Burn Notice has a made-for-tv movie about the backstory of Sam Axe, played by Bruce Campbell, star of the cult classic Evil Dead series.

About 50 minutes into this, he picks up a chainsaw, throws it down a cliffside, where it crashes through the window of a car filled with hostile soldiers. At which he says, “Very groovy!”

I’m somewhere between disbelieving laughter and disbelieving screaming, and I love it.

I have serious questions about Burn Notice.

For starters, how the fuck does Michael pay for anything?  LIke I know Sam has his pension and Fi runs her guns and all three of them are pretty good theives.  But every time Michael does a job, he refuses payment.  Who the fuck is paying for all his yogurt?  Does his mother still give him grocery money? 

What about his clothes?  Those are some nice suits he has on.  Where did he get them?  He states that he was dropped in Miami with only the clothes on his back.  Where did the rest of them come from?  Where does he even keep his clothes in that damn loft?  There is zero storage space in there. It’s mentioned that he doesn’t ahve a washer or a dryer.  Does he go to a laundromat?  Or his mom’s?

Not to mention his rent.  200 a month.  Which is cheap but you still have to pay it.  Plus his electric bill.  He must use a lot of it.  Is there a toilet in that place?  What about a shower?  Does he pay a water bill too?  And where does he get the cell phones he goes through?  Or pay to replace the charger?  I know he does the work himself but you still have to buy the things that go in the car.

How the fuck does he pay for things?