I’m Not Even Gonna Think Of A Mysterious Title Simply Because Everyone Needs To Go And Read This.
Warning: You are gonna be lost to A LOT of references unless you’ve already read this (x), and this (x)! Dedicated to @gazebos-are-bullshit, who’s commentary on Eddie’s future ended up inspiring the first song.
- Do you remember
that time, when we were 15; you told me you loved me at the Arcade? - Eddie looked deep into Richie’s eyes as his
boyfriend held his hand, trying to get him into the rink. Eddie then took one
careful step in and complemented: - I had that accident, and everyone around
was too confused to help me; because you started singing “It’s been seven hours
and fifteen days, since you took your love away”, in a very bad impersonation
of Sinéad O'Connor? ’Cause I hurt myself and needed a couple minutes to get up
from under the table?? Remember that?
Richie and Eddie were at a Disco-themed College Party, three months after
moving out of Derry, using some stranger’s party to celebrate some personal peace
I have two very important things to tell y’all. The first is that I watched the first season of Broad City last weekend and it healed the TV-shaped hole in my heart left by the Parks and Rec finale.
The second is that there’s an episode where they go to a vegan sandwich shop, and ignoring the fact that they were making fun of it, it led me to create this sandwich out of the random stuff in my fridge.
It’s savory, it’s sweet, I’ve had it for lunch every day this week. The only thing you really have to do in advance is roast the sweet potato, but you could also microwave it to save time.
Two slices of your favorite bread (I used Ezekiel sprouted grain)
Guacamole or smashed avocado
Green apple, sliced
Slice the sweet potato into thick slices, about ½ inch, toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast at 400 until soft, about 30 minutes, flipping halfway through.
Alternatively you can slice them, and then microwave them for five minutes, or until soft.
Toast bread, spreading hummus on one slice and avocado on the other.
Why is it that a majority of vegans try to guilt others to get them to be like them?
I hate that so damn much. I’m trying to eat my chicken sandwich at college and some basic fool that I’ve never seen or spoken to glares at me and says, “Oh, you’re pretty brave for eating that poor chicken. I could never do that."
So, I just said, "You’re pretty brave for interrupting my lunch with your bullshit.” and walked away.
This is why “Find the Vegan” is around. It’s a joke. It’s funny how you could post anything or say anything, and some random asshole (who keeps giving all vegans/vegetarians a bad name) will come out of nowhere and act like a pretentious jerk. So you made a choice to not eat anything that comes from an animal, good for you. Do you want a cookie? I promise it’s vegan.
They get so pissed when people don’t respect their food choices, but they can’t respect others on their food choices.
Most definitely Oliver. He says he doesn’t have control issues, but Barry completely disagrees. Whether they’re out saving their cities together, playing board games at home, or in the bedroom Oliver definitely takes on a more dominant role. At the beginning of their relationship it caused occasional friction, but they’ve had healthy discussions and have a good understanding of each other.
Who’s the cuddler:
BARRY. Okay, both of them love cuddling really, but Barry is just a limpet, especially when he’s tired. Oliver always pretends to be annoyed, but secretly he loves how Barry’s long limbs all seem to turn to Jell-O, and he loves how Barry clings to him. Some times if it’s been a particularly rough night of saving the city, Barry will be exhausted enough to let Oliver carry him to bed, just clinging to him all the while.
Who’s the big spoon/little spoon:
Oliver. Where else would he put his bow? Actually it’s more of a split between the two. They love both positions, but neither of them are very good at asking to be the little spoon. Thankfully both of them are excellent at intuiting when the other needs it, such as after one of Oliver’s nightmares, or a low self-esteem day for Barry.
What’s their favorite non-sexual activity:
Pretty much anything they get to do together is wonderful, but there will always be something special about teaming up and fighting crime together. They don’t always see eye to eye, and their methods are always going to be different, but it’s how they met, and something they’re always going to admire in each other.
Who uses all the hot water:
Oliver. There have been far too many points in his life when he was cold to his very bones, and he hates it now. Ever since the mountaintop Oliver has hated the cold more than ever, and prefers scalding hot showers over anything. Of course, Barry, who runs at a hotter temperature, loves to tease Oliver about this, since the Green Arrow is the one sporting a sleeveless suit. (Oliver is totally cold and they both know it.)
Most trivial thing they fight over:
Most of their fights really. For Barry and Oliver bickering is an art form and a sign of affection. Also foreplay. Their big, serious fights tend to revolve around their nighttime occupations, however they have daily arguments over coffee, traffic, Barry’s tardiness, and Star Wars versus Star Trek. Their most consistent fight is about sports teams. Even though neither of them really care about basketball, whenever the Starling City Rockets and Central City Miners face off suddenly they’re avid fans.
Who does most of the cleaning:
Barry. He actually prefers an organized chaos to pristine cleanliness, but Oliver is something of a neat freak, and since it only takes Barry about three seconds and it makes his boyfriend happy, he never minds doing it.
