sam has never quite been the same since he went to hell (the cage)

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Dean has suffered more than Sam?

And does it actually matter/is it something we can even measure?

I take issue with many of the points OP brought up. I would never criticize the person who made this post, but I do strongly disagree with the content, and I’ll try to address the reasons why below. Thanks to the fantastic @eruthiawenluin, who brought the post to my attention. 

It’s near-impossible to quantify suffering. Both brothers have suffered; suffering is not a badge of honor but a fact of their lives. I’m not going to try to measure the levels of suffering each character has endured, because suffering can only be accurately measured by the person experiencing it.  We can only present facts, so I’m going to address the points of OP’s argument and why I disagree.

Beware: Potential fandom- and Dean-criticism.

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Fake dating fic part 13/13

The finale of Steve and Bucky fake-dating!

Summary: Happily ever after :)

Warnings: Don’t think so.

It took a bit of effort on Steve’s part to convince Sam that he didn’t need distracting, and he wasn’t planning to find a bar and sit there alone, crying into several consecutive glasses of bourbon.

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Imagine saving Sam’s life despite the fact that you can’t forgive him for leaving you.


Pairing: Sam x Reader

Lines: 57. I never stood a chance did I? That’s the sad thing… you did once.and 65. You ruined me

Requested by: @flyin-down-a-backroad. Hope you like it. Sorry it has taken me so long to get to it. I’ve been writing a lot of different things lately. Forgive me for taking so long! If you’ve requested lines for my celebration, I PROMISE I’m getting to them. 

Word Count: 980


Sam had been the last person you expected to run into on this hunt. Almost two years ago, Sam had thrown himself into the cage with Lucifer and Michael. Dean had offered to let you stay with him, but being with him would be a constant remind of what you lost, of Sam, so you went your own way.

Months later, you ran into Sam with an older hunter who looked familiar, but you couldn’t quite place him. Sam had been cold and distant. Heartless even. Something was wrong with him, but you hadn’t been able to figure out what. You had watched him be merciless. He had walked away from you, and he told you to forget about him.

Until now, you had, at least to the best of your ability. You had managed to steer clear of the Winchester brothers. You were tracking a couple of Vetalas when you stumbled upon Sam. He had been tied up and close to death. There was another guy who had been even closer to death. You didn’t recognize him.

You had almost managed to free Sam when Dean and some teen had barged in. They almost ruined everything. The teen, Krissy, knew how to play her cards though. While she had distracted everyone in the room, you returned to Sam’s side to free him.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” Sam mumbled as you cut him free. He rubbed his wrists as he looked to you for an answer.

“I could ask you the same damn question, Sam,” you retorted angrily. Just as you freed Sam, Krissy killed the Vetala that was holding her at knife point.

You had thrown Sam’s arm over your shoulder to help him up. Once Dean was free, he ran to your side and quickly had Sam’s other arm slung over his shoulder. “Where on earth have you been, Y/N?” Dean asked as the two of you carried Sam out to the car. “I’ve tried to find you several times. You’re a hard woman to track,” Dean admitted.

“Staying away like Sam asked,” you replied as the three of you reached the Impala. Sam looked at you, confused. “It’s what Sam wanted, insisted on actually, when I ran into him almost a year ago,” you paused, remembering the encounter. You looked at Sam. “You were with that older hunter. He looked familiar,” recalled.

A knowing look crossed Dean’s face while Sam’s face was still clouded with confusion. You walked away, not wanting to go against Sam’s wishes although you couldn’t help but notice that Sam seemed like Sam again.

“You’re leaving?” Sam asked, the pain and sorrow clear in his voice. “I never stood a chance, did I?” Sam pleaded.

You rounded on him. “That’s the sad thing, Sam, you did once. You shot me down, told me to stay away. Now you want a chance? Why the change of heart Sam? Did you suddenly find a conscience?” you fired, gasping for breath when you stopped, looking at Sam, your eyes pleading with him to give you an answer.

When he said nothing, hanging his head as tears fell from his eyes, you stepped closer to him and shoved him with little conviction. “You ruined me, Sam!” you cried. “I thought you had found your way back to me only to have you be cold and bitter towards me. I loved you,” you cried as you fell against his chest, sobbing. “I still love you,” you managed between sobs. “Despite everything!”

Sam wrapped his long arms around you and held you close. You inhaled deeply a scent that was uniquely Sam. “What in the hell happened, Sam?”

“Y/N.” It wasn’t Sam who responded, but Dean. “So much has happened since the cage. You don’t even know, how could you? You left,” Dean explained, not blaming you but simply stating fact. “Sammy, she needs to know,” Dean continued, looking from you to his little brother.

Sam sighed against you before speaking. “Will you at least give me a chance to explain? If you want to leave anyway, I’ll understand. I deserve that.”

“I’ll listen,” you managed, pulling away from him, looking into his eyes.

Over the next few days, you learned about Dean’s time with Lisa while he thought Sam was lost to him. Sam told you about coming back, but staying away from Dean for a year because, little did he realize, he had returned without a soul. Sam had knew something was wrong, but it took time to figure out what exactly. Sam had run into you while he was hunting with his grandfather. He had managed to get his soul back after returning to Dean, but of course more hell had broke loose.

Leviathans. Bobby’s death. The wall holding back hell in Sam’s mind breaking, and his hallucinations of Lucifer. Losing Cas.

It was all so much to take in. You had felt like a fool for staying away for so long. You wished that Dean had tried to find you, but you couldn’t blame him. You had made it clear that you needed your space, just as Sam had. “Sam, I didn’t know,” you said, falling into his arms.

“How could you have? I told you to stay away,” he said.

“That wasn’t you though. Not you,” you said placing a hand on his heart and looking into his eyes.

“Does that mean you’ll stay? I don’t want to do this without you anymore,” he confessed, looking into your eyes.

You place a tentative kiss on his lips and said, “You won’t get rid of me again, Sammy.” With that his large hands were on both sides of your face, pulling you into a hungry, desperate kiss. It was as if he was fresh air, and you hadn’t taken a deep breath in over a year. His lips were greedy against yours, his hands roamed your body with need. You lost yourself in his touch, determined to save the man that you had never stopped loving even after all this time.

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gay stuff and not so gay stuff i have read: may/june edition

HEY, it’s that time again! I’m rounding up my reading for the last two months. (Because I forgot to do this at the end of May, plz don’t tell.)

The standard caveat: these books are rated by an obscure system of my own devising that neither reflects quality or skill, only an esoteric personal preference.

This took me seven years to write and it is super long, so please enjoy this nutritious Read More.

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