of coarse I could replace your face with someone new, but they won’t have the same dreams. they wont have the same structure in their lips that know just how to press up against my skin. it’s so fucking late and I want to replace you, but the thought of replacement isn’t sounding too right. maybe it’s the pills, but I think I miss you more than I should. maybe it’s how many I took that’s making me think I shouldn’t have taken so many…..
lady bugs in jars (rough cut)
  • lady bugs in jars (rough cut)
  • hann cassady
  • silent moods

hey guys, plan on a new record from me by the end of the summer. these are some of my most proud works and i’m excited to share the finished versions of them. for now here’s a rough demo of a song i wrote inspired by summer nights on my porch. 

lyrics: the night sky reflecting in your eyes, waking up to the same dream every night. drinking wine with jenny makes me miss you, i get lightheaded in the same way when i see you
you keep dead things in jars, preserving wings you’ve torn apart, you hold half of my heart in yours
you don’t like the way i treat myself, like i am a sketch to be drawn out, you permeate with colors to bring the best out
you keep parts of me in your room, fleshing me out to fit your mood. you hold half of me in you

Dark Paradise (A Cami One-Shot)

*****So since it’s Cami week I wanted to put this out there. Its a one shot taking place between season 1 and season 2, showing Cami dealing with the events of the season 1 finale. Be warned it’s long********


“Camille, I appreciate you being here, but we cannot be friends…you had me pegged from the start. A man damaged by his demons and those demons are not dormant they are hell-bent on killing me, and everything I find beautiful. And you, you are beautiful. Please, please just go.”



I opened my eyes, slowly blinking. It was the same dream I’d had for weeks. I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest.

That’s right, it wasn’t a dream. It was real, Klaus told me to leave after breaking off our friendship.

It had almost been a month but I still couldn’t believe it. Ever since I met Klaus my world was turned upside down. The original immortal hybrid educated me on the supernatural community and its presence in my hometown, New Orleans. Originally he used me to spy on Marcel so he could take the Quarter from him but since then we formed a connection, considering each other friends. It was a rocky start at first, I was mad (and still am) about him using mind compulsion on me, taking away my spare time, my memories, oh and my overall free will.

Yet despite the bumpy start Klaus was there for me. He tried to help me with my late Uncle Kieran and came to my rescue when the hex came back and he nearly killed me (long story). And what had I done to repay him? Stand by as his daughter was killed.

It was my fault. I hesitated in embracing my family’s legacy in the human faction, who looked over the humans New Orleans, defending them from the supernatural creatures. I waited and wallowed, allowing Francesca Guerrera and her werewolves to take over the Quarter. If I acted sooner I would have found my family’s arsenal of supernatural weapons, which included the history of every family’s lineage in New Orleans, and found out Francesca’s true species.

When I found out I called Hayley, the mother of Klaus’ child, and Klaus several times but it was too late. Francesca made her move and attacked, kidnapping Hayley just as she was about to give birth. I didn’t know the details but Klaus said the baby died a few hours after the Guerrera attack. Instead of blaming me he blamed himself.

“And how would you have stopped a coven of witches in league with her? No, if anyone is to blame, I am.”

I couldn’t go head to head with witches but if I uncovered Francesca’s werewolf roots sooner it would have given the Mikaelsons more time to prepare, they would’ve had a heads up, something. Time was crucial and when I could have made a difference, I didn’t and the baby suffered.

Hope. Her name was Hope Mikaelson, Klaus and Hayley had a little girl. She was probably beautiful with big wide eyes like her mother and a crooked smile like her father. Hope never stood a chance thanks to my slothfulness.

After the attack the Guerrera’s locked down the French Quarter, there were patrols and the vampires that escaped the initial attack were banned from returning on pain of death. Klaus, his brother Elijah, and Hayley retreated into themselves at their compound. As far as I knew no one had seen or heard from them. They had no outside communication, not that I blamed them since they were in mourning.

My friend Davina Claire, a witch, had also been MIA. She called once and told me she was back in the attic at St. Agnes’. I assumed she was doing alright, whenever we talked she seemed in a rush to end the conversation. My other friends: Marcel and Josh, both vampires, hadn’t been seen since the Guerrera’s took over. I hoped they were doing well and keeping out of trouble.

I haven’t had contact with any of my supernatural friends in weeks and I felt lonely. I wasn’t close to anyone else in my family. Uncle Kieran was all I had left and he was gone. I visited him and Sean’s graves regularly.

Lately I felt like I was drifting, and going through the motions. Truthfully after being caught up in the supernatural world normal world paled in comparison. There was no threats, no wondering who would betray who, no random visits by Klaus. I missed it.

At work I absently cleaned off a table. It was almost time to close and customers had cleared out. I heard movement behind me. There was only one person who came by after hours.

