san francisco is my home

my story

I have a pretty basic story, but here it is. I was born Feb. 6, 2004 in Clovis, CA. I was originally going to be named Hailey Denay, but my parents left it at Denay. I grew up around a beautiful family and amazing friends. I was bullied from 2-4 grade then moved schools in 5th, where I was bullied a little less in 6th grade. 7th grade is when my confidence really dropped. It felt like no one wanted me. My dad was working hard to keep my family happy and healthy while my momma stayed at home and took care of my sister, Chloe. My other sister, Ady, and I went to school and she was doing fine but I was falling apart slowly. I didn’t know it, but I was falling towards negative influences. I started cursing. A lot. I started thinking horrible thoughts about suicide and violence. I felt like I would have ended up better dead. I wanted to die. 

It was the last week of school and my mom headed to Europe with my aunt. It was bad enough that I had to stay at my grandma’s house for the first two weeks of summer break, not being able to spend time with my ‘friends’, but it gradually got worse. The only thing I had was my phone to keep me company. 

All day, every day, I would sit on my phone, not paying attention to anything else. I could have cared less about what was going on. I had Musically and decided to spend my time on there, but I started receiving negative from the people I thought were my friends. At first, I took it as a joke, then I realized they were actually teasing me. It got to the point where I was called ‘pig’, ‘ship’, and other horrible things. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about the situation, so I kept it to myself, crying myself to sleep almost every night. I fell into depression. 

One day, I was going through my phone and I went on YouTube, just for fun. I started watching Logan Paul Vlogs and saw that they were actually really funny and entertaining. As I searched deeper into his channel, I found a band he had collaborated with very recently. I had remembered them from Musically a few days earlier in one with Kristen Hancher and Logan. I started listening to their music and found it really nice. The words were soothing and helped ease my pain. The more I listened, the more I loved them. I found that there was one band member with beautiful bright blue eyes and an adorable tooth gap that I really liked. I also thought that the boy with his hair straight up and a cute smile was also fascinating. The one with the curly hair and earrings made me blush many times. I also found that the other two were extremely cute and seemed nice. I learned all their names in time and fell in love with their personalities.

The lyrics of the beautiful music would play in my head. Something told me that I needed to get rid of the people who I had been texting. So I did. I deleted Musically, the contacts of the people and I removed myself from their vicinity. 

I started listening to the music every day, non-stop. Their voices were the only thing that helped me through the horrible time. After a few days of listening to them, I realized I wanted to see the people who helped me become a happier person. I went on their website and saw that they were on tour, the Something Different tour. I looked for the ticket prices and saw that they weren’t bad at all! $20 a ticket seemed amazing! 

I texted my mom through WhatsApp and told her about the boys. She seemed to like them and agreed to take me to the concert in San Francisco, about 4 hours away from my home. I became super excited and told the only person I knew would even attempt to listen to me. She said that she had seen them before and she liked them! I started to talk to her more about them and we both fell quickly in love. They had made me a happier person, and I was forever grateful.

After my mom came back, I decided to take the love I had for the band and share it with everyone I knew. I felt happier and healthier than ever before. I felt confident. I hadn’t ever felt that fantastic. 

August rolled around and my best friend, Emely, and I were on our way to a concert in San Francisco. The entire day was full of giddiness and excitement. It was at around 2 o’clock when we reached the venue of the concert, ready to go, and there had already been a line started. My cousins, Emely and I ran out of the van while our moms found parking. We stood in line for 6 hours, waiting for the show to start. Even though we were waiting longer than the concert went on, it was absolutely amazing. I had never been happier. 

This is cliche, but Why Don’t We saved my heart from going down the wrong path in time, and I don’t know how to thank them for that. 

Now I am a crazy, positive 8th grader, turning 14 in February. I play the alto and bari saxophone in band and I love all music, especially my boys. I have a doggo named Lola and three chickens who hate my guts. 

I really don’t know what I would have done, or where I would be without the boys. Some people call them a dumb boy band, but I call them my lifesavers

|| Thank you for 100 followers! You guys are absolutely insane (in a good way!) and I love you guys too much ausdhiaud !!!!! I’m actually shook. Just… thank you! Anyways, Emely has Tumblr- @seaveyavery - GO FOLLOW HER!! Ok, y’all, das it. I’m shooketh to the max rn. Oof. Jeepers nuts. I can’t. ||

tagged by @allysdelta and I am actually at my computer for once so sure :D

5 THINGS MEME

5 Things You’ll Find in My Bag or Pocket

  • pencils/pens/art stuff
  • sketchbook
  • phone
  • orange and yellow Starbursts
  • keys

5 Things You’ll Find in My Room

  • lots of Ardyn lol
  • a blue violin that’s only good for decoration
  • various action figures
  • ring-tailed lemur dolls (they’ve my favorite animal and I never leave a zoo trip without a new one)
  • some plastic drawers full of random arts and crafts material, old sketchbooks, and scented wax

5 Things I’ve Always Wanted to Do

  • learn a second language (I started teaching myself German as a teenager and was getting decent at it… shouldn’t have stopped)
  • sell art at a convention
  • visit San Francisco
  • work from home (but beh need my insurance)
  • meet Darin De Paul and tell him I was serious about giving him $5 to sing “I BLESS THE RAINS IN INSOMNIA” in Ardyn’s voice

5 Things That Make Me Happy

  • Ardyn (just getting that one said and done with lol)
  • my friends
  • my cats
  • COFFEE
  • watching YouTube videos of really inspiring/emotional performances on shows like America’s/Britian’s Got Talent, the X Factor, American Idol, etc (or watching the really cringey auditions lol)

5 Things I’m Currently Into

  • drawing
  • slowly getting into writing fanfic again
  • FFXV
  • Ducktales
  • discovering new recipehs

5 Things On My To Do List

  • write that drabble for @mlledefer (I haven’t forgotten it’s just hard because I DID have it written once and then my computer was like “hey you know what’s neat? Shutting down for no reason lmao”)
  • finishing Val’s commission
  • getting good at time management
  • you see my problem here now? XD
  • If I could practice setting my tasks and doing them promptly this to do list thing wouldn’t be so confusing because there’s probably more on this list that I am forgetting

5 People I’m Tagging

@poisonous-panda and uh…. um… there’s actually… a lot of people I can tag but then I become afraid I’m missing someone :< so yeah I’m just gonna tag panda and cower away XD