sam knows how much it means to dean

Castiel is sat at the table in the bunker, he’s content to just sit there but traces a finger over the wood grain until it drifts towards the initials Sam and Dean have carved into the table. It’s rough against his fingers but he keeps going until his finger hits the last section of Dean’s initials. He stops and just kinda looks at them, they’re seemingly insignificant to anyone who doesn’t know the Winchester brothers, but Castiel knows just how much those carved initials mean.

A smile turns the corner of his lips and he flexes his fingers before drawing his and away. The sound of metal sliding against wood comes towards him and Castiel glances up. Dean’s knife is facing him just inches away and he looks up at Dean who’s looking at him fondly. He doesn’t say anything, but he gives him a curt nod.

His turn.

Knife in hand, Castiel hesitates. He feels like he shouldn’t be doing this. That is until words, years old, come to him. We’re family… Dean’s words while Castiel towers over him, breaking.

We’re family. The knife digs into the table and it takes a little force to form a squared off C. It doesn’t match Sam and Dean’s, he hasn’t got a last name so he just leaves it and puts the knife down. It’s only moments though, before he picks it up again and carves an identical W into the wood.

C.W.

He smiles. It’s right, it feels right. When he looks over at Dean again, he’s still got that fond look on his face before he returns to his book.

Sam walks by and, peeking at his handiwork, pats him on the shoulder.

He’s family.

Sam knows a code word when he hears one. Hell, he and Dean have about a hundred or so words and phrases and hand gestures that they’ve accumulated over the years to make a language all of their own. It’s not hard to figure out when something means something else entirely.

Which is how Sam finds out about Dean and Cas’ “secret” relationship. 

The first time Dean asked Cas if he wanted to “play Scrabble,” Sam didn’t really think much of it. Dean and Cas disappeared to do random shit all the time. They were, after all, best friends and pretty much attached at the hip.

But then Dean asked again a couple days later. Then Cas asked. Then Sam realized.

They would disappear into Dean’s room to “play Scrabble,” and then they would come out two hours later looking angry or exhausted or smug or any other emotion to describe that they had just fucked.

Sam elected to ignore it. He didn’t really care if Dean and Cas were secretly fucking as long as they were happy. If things got serious, they would tell him.

That is, until one day Sam walks into Dean’s room without waiting for a “come in” and finds Dean and Cas–

“What the fuck are you guys doing?”

They both look up at him with wide eyes. Dean holds a little wooden letter in his hand and responds, “What does it look like we’re doing?”

“It looks like you’re playing Scrabble.”

“Yeah. Didn’t you hear us say we were going to play Scrabble like an hour ago?” Dean puts his letter down, and Sam sees the word “bullet” written on the board.

“So…that wasn’t…a code word?”

Cas answers this time, “Why would Dean and I need a code word at home when it is only the three of us here?”

“Because you’re–you’re–never mind.” Sam slams the door behind him before they can say anything else.

Muffled through the door, he hears Dean say, “Oh my god, dude, I think Sammy thought you and I were having sex.”

4

9x08 “Rock and A Hard Place”
On Comfort and Gentleness

Posted as part of the Series “Of Blood, Bone and Darkness”:
A Carver Era Rewatch Hiatus Meta-Series

This moment like many others throughout Supernatural as a whole imo shines a light on what Dean truly craves and what he thinks he is able to receive or what he deserves. This is a topic that has been point of discussion and fighting within the fandom for a long time and I rather not get involved in any of that, but to me Dean and his “sex life” is yet another clear case of “show vs. tell” that Supernatural utilizes heavily. I have talked about this multiple times and especially in relation to famous misconceptions about the Winchesters brothers, because while the show often “tells” the audience that supposedly Sam is the more emotional one and opens up more, we actually don’t see that while Dean verbalizes his emotions and concerns much more frequently than Sam ever did and yet he is often described to be the one “not wanting to talk”.

Now, how does that have anything to do with Dean and his sexual adventures? I think it’s important to take Dean’s own words at face value here, because imo he is actually very honest in this moment. To me his words reveal that especially in times of great distress Dean opts for sex as a means to feel better, though he knows perfectly well it’s only a temporary fix as one night stands aren’t really what he craves, but this type of intimacy is closest he thinks he could get. It’s clear however in his words and multiple other actions and comments throughout the series that Dean really isn’t looking just to shack up, but actually craves comfort and true connection, something that lasts far longer and something that has actually nothing to with sex at all.

So this might be a wildly unpopular opinion, but to me Dean substitutes feeling good and comforted and loved with having sex, where he can feel like that at least for a couple of hours, because really he doesn’t think anyone would want to be with him longer than that anyway. Plus, and this is mostly headcanon, for all Dean’s boasting, I think when it comes right down to it and to a serious relationship he might be very self conscious and insecure, for sure he would be a very sweet boyfriend, because if Supernatural proved one thing then it is Dean craving human touch and gentleness, intimacy really. And that has nothing to do with sex or sth physical at all tbh. Intimacy can be displayed in various forms but to me one of the most important aspects surrounding it is trust, allowing yourself to be vulnerable because you know you’re loved and understood.

2

9x05 Dog Dean Afternoon

As amazing and hysterical as this episode was I can’t help but think how much more hilarious and adorable it could have been if Sam was also able to talk to dogs!

I mean think about it, we know Sam loves dogs…..

…So can you imagine how excited he would have been to talk to one of his favourite animals?! 
He’d be like: 

Hi! 

What’s your name?

What’s it like being a dog? 

Omg can I be your friend?!” 

Side note: Still praying the boys get a dog….. (and one that never dies!) 

Gif sources: unknown 

Okay, I’ve just gotta say my piece here. 

When Dean came at Sam with his angry speech about how Sam is using Jack because of what Jack can do, that’s Dean’s own anger and hate(?) towards the kid mixed with his grief being thrown at Sam and how Dean sees the situation.

Does Sam know that Jack can possibly open another rift and maybe get Mary back? Of course. Does that mean Sam doesn’t care about him? No. 

You can see how much Sam cares about Jack in the way he tries to comfort him, in the way he gives Jack a break when he realizes he’s pushing him too hard because he cares about how Jack feels, how he opens up to him about his own past and is emotional and trusting and putting his heart on the table for this kid, how he defends him to literally anyone and tells Jack, as well as Dean, how he relates to the kid, too. 

Sam was literally reading a book about how to parent gifted children, for crying out loud. 

Please don’t say that Dean is right that Sam is just wanting to use the kid and doesn’t care. Dean is hurt and grieving and lashing out; doesn’t make his words true. And don’t forget that just because Sam is burying his own pain and grief deep down by focusing on Jack and trying to stay hopeful that he’s hurting, too.

Please don’t call Sam a liar when he allows himself to open up and be vulnerable to a stranger - he sees himself in Jack, knows in his own way how the kid is feeling, and while yes, again, maybe saving Mom is one of his motives (because you’re allowed to care about saving and/or helping more than one person at a time) that doesn’t mean he doesn’t genuinely want to help Jack and help him to be good. To save him. To fight for him like he has been. Sam believes in him more than anyone right now. 

If you don’t think Sam would die for this kid, then you don’t know his heart, pure and simple <3 

Everyone in the fandom seems to have realised that Jack & Sam already have a connection. And that what we are going to see fold out over the coming episodes is Sam empathizing with Jack, doing his best to be a role model. And maybe we will see some true kinship emerge between The Boy King of Hell and the Spawn of Lucifer.

But I think it goes a little bit further than that. How does this paternal, nurturing Sam translate to the rest of the characters? I think we are going to see a full mirror of the Winchester dynamic from earlier seasons, so bear with me this is going to get crazy.

So we have our two beautiful boys, Sam  & Jack. Both born to tragic circumstances and with the weight of destiny behind them.

The angels orchestrated Sam (and Dean’s) conception to start the apocalypse, and likewise Lucifer planned Jack’s birth - hinted in 12.23 “I look around and I could do so much better […] Apocalypse 2.0″.

So, we already know Sam is going to bond with Jack. See the potential for him to do good, while also understanding that he is just a kid. Nurture as opposed to Nature. Which sums up the brothers rather beautifully this season. Sam who arguably was made to be evil, but the love for his family overcame his nature. And Dean who was made to be a vessel of heaven, and yet he sees himself as a killer. He doesnt argue when Ketch calls him a killer because he genuinely believes that is what he is, and no amount of love or good intentions can save him.

When Dean suggests killing Jack after the showdown at the Jail, we see that Sam (who has already started flexing his independence from Dean in S12 finales) is not going to agree to that and will likely defy Dean if he tries to. Sound Familiar?

Like when John wanted to kill Sam because he had the potential to be evil, and even tried too force Dean to do it. Which obviously Dean refuses despite his history of family loyalty. Would Sam choose Jack over Dean, like Dean chose him? Probably not. However we do have one giant klaxon to illustrate just how far Sam might shift if pushed:

In the entire 12 seasons of Supernatural, Sam has NEVER killed an Angel. It is always Dean or Cas who lands the angel-killing blow. Which seems right, both Dean and later Cas have no faith in heaven or God. But Sam always was the first to pray, the more devout brother. Can everyone remember how awestruck he was meeting an angel for the first time, or even God?

And yet here in episode 1 we have him avenging Jack within seconds. Killing the angel without blinking, when he has managed to avoid doing so for a decade.

Originally posted by charlie-bradcherry

Meanwhile Dean stands by and lets it happen. Lets the angel who he hates kill the nephil he hates even more. And maybe, even goad the angel to finish him off after that; because if we are having a ‘who Dean Winchester hates more competition’, Dean always gets first prize and a pity party to celebrate.

Its clear that this is just one death too many for Dean. He has finally met his upper limit. But why did Cas’ death this time around shake him, more than any others? It could be the body? Usually Cas tends to go out with a bang (sorry), so you could almost pretend he has just woooshed off somewhere. But it’s pretty hard to believe that lie when you are wrapping your best friend’s body for the pyre.

Originally posted by weeklyspn

The flashback that we see in Dean’s nephilim sanctioned nap is the key I think. We have the happy bonus trauma of losing Mary again, in a flash of flaming light, echoing back to her death in S1. Mary’s death and Cas’ were both needless and made Dean feel powerless. As a child Dean couldn’t save his mother, and he couldn’t save Cas. Cas who would have been fine if he had just stuck to the plan. Hadn’t gone after Lucifer in the AU. But you can’t think ill of the Dead, can’t blame them; so you blame yourself instead. If only I had …

That is what this season is about, stripping the boys back to the bone. Yes they are the Famous Winchester’s, but what do they have? One parent gone, one missing, allies sparse on the ground, no angels to heal them, no king of hell to bargain with. Just balls to the wall.

I think the early part of this season, at least until we get Cas back we are going to see a lot of Dean / John parallels and Sam taking the mantle of protective older brother. 

Sam is going to be the one teaching Jack, helping him find his way in the world, just like Dean did for him. We know that Dean is too numb at this point to do anything other than put one foot in front of the other. Notice how Sam explains what to say at a funeral, while Dean just stares into the flames? It is Sam who takes Jack to see his mother’s body, because he knows how much that will mean to Jack. How important it is for him to see his mother one last time, something Sam never thought he would have until very recently. 

Originally posted by itsokaysammy

Dean is on autopilot, as we often see him when he is grieving. This is probably why we are seeing Dean rush back into case work. It is hinted that Sam stays home with Jack for now. And there we have our perfect picture of the shift in their relationships. Dean, like John is rushing out to deal with some MotW while Sam stays home to look after Jack. Because Dean and John, with their gruff personas and compartmentalizing only have one way of dealing with grief: got to keep busy with the monsters outside so you are too tired to see the ones when you close your eyes.

JDM has hinted that he would like to return to Supernatural, with his busy filming schedules it is unlikely we could win him back for good. But it would be a great way to culminate this growth and development with the Winchesters if we could have one episode, where Dean can make amends with John (much like the Mary scene last season). Hopefully giving Dean some kind of closure or just the means to understand that they can’t and don’t need to perpetrate the endless cycle of death and resurrection. Because although we don’t want to let the brothers go, we also don’t want them to suffer all the pain and betrayal that comes from them putting survival of each other above everything else.

