san jose to boston

Hockey Phrase Definitions

  • Assist = I gotchu boo, have a goal
  • Blew a tire = ice much slippery
  • Boarding = wall for safe, not for face.
  • Breakaway = quick like a bunny
  • Chirping = much insult
  • Crashing the net = up close and personal, goalie edition
  • Delay of game = dumb
  • Dropping the gloves = gloves off, better for hugs
  • Empty net goal = participation award
  • Flow = to the fella over there with the hella good hair
  • Goaltender = marshmellow optimus prime
  • Holding = now is not the time for hug
  • Icing = belongs on cakes, not in sports
  • Jock strap = under the butt nut hut
  • Line brawl = much hugs
  • One timer = couldn’t do that again if I tried
  • Own goal = woo goal for the other team
  • Penalty box = pout place
  • Referee = not Denis Widemans friend 🐸🍵
  • Spearing = hockey players are not hot dogs
NHL regular season 2016-17

Arizona Coyotes & Buffalo Sabres

Boston Bruins

Chicago Blackhawks

Colorado Avalanche

Columbus Blue Jackets

Dallas Stars

Edmonton Oilers

Florida Panthers

Montreal Canadiens

Philadelphia Flyers

Pittsburgh Penguins

San Jose Sharks

Toronto Maple Leafs

Vancouver Canucks

Washington Capitals

Winnipeg Jets

When you have your main teams you support but you also love specific players in the other teams and because you love them you kinda love their team too, so you're stuck loving all the teams like the hoe that you are

playoff hockey? did you mean:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!??!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!

8

stanley cup playoffs + @ao3tagoftheday / @ao3tags

[1/?]

*takes off hockey jersey to reveal hockey shirsey*

Hockey Returns vol. 100.  Excited!

Types of Hockey Tumblrs

  • I love this one team and they are all my precious babies.
  • I love this team but fuck that one guy that got traded here, he’s the white crayon.
  • I love many teams and I don’t even care if they’re rivals.
  • I like a bunch of players from all the teams.
  • I like a single player from a bunch of teams.
  • I like goalie but honestly, fuck the team.
  • I like this player but he got traded to a team I hate so now I love/hate him.
  • I hate all the teams but like one player. He’s the pink starburst.
  • Chicago Blackhawks only.
  • I love this team but the coach needs to be fired.
  • I don’t really like hockey but these dudes are hot.
  • I know nothing about hockey but there’s some really funny posts.

I’ve seen these kind of posts go around but I haven’t seen a hockey one so why not?

happy crab goalie or super extra celly; old reebok sweaters or new adidas sweaters; home opener or first playoff game; hat trick or a Gordie Howe hat trick; regulation shutout or shootout win; rookies or veterans; fun official content or off season antics

yo if y’all post anything about the lightning, penguins, sharks, leafs, bruins or basically any other nhl team because i’m open to (almost) all teams like or reblog this post so i can check you out because i still need more hockey blogs to follow !!!

They’re calling it H-day. The H might stand for ‘hockey’ or ‘hell,’ you don’t really remember. You only remember the day you turned on your local sports network to hear that every player in the NHL has been transformed based on the names of their teams. The ramifications of this range from merely nominal to, frankly, off the walls ridiculous.

Montreal and Vancouver, out of all the NHL cities, have seen the least effects. Their team names mean ‘Canadians, except in French’ and ‘Canadians, except in slang,’ respectively, so aside from a few sudden citizenship acquisitions, their players have experienced no changes. Likewise, the Islanders are essentially the same. Some extent of memory alteration is speculated, but that’s all Deadspin anyway, so who really knows?

The other New York team, on the other hand, has developed a strange predilection for reckless behaviour in the name of ‘adventure.’ They’ve also taken to rolling twenty sided dice before taking action, which tends to really slow down a hockey game.

Los Angeles and Las Vegas have come to an unlikely alliance. The LA team had devolved into power struggles and succession crises, so Vegas offered proxy fighters to joust on each LA player’s behalf. However, with many Kings and only one Knight, the teams have been forced to wait until the expansion draft to actually settle the disputes. Until then, the main concern is keeping the Kings away from the armoury that has sprung up in Buffalo, as most hockey fans agree that beheadings would be taking hockey fights too far.

When the Detroit players sprouted wings — literal red wings — many expected the same from Philadelphia. However, the Flyers have become a different type of flyer, and their management is currently scrambling to find all their players, floating around the city on the wind (Toronto, too, is having similar issues; they simply didn’t have enough rakes in the equipment room when the whole debacle began). Of particular importance is one flyer advertising grilled cheese sandwiches, which must never, under any circumstances, be allowed to find its way to Pittsburgh. It might cross the path of a passing flightless bird, who could mistake it for food, or worse, recognize it as who it actually is.

Speaking of Pittsburgh, they, along with Anaheim, are reaping the benefits of being one of the few animal-named teams whose mascot is relatively docile and non-threatening. Arizona, Florida, Boston, San Jose, and Nashville have all had to call in experts in the zoology business to deal with the sudden influx of apex predators.

Speaking of predators, Chicago is gone. Just gone. They had the misfortune to have a home stretch lined up where they played Carolina, Colorado, and Tampa in succession, and now they’re gone. Instead, the city has been replaced by a replica of Washington DC that inexplicably speaks Russian instead of English, but is otherwise indistinguishable. Twenty other versions of Washington have cropped up over the country, most of which are Russian-speaking.

The St. Louis music scene and the Columbus fashion industry have each had a sudden boom, revitalized by new trends. They don’t have much to do with each other, but the two cities agree: blue sure is a cool colour.

The province of Alberta, on other hand, is not in such agreement. For their own safety, Edmonton and Calgary are attempting to keep as separate as possible for the time being. What is left of their players cannot be allowed to interact, lest they ignite the entire country.

New Jersey is also having some problems. Then again, when are they not?

The Minnesota practice rink is no longer fit for use; it has become, essentially, a very cold forest. It now attracts hockey fans and tourists, many of whom claim to be able to hear the voices of the players among the trees. Others merely say it seems like a nice way to get back to nature.

But when it comes to getting back to nature, Dallas has us all beat. They have returned to a state of matter pre-dating our own planet and ascended into the night sky. Attempts are being made to bring them back to Earth, as it is not possible to play hockey games against them if they are in outer space — only Winnipeg might have even a chance. Unfortunately, the mission to bring the Stars back has hit a snag lately; Jamie Benn just won’t go down.

REASONS TO DATE A HOCKEY PLAYER

1. Always looking to score
2. Always wanting to get in deep
3. Always needing to go a full 60 minutes
4. Always giving 110%
5. Always gotta work harder every shift
6. Always gotta do better
7. Always looking to practice more

Plus you know, thighs and shit.