sam cavalier

Kids are pissed off. People are wising up to everything that’s going on in the world, and heavy music is an escape again. And they’d rather support real music and real bands, where they’re like ‘I get you, I’m on the same level as you,’ compared to these bigger pop artists that take your money and spit you out and not give a shit. Music is becoming so much more exciting, because it’s becoming like a community.
—  Sam Carter, Architects.

Another oldie but a goodie! The idea behind this one was to redraw an old comic I did long ago but vastly improve it. In the beginning they were all dogs, but now things match a bit better. In all honesty I could stand to fix the text a bit, but hey, this is older and I have other things that need out of my head.

What they are:

Danny: American Badger (duh)

Tucker: Lion

Sam: Cavalier king Charles Spaniel

Red Meat: The Man I Love

So, I’m sure that’s not healthy, or anything, but Supernatural is quickly turning into both the thing that makes me happy and excited and that I wait for the whole week and the no. 1 reason why I’m depressed and want to throw up all the time.

But, well, I still liked this last episode. Apparently they’ve finally learned how to make interesting and gritty filler episodes - this season is turning out to be amazing. So, I want to say I’m a normal person and that this is all I have to say about Red Meat, but, yeah, I’ll probably watch it again over the weekend and write something else about it, so. In the meantime, though, here goes - a structureless meta about that one detail that had me stare at the screen and say What for about ten minutes.

So, Supernatural has always liked its mirrors, but lately it has become such a funhouse I’m not even sure what the hell is going on. For instance, Red Meat is built on a Romeo and Juliet theme. Dean killing himself after he thought Sam was dead? Come on. But, well, as strong as this subtext is, we know we can’t take it at face value because everything so far denies the incest reading of this show, so it’s about something else.

The good thing is, we know what. Things are (again) getting so obvious the show is creaking at the hinges in an effort to hold on to plot and character coherence. Sam being so cavalier about Cas, for instance, is not normal, especially after this last season framed him as the Let’s save everyone guy. But we need that as a contrast with the way Dean is behaving - his obession to find Cas; his inability to carry on normally without someone who (in a way) chose to walk away - here is the parallel with Sam’s chirpiness and insistence they work cases and It’s like going camping, sweet. So Sam needs to be like this because of plot reasons but also because he knows his brother, and he can see how close he is to just let go. Because Dean already felt useless and unwanted and tainted before, and now - this Amara business is (in his mind) all his fault; and the most tragic thing here is that all this mess has to do with feelings, those things Dean isn’t sure he’s allowed to experience and bring nothing but trouble. It’s because he trusted Crowley (because he likes Crowley, and how messed up is that?) that he got the Mark in the first place; and it’s because he wasn’t able to kill Sam, or Cas, or even himself, that Amara was freed. And now he can’t fight her because he’s bonded to her and he can’t save Cas because he’s not thinking straight because he misses him so much and he’s so worried about him (and also, if he’d been there for his brother, Lucifer would never have risen at all).

(Of course, I don’t believe that, but we know this is how Dean sees the world: whatever happens, whenever it happens, it’s his fault. Always.)

So it’s perhaps a good choice that this episode chose such a glaring subtext. A thing to do with feelings, and how dangerous they are, and how little they matter (Romeo and Juliet still died, and countless people with them, because no, love doesn’t conquer all). The thing is, though - this mirror is built up and up, but it’s enough to have one single sentence for it to come crashing down.

The man I love, says the woman in the end, and Dean looks - well. And that can never, never be a way to refer to Sam, despite the fact that the parallel is carried out to the bitter end in the final scene, when Sam echoes the conversation by asking Dean what he did when he thought he was dead.

Now, I’m not saying that to cheapen the relationship between the two brothers. I do believe Dean loves Sam, and I even believe that, in a way, Dean loves Sam more than he will ever love anyone or anything (that he loves Sam more than Cas, because Dean is Sam’s brother, and okay, but he’s mostly Sam’s parent, and the love there is between a parent and a child - that’s beyond romantic love, period), but that’s an odd way to put it. The man I love. That idea could have been framed in a dozen different ways, and then it would have worked as a mirror for Sam (the person you love the most, for instance), but as it is, it doesn’t. No, this is about Cas, who’s been taken away from Dean and now Dean can’t function. When Sam died, he didn’t even try to. He could have called Crowley, but he didn’t. He could have tried to summon an angel, but he didn’t. He could have found a witch, or a dozen other thing - but, yeah, no. What he did, and Billie saw straight through him, and that’s her job, so I’m trusting her judgement here - he killed himself. He wasn’t even sure the doctor would be able to bring him back. He didn’t care. He wanted to die, and that’s it. After all, we’ve seen a bunch of times what ‘normal’ is for Dean when Sam dies (demonic deals, for instance), and this wasn’t it. This was Dean, giving up.

So, yeah, I really wanted this episode to be about Sam, because I love him, and he’s so amazing - he basically saved himself even after having been shot and choked half to death - killed two werewolves - got out of the woods - fucking saved his brother’s life - but I think that this was, again, about Dean.

(What it also did: it proved Sam is okay. That Sam is a grown-up and can take care of himself and doesn’t need Dean being a martyr o a guardian for him - not anymore. So that’s good.)

No, Team Free Will is not working all that well, which is why it’s not random that all the other couples in this episode are mismatched and dangerously out of balance - the two werewolves can’t take Sam and Dean even after they’ve been warned; those other two werewolves can’t work together effectively and end up being killed by a man who’s lost half his body weight in blood; and, of course, the married couple - the Dean/Cas mirror. The man is taken over by a beast, ends up doing something despicable and unforgivable (giving in to those new instincts and that new strength inside him) to save the woman he loves, and, surprise, it doesn’t end well. How could it? How could it ever?