The Arrangement (Part 9)

Originally posted by grumpycatdixon

Summary: You and Dean have an interesting morning, but Sam interrupts. Later, you and Mary have a little heart to heart, and Dean says something surprising.

Pairing: AU!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings (don’t read unless you want some spoilers): mild smutiness / smutty thoughts, language, sexual tension per usual

A/N: Because the response to this fic has been so amazing, and I love you guys, here’s part nine early!! (Also I feel bad because this is MORE buildup to the gala. But I think you’ll like it) Once more, feedback is always welcome!

Need to catch up? Check out the Series Masterlist!

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Imagine...Sam Looking Out For You & Dean

Originally posted by thejabberwock

Request: Hey! I love your writing and was wondering if you would write a Dean x Reader where the reader and Sam have been best friends for a long time. They have hunted together and met up while Dean was out but Sam always made sure to keep the reader from Dean because he knows that Dean would try to get into her pants. One day they do meet though, Dean is smitten and has to prove to Sam that the reader isn’t just a hookup for him. Once convinced Sam tells the reader not to break Dean’s heart.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: language (one word)


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I Need You…

So this is going to be long and rambly and I apologize in advance. I’ve talked weeks ago about how Dean and Cas don’t use the same language to talk about their love for each other in this post and there’s also this great post not by me about how Dean and Cas still have to find a relationship dynamic that makes both of them feel good (because neither family or friend have been able to keep them both satisfied and close together, something they both want).

And I was thinking… while we as a fandom have been (rightly so) completely freaking out and being happy about the “I need you” in 08x17, I feel as if the show has been trying to portray this particular kind of sentence as extremely negative in the last few episodes. Granted, this has been going on for longer than that, but this season with Sam “needing” Jack it has reached a new height.

The obvious but surface-level reading (which Dean has right now) says that Sam is just using Jack for his powers to get Mary back. And while that does factor in and yes, Sam really is hopeful that Jack could help, this is by no means the only reason he cares for Jack. We know that because we’ve seen the conversations between Jack and Sam: we’ve seen him spell out other motivations and we’ve seen him being kind and caring to Jack in the last episodes. It’s not just about needing him, it never was and it never will be.

But, here’s the thing, saying you need someone is safe. Which is why Sam chooses to use it multiple times when he talks to Dean.

Can you imagine Sam just opening up and telling Dean “yeah I want to help Jack because I see myself in him and I desperately want to prove myself that you are not inherently evil because of your powers and I also just can’t see him suffer the way I used to”? (Though I hope it does get said some time in the future.)

“I need him” is a cop-out because it’s true enough that you can say it convincingly but it doesn’t hold the emotional weight that others could use to mainpuate or hurt you. 

But it’s also the wrong thing to do because it leads to misunderstandings all around: first of all there’s Dean who can’t see past the lie and resents Sam for just working with Jack for - in his opinion - stupid motives. But more importantly there’s also Jack, the one who’s “needed”, who eaves-dropped on the conversation and now probably thinks that everything else Sam has said to him before was a lie to make him cooperate. 

And that brings us finally back to Destiel because the same thing happened to Dean and Cas: Cas is still convinced that Dean only NEEDS him for specific purposes because that’s all that Dean ever told him. Even after Cas told Dean that he loves him, one of Dean’s arguments when he was missing for a few episodes was “You weren’t there when we had a shot at Dagon!”.

Now we, the audience, know that this isn’t true, that Dean doesn’t just need him to be a good tool, he cares a lot about him. But “I need you” just doesn’t cut in anymore and the last episodes have made that abundantly clear.

If you lean back in your seat and sigh “Jesus, Sam, don’t say you need him to bring Mary back, HE’S NEVER GOING TO UNDERSTAND THIS” then you can probably see what I mean by that; we are supposed to do that because it’s framed as bad and not even close to explain all of Sam’s intentions. It’s missing half the picture and this half could be used to paint a way more harmonious picture, one where people know they care about each other equally (but then, that wouldn’t be Supernatural, would it).

But what I want to say in conclusion: when Cas comes back, Dean saying “I need you” just won’t cut in anymore. It’s not a good sentence, it leads to misunderstandings from all sides (Dean thinking Sam only needs Jack as a tool can also be the other way round: Sam not getting how much Cas truly means to Dean because he never expressed it) and it doesn’t solve anything.

It was a good sentence 5 seasons ago but now it’s time to move on. The question is what will Dean say instead?

6

Can’t you see it? Can’t you read it in their smiles? In every word spoken and even more in those unsaid. Look at their faces. How long has it been since we’ve seen them smile? Really, truly smile? And we know it’s not fake, cause they can’t even see each other, but they’ll smile nonetheless. It’s real and it’s pure. It’s there in gentle teasing and quiet memories. It’s in a simple question. How are you, Dean? Well, in front of Sam he’ll shake that question easy enough, never was one for chick flick moments you know. But you can see what it means to him, how he’s still surprised that anyone would even care, and how much it means to him that Cas would bother to ask. It’s love. That’s what’s there, and if you can’t see it you must have your eyes closed. Because there’s not one second of this that says otherwise. And when Cas speaks there it is again. I miss life on the road, I miss the smell of worn leather and whiskey, I miss you.

You have to choose, Castiel, us or them?

Writing meta about Castiel is always interesting to me. For the past three years I’ve been talking about Castiel’s endgame and the fact that Jeremy Carver changed it. Since Cas was introduced, he has never stayed with the Winchesters for a long time. In this post from 2014, I explained what the questions regarding Cas were and that he had to make his final decisions based on something he wanted, not on something he had to do. As a complement, in this post from last year, I explained that Cas’ endgame was clearly heaven for a very long time until Carver came along and flipped the script. Cas’ journey has been pretty evident since the Carver era: In the end he’ll choose humanity. However, I think the meta I’m writing right now is necessary to explain that if Cas chooses humanity, he has to do it because he wants to, not because it’s the only choice available.

Many people are upset because Cas is going back to Heaven without even telling Dean. I, on the other hand, feel excited about what happened in episode 12x15. We already know that Castiel’s family, the angelic one, hates him. He’s not welcomed in Heaven at all, and he knows it. I suppose that must hurt. Let’s think about it for a moment. If our blood family rejects us, we can always have people in our lives that we consider family –although not by blood, but that doesn’t mean the rejection will stop hurting. What’s the point of Cas choosing Dean and the other Winchesters if they are basically the only choice he has?

I would thank Andrew Dabb forever if he found a way for Heaven to forgive Cas and welcome him once more. After everything Cas has done (no matter if he’s meant it or not), I’ve always thought that having the angels accept Castiel again as one of their own is a difficult but necessary task. Why do I say it’s necessary? I say it because when Cas makes his final decision regarding what he wants to be (angel or human), where he belongs (heaven or earth), and who his family is (the angels or the Winchesters), he needs to know that he can pick either.

Truth be told, it would be even better if Cas didn’t have to choose between heaven and earth. However, unless the narrative changes in the hands of Dabb, Castiel’s journey has been set to choose only one option. That was definitely Carver’s idea. Do you Remember Naomi’s words? “You have to choose, Castiel, us or them?” Cas’ endgame was foreshadowed back in 8x17, and I don’t think Dabb has changed his mind about what Carver wanted for Cas, or at least I don’t have proof of that in what the show is giving us. As recently as 12x14, Dean was angry with Sam because Sam’s always split in the middle. In fact, Dean asked Sam to pick a side. That’s precisely what I think Cas will have to do one day in the foreseeable future.

What I know for sure is that Castiel’s endgame won’t be in Heaven. Cas doesn’t belong there anymore, but he needs the chance to experience that for himself. If the angels accept Cas, and he’s welcomed in Heaven again, he will realize how much of an outsider he is now. He will always go back to his family, the one that means the world to him, the Winchesters (mostly Dean), but when he does it, it will be because he wants to, not because he has to. He will choose the Winchesters because he loves them, because they’re his family, not because Heaven won’t take him back. He will say goodbye to Heaven not because he’s not allowed there, not because he’s the most hated angel after Lucifer. He’ll do so because Heaven isn’t Cas’ home anymore.

And on Earth there will be someone ready to show Cas the way to find his real home:

13 Reasons Why (Tape 9)

Characters: sister!reader, John, Mary, Sam, Dean, Ketch, Toni, Mick, Claire(mentioned), Bobby(mentioned)

Warnings: mention of suicide, angst, loss, death, angst, swearing, crying, angst, murder, anger issues, did I mention angst?

Word count: 9597

Summary: Sam, Dean, John and Mary all take action against the British Men of Letters after Dean listens to tape 9.

Series: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Where do we go from here, Dean thought. How will we move on? Can we move on from this? After these tapes, how will he ever live knowing that they caused you so much pain. How can he keep going when these things are hitting him in the face with all the facts that everyone that ever cared about you, never paid attention to?

Dean had started tape 9 in the car on the way to the motel they were staying at. It wasn’t too far from the bunker, only a couple of hours. When he arrived at the motel, he took a seat on the bed and continued to listen. As your words flowed through his ears and impressed him, he thought about all of the pain the others had caused to you and he couldn’t relate to them; however, he understood what this one felt like. He knew what it was like to be betrayed like this, but even worse to know what you had done.

He finished the tape. He actually finished tape 9 without pausing it and was shocked that Ketch was even capable of what you had spoke of. He knew what people like Rowena and Crowley were able to do, but this was a low blow… Even for Ketch.

“Dean, come on,” Sam said as they were all leaving the motel room. “We’ve gotta go talk to the victims, it’ll bring us closer to the British Men of Letters.”

“Coming,” he replied with a nod. But all Dean heard was, It’ll bring us closer to killing Ketch.

* * *

It was a few weeks after Rowena had practised her magic on you and you were not coping well. You hadn’t left the bunker in those few weeks and hadn’t eaten or slept much. Your brothers constantly pressed you to tell them what happened that night or who was involved but you would just scream at them and go back to your room. You couldn’t tell anyone about it. Rowena could find out and she would make Crowley return Jody’s soul to hell. Who could you go to anyway, your brothers? Or John? Or even Mary?

You missed Mary. You really did love her like she was your own mom, but the thing was she didn’t love you like a daughter. She was kind to you in front of your brothers and John, luckily you didn’t get any time alone so she couldn’t be mean to you.

A light tapping at your door pulled you from your thoughts before you regretfully said, “come in.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” John spoke softly. “We’re all going on a family trip for a big hunt, we obviously want you to join us. You in?”

* * *

Dean remembered back when they first worked with the British Men of Letters and were forced to trust them. It was after they had tortured Sam into giving them information about American hunters. They would work on cases with Mick Davies usually because he was the only one that Dean actually trusted. Ketch and Toni were his problem mostly, but even back then they had to trust them even after everything they had done to Sam.

* * *

“I don’t know, dad,” you told him with a forced smile, he could see in your eyes how damaged you were. “I’m not really feeling it right now.”

“You haven’t felt like doing anything for a few weeks,” he spoke softly. “You wanna talk about it?” He asked you as he closed your bedroom door and sat at the end of your bed.

You shook your head; your eyes darted away from him because you knew you couldn’t look him in the eye and not tell the truth. “I’m okay.”

“Listen, I know that your life hasn’t been easy, sweetheart. Especially since you’ve met me, and my wife and your brothers.. I know that, I get that. I also get that you can’t forgive me yet, or maybe you never can and that’s okay. I understand,” John stressed. “But what’s not okay is you locking yourself away from us all and not talking to us when you need to. I know that you’re suffering, and you have to know that you can speak to me. You don’t trust me, but that’s gonna leave you worse off rather than better.”

You let your eyes look back up at your father. Of course you didn’t trust him, he left you. He sucked. You hated him and you didn’t know if you could ever forgive him, but right now he was all you had and he was saying everything you needed to hear. You started to think that maybe you could beat this… You would give life one last chance.

* * *

“Can you describe what these people looked like?” Mary asked the young woman who held a child close at her hip.