What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue:
Given how much Barry adores Netflix you would think he would be in control of the queue, however it’s actually Oliver. He quickly found out that if he didn’t take control of it, he’d find his boyfriend yelling at crime shows that get the science wrong, and saving way too many documentaries full of scientific jargon Oliver doesn’t understand.
Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:
Though it’s Oliver who nags Barry to do it, the forensic scientist is the one that actually makes the phone call. Oliver hasn’t really ever dealt with “ordinary” problems like calling a landlord before, whereas Barry once went seven months without any heating in his apartment (Barry why? Why didn’t you tell me?! I didn’t even know you Oliver! I was in college, it was heat or ramen!)
Who leaves their stuff around:
Barry, and it can drive Oliver crazy, because he knows it would only take Barry a second to pick up after himself. But Barry has a habit of bringing his work home with him, and suddenly there are papers strewn around Barry as he lies on his stomach tapping a pen and trying to solve a case, and it’s just so endearing Oliver never finds it in him to complain.
Who remembers to buy the milk:
Oliver. He does most of their grocery shopping honestly, because ever since learning that Barry needs to consume a lot more calories, and isn’t always great at taking care of himself, Oliver has definitely taken to making sure that Barry is eating and drinking all he needs.
Who remembers anniversaries:
Both of them. They would never forget an anniversary, even if the world was ending. Hell, that was a definite possibility on at least two of their anniversaries. They don’t really celebrate smaller anniversaries like the first time they kissed, but they always remember the big ones and do something special.
Who cooks normally:
Neither of them really. Both of them are terrible cooks, though Oliver can at least follow a recipe with about 50% success rate. Barry on the other hand, is awful, and usually just sticks to sandwiches and college kid food. They tend to eat out a lot, however Iris and Felicity have teamed up to enroll them in a couples cooking class as their Christmas present.
How often do they fight:
They argue and bicker daily (hourly really) but their actual fights are far and few in between. Typically genuine fights are brought on by superhero stuff, such as when Barry is being reckless or when Oliver is trying to push people away.
What do they do when they’re away from each other:
They text each other pretty frequently. Barry is usually sending Oliver science puns, while Oliver is complaining about his day when Barry isn’t with him. If they’re separated for long periods of time there’s definitely a heavy amount of complaining on both their parts, and if they go too long without seeing each other, broodier and grumpier than normal!Oliver and kicked puppy!Barry come out of the closet. And since no one can handle either of them like that, everyone tries to make sure the idiot boyfriends see each other as often as possible.
Nicknames for each other:
There’s the obvious “Bear” and “Ollie”. Even though other people use those nicknames too, there’s still something private and intimate about them. Barry also started calling Oliver “Olls” which the vigilante never expected to like, but he pretty much likes everything that comes from Barry. Never in a million years could anyone else get away with calling him that though. Oliver tends to call Barry “sweetheart” which always makes Barry blush happily, and occasionally “baby”, but only ever in private.
Who is more likely to pay for dinner:
Oliver, but it annoys Barry, and so whenever he thinks the other man has paid too many times in a row, he cheats and uses his speed to pay before Oliver can.
Who steals the covers at night:
Oliver. But even better than the covers is his own personal space heater, Barry Allen.
What would they get each other for gifts:
Both of them enjoy gag gifts, and ironic clothing. Every Christmas they wind up with plenty of superhero merchandise, both appropriate and not. (Oliver scowls at everything Batman Barry receives. There’s only room in his boyfriend’s life for one ex-playboy billionaire thank you Mr. Wayne).
Who kissed who first:
Barry kissed Oliver after a heated exchange on a rooftop, and to this day, neither of them are really sure if it was an accident or not. One second Barry was zipping around, talking a million miles an hour and arguing with Oliver, the next second Barry was kissing him. However Barry was even more surprised than Oliver - so much so that he almost fell off the roof.
Who made the first move:
Oliver. Even though it was Barry who kissed Oliver first, the former placed the ball pretty firmly in Oliver’s court, not expecting anything to actually come of it. Oliver was definitely aware of his feelings for Barry at the time, but he was still struggling with the idea of not martyring his personal life for his job as the Green Arrow. After Felicity and Diggle helped him pull his head out of his ass, Oliver pulled himself together and sent Barry flowers, asking if they could speak over dinner.
Who remembers things:
Barry. It still astonishes Oliver just how much the other man observes and retains. Everyone knows that Barry is smart, but ever since meeting him, Oliver has begun to notice and appreciate how much Barry picks up, especially about other people, simply because of how much he cares.
Who started the relationship:
Both of them. Even though it was Barry who kissed Oliver first, and Oliver who asked Barry out to dinner, they discussed their feelings for each other like adults, and decided together how they wanted to proceed. Both of them knew going into this relationship that it needed to be healthy and have strong foundations, otherwise it wouldn’t survive the strain their lifestyle would put on it.