I smiled. “Klaus?”

I turned around. My smile fell when I saw it wasn’t him.

“I know you’ve just closed but can I get a drink? I’ll take it to go.” The stranger pushed his long dark hair out of his face.

“Sure.” I said and poured one for him.

When he left I locked up and walked home slowly. I passed through Jackson Square, the first place I met Klaus. I stared at a painter and sighed.

I should go to him and see how he’s doing. Maybe he’d want to talk now. He told me to go but maybe he needed someone to reach out to him. When he friend dumped me he was emotional, Klaus always liked having someone to lend an ear to listen.

As I walked home I felt like I was being watched. I nonchalantly looked over my shoulder but found no one there. I kept walking, picking up the pace, frequently checking behind me. I saw a tall muscular man behind me. At first he walked slowly, stopping to look in a store window to throw off suspicion, but I noticed him following me. Soon he gave up all pretense and hastened behind me. I moved even faster, not enough to jog but it was close to it, shortly I ran into a man in my way.

“Sir I am so sorry–” I started then stopped when I noticed he had the same bearings as the guy behind me.

Speaking of, he came to a stop behind me. I grew angry with myself for allowing him to catch up. I was surrounded. They both were tall and buff, no way could I fight my way out.

Who were these men?

The one in front of me shifter and crossed his arms across his chest. I was able to see a flash of silver on his finger. A ring, it had a black stone in the center. A moonlight ring, these two werewerewolves, probably working for Francesca.

I swallowed and tried to gather my courage. “Let me guess, your boss sent you check on me? What does Francesca want?”

The werewolf behind me spoke. “Your friend, Marcel was spotted in the Quarter. You know the rules, no vampires in the Quarter. There’s a bounty out for his head.”

I clenched my jaw and remained silent as they studied me.

“Well, do you know where he is?” The other werewolf asked.

“Do I look like I know where he is?” I snapped. I let all my pent up anger surface on my face.

After another set of intense gazes they looked at each other, seeing I was telling the truth.

“If that’s all you wanted I’ll just be on my merry way.” I said, stepping around one and walking away.

“O'Connell.” One of them called.

Against my better judgment I stopped and turned around. “Francesca hasn’t forgotten about the key.”

The key to my family arsenal. I almost forgot how she hounded me about it right after Kieran’s death.

“I haven’t found it yet.” I lied.

“See that you do.” He said in a threatening voice.

“I’ll be like a dog with a bone.” I replied before speed walking away.

I hurried home and bolted the door. What was Marcel thinking? No doubt he had a plan he was trying to enact.

I heard a groan come from the living room. I tensed and grabbed a nearby baseball bat. When I flipped on the light I saw Marcel lying on my sofa.

“Marcel what the hell?”

“Hiya Cami.” He said, a lazy smile on his face.

I tossed the bat to the side and sat by him. “What are you doing here? Are you trying to get yourself hurt?”

Marcel grunted and sat up. “I didn’t want to risk Josh’s life so I came back myself. I had to come back Cami.”

I looked at him. Sweat glistened on his smooth brown skin.

“Why did you come back? You know Francesca has wolves patrolling the Quarter.”

“You don’t say?” He said grimacing. “I went to the compound. I wanted to see Klaus.”

My heart raced unvoluntarily when I heard his name. I pushed my hair behind my ear and tried to keep my face neutral.

“I wanted to tell him I wasn’t in on the witches’ plans to take his baby. I was also gonna ask him what he planned to do about the current werewolf problem.”

“Did you talk to him?” I asked lightly, hoping my voice didn’t betray my emotions.

He shook his head. “I didn’t get a chance.” I deflated a bit but Marcel didn’t notice as he went on. “I didn’t hear anyone inside and there are locks around the compound. When I got close to check it out a werewolf found me and sounded the alarm.”

“So naturally you chose my apartment as your hiding place.” I said.

Marcel grinned, showing off his perfect pearly whites. “Well you know, I have such fond memories of this place.”

I blushed at the reference of us having sex. I never should have told him that night was amazing, even if it was true.

“They won’t think to look for me here.” He continued. “They’ll be checking my normal spots.”

“They are looking for you.” I told him about my encounter with the werewolves.

“See, this is exactly why I didn’t want you involved in this.” He said when I finished.

“Yet you have no problem crashing here while you hide out?” I said.

“Good point. I can’t help it, I worry about you.” I rolled my eyes. “Hey, I mean it. I don’t want you getting hurt. You mean something to me.”

This time the smile was genuine, I felt my heart speed up. Marcel knew when to turn on the charm.

He shifted and I noticed blood near the bottom of his shirt.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing.” Marcel said, covering the spot with his hand.