“There was a blonde woman, or ginger. Like, strawberry blonde. She wore a red blazer with a white blouse and a black skirt. She wasn’t actually doing anything. She didn’t-” she began but caught her breath as she looked down at her son who was only five years old and would now have to grow up without a father. She whispered the rest of her statement. “She didn’t hurt my husband, there was a group of men wearing black gear, with guns in their hands. They all wore masks apart from one man that spoke to the woman in the blazer… I think she called him Keith, or Catch? Something like that. Also, they had British accents.”

She described them perfectly, it was the Brits after all. Toni and Ketch were still in on it and trying to kill all of the monsters in the States. One secret that Dean regretted they had to keep from this woman was that her husband was turned into a vampire a few years after their son was born. He and Sam had heard of this vampire before, that’s how he knew why the Brits had taken care of him. He was an awful monster, really. But the way they handled it was terrible; they were killing the whole nest right in front of the leaders wife.

“I don’t know who the people with my husband were,” she told them. “He used to go out a lot. During the night, just before the sun rose, he would head out and say he was going somewhere and not come back until night again. I followed him once, he headed to a warehouse about 10 miles from here. I didn’t go inside, I was scared of what he could have been doing. I guess, whatever it was, it got him in trouble with the wrong people.”

“Thank you for your time,” John thanked as he pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it to the woman. “If you remember anything else please don’t hesitate to call.”

They all stood around together, away from the woman they questioned, and talked about what she had said. “It has to be them, she described them perfectly!” Mary exclaimed.

“We can’t get too ahead of ourselves,” John reminded her, but Sam and Dean were with Mary on this one.

“Dad, come on,” Dean argued. “She said that a British woman called one of the men Keith or Catch, you can’t tell me that isn’t Ketch! And a red blazer? That’s got to be Toni.”

“Yeah, I don’t see it being anyone else,” Sam agreed. “If it was that would be too much of a coincidence. Like it was set up.”

“Yeah, set up,” John nodded. “That’s what I’m trying to say, Sam. I mean, come on, all of you! You really think Toni would be caught dead out here with those guys? You really think they would risk saying their names so loud that someone would hear them?!”

“So you think they’re setting us up?” Mary questioned.

“I think they’re trying to throw us off track,” John replied. “But that just leaves the question of, where are they?”

“Y/N would have had this figured out in no time,” Dean told them all. It was supposed to just be a thought, but the words escaped from his mouth. “She always was a smart kid.”

“Yeah, she was,” Sam agreed with a reminiscent smile. “I guess the four of us are gonna have to try and beat what Y/N could do on her own.”

“As if we would ever be able to pull of what she was able to pull off,” Mary added. “We need her.”

* * *

No one needs me, you thought. Why does no one need me? I wonder if anyone ever thinks to themselves, ‘I need her.’ No, of course they wouldn’t, so you scrapped the idea and packed your bag for this family road trip they had all planned.

Dean was driving with Sam next to him and you in the back seat. John and Mary had decided to take a different car they had got from Bobby’s at some point just so there was a little more room. Things were still awkward with your brothers because you refused to tell them what happened.

“How far is it?” You asked as Dean started to drive. “And who are these people?”

“You know how we’re all legacies? The American Men of Letters, these people are the legacies in Britain,” Sam finished.

“Wait a second,” you replied to your brothers, Dean kept his eyes on the road up the highway. “You can’t mean the British Men of Letters. You guys told me that they tortured Sam, or am I thinking of someone else?”

“Y/N-” Sam started to say.

“Oh my god,” you complained. “You have got to be kidding me. Working with the people that almost killed you?!”

“Our lives are complicated,” Dean told you sternly. “I know that is sucks and as much as we don’t want to work with them, it’s in our best interest to do so. I hate them, OK? Sam does too, we all do. But like I said, best interest and all that.”

“Well they can kiss my ass if they think I’m going to be nice to them,” you complained which earned a small chuckle from both of them. You were starting to act a little less angry and a little more, well, you. The you that they knew and loved, the one that’s happy. That’s how they wanted you to be because they hated the thought of you suffering.

“There’s one that’s not so bad, his names Mick,” Dean added. “Claire might have told you about him. She met him once.”

“Uh, actually, I haven’t spoken to her since what happened at Jody’s,” you reminded them. Great, another reminder that you had lied to their faces just a month ago. “But anyway, I’ll make my own judgements on these people. So far they haven’t got me happy, hurting my brother was a huge mistake.”

You saw Sam smile. A genuine smile that you only ever saw now and then. It wasn’t a very regular thing that happened but you loved when it did, the way the corners of his mouth would try to stay subtlety risen but he just couldn’t help himself. It was when you would show him love, you felt like he wasn’t appreciated enough and you showed him how much you adored him just by dropping small hints.

The rest of the car ride was silent, well, that is if you consider Dean singing, I’m sorry, screaming, along to every song on his AC/DC tape. Sam complained which only made Dean turn his music up even louder. The whole way there, he sung his heart out with the window wide open and it left you giggling in the back seat.

Once the whole thing was finished, Dean took the tape out of the player in his car. “You still have cassette tapes, you’re so lame,” you told him and Sam laughed to agree with you. “They’re pretty cool though, very vintage.”

“Yeah, you want some? I have a few blank tapes, you can put your own music on there,” Dean offered. “How many you gonna want?”

“I’ll let you know later,” you replied as Sam handed you the box full of tapes that Dean owned. “Boy oh boy, you have a lot of tapes.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty old,” Sam told you which earned a nudge in his side from Dean.

“Well, here we are,” Dean revealed. “This is gonna be fun.”

* * *

They were back at the motel and trying to figure out where the Brits were located. None of them thought the same way that you did, you had an open mind. They were always too focused on what the topic was.

“There’s gotta be some kind of sign. Why couldn’t they have just kept their base where it used to be and where we knew it was? I mean, we used to drive there, damn it. We drove there with Y/N once, why the hell did they have to move after that?!,” John complained as he paced back and forth. Mary sat at the table with a laptop in front of her, Sam and Dean both sat at the end of one of the two beds. “Seriously, how did Y/N used to figure this shit out so quickly?”

“She didn’t,” Dean interrupted. ‘She just didn’t focus too much on what was going on. She thought outside of it and it usually led us to what we were looking for in the first place.“

“Well like we have already said,” Mary added without breaking eye contact with her laptop screen, “Y/N was a smart kid, we could never do what she was able to do.”

“What if we forget about the Men of Letters base and where it is,” Sam suggested as if something had just clicked in his brain. John was about to get angry with him, but Sam continued to talk. “You know, what if we’re being watched and monitored? The Brits are smart like Y/N was… So they wouldn’t just let us roam free and wait until we figured out where they were. There must be someone from the British Men of Letters that’s somewhere near us, watching to see where we go.”

“That’s good,” John nodded as he finally stopped pacing across the room. “How do we find out though? And how do we know who it is?”

“I have a plan,” Sam told them, which caused Mary’s eyes to finally drift away from her screen so that they were all staring at Sam. “But you guys are gonna have to trust me, ok?”

* * *

When you first walked in, it instantly sent shivers down your spine. Just the look of this place made you feel uneasy, it all seemed so robotic and set up. Hunting wasn’t supposed to be like that, it was supposed to happen in the moment. Direct, physical fighting wasn’t something you would plan for because you would have no idea how the other people was going to react to your fists coming towards their face. You wouldn’t know if their reflexes were fast enough to block your punch.

“Winchesters,” you heard a man with brown hair say. “It’s good to see you again, I see you’ve brought someone new along with you.”

“Y/N, this is Mick Davies,” Sam told you. “Mick, this is Y/N. Our sister.”

“Oh, yes, Y/N, I’ve heard a lot about you!” He exclaimed. “Claire has told me so much.”

“What?” You questioned. “Claire talked about me?”

“Yeah, it was while Sam and Dean were out and we were trying to find something positive for her to focus on. The first thing she brought up was you,” he revealed as if it was nothing. Wow, Claire still cared about you even after everything you had both been through. So why did she still do what she did? Why did she lie to your brothers and Jody about Gabriel? That didn’t seem like someone that cared about you, it seemed like someone who wanted you because they didn’t have you anymore.

“Mick,” another British man said from behind him. “You’re needed by Toni, she said she wants to speak to you about something from a few weeks ago. She said you had a lead on something and she’s found out more.”

“Ah, yes!” Mick replied as his head whipped around to look at this other guy. “I remember, I’ll go and see what she’s got. I’ll see you all later,” he told your family before walking off so the other guy took his place.

“I don’t believe we’ve met,” he smiled creepily as he put his hand out to shake yours. You didn’t put yours out to shake back, he just stood there stupidly with his hand in front of him for a moment before he pulled it back and sighed. “You must be a Winchester.”

“You must be Ketch,” you assumed. You had heard about him before, you condemned him for the things that he and Toni had done to hurt Sam. Not only that, but they captured Dean for a while too and even tried to turn Sam crazy. “I have a lot of things to say to you.”

“Ketch,” Dean nodded awkwardly. “This is our sister, Y/N. She’s joining us today in whatever you’ve got for us.”

“How delightful,” Ketch said happily, but you could tell it was sarcasm. You simply rolled your eyes at his words and crossed your arms over your chest. “Let’s not forget, fighting isn’t the only skill you need to be able to work these cases. It takes precision and the ability to work things out. In simple terms, you have to be smart.”

He walked and you all followed him to a room that was full of TV screens on the wall and one keyboard on a desk. “We’re plenty smart, thank you.”

“You seem a little young, Y/N,” Ketch told you as he put up a case for each of you on one of the screens. “I’m giving you all a case each, maybe you should take the easiest one.”

“I want that one,” you said as you pointed to the screen that said, Johnny Lurche. Species: as yet unidentifiable.

“Fine,” Ketch said. “You can have that one, If you can figure out what he is from the facts that we’ve given you.”

He pressed something on his keyboard that made all of the facts on Johnny Lurche show on the screen. “Done,” you said after just scanning your eyes over the screen. “He’s a witch.”

“A witch?” He questioned. “How could you possibly-”

“The smell of sulphur and the feeling of a chill suggests two different monsters. This would have been created as a diversion so that any hunter would believe it was either a ghost or a demon. However, that means this monster would have to be smart, so we already know it’s not a werewolf or a vampire. We know it’s not a vampire anyway because he’s not in a large pack, it’s the same with the werewolf. And if you look at Johnny you can see that he looks human so we can rule out a lot of monsters such as Banshee’s, Pontianak’s and Wendigo’s. Also, the bottom of the results you have back say that in his house, where he was assumed to have killed his wife, there was a small bag with a red symbol on it and it contained bones. It’s called a hex bag, it’s what witches use. So maybe before you start calling me stupid, you should do your damn research.”

Silence. Complete, utter silence. Not a single word came from that mans mouth, and you could almost feel how proud Mary, John, Sam and Dean were from what you had just expressed. You smiled sweetly, but of course, it was sarcasm.

“I’ll be right back,” Ketch sneered before he walked out of the room and left you all to choose which case you wanted to take.

“Nice work, Y/N,” Sam chuckled as Ketch left. “You sure proved him wrong.”

“Well, I know my stuff,” you replied without taking your eyes off the screen about Johnny. The real reason you had gotten so good was because of what happened with your dad back before your mother died. The way he made you feel because you didn’t know anything drove you to make sure you did your homework on monsters. You knew everything there was to know and you had to prove that to every hunter around you.

It was a little annoying to you all that you had to go off for separate cases, but you didn’t really have a choice. A different member of the British Men of Letters worked with each of you for the case you had chosen. In a very unfortunate event, Ketch had ended up being in charge of the case you had chosen. Fantastic, you thought, I get to spend more time with this asshole that likes to put me down and expect the worst from me.

You didn’t see your family for the rest of that day, you spent it in a car with Ketch on the way to the house of Johnny Lurche.

* * *

Dean walked into the bar that they knew they would be followed to. Trust me, Sam had told him, and of course he did. Sam’s his brother, he had to trust him. But you trusted Ketch and look where that got you. Ketch betrayed you. Sam would never do something like that, but the word ‘trust’ was very strange to Dean at the moment. Regardless, he believed in his brother, and he walked into the bar.