Who cusses more:
Oliver most definitely. Though Barry can swear like a sailor in the bedroom, it typically never leaves their room. However now that they’re preparing for Oliver to have visitation rights and possibly shared custody of his son, they’re both working on trying to keep Oliver as PG-13 as possible.
What would they do if the other one was hurt:
Unfortunately this has happened before, and it will happen again. It comes with the superhero territory. When it’s Oliver that’s hurt, Barry usually tries to finish whatever he’s doing - whether that’s working or saving the city - as soon as possible, and get to Oliver to take care of him, since he’s just about the only person who can make Oliver actually slow down and accept care. When Barry’s the one who’s hurt, Oliver immediately does whatever he has to in order to eliminate the threat. And if he happens to deliver the criminal to Iron Heights with an extra arrow or two in their body, who can really blame Oliver?
However they both blame themselves when the other gets hurt, even if there was nothing they could have done. Oliver tends to project his misplaced guilt outward by pushing people away, believing everyone, especially Barry, to be too good to be hurt by Oliver and his actions.
Barry on the other hand, internalizes his guilt. Though he never says anything about it to anyone, ever time Oliver or another team member is hurt, Barry takes it very deeply and personally, and stores it away in his mind as another failure on his part that contributes to his issues with self-worth.
Who is the dirty talker:
Both of them enjoy dirty talk, however Oliver is particularly good at it, whereas Barry can still stumble and stutter over whatever dirty thought he’s trying to get across. Of course, that usually just turns Oliver on more, so it tends to work out pretty well for Barry in the end.
A head canon:
While Oliver was digging up information on Barry when he first showed up in Starling City, he found the younger man’s blog. After Barry was struck by lightning, Oliver read every single post, and he still says that was when he first realized he was falling in love with Barry, seeing how genuinely good and pure Barry was, how dedicated he was to not necessarily proving the impossible, but just believing in it and finding it. When they eventually got together, Oliver brought up his blog, and Barry was mortified to realize his boyfriend had read it. However after an honest talk, Oliver admitted he missed Barry’s posts, as he hadn’t written anything since before the Singularity. Now Barry updates regularly on Thursdays, with Oliver reading over his shoulder.
For the sake of these prompts (which run in sets of fourteen) here are fourteen things a wizard must struggle through in his journey to become a high and respected wizard. As always, feel free to wiggle and shift to fit. Some fantasy by request of galadrielladyoflothlorien.
1. So you know how on the latest version of Windows if you move the mouse too quickly you end up on the start page? Yeah, well, I’m trying to learn telekinesis and I keep turning too abruptly and throwing half the room at the other half of the room. I am almost out of plates.
2. I’ve been practicing animating objects, and just wait, you’re going to think this is funny. Haha, my living room furniture has staged a revolt and locked me in the closet. Funny, right? Come save me.
3. Working on Potions, its super great, except now I am invisible and also a dragon. It would be great if I knew how I did it. Or how to undo it. You know anyone who needs an invisible dragon?
4. So, I tried to work a healing spell and now I look like I’m fourteen. This is very frustrating, I’ve been working on that beard for a long time.
5. I’ve finally mastered seeing the future, however only the future of this three foot square of land.
6. I’ve finally mastered travel between worlds. It’s the worst. I can’t remember which alternate dimension I left my potions notes in, and you know it’s going to be the one with the adventurers who are trying to get me to fight a dragon for them. Have you seen me? I live on weak coffee and biscuits!
7. I’m trying to find some wood to make my wand with and you’re the concerned owner of the woodworking shop. No I don’t need help and yes and do need to whisper sweet nothings to this block of oak.
8. After days of searching, swimming through deepest sea and climbing tallest mountain I think I’ve found my familiar. It’s this college student, I’ve been feeding them tuna fish sandwiches and coffee. Are college student usually familiars?
9. We were all warned about the incessant chatter of rats and squirrels, but I accidentally magicked myself up so that I can talk to stomach bacteria. They have lots of opinions on yoghurt.
10. My whole wizard thesis is based on translating this ancient tome discovered in darkest dungeon surrounded my monsters and mystery and I have just now cracked the code to discover it is the diary of some 13 year old who’s mostly wrote about some adventurer named Alicia the Mighty who was, apparently, so hot.
11. I’ve misspelled my spells and now my ferret is speaking in tongues.
12. I understand that charming an object is an important part of graduating from wizard school, what I don’t understand is why charming my exam to have all the right answers is such a big deal. It’s a good charm!
13. Apparently turning yourself into a goat is a great way to get out of awkward dates, if only I knew that years ago.
14. Good news I finally got the summoning circle to work, bad news, it only summons angry bees. My final test is tomorrow! I don’t have time to learn another summoning circle!
Will Solace wasn’t really sure what he was doing, in all honesty. When he started dating Nico, it was a lot easier to plan dates, but as their relationship progressed, he started to feel that movie nights and take-out weren’t going to cut it. Which is why he was currently glaring at the cloudy grey sky, picnic basket in hand, praying to all the gods he could think of that the weather would hold off. Just for a while.