“That doesn’t look like ‘nothing’. Marcel did that werewolf bite you?”

He sighed and nodded his head. “He bit me before I escaped.”

I panicked. “You need Klaus’ blood or you won’t live through the night.”

“I have a stash at my new place across the river. I’ll lay low for an hour or two then leave.”

“What about the werewolves and the bounty on your head.”

“This is my city Cami. There’s not a back alley I don’t know. I’ll be able to slip by.” I looked at him, not reassured. “I’d say you’re cute when you’re worried but you’re cute period.”

“You’re basically on your deathbed and you’re flirting? Someone needs to prioritize.”

Marcel laughed. “I’ve missed you Cami.”

I smiled. “I missed you too.”

After an hour passed Marcel said it was time for him to leave. He looked too weak to walk but when I voiced my concern he waved it off.

“I’ve been through worse Cami believe me. Keep an eye out, Francesca will still have her dogs watching you long after I’m gone.” He paused at the door. “It was good seeing you again.” I nodded my head and he bent down and kissed my cheek. “I’m here for you Cami if you ever need me for anything.”

Marcel looked at me with his black eyes, the way he said anything, as if it the definition of “anything” was left up to me. In the next second he was gone, once again leaving me alone.


I had the next day off from work and school was on summer break. My apartment was relatively clean and I didn’t know what I wanted to do with myself.

I felt comforted by Marcel’s words last night. For the second time he was there for me when I felt alone.

I got dressed I visited Kieran and Sean’s graves. They were buried next to each other. People had long stopped scrawling murderer on Sean’s grave which was a relief. Finally people moved on and forgot what happened. Except me, I’d never forget.

Now what? I had an arsenal of supernatural weapons Francesca was looking for. I didn’t know how long I could hide the key from her. I had to keep it out of her werewolf claws.

Marcel might be interested in it, but I didn’t want to turn it over to him. This was my family’s legacy, all I had left. I couldn’t give it away.

After I left their gravesites I took a stroll through the French Quarter. I passed a place Klaus pointed out to me, where his father Mikael burned down an operahouse in pursuit of him. I turned down a street where Kieran’s funeral procession marched. I walked by St. Agnes’ where Kieran presided and where Sean commited the mass murder. I glanced at the banquet hall, where Davina’s coven held their festival.

I crashed it to beg Genevieve to help Kieran’s hex. She said she would but didn’t come through, Klaus told me he ruined it, his actions made Genevieve changed her mind. I never got the specifics on that.

Now they’re all gone. Even Genevieve, Davina told me she was found dead the same day Hope died. A wind blew and I wrapped my arms around my torso.

I walked by a park and saw a group of women my age sitting down talking and having fun. I felt alone. That’s what I got for making friends only in the supernatural community.

Before I met Klaus I didn’t make any human friends. I wasn’t my purpose in New Orleans. I was too consumed with finding out what happened to Sean and I didn’t want to explain the situation to anyone. Talking about how your twin brother murdered his fellow priests in training then committed suicide is hardly a friendship starter. The only person I had was Kieran. Then Klaus came, and I got to know Marcel, and Davina.

I kept walking, not knowing where I was headed until I made it to my destination. Marcel gave me his new address last night before he left. Before I could knock he opened the door, shirtless of course.

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon.” He commented as he let me in.

“Is Josh here?” I asked, looking around his new place.

“No, I told him to get out of town for a few weeks.”

I walked around his pad, looking at the view. It said something that his hideaway was still nicer than my apartment.

Marcel scratched the back of his neck. “Not that I don’t love you coming by, but I gotta ask: why’d you come here today?”

I walked up to him. “You told me to come see you if I needed anything. Does that offer still stand?”

“Of course.”

“Good because I need something.” I stopped in front of him.

“What?” Marcel asked, looking perplexed.

“This.” I closed the distance between us and kissed him. He automatically responded, his hands going to my waist, messing with the edges of my shirt.

I lost myself in him, allowing myself to be consumed. Nothing mattered outside of us at this moment. This was what I needed. Marcel was doing it again, just like he did the first time we slept together. He was giving me somewhere to escape to, to feel wanted, to have comfort and security.

There was no pain, no aching lonliness, no worrying over Klaus. It all disappeared along with my clothes.

And it felt good.

anonymous asked:

Have you considered an event similar to the Hunger Games? It can be a big chatzy and they can be tricked into thinking they have to kill each other, but when someone seems about to die, just leaves the chatzy and appears safe and sound in the ship, or just wakes up as if it had been a bad dream.

We have considered something like this but didn’t feel it was right for us in the past. Now, however, we have a thought that might work. Rather than one big chatzy, we are thinking of small pairs or groups similar to our Halloween event, with all of the stories being loosely connected and everyone involved experiencing the same dream/delusions. 