* * *

“I must say, Y/N,” Ketch said from the drivers seat with you riding shot gun, “I was very impressed by your quick work today. I was extremely embarrassed that you had showed me up like that so I left the room, but I was still impressed.”

“Thanks,” you replied. “I guess I’ve just got a knack for it.”

“You sure do,” he agreed. “That’s why I wanted to ask you something. I know how you’ll feel about the question but I want you to really consider it.”

“What dude? Are you gonna ask me to marry you?” You joked with annoyance in your voice.

“I want you to leave your family,” he revealed. You were about to protest… ‘But why would I do that?’ You would have asked, but he spoke before you could. “I want you to work for me. For us… The British Men of Letters.”

* * *

He held his beer bottle in his hand and looked down at the bar. His barstool was extremely uncomfortable but he had to act normal. He noticed a small woman sit close to him, she ordered a drink and spoke in a quiet, British accent. She must have been who was watching them. Dean placed his phone down on the counter in front of him and stared at it. He noticed the woman in the corner of his eye, she was trying to be subtle about the fact that she was watching him.

He continued to watch it like he was waiting for a phone call that would change his life. “Come on, call me back!” He complained loud enough for the woman to here. “Sammy, man, I’ve called you 25 times, call me back,” Dean once again spoke to himself.

He went to pick up the phone to call his brother, but just as he was about to the phone started ringing. He held the phone far away from his eyes like he couldn’t read the screen unless it was at a distance. But really he moved it away so that the woman had a chance to look at it. When she looked over she noticed the name on the screen said, ‘Sammy.’ She knew exactly who Sam was, one of the four Winchester’s that she had to look out for.

* * *

“That’s ridiculous,” you complained. “How could you even ask me something like that? You don’t know me!”

“We know more than you think. We know a lot about you, Y/N. We know about how you grew up with your mother, not your father. We know that as soon as you met him you were forced to become a hunter, then you found out that your mother was dead,” he revealed.

You gasped at his words. “How the hell do you know all of that?” You growled.

“Because that’s what our organisation does. We know things about every hunter in America because we have to be smart,” he revealed. He was getting agitated because you wouldn’t even consider his offer. “We need people like you on our team.”

“No,” you simply said. If only he would have just taken no for an answer.

“Y/N.” He was going to try and persuade you, and you didn’t want to hear it. You had already said no and he had to respect that. But he was an asshole, so you had to scream at him for him to even take in what you were saying.

“I said no, for fuck sake!” You screamed. “No. No. No! Don’t ask me again, you hurt my brother. You let Sam get tortured by your fucking organisation, I will not work with you. The only reason I’m here now is because of my family.”

Ketch seemed to be more angry than before, but his breathing had evened out which, to you, was much more scary. “Fine. That’s fine. You stick with the family that doesn’t love you.”

He was wrong, they did love you. Remember Y/N, you thought, you have to give life one more chance.

* * *

“Sam?” He questioned abruptly. “Sam, where the hell are you? I’ve called you so many times, you haven’t returned any of my-”

“Sir,” a man spoke on the other side of the phone. Dean made sure that his speaker was on even though the phone was next to his ear, just to be sure that the woman next to him could hear the phone call. “This is Agent Wildon. I’m here at the scene of a car accident, this is the phone found in the car.”

“What car? Is it-” he started to speak and his voice was shaking. “Is it a 1967 Chevy Impala?”

“That’s correct, sir,” the man on the other line replied. What this woman had no idea of was that the man on the other line was actually Bobby Singer. They had called him up to ask him for help in tricking these people. Bobby always loved you very much, just like he loved the boys, as if you were his own child. He hadn’t known you as long as he’d known Sam and Dean but he loved you no matter what. You meant a lot to him and if this was going to help your family kill the people that had hurt you at some point in your life, Bobby was more than happy to help. “We’re unable to tell the identity the bodies, but there seems to be two males and one female, two of them around the age of-”

“Wait a second,” Dean interrupted. “Bodies? You mean… They’re dead?” He gulped as he waited for a reply.

“I’m very sorry,” Bobby replied. “They were killed instantly after they collided with a truck on the highway.”

Dean froze and didn’t speak. She had to have been buying this, he heard her gasp a few times, she even pulled out her phone and started typing rapidly. The small woman must have been reporting back to the Brits.

“Sir?” Bobby asked, “are you still there?”

Dean hung up the phone, his mouth wide open and tears streaming from his eyes. He was told to fake cry, but it wasn’t hard for him to cry when he thought about tape 9 and how hurt you must have been. “Are you ok?” She asked in a fake, tacky American accent. He knew she was British because he heard her order her drink, even if she did do it quietly.

He looked at her and closed his mouth before wiping his tears away. “I uh… That was an Agent at a crime scene. He just told me… He told me,” he stuttered with more tears falling down his face. “My whole family are dead.”

“All of them?” She asked unsympathetically. “What were their names? How many were there?”

“Mary was one, she’s my mom. And John, my dad… And my little brother, Sammy,” he told her. He went a little cold even having to pretend that they were dead, but he had to trust Sam. This was going to work out how they wanted it to. “You know, I lost my sister a while ago too. She was only 18.”

“You had a sister?” She asked in surprise. They must have not told her about you, just about them. “What was her name?”

“Y/N,” he smiled as he spoke about you. “She was… God, she was fantastic. And I mean, she really was a great person. She was so, driven, and kind. She had her moments, I mean, come on! She was an 18 year old girl trying to figure stuff out. But over all, she was such a sweet person. When I lost her, I lost a part of me, too,” he told her. This was all true, this wasn’t part of Sam’s plan. “I miss her, so so much. Before she was gone I couldn’t have imagined life without her, now I’m forced to live it and I-” he couldn’t get the words out. “I just.. I don’t-” again, the words were just stuck.

“I’m very sorry,” she said truthfully this time. Tears has begun to surface in her eyes but she didn’t let them fall.

“Living without her is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” he finally said. “She- she killed herself. She was so unhappy with her life that she actually ended it. If she would have just talked to me I would have done whatever it took to fix it. I would have helped her so she could keep on living. Suicide shouldn’t be an option… It should never be an option.”

He had no idea why he was opening up to this woman. Maybe he just had to finally let these words out, regardless of who he was talking to. But as he looked at her, she reminded him a little bit of you. The way she sat and listened to what he had to say. The way she actually felt emotional for him because she didn’t want him to hurt, even though she didn’t really know him. That’s the kind of compassion you had and this world didn’t deserve you, but you deserved the world.

“I’m gonna get going,” he told her. “I uh… Thank you, for talking to me, and listening to me speak about Y/N. I know you don’t know me-”

“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head and smiled. “You take care of yourself.”

Dean walked out of the bar, he cleared the tears from his eyes after opening up about you. He had felt that way for a long time but never told anyone about it. The only reason he did talk to someone was because you never did and it’s what he wanted you to do… He knew that it’s what you would have wanted him to do. You wouldn’t have wanted him to suffer the same way that you had to.

* * *

The car journey seemed prolonged after you screamed at Ketch. You hated the man and weren’t going to act like you were okay with working with him. This was your families decision and you were with them.

Just as you drove up to Johnny’s house, Ketch kept the car moving. “Hey, you missed the house.”

“That’s not his house,” Ketch told you. “Remember? It’s number 130 not 30.”

“Right,” you nodded. I must have got it wrong, you thought.

“Look, I’m sorry about what I said,” Ketch revealed which surprised you. “I didn’t mean to get too angry, I just wanted you to work for us. Maybe one day you can look past what we did to your brother.”

“Whatever,” you scoffed. His apology wasn’t sincere. You knew he was up to something but you had no idea what, maybe he was going to force you to work for them somehow. He might have been apologising so that you would trust him and tell him something that he could blackmail you with later. It wasn’t going to work, no matter what his trick was. He may have been smart, but you were smarter.

“Here we are,” he said as he parked a little down the road from house 130. It was dark outside but the numbers on the houses were visible under the street lights. “You know what you’re doing?”

“Of course I know what I’m doing,” you snapped back as you took your gun out of your pocket. You checked again to see if the witch killing bullets were in place. “He lives alone right? Well, since his wife died.”

“He does, yes,” Ketch told you. “Are you sure you can handle this?” He wasn’t asking to be nice, he was asking to be a smug asshole.

“I’ve handled worse,” you smiled back sinisterly. “Wait for me here, I won’t be long.”

You stepped out of the car and shut the door quietly. If you were in Dean’s car, the door would have been creaking and his engine roaring, probably waking the entire neighbourhood. You had this, all you had to do was get in, kill him and get out. Simple, right?

* * *

Dean walked back to the motel from the bar. It wasn’t too much of a walk, but having the car around could have blown their cover because Dean told the woman that his family were in a car crash. The second he walked through the door he asked Sam what it was that he had to trust him with. Sam ignored his brother, he just continued to type away on his laptop with wide eyes. “Sammy?!” Dean demanded.

“Shh,” Sam replied harshly. Once again his hands were moving quickly while he concentrated on the screen in front of his eyes. “I’ve almost got it.”

“Got what?” Dean asked but was once again ignored. He just waited until Sam was done.

“Yes!” Sam cheered. “I did it, I actually did it.”

“Did what?” It was John is time that demanded an answer.

“Because Dean was on his phone at the same time as the person working for the British Men of Letters, I was able to pick up a signal from her phone and hack into it,” he revealed. “I wasn’t sure if it was going to work but it was all I had.”

“So what can you do now that you’ve hacked it?” Mary questioned from across the table. “And why did Dean have to act like we were dead?”

“I told you guys. I have a plan and you have to trust me,” he said as he started fiddling with the key board. “I can read her text messages and if Dean did it right, it should work out how I’d wanted it to.”

“Who are the texts between?” Dean asked.

“Her and Ketch,” Sam revealed. He turned the screen around so that they could all read the texts between Ketch and the woman, who’s name was revealed as Andrea.

Andrea: I followed Dean to a bar. He was on the phone and found out that his family are dead. That’s Mary, John and Sam. I thought he may have been lying but he cried a lot and talked about his sister, Y/N. Did you know who she was? You never mentioned her.

Mr Ketch: All of them are dead? Are you sure it wasn’t a trick, Andrea? And yes, we knew her. She was trouble, that girl. You don’t have to worry about her, she’s gone now. Good riddance, too.

Andrea: He couldn’t have lied, you didn’t see the look on his face. And I even overheard the person on the other line, it wasn’t him pretending to be on the phone. What do I do now?

Mr Ketch: Stay in the bar. Me and Toni are on our way, then we will find the bodies to dispose of them, and then we will kill Dean Winchester. See you soon.

They all finished reading the texts around the same time. Dean took a step back and steadied his breathing so that he wouldn’t cry again. He didn’t want his family to know that he had a moment of weakness and opened up about you to a complete stranger. He didn’t want them to know that he was hurting, but it was better for them to know rather than him be alone.

“My plan worked,” Sam said as he pulled the screen back to him. “Ketch and Toni will come here alone and look for Dean. They’ll think that he’s alone and vulnerable and easy to take on. That’s when we hit them hard, it’s not exactly finding the whole of the British Men of Letters but it’s a start. It’s what Y/N would have done.”

* * *

You quietly approached the front door and realised it was locked so you headed around the back of the house. Once again, the door was locked. You didn’t know why a man who lived alone, lived in such a large house. You could tell by the amount of windows that it was a three bedroom house. Why did one man need so much room? Maybe it was for his witchy stuff. Maybe, one room was for sleeping, one to keep his potions and ingredients and then the other for actual magic practising.

You stopped wondering and focused your mind back on the task. You had a job to do and you couldn’t allow yourself to get distracted.

The kitchen window was open slightly; you were just about able to slip your hand in and open the latch so you could push the window in fully. Once it was opened, you gripped your hands on to either side and pulled yourself up until you were nicely placed on the kitchen counter.

You climbed down from the kitchen counter and shut the window. You quietly made your way to the front door and unlocked it so that you had a quick escape rout. If Johnny knew you were here and tried to fight you first, the neighbours could easily hear you fighting and call the police. At least with the door unlocked you could just run downstairs, get out and jump into Ketch’s car.

