my favorite kind of wincest is backwater towns with humid days in the shade where they’re both sweating and used to it, boys who aren’t only looking but watching for every new scar on each other’s body. nights alone in separate beds in separate rooms because the place they’re at has the extra space but it’s killing them. my favorite kind of wincest is sound of iron and wine lyrics, their music is so perfect for them. you’re not listening. iron and wine. and. radical face is beautiful for them too. are you listening? give me country brothers who have never belonged, or belonged anywhere for that matter, they definitely don’t prefer the city. fuckin spoon feed that shit to me. i want to feel their endless pining that grows as big as the trees they pass on the long way to the next state. listen, you’re not listening, sam and dean were always meant to be together with nothing else in between, they’ll go swimming in the nearest lake when it gets dark out with the crickets and fireflies around them. they’re not afraid. they love each other. listen, listen, i have all of this stashed in my heart,
yuri is selfish. it’s how he’s been able to get this far, by putting himself first when no one else would. so when he can no longer take the heavy ache in his chest, the dull and constant need for more than gentle touches and soft reassurances, yuri cuts otabek out.
skype requests get rejected, text messages ignored, & it takes all of yuri’s willpower not to let otabek’s warm voice filter into the quietness of his room after the fourteenth missed call that night. yuri needs to let go, needs to purge from his body the longing that he knows goes unanswered.
and then, it all stops. yuri notes with bitterness that this is the part that hurts the most. the part where they become strangers again, where otabek walks past him at worlds without sparing a second glance, the part where yuri realizes that despite everything he is still stupidly in love with someone he cannot have.
“I’m sorry. This isn’t a problem I can make disappear, and you know that… But I may be able to shift it.
It’s better this way. I’ll be fine.
This may hurt. And if I can’t tell you again… I’m sorry I ever did this to you.”
OK, while I’m flailing over Cas, I don’t wan to forget how awesome Sam was this episode. Sam defending Cas. Sam trying to break the awkwardness and get Dean and Cas talking. Sam hanging off the edge of that booth haha. Sam ever being the soft voice of reason. Sam listening to Lily and being so understanding about revenge and deals. Sam being the supportive brother to Cas no matter what mistakes he may have made because he can sure understand making sacrifices for Dean. Just… Sam!!!
Sam sees himself as almost like…used goods. You know, like, Sam kinda was… supposed to do bad things. He had some demon blood in him—and it’s still there! And we see Sam thinking that Dean hates him, as well, not just Jack. So we’re gonna see them come to terms with what exactly that means.