • Thorin meanwhile gives his pokemon warrior nicknames. His favorite is a 300 CP Rattata named “War Hammer”. He also has a Weedle (his first one) named “Balrog’s Bane”. 
  • Bilbo has, on more than one occasion demanded that Thorin stop the car  so he can get out because THERES A MAGIKARP THORIN I ONLY NEED TWO MORE UNTIL I CAN EVOLVE SEA BISCUIT NO I DON’T CARE THAT WE’RE ALREADY LATE STOP THE CAR RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME!!
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Well slap my ass and call me shnookums. 
Looks like I’ll be continuing my water starter tradition.
I’m already seeing some pokemon I want to add to my team, such as Oranguru, Lurantis, Mimikyu, Tsareena, Alolan Sanslash, Alolan Marrowak, as well as the final evos of Wimpod and Salandit.

Also WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO ALOLAN PERSIAN? JESUS