A creaking sound came from the floorboards as you made your way up the stairs. You had to stay as quiet as you could, or he would hear you and it would be harder for you to kill him.

Hunting was such a normal thing to you now. To you it just sounded like killing. Why was killing so natural now? It should never be something normal for a person to do. After all the lives of monsters you had taken, you always wondered where they went afterwards. Hell? Purgatory? Or, did their ghost still linger because they had unfinished business?

A noise suddenly came from the bathroom; once again you were pulled from your thoughts and remembered that you couldn’t keep losing focus while you were on a hunt.

With your gun raised and in position, you carefully stepped towards the bathroom. The noise was a tap running, he must have been brushing his teeth or washing his face. You were quick to kick the door open and see him, standing there in front of you. The bullet flew from your gun and through his head, before you could even realise your mistake. By then… It was already too late.

* * *

Sam, John and Mary all had different places they were going to hide. Two inside the motel, and one outside to watch every movement of Toni and Ketch. John was inside the closet, Mary behind the bathroom door and Sam just outside of the motel, watching from inside of a car he borrowed from Bobby’s shop.

“Before I go-” Sam whispered to Dean as he noticed John and Mary talking about killing Toni and Ketch, “-I just wanted to tell you that I’m here for you, man. I know that you miss her, I do too. You haven’t admitted how much it’s affected you, and it’s okay.”

Dean nodded at his brother. “Same with you, I don’t want either of us to bottle things up so much like Y/N did. I can’t let anyone else hurt themselves the same way that she did, or have the same outcome. And I don’t just mean you,” Dean continued. “I mean, everyone we see everyday. We have no clue what people are going through, if someone had seen Y/N and knew what she was feeling they would have said something, you know? They would have, I don’t know, at least tried to convince her to not do it. They would prove to her how worth it life is. I want to show that to as many people as I can, but I don’t know how.”

Sam gave Dean a reassuring smile. “We’ll do the best that we can.”

“It’s not enough,” Dean replied. “It’s not enough, it isn’t. I don’t want anyone to kill themselves… I never want anyone to do that.”

“Neither do I,” Sam agreed. “And if we can save at least one person, that’ll be good enough. It’s what Y/N would have wanted. She’d be proud of us, you know? I’m sure of it… She would have wanted to do the same thing. We know the signs now, because before we didn’t pay attention to Y/N’s signs,” he admitted. Dean sighed but he knew his brother was telling the truth. “I know that you want her back, Dean. I know that you wish we could go back and stop her from doing it, and I’m sorry. I wish we could, too… But it’s too late. All we can do now is learn from it.”

“You should probably go and watch from the car,” Dean told him as he wiped a single tear away from his cheek. “They’ll be here soon.”

He couldn’t stand to talk about it anymore. He had never really thought about how much pain it can cause people when a person commits suicide. Dean had lost a lot of people in his life, but this felt different. You went because you wanted to and it physically pained him in the chest. It was as if he could really feel his heart breaking.

Dean watched from behind the closed door to see when Toni and Ketch showed up. He was covered in the parking lot and inside the motel so it should go okay… At least that’s what he had hoped.

* * *

Maybe you were mistaken. Maybe Johnny had died his hair from bright blond to dark brown. Maybe he had changed his eye colour and gotten those three, fading tattoos. Oh, how naïve could you be. It was obvious what had happened here, Ketch did this on purpose. He made you kill an innocent man.

You were right, Johnny lived at house number 30, not 130. How could you have been fooled? Also, why? Why would Ketch do this?

The only thing that could have made this worse happened. There was a noise from another door. You looked up to see a small boy standing there, he couldn’t see his dead father inside the bathroom. “Who are you?”

“What’s going on out here, babe?” A tired woman asked her husband. But he would never reply again, he would never answer again. He would never hold his child or his wife, not ever again. Then she saw you, and she saw her son. She panicked. She grabbed her son and held him close, the tiredness of her body leaving in seconds. “Take whatever you want, please don’t hurt us!” She begged as she noticed your gun.

“No, no you don’t understand!” You cried, hot tears streaming down your face. “I- I’m an agent. I was sent here… I was sent to the wrong house!” You cried as you tried to explain, and the woman saw the blood flooding the floor under your feet. “I’m so sorry,” was all you could say before you ran away and heard her scream her husbands name. Nathan, that was his name. Nathan, the poor man, would never see the light of day again. He was gone, and it was because of you.

You killed him… You hurt his wife like John had hurt you. You hurt his son just like Crowley had hurt you. You damaged them just like everyone that you had ever met had done to you but this time you weren’t the one that was broken. You were the one who destroyed, and that was when you knew that it was too late to save yourself. You knew what you had to do in order to stop people from getting hurt, but you needed to leave something behind to tell people why. If you were going to be gone it was time that everyone knew the truth.

* * *

It didn’t take long for Ketch and Toni to arrive. Sam watched intently from the car, his gun was lined up with Ketch’s head incase he tried to make a move to hurt Dean. They weren’t sure what they would do, they didn’t know if they would break in and try to kill Dean instantly or surprise him by going through the window.

They knocked at the door, and Dean opened it quickly as if he had no idea who it was. He stared at them, Ketch’s face looked very punchable, and Toni’s wasn’t too far from it either. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Dean growled.

“We’re here to talk about Y/N,” Ketch told him. “May we?” He asked as he gestured to walking into the motel room.

Dean let them, he actually let them. “Dean, what the hell are you doing?” Sam whispered to himself from the car. He wouldn’t be able to shoot them now, he would have to depend on John and Mary to shoot from inside.

“Are you really here about Y/N?” Dean asked. “Or are you here about my whole family being dead?”

“You don’t think we believed that for a second, do you?” Toni asked with laughter in her voice. What a bitch, what a god awful woman. “Andrea may be stupid, but we’ve been trained for years, Dean. We’re guessing you thought you could draw us out here and kill us. We saw Sam in the car.”

Dean sighed at her words, which resulted in Mary and John walking out and pointing their guns towards Ketch and Toni. “Now, we didn’t come here to kill you,” Ketch said, “we really did come here to talk about Y/N.”

“Y/N hated you,” Dean growled. “After what you did to her, Ketch.”

“It wasn’t just him, it was the whole organisation. We sent her out on that hunt to kill that witch,” Toni snapped.

“You didn’t tell her, did you?” Dean asked as he stepped forward. Don’t do it Dean, Mary thought, you’re just going to get yourself killed. “You were too scared of your tape because you didn’t want your organisation to find out about what you did to Y/N.”

“That’s why I’m here to talk about Y/N,” Ketch admitted. “I want that tape destroyed, Dean.”

“Tape? What tape?” Toni demanded. “What do these tapes have to do with Y/N? I thought we were here to kill the Winchesters.”

“Why did you bring her if you don’t want anyone to know about the tapes?” Mary questioned. “If she finds out she’ll tell the rest of them.”

“Hm,” Ketch nodded with a smile. “I guess you’re right, she will snitch on me, won’t she? I guess I’ll have to stop her myself.” Insanity took over Ketch, these tapes ruined him almost as much as they had ruined Dean and he didn’t even know you that well. He pulled out his gun and shot Toni in the head like it was nothing.

* * *

Her screams were so loud, they were heard all over the neighbourhood. As soon as that door was flung open, you raced to Ketch’s car, but before you could climb in he started driving off. “Hey, no no no!” You cried. “Hey!” You screamed violently. “Come back!”

You were running out of time. The only option now was to run back through the house and climb out of the kitchen window. As much as it killed you to think, you knew that the woman was too scared of you to try and stop you from escaping. All she wanted to was protect her son from the monster that had broken into their house and killed her husband.

You jumped through the bushes in her back garden and made your way to a familiar road, it was where you and Ketch had drove down when you were on your way to the house. That’s when you saw his car coming towards you at full speed. You were beyond caring now; you stepped in front of his car. Ketch slammed his foot against the brakes, his car was a centimetre away from you. Once he was pulled over you opened the passenger door and climbed in. Ketch didn’t look at you, he just continued to speed down the road and away from the house with you sat next to him.

Your door slammed and made you jump as he began to drive. “Ketch,” you sobbed angrily. “Ketch, tell me I didn’t just do what I think I did.”

“I was testing you,” he admitted as if it was nothing. He really was a cold hearted man, that was if he even had a heart. “You’re not as strong as I thought you were when it comes to the mistake of killing an innocent person, it needed to be-”

“What the fuck were you thinking?” You screamed so loud that other people would probably come out of their houses, too. “That was not a fucking joke, you asshole! A man is dead. He had a son and a wife, he had a family you fucking piece of shit!”

“These things happen.”

“It wasn’t an accident, Ketch!” You fumed. Once you were out of the neighbourhood and hidden in a parking lot of some diner, you slammed his head against the dashboard. Again, and again, and again. “You asshole! You. Asshole.” You repeated before pulling his head up by gripping his hair. “You wait until I tell my brothers,” you growled. “They’ll kill you if I don’t get there first! Your organisation will go under the fucking ground!”

“They don’t know about it,” he told you calmly as he held his nose to stop the blood from pouring out of it. “The Brits don’t know and they can never know, and neither can your family.”

“And what makes you think that I won’t tell them?!” You spat. You had never met someone like this, even Crowley had more compassion than this man and he was the King of Hell!

“Because they’ll know what you did and hate you even more,” he told you as his cold eyes looked into yours. You were about to protest about how wrong he was but he continued to explain himself. “We know things, we know how your father abandoned you and that your brothers hated you because of how you reacted to some situations. Claire told Mick things when they met, and he told us everything she knows. Do you really think they’re going to want to stick around for someone who was stupid enough to kill someone before even checking if they were innocent?”

His words broke your heart into a thousand pieces. He was right, fuck, he was right. How could someone so cruel speak words that were so true? They would never want you if they knew about this… They would never want you or need you. It was over for you, there was no point in adding to the disappointment that your family already felt towards you. So you had to lie, you and Ketch. On your way back to their base, you came up with your lie that you would tell everyone.

* * *

Toni didn’t move. She was still and not breathing. The blood poured from her head and on to the dirty motel carpet. “She was an asset. She decided to tag along and I let her, but I can never let her know what I did. This isn’t even an official job, they didn’t send me here and they have no idea that Toni and I have been tracking you all.”

“You hurt Y/N,” Dean growled as he got even closer to Ketch than before. Dean didn’t have a gun or any kind of weapon but he didn’t care, he just wanted to tell Ketch exactly how he felt about what he’d done to you. “You let her kill an innocent man. And come on, he had a wife and a kid! I know you were a dick, but this is a whole new level of evil. The way she spoke about you on the tape is different from how she spoke about everyone else. She was considering giving life another chance, and you ruined that.”

“She had already made the decision to take her life, whether she told herself that she was going to give life one last shot or not,” Ketch replied as he took a step back in fear. “Someone was going to do something to upset her… If it wasn’t me then there are four more tapes after me, yours included. Now, Y/N never trusted me. But you, she loved you. She trusted you and put her faith into you and what did you do? You know what you did, you’re just too scared to let it in. You’re too scared to accept that what you did was worse than what I did because she loved you and she didn’t love me.”

Don’t believe what he’s saying, Dean thought. What Ketch was saying felt true to Dean, but accepting that would be like accepting your death. It wasn’t fair.

He couldn’t control his actions. Anger took over his body as he stepped forward and wrapped his hands around Ketch’s neck. Ketch dropped the gun he had in his hand and tried to move Dean’s hands away but he simply couldn’t… Dean was too strong. “Dean, let him go,” John said warily. They had planned on just shooting him and getting it over with, but Dean made it personal. Hell, it was fucking personal. Ketch had never seen as much anger as he did in Dean’s eyes as he watched the life leave the helpless man’s body.

“You are gonna fucking rot for what you did, just like all the rest of them,” Dean growled before squeezing so tight that Ketch’s neck snapped. With that one harsh squeeze, Ketch died instantly and dropped to the floor. Dean didn’t look back at his worried mother and father, he just stared at the motel door before whispering so that they both heard him say, “let’s go home.”

It wasn’t an angry whisper like they had expected, his response was filled with pain and sadness. As much as he had hoped that turning his hurt into anger would help, it only made him feel worse.