Please LIKE this post if you would like to participate in an event like this. It is optional but we have some ideas that will make it exciting. 

Because, in the end, being with Jesus is the happy ending to our fairytales.

In every storybook, the story and the ending is always the same. The girl dreams about her perfect man, a perfect proposal and the white dress. She dreams about what her soulmate will look like and how so swept up she’ll be in his love. It’s not something new when a girl tells you that she has a list of qualities that she wants to have in a guy. Someone who’s not only handsome, but respectful.…

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3 years ago 5 girls shared the same dream, first they fought for it as solo artists but now they are fighting for it together and they are going to end together. I want to thank this girls for showing me that even life may be impossible sometimes you have to fight because we all know anything could happen, someday you can be your on BO$$ and everything was worth it after all. 

So cheers for X Factor, 9 tours, 5 EPs, 6 music videos, 17 awards, a debut album which debuted at number one but the biggest cheer of them all will go to Ally, Normani, Lauren, Camila and Dinah….CHEERS 🍻

Love You ❤️
 ssweet-dispositionn waakeme-up allybrookeofficialshowhimyoudaflyest ocreppin normanikordeiofficial theofficialfifthharmony

Fuck I’m tired. Went to bed late.

Husband has day off, we are never sick of each other it’s creepy.
One time we had the same dream. My dream ended when he started sleep talking the last words from my dream. We are routinely thinking the same thing at the same time, like several times a day. Weird couple is too in love. Stop us

My dream future is pretty elaborate… I would have some kind of housing with two bedrooms. I live alone with a cat or two and have a kitchen with lots of counter space, a small sunroom, and an office. The sunroom has big glass doors so I can keep plants that are poisonous and/or easily knocked over away from the cats, but still look at them all the time. The place where I live is very cold and it snows and rains frequently. I don’t have to shovel any walks or driveways.

I live and/or work within a fifteen-minute walk of some kind of park or arboretum, several restaurants, a coffee shop, and a theater. I am a capable and respected biostatistician and work with a small team of dedicated, high-caliber researchers. We are good friends and enjoy traveling together for conferences and going out for drinks or dinner a few nights a week. I regularly participate in leftist causes and am respected in local activist circles. I also have a small circle, possibly online, of people with similar tastes in cartoons and video games; we meet or Skype to hash over theories and character analysis. 

Also I am super good at birding and have checked a large portion of seabirds and Old World vultures off of my life list. 

(!!!! i feel that this is a pretty achievable and lovely future! good luck with all of your birding and with the plants that could theoretically be knocked over by cats but will not because of your lovely sunroom!!!)


“An idol needs to smile.”

2015.07.22 happy birthday nico!!

Now that seventeen has performed their goodbye stage, I’d just like to say a few words. First of all, we all should be extremely proud with all of them. After long and exhausting days of training, this was it - they showed us what they’re capable of doing. And for us fans, as we waited for three years, this was the gift they gave us and it was amazing. In this era, we’ve seen them improve their skills, we’ve seen other talents that we didn’t know before, we’ve seen their variety skills, we’ve seen how much their voices and dancing improved greatly, we’ve seen their brotherhood, we’ve witnessed a lot of things in this era. Back then we’ve seen them laugh, we’ve seen them cry, we’ve even seen them getting scolded yet now look at them. These are a group of boys all determined to achieve the same dream and we can all see that they’re willing to put in however amount of effort together to reach that dream. Yes, this era has arrived to a conclusion and for only a debut stage, they did incredible. The improvement that has happened compared to 3 years ago is astonishing. This is not a destination; don’t think of this as a goodbye. I understand a lot of us are sad about this but this is only the beginning of their journey; think of this as a hello as we will be seeing more of their potentials as time progresses.   

That annoying moment when u have those dreams where u thought u were awake so u did what u needed to do then u wake up from ur sleep and realizing it was just a dream then do the same things that u were supposed to do, then realizing it was just a dream again… then wake up from it again. Then it repeats like that few times. And when u wake up… finally… u feel like u didn’t sleep at all from stressing over all of that and u r just like… FML.

1. I make up code words for depression in my head and never tell anyone what they are.

2. Learning to love yourself is NOT THE SAME THING as being taught to cut the soft spots out of fruit.

3. For the past three days I have had the same dream where I buy a new set of plates just to break them.

4. There are 92 days left until you kiss me in the foreign coffee shop (or don’t show up and I really have to quit writing poems about you).

5. I wonder if being a poet means I don’t get to have secrets anymore, means I don’t get to keep things to myself, means the inside of me is always scooped out.
—  “July 14th in 5 Parts” Trista Mateer

Is my love

Your drug?

Day 6 - Seven panels for Episode Seven