* * *

You told them all the lie and they bought it. Everyone, including your family, really believed that you and Ketch had killed the witch successfully. That’s how you explained his nose bleed, the witch was aware that you were in his house or some bullshit. You didn’t really listen, you were too focused on what you had done and what you were planning on doing to stop yourself from hurting anyone else.

You were in the car going home with your brothers, John and Mary were once again in the other car which left you just with your brothers in the Impala.

It was completely silent up until you were around half away home. “Hey, Dean. You know you said I could have some of those tapes?”

“Yeah, kiddo?” He questioned.

“Exactly how many blank tapes do you have? I want to take them all if that’s okay.”

You had already made your decision of how you were going to leave the truth with people. You were going to make tapes to tell the story of everyone person that had hurt you in the last year. There were so many so you probably wouldn’t have been able to add every single one. So you decided that you would just chose the worst ones for the amount of tapes that Dean could give you. That would be your legacy.

“Sure, you can have all of the blank ones,” Dean nodded with a smile. “There are thirteen.”

///

Tags~ @eileenlikesyou-maybe@ryuumaru-chan @tinkerbellafan @amandamaesweetheart@sonia-a@notmoose45@fanboyswhereare-you@missprophet@thehalfdoctor@theoutlinez@little-castiel13@fangirlextraordinaire@xxxampersquidspacexxx@x-lizzzzzzzzx@notyourpieceofcake1@thewolfgirluniverse@hereforpie@jesspfly@thedevilinthedetails@awkwardemollama@itsssmichelleee@bree1413@sukanya99 @manyfandoms-marvel @weavingdeath@nerdysandwichqueen@princesssquiller @geekycatlover

Dark Nights (Part 7)

Originally posted by super100012

Summary: Dean comforts the reader after she becomes a fugitive but his act leads to something far more important…

Dark Nights Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 3,500ish

Warnings: language, smut

A/N: These two, oh these two…


Keep reading

An observation.

So i was rewatching 5x10 when Jo and Ellen die and we all know how much Dean was fucked up by Jo dying. But when the building exploded Dean looked very visibly heartbroken. But he was able to walk away with Sam because there was a bigger problem (Satan) that they needed to deal with right. He was still responsive. And yet with Cas dying in 12x23 there was kinda a bigger problem (Satan Baby) and he couldn’t he dropped to his knees. He wasn’t responsive. We all know how much Dean cared about Jo everyone shipped them if she didn’t die maybe they could’ve been together with the closest to happy they could get and yet Cas’ death effected him worse even if “destiel isn’t real” it just shows how much Cas means to Dean and it made me a sad. Too many feels happening at once.

anonymous asked:

you should definitely talk about size differential!kink bc absolutely same

I mean, okay anon, TWIST MY ARM why don’t you.

Let’s talk about–

That first time, when Sam’s eighteen and hitting that second-to-last growth spurt, still mostly skinny because he doesn’t eat enough but that doesn’t seem to be stopping him–he just goes up and up, and Dean’s buying him new jeans again and Sam tries them on in the grody Goodwill dressing room and comes out and Dean thinks, what the hell. Sammy’s long long legs in jeans that fit, for the most part, though his shirt’s too short and pulling when he stretches so that line of bare stomach peeks out. He comes up to Dean’s side and Dean’s conscious for the first time of looking up and there’s a moment where his stomach goes weird and hot. Oh.

Or–

Dean doesn’t like being shoved around. Has enough of that out in the field, and he’s been thrown into enough walls for a lifetime. And–it’s not that Sam shoves him around. That’s not it. But–sometimes, if it’s been a long day and they’re tired, and Sam gets that kind of intense look around the eyes, sometimes then, Dean will find himself caught up by the hips and–urged, maybe is the word for it, pushed step by step back until his shoulders are up against the motel-room wall, and even if he’s standing up straight Sammy’s standing up straighter, looming, his shoulders blocking out the lamplight, having to bend his head to look into Dean’s eyes, and that, that Dean doesn’t mind, so much.

Or–or after, sometimes, when they’re older, Dean broadens out a lot more, takes up lifting in the bunker, and he likes the look it gives him. His shoulders look good. Except–Sam’s bigger, still. Sam’s always bigger. Puts on muscle like it’s nothing and he’s still got those long, long legs, and Dean still doesn’t think of himself like a fainting damsel or anything, but it does something to him if Sam gets all worked up into a mood and yanks him in close and picks him up, being showy, using his strength like he usually doesn’t. It yanks at the pit of Dean’s stomach, lights him up like nothing else, and he pretty much goes liquid, lets Sam lay him out and do whatever he wants, then. They have good sex, fun sex, and they each have their little kinks and foibles, and he’ll maybe never be over how Sam likes his hair pulled, or how he likes to get tied up, sometimes. Sometimes, though, what Dean wants is exactly this, and he doesn’t really know how to ask for it, because how do you ask that? Sammy, he could say, I like that you–that you’re tall. That you’re bigger than me. He’d get no end of shit for that. Still. Doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy it. Doesn’t mean that, when Sam gets into a mood, he can’t go onto his back on their bed, let Sam loom over him with those shoulders, his body just… bigger, his legs longer and his hands huge as they trap Dean’s against the bed. Doesn’t mean he can’t go light-headed crazy with watching Sammy’s bigger dick slide up against his, can’t cup his bigger balls and love the way they feel, the way they weigh heavy against his own lighter skin. When Sam flips him on his stomach and he spreads out, gasping, he can love how Sam pushes up inside, big and inescapable, weight crushing Dean down into the mattress, and watch Sam’s hand twine with his, longer fingers and bigger palm, and love how Sam’s big enough that he blocks out everything else, his arms braced around Dean’s head, his long long thighs bracketing Dean’s, so that Dean’s left feeling–small. Caged, cradled, pinned. He doesn’t say a thing about it, doesn’t ask. Doesn’t have to. It’s just–a fact. Sam’s bigger than him. 

(Thing is–Sam knows it, too.)

Imagine Dean being jealous when you have a date and failing in hiding it.

“Will you just stop that?” Sam’s voice laced with annoyance broke the silence that had surrounded the three of them. Well, almost silence if we could exclude Dean’s constant foot taping.

“Stop what?” Dean asked in a gruff voice and the only thing Sam did was give him a bitch face.

“You know what.” Sam huffed “That!” he pointed at him and that wa the only moment Dean realized what he was actually doing, a deep frown was still set on his face but much to Sam’s liking he stopped tapping his foot.

“Why does it bother you in the first place?” Dean huffed like a little child, crossing his arms over his chest with almost a small pout; making his mother grin softly.

“I don’t know- why does it bother you that (Y/n)’s going on a date?” Sam asked back sassily and Dean glared hard at his younger brother. No sooner had he said the words that Dean’s foot resumed to the tapping impatiently, making Sam only roll his eyes.

“What does that even mean now?” Dean asked defensively but Sam didn’t respond, he only rolled his eyes. He hadn’t gotten his brother to confess how he felt about you when he was calm, much less now that jealousy clouded his vision.

Dean pursed his lips as his eyes moved uneasily around the room, every two seconds glancing in the direction he expected you to show up. He huffed and shuffled in his place all the time.

“Seriously Dean!” Sam exclaimed, shutting his book closed “Enough alright!?”

“What’s up with you?” Dean gave him a look “Why are you so on edge today?”

“Me? I am on edge!?” Sam rolled his eyes in disbelief “Dude are you kidding me?! You haven’t stopped moving and huffing and puffing all the time! You’re so jealous but won’t even admit it!”

“Wh-what?!” he squeaked out, making Mary giggle at the expression he had on his face “I’m- I’m not jealous!” his voice rose an octave and Mary had to bite her lip to keep herself from straight forward laughing right in his face.

“Dean, sweetie-” she started, her too having realized long ago how much her son was bothered by this date of yours only because it didn’t involve him but another man.

“What?! Mom no!” he exclaimed, shaking his head “I’m- I’m not jealous ok? Stop it!” his voice got gruff and he shook his head, not looking at them as his face had started getting all the more red “I’m not jealous.” he grumbled like a little stubborn kid.

“Are you trying to convince us or yourself?” Sam asked with a small smirk and Dean glared hard at his brother, crumbling a piece of paper and throwing it at him.

“Hey kids! Easy!” Mary got stern for a moment.

“Not my fault he’s being a bitch!” Dean exclaimed “I didn’t even bother him and he-”

“Didn’t even what? Dude you’ve been tapping your foot impatiently for like that past one hour! I couldn’t read a fucking sentence or Chuck’s sake!” Sam threw his arms in the air “If you are so bothered by her being with someone else then tell her so!”

“I’m not fucking bothered Sam!”

“Really?” Sam raised his eyebrows “Because last time you saw the guy you almost pulled a gun on him.”

“Well, it’s not my fault he was walking in the darkness like some thief. Besides, what could he be doing here at such a time of the night?”

“I don’t know, probably spend the night with his girlfriend or something? You’re a grown man, Dean, you know how it goes.” Sam said with a smirk that only got bigger once he saw Dean’s anger rise.

“Shut up.” he growled, not really angry at him but at the man that lately had taken the empty place in your bed he usually liked to occupy when using your friendship and movie-nights as an excuse.

“Alright- that’s enough.” Mary pursed her lips “Dean-” she turned to her oldest son, giving him a soft smile “There’s nothing wrong with that, you know it right?”

“Damn it mom-” he rolled his eyes “I told you I’m not jealous!”

“Of course you’re not, just like you have no reason to be upset in the first place because you and (Y/n) are only friends. Aren’t you Dean?” Sam asked, the I-told-you-so look written all over his face.

“Shut up.” Dean grumbled, not looking at his brother. He knew that Sam was right but it wasn’t that which bothered him-but the words that were a fact. You were only friends, sure best friends and had a kind of bond that could not be described, but despite everything he couldn’t tell you who to date or not. He didn’t have a say in your love life, much to his disappointment.

“Right, of course you wouldn’t answer that.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Will you stop it?” he asked in a low voice, more serious now and finally looking at him.

“Dean” Mary spoke more softly, not teasing Dean the way the younger Winchester was “If you really are bothered by this-then why don’t you do something to change it?”

“What do you mean?” he frowned and she smiled at him. She had not been around for as long as Sam had, or you and Cas for that matter but from the very first moments- hell, from the moment he saw you and Dean interact when he came to the bunker she was absolutely sure about one thing that came to her older son: he was utterly and hopelessly in love with you.

But that didn’t mean it was easy. She knew that as much as Dean loved you he was still willing to sacrifice everything, including his happiness, to make sure you were alright and out of harm’s way. It seemed to be a Winchester thing, reminding Mary so much of her own husband. And as that he was now willing to stand by and let you be with another man only because he wasn’t a hunter and could offer you a better – according to him – life, even if in the meanwhile his jealousy would eat him alive.

“You know very well what I mean Dean.” she shook her head softly “Maybe she is oblivious to what is going on but- you can’t fool me. I know you like the back of my hand and this- it’s hurting you, Dean. More than it’s making you jealous.”

“I’m not jealous mom.” Dean huffed and Sam scoffed loudly.

“That’s what he calls being annoyed even by the guy’s name. Not jealous.”

“I don’t get annoyed at the mere mention of his name!” Dean defended.

“Really? Because I think I remember someone that looked an awful lot like you sitting in that very same place saying ‘Shannon? Seriously where did she find that guy? And that name? Hell, Shannon and a drummer? I can only imagine what a douche he can be! Tattoos everywhere, rolling through town no strings attached dude!’ Unless of course it was ashapeshifter and I didn’t realize it.” Sam said matter-of-factly with a smirk mocking him by repeating what Dean had said just three months ago, and Dean growled, rolling his eyes.

“Point is-” Mary intervened, giving a stern look to the younger Winchester “If you don’t like this then- you can change it. Just talk to (Y/n), tell her everything. And above all what you feel, trust me you’re not going to regret it. Come on Dean, don’t let her go out tonight. Talk to her, tell her everything Dean.”

Dean opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t have the chance to as you walked in and interrupted them “So?” you asked with a nervous smile and the moment Dean took a look at you he felt all air get knocked out of his lungs.

“What do you think?” you fidgeted nervously with your hands as they all took a look at you. You hadn’t done anything special, simple make up, simple hairstyle and a pretty floral dress on giving all kinds of summer vibes as it left your arms and legs on full display. It wasn’t something you usually went for and not something he was used to seeing you in but god was it a pleasant surprise and change.

Sadly it wasn’t for him.

“You’re… wow.” Dean breathed out and felt his heart leap to his throat once he saw your smile widen and your eyes sparkle with happiness.

“You look amazing (Y/n).” Sam said sweetly.

“Really?” you breathed out “I mean it’s not something I really wear but-” you bit your lip “I just wanted to give it a try and… yeah.” you laughed nervously and before he could realize it Dean was up on his feet and walking to you.

“Sweetheart-” he cupped your face with both his hands “You’re stunning.” he whispered with adoration written all over his face “He- He’s the luckiest man on Earth to be with a woman like you.”

“You think so?” you smiled but still frowned at the expression on his face.

“Absolutely”

And although he had plenty of time to speak, he didn’t. He didn’t say anything, instead only watched as he came and picked you up and tried to force a smile on his face. He tried to be happy for you but despite his jealousy there was still something else in his chest holding him back. Pure pain.

All Is Fair in Love and War

                                     *pictures and gifs are not mine*

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean

Author: @oppsiwrotemorefanfic

Summary/Request: @geek-girl-67 Oh could you do one where sam dean and the reader are in the middle of a prank war, and dean knows sam and the reader like each other, so while the reader is trying to pull a prank on sam in his room or something, dean handcuffs the reader to bed frame runs out the room urgently calls sam then shoves him in locks the door and obnoxiously yells out that they aren’t getting out until they confess their love or whatever and it all builds up to them having sex and Dom!sam coming out to play. 

Word Count: 2227

Warnings: Smut, Cursing, Dom!Sam, a little fluff

*I’ve never written smut before so this was an interesting challenge. Sorry it got so long, I just got really into the story. Feedback is welcome!*

Keep reading

I Trust Her

Word Count: 3,803

Summary: Castiel asks you to go back in time to visit some familiar faces. Will knowing who you are change everything? 

A/N: I really hope you like this one! It’s something I’ve been wanting to write for a really long time. Feedback is always appreciated, drop a message my way! And a big shout out to @thefangirllifeismine for always reading over my writing and making sure you will all love it! 

Song: Flashlight - Jessie J 

The waitress eyed the two of you warily, deciding if she should approach and interrupt the conversation with fresh coffee, or leave you be.

“Why now?” You asked quietly, fingers finding the edge of your napkin.

He sighed heavily, “There’s a lot going on in their life.”

You looked up at him, noticing that the wrinkles around his eyes weren’t there on his younger vessel. He had a stronger jaw and brighter eyes.

“Cas…” You trailed off, but you already knew that you wouldn’t say no. His big blue eyes were begging you.

“They don’t know who you are, do not worry. If anything happens, pray to me and I will take you back to this time.” He reasoned with you and you nodded.

“Alright.” You agreed and he gave you a small smile. You left the diner after dropping a twenty on the table, and walked around back.

“Are you ready?” He asked, his hand already raising.

“Do it.” You shut your eyes and felt his fingers press to your forehead. The warmth only lasted for a second until you were whisked away, insides turning.

Once you opened your eyes, all you saw was green grass for miles. God, it smelled the same. Like dew and summer’s sweat. Walking, you searched for the familiar door. It felt odd having to knock, but you did nonetheless. When a few minutes had passed, you knocked again, louder this time.

“Who are you?” A face you knew as well as your own spoke.

“A hunter.” You stated, and the gun he was holding nearly lowered. “You’re Sam Winchester, right?”

He furrowed his brows and clenched his jaw. “If you’re a hunter then you know I’ve got to test you.”

“Bring it on.” You said with a smile, and he nearly smiled himself. With his gun still half-cocked, he moved over to allow you inside the bunker.

“What’s your name?” He asked, “And how do you know about this place?”

You walked down the stairs slowly, taking in the looks of the place.

“Y/N. I’ve heard about it from someone, and I got lost in the area.” You explained, “So, I figured you would help a fellow hunter out.”

He nodded, taking in what you were saying, before pulling out a silver blade. You exhaled deeply and grabbed it, pressing the cool metal flush against your skin.

He tilted his head and began unscrewing a flask, and suddenly you were drenched.

“Overkill, much?” You spit out some water.

“Had to be sure.” He shrugged.

You followed him through the war room, the library, then finally down the steps into kitchen. When you made yourself comfortable on the stool by the island counter, he finally gave you a glass of water.

“So, what exactly are you hunting here?” He asked. “We would’ve known-”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” You cut Sam off, “It was a complete wild goose chase. Turns out, what looked like omens, were actually just nature this time.” Bullshit poured out from between your lips so well you were nearly proud of yourself.

“Sammy!” A familiar voice shouted and then you heard footsteps come nearer. When he came inside, immediately his eyes were on you.

“Who the hell is this?” He asked, senses rising.

“I’m Y/N.” You smiled, “A hunter who got herself in a bit of a mess.”

He looked at his brother, as if to make sure you weren’t lying.

“I tested her, Dean. She’s clean.” Sam motioned towards the blade and flask which lay astray on the table.

He raised his chin and crossed his arms. You hadn’t noticed that you were staring at him. He was so amazingly young. His forehead was clear of the thick scar you were so used to, and his eyes were brighter; there was so much more hope lying underneath that familiar green.

Dean turned and opened the fridge while Sam began discussing different cases with you. You told him of the ones you had been on, and listened as he told you about the latest ones they had both solved. What distracted you though, was the giant burger that Dean began to grill.

When he saw you eyeing it, he motioned to make you another one. You nodded hungrily.

Despite just having eaten with Cas, you discovered that time travel makes you extremely hungry.

“I like her.” Dean raised his brows, eliciting a laugh from you. Sam rolled his eyes and continued on with his story of the werewolf he and Dean had found by accident.

“We were actually going to check out a case today. We could use some extra hands.” Dean stated as he plated the two burgers.

“Really? I wouldn’t be imposing?” You asked, some part of you excited to finally be able to see how they hunted when they were younger.

“How good of a shot are you?”

You gave a cocky smile, proud of your skills. “Bullseye every time.”

“Then, you’re hired!” He joked and took a bite of his burger. You followed suit, nearly moaning at the taste. You’ve had practically every burger out there, but nothing beat this one.

You and Dean both lifted up the top of the bun and re-adjusted the toppings before popping a pickle from on top into your mouth, while Sam watched, completely bemused. When you and Dean both reached for the same soda bottle, he nearly choked.

“You could be twins.” Sam observed.

– – – –

“So,” Dean asked from the driver’s seat of the car. “How’d you get into this life?”

You shrugged, “Kinda just… grew up in it.”

Dean reached for the knob and lowered the music, “How old are you, anyhow?” He looked at you through the rear-view mirror, suddenly aware you couldn’t be anywhere near their age.

“Twenty-two.”

Dean glanced at his brother who asked, “And you’re hunting?”

“Weren’t you the same age when you started hunting?” You asked, not realizing what you had let slip.

“I mean- How did you-” Sam began to speak when you cut him off, salvaging what was left of this conversation.

“You’re famous hunters, of course you’ve been hunting since the same age as me.” You said quickly.

Sam nodded, but you could tell he knew something was off.

“Let’s go over the plan one more time.” He decided to re-explain exactly how the afternoon would go.

In response, Dean made the music louder, cutting off anything Sam was about to say.

“Really?” His younger brother stared at him.

“You told us a hundred times, Sammy!” Dean exclaimed. We go in, find the vamps, and kill ‘em.”

You chuckled into your water bottle, taking another long drag of it.

It was another two hours until Dean finally drove the Impala into the parking lot of a motel. You watched the two of them joke around while they took their things out of the trunk, and wondered why Castiel was begging you to go back in time for them. They seemed perfectly fine. Either way, what could *you* do for them?

“Y/N?” Sam asked, snapping your attention towards him. “Where’s all your stuff?”

“My duffel is back at the motel I was staying at.” You lied, “Doesn’t matter, all I need is this-” You explained and pulled a gun out of the back of your jeans. When both brothers stared at it as if it were alien, you regretted it immediately.

“Huh.” Dean stated, taking his gun out and holding it up to yours. They were identical except for a few added scratches on your own.

The customized detailing that Dean got on the chrome plating of his gun made him narrow his eyes at your weapon, which held the same exact design.

“Must’ve been the same guy detailing it.” You shrugged and shoved it back in your jeans as quickly as you could.

“Must have been.” Dean stared at you. You could practically see the gears turning in his head.

Sam walked inside and began making room arrangements with the motel manager. You followed him inside and felt Dean’s gaze burning into the back of your skull as you walked.

“Here.” Sam passed you a set of keys. “You’re in the room right across from ours.”

“Thanks.” You smiled and gripped the keys, following him and Dean down the hall.

Sam began unlocking his door, “Meet in the lobby in an hour?” He asked.

“Sounds good.” You agreed and stared up at you door number. 17C was hammered into the wood. When you finally locked the door behind yourself, you pressed your back against it and shut your eyes.

“Fuck.” You whispered, tossing your keys onto the table. You should have never come here. They were already suspicious of you, and the gun had to have been the final straw. What the hell did Castiel need you for anywhow? The brothers always had issues. What would your presence help with?

You walked into the bathroom and began running the shower water.

– – – –

“You’re telling me that’s not weird?” Sam asked, tossing his duffel bag onto the bed.

“No, it’s weird alright.” Dean was still gripping his gun, passing it between his hands. “I just…”

Sam crossed his arms, “Just what, Dean? Are you telling me you still trust her?”

“You’re the one who told me she was clean!” He shouted back. “And yeah.” He sighed. “I still… I still trust her.”

Sam tilted his head and let out an exasperated sigh, “You trust her?”

“Yeah, Sammy. I don’t know why, just a- just a gut feeling.” He placed the gun down on the table and began stripping out from his flannel.

Sam kept his eyes trained on his brother. “So what? We just go on a hunt with this girl we just met?”

“Pretty much.” Dean pulled on a fresh t-shirt.

“Dean.”

“What?”

“She knows things about us. She knew about the bunker, for one thing. Somehow she knew how old I was when we went looking for Dad- I mean! Seriously.” Sam began to question everything you had told them, “No one just stumbles upon our bunker.”

“I trust her.” Dean stated again.

– – – –

“Ready?” Dean pressed a machete into your palm.

You nodded then looked over at Sam, who had remained quiet for the entire car ride.

“Then let’s go.” Dean motioned to move forward into the house.

When you entered the house, all you saw was darkness. Sam found a light switch and flicked it on, but it only turned on one light bulb. You noticed the other three were shattered on the ground.

“What the hell?” You whispered. The three of you looked at one another. The vampires should have already sensed you and begun to attack, but it was silent.

“Are you sure this is the right house?” Dean asked Sam, who nodded.

You gripped your blade tighter. “Let’s go downstairs.”

Sam gripped the doorknob and swung open the door. You followed closely behind him.

Dean was about to go down the stairs as well when he was knocked down to the floor with a crash. As you and Sam scrambled to get back upstairs, the basement door was slammed shut and you were left banging on it.

“Fuck!” You shouted. Dean yelled out in pain and then you heard another crash.

“Let me try.” Sam got in front of you and began to throw his weight against the door, but something was blocking it.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a flashlight before shining it around the basement.

“Find something to knock this thing down.” He passed you the flashlight and you went to work. At the bottom of the stairs there was a table with a few tools and a crowbar. You grabbed it and tossed it up to Sam who tried breaking the door down with it.

“Come on, come on!” You begged. Sam glanced at you. He was trying to understand why you were so upset over a man you had just met.

“Please, Sam.” You begged, swallowing down the sob that threatened to leave your throat. “He can’t get hurt!”

He turned to you, chest heaving. Grunting and shouting could be heard on the other side, it was messing with your head. He took the flashlight from your hands and shone it in your direction so he could see you better.

“I don’t think they’re going to let us up anytime soon.” He stated the obvious. But there was nothing else to do about it.

“Please!” You banged your fist against the door one more time. Your body was shaking as you realized that it was your suggestion to go down here in the first place, and now Dean was getting hurt on the other side of this door.

“You need to calm down!” Sam shouted, trying to ground the situation as much as possible.

“How can I possibly calm down when my dad is on the other side of that door?!” You shouted, fists hitting the wood until it began to splinter.

Sam swallowed thickly, “W-What?” He managed to exhale.

“That’s my dad out there.” You steadied your breath before wiping away another stray tear. When his eyes met your green ones, his lips parted. He hadn’t paid closer attention earlier to see that he was looking into his brother’s eyes.

“Okay.” Sam seemed to reassure himself more than you, “Okay.”

He passed you the flashlight, and you were relieved by his sudden calm. He grabbed his gun from his jeans and began shooting at the door knob. It took four shots, but you finally heard something drop to the floor. Whoever was blocking the door jumped back from the sound and Sam was able to push it open.

Immediately, you were thrown into action. A vamp tackled you from the side and you raised your knee, landing a swift kick to the gut. He grabbed your throat and began tightening his grip when Sam kicked him off, allowing you to roll on top and slice his head clean off.

You caught your breath and began to look for your dad.

“Dean!” You shouted, but no response came.

“Let’s go.” Sam gripped your hand and pulled, and you ran behind him.

When you finally got outside he began to speak.

“I saw them taking him into the storm cellar before I got jumped.” He explained. You nodded and exhaled.

“Then why aren’t we moving?” You asked, looking up at your uncle.

He was staring at you, not noticing that he hadn’t replied yet.

“Sam?” You waved your hand in front of him.

“You look just like him. Why didn’t we-” Shock was taking over the rational part of his brain which would tell him to get to Dean first.

“Uncle Sam!” You shouted over his voice. “We gotta move.”

He agreed and led you to the cellar. “I’m going in. Wait out here.”

“Hell no!” You shouted, gripping the handle that opens the cellar.

“I can’t let you get hurt!”

“Two minutes ago you didn’t know who I was!”

He clenched his jaw as he realized he wouldn’t win this fight.

“Stay behind me.” He commanded.

When you finally dropped down into it, the first thing you saw was your father tied up to a chair with a vampire holding a blade to his neck.

Sam stepped back, reaching out his arm to hold you back as well.

“Winchesters.” The vampire smiled, “You must have the best blood out there.”

“Let him go.” Sam stated, machete ready to go in his other hand.

Dean’s mouth was gagged but his eyes were trained on the both of you.

You had never seen him in such a weak position and frankly, it scared the living shit out of you.

“Why would we let a Winchester get away?” He laughed and it made your stomach churn.

“Because I’m going to kill you.” You pushed out of Sam’s hold and towards the monster.

“Y/N!” Sam shouted but you were already too far gone. You slashed at the vamp but he sidestepped and landed a punch to your side.

“Son of a bitch!” You shouted.

Before you could attack him again, Sam was already on it.

“Get Dean!” He shouted and you listened, dropping down to your knees to begin untying him.

“Are you alright?” You asked, pulling the gag from out of his mouth.

“Peachy.” He muttered and began trying to wriggle his ankles out from the rope. You grabbed your blade and sliced at it until the knots gave out and the rope fell loose at his feet.

“Thanks.” He gave a half smile and stood up, only to come crashing back down and into your arms.

“Come on.” You heaved his arm over your shoulders to balance him. Sam finally killed the vamp and lugged Dean over himself instead.

When they finally got to the car, Sam took the wheel while Dean pulled himself into the passenger seat.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Dean finally spoke after a few minutes of driving.

“What?” You asked from the back seat.

“You could’ve gotten hurt.” He said and began rubbing the back of his neck.

You sighed, “Good to know some things don’t change.”  You whispered to yourself, having heard those words a hundred times before.

“Huh?” Dean asked from the front seat.

“You two should talk.” Sam said suddenly.

Sam met your eyes in the rear-view mirror and you sighed.

“How about we get some food first?” You asked, and Dean finally seemed happy about something.

Next thing you knew, you were sliding into a booth with both men seated across from you.

You watched as your dad picked up a menu, drooling over the many food options as usual.

“You did good out there.” Sam said after he ordered himself a sandwich. “You got guts.”

“I learned from the best.” You said in a way that told Sam that you learned from him.

He smiled and took a sip of his drink.

“Thanks for saving my ass back there, by the way.” Dean said while taking a bite of his food.

“I thought you were pissed about that.” You stuck your fork into your waffle.

He shook his head, “I would’ve done the same thing.”

Sam rolled his eyes, waiting for Dean to realize who you were.  

“Oh, yeah.” Dean picked up a handful of fries and shoved them into his mouth, “What were you saying back in the car?” He asked Sam, with a fry hanging out of his mouth.

Sam simply replied with, “Look at her.”

Your heart began to race. Dean turned to you with his brow raised, trying to find something – anything on your face that would explain what Sam was saying.

“Dean.” Sam pushed, “Really, look at her.”

There you sat. Staring at your father who didn’t even know who you were. You watched as his eyes traveled over your face, then stopped at your eyes.

“Hey, Dad.” Slipped your lips.

The smile that had remained on his lips from earlier, faded. Sam looked over at his brother only to see him toss his napkin into his plate and leave the restaurant.

You stared at your uncle, wide eyed. “He- he hates me.”

“No!” Sam shouted, then lowered his voice. “No, he doesn’t. He- I’m going to go check on him.”

“Uncle Sam?” You grabbed the edge of his jacket before he could walk past.

“Yeah?”

“I can call Cas. I can go, right now if that’s what he wants.” You said and his eyes softened.

“Don’t. Please, don’t.” He begged, “I’ll be right back. Don’t call Cas.”

You nodded your head and busied yourself with your drink, sipping at it absentmindedly until there was nothing left.

Back outside, Sam found Dean leaning against the Impala.

“What the hell was that?” He raised his voice at his older brother.

“You’re telling me, Y/N is my kid?” He clenched his jaw, “And a hunter?”

Sam sighed, “That strong girl sitting in there is your daughter. My niece.”

“A hunter.” Dean reiterated.

“A reason to keep going.” Sam stated simply, and Dean considered it.

“Meaning?”

“All we’re doing, all the nights we spend- we spend totally wasted or nearly dead, well something great is going to come out of it.” Sam motioned towards the diner where you were waiting. “And the way that you just walked out on her tells me she’s about to call Castiel to take her back.”

“Leaving?” Dean peeled himself off of the car, “She wouldn’t-” He started, then sprinted towards the entrance of the diner.

You bumped into him as he nearly tore the door open.

“Y/N.” He breathed out.

“I should go, really.” You pushed past him and towards the parking lot.

“No!” He exclaimed and grabbed your arm. You turned around and looked up at him. He stared at you, seeing his own eyes looking back, and pulled you into a tight hug. You pressed your head against his familiar chest and smiled.

“So, you’re okay with me?” You asked.

“What?” He pulled you off of him, “Look at you.”

Sam walked up to the both of you and gave you the familiar smile you were so used to seeing.

Dean beamed at you, “Seriously. You’re the only good thing to come out of this life. Everything about you. I saw your strength and smarts today. You’re more than just okay. You’re fucking perfect.”

You smiled up at them, loving the compliment, “You’re pretty cool when you’re young.”

He scoffed, “When I’m young?”

“You get kinda cranky.” You shrugged.

“He’s always cranky.” Sam rolled his eyes, sending you into a fit of laughter.

Dean crossed his arms and scoffed.

“I’ll go grab our leftovers.” You said and started towards the diner.

“That’s my daughter!” Dean exclaimed with a smile, then suddenly turned to Sam.

“Daughter.” He repeated, realizing what he just said.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded.

“Huh.” Dean swung the car keys around his finger, “Daughter.”

“And a damn good one.” Sam said, causing Dean to smile.

He looked at his younger brother, then pulled him into a tight hug.

“I got a daughter, Sammy!” He exclaimed, “Ha!”

Sam began to laugh, pulling away from his older brothers grip.

You watched and listened from the door, careful not to interrupt. Right there, you saw exactly why Castiel sent you here. They just needed something to look forward to, and that’s where you came in. Cas knew that knowing you would make Dean realize that he wasn’t all bad, and that Sam would eventually get the family he always wanted. Your lip quirked upwards as you looked on. 

A familiar rustling of feather sounded behind you.

“I think you’re done here.” Castiel spoke from behind you.

You exhaled and looked at the boys beaming faces. “I am.”

Suddenly, you were back in your bedroom at the bunker.

Giving Up

Request:  Hi! Can you a sis fic based kind of like 11x12 in which the reader is staying with Jody, Claire and Alex because she screwed up a few hunts and when Sam and Dean come they see she is sad because she doesn’t have many friends and gave up hunting because Dean told her she was bad at it? Just basically really fluffy and angsty. Maybe she ends up saving Sam and Dean? I know it’s kinda long but I hope you take it into account :)) @newyorkrebel

A/N: As always, sorry for being dead to the world. I literally have hardly any free time and the free time I do have I don’t have the inspiration to write. Would love your feedback if you have any to give! Thanks guys I appreciate you for sticking with me even though I’m not a frequent writer. 

Characters: Sister!Reader, Dean, Sam, Claire (mentioned), Alex (mentioned), Jody, John (mentioned)

Warnings: swearing, angst, violence, arguing, self doubt/harsh words about self to self?, Dean being mean, fluff, mention of death but no dying.. I think that’s it, as always let me know if I missed anything

Tagging: @winchesters-favorite-girl @mycuddlycorner @percussiongirl2017 @wonderange @leenasleena-blog @tolaughistolove 
If you wanna be added/removed let me know!

Originally posted by winchester--bros-4-life

You were laying in bed with your headphones on, blocking out the world, listening to your favorite song that helped you forget how much your life sucked right now. You were thankful that Claire wasn’t in the room you both shared and both frequented, since you had a somewhat similar outlook on life. Pushed away and abandoned by those you cared about most, and hating your life. You had one difference, and that was that you no longer wanted to hunt, whereas Claire wanted to hunt more than anything, in fact, that’s where she was right now, investigating for a possible hunt. You figured that Claire only wanted to hunt because no one told her she sucked at it. She was a good hunter for sure, and you thought you were, but according to your brothers, who you loved more than anything, you were no good.

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Picture Perfect - Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester - Chapter 11

Title: Picture Perfect

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: Around 5.5k

Warnings: Angst, Blood

Prompt: I got it! Can you do a fic where Sam dies while (Y/N) is pregnant with his child and so Dean helps her raise the child and they live the apple pie life and right when Dean wants to propose to (Y/N), Sam returns to life & ANGST. Please and thank you

Special thank you to @gaveherhearttotheliontattoo for being an awesome beta! 

Read: Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l Part 6 l Part 7 l Part 8 l Part 9 l Part 10

“What?” you breathed out, your eyes glued to it.

“We will get you to agree, one way or another. But we will always make sure you…” she paused as you looked at her with wide eyes.

“And your unborn child stay alive.”

“Wha-” you blinked, shaking your head “No, no no. What- what the fuck is this?” you growled, feeling tears well up in your eyes once more and this time it was more intense, just like the feeling in your chest.

“Heart monitors, of course.” she said casually “To make sure your hearts just keep beating and that your pulses don’t rise dangerously so. I mean, it will all depend on you. How willing are you to risk your child’s life, (Y/n), for these hunters you call family?” she asked, clicking her pen and you clenched your jaw at her.

“What- I- I don’t- I’m not- I can’t- I-” you shut your eyes, breathing heavily and as expected your heart started beating faster as it was heard by one of the monitors. The contastly repeating sounds along with the awful smell of this place, and probably the condition you were in, made you feel even more dizzy than you were at first.

“What?” she chuckled, raising an eyebrow “Don’t tell me you didn’t know about it. Oh wow, apologies for breaking the easter egg a little too fast for you.” she said so casually you wished so bad you could do something to shut her up.

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