salut bonjour

internet slang

as promised, some keyboard slang (we stole a lot from you)(sue us). I wrote what is accurate at the moment, a few years ago it was quite popular to write lik this m8 but it became pretty unhip (I could tell you that you can type “aussi” (: too, as well) “O6″ but literally no one has done that since 2008) most people write normally and add some of the following words :

basics :

- jpp (je n’en peux plus) : I can’t stand it anymore, I’m dying from the lols

- osef (on s’en fout) : no one cares

- mdr (mort-e de rire) / ptdr (pété-e de rire) : lol

- cmb / ctb (comme ma bite/comme ta bite) “like my dick/like your dick” : easy punchline to almost anything, ex : “the line was so long!” “cmb” “you have a short memory” (expr ”tu as la mémoire courte”) “ctb”

- cmt (comment) : how / cmb (combien) : how much/many

- slt (salut) / bjr (bonjour) / bsr (bonsoir) : hello

- bn (bonne nuit) : good night

- bcp (beaucoup) : a lot, much, many / tp (trop) : too, too much

- mtnt (maintenant) : now / ajd (aujourd’hui) : today / jms (jamais) : never

- srtt (surtout) : especially, above all / vrmt (vraiment) : really

- jsp (je ne sais pas) : I don’t know / ms (mais) but

- pr (pour) : for / pcq / pq (parce que) : because

- pq / pk (pourquoi) : why

- ss (sans) : without OR (sous) : under / sr (sur) : over, on

- tt (tout) : all, everything OR (tant) : so much, as long

- mn (mon) : my (m) / tn (ton) : your (m) / sn (son) : his/her

- ns (nous) : we OR (nos) : ours / vs (vous) : you (pl) OR (vos) yours (pl) / lr (leur(s)) : their / theirs

- fr (faire) : to do, make

- tmtc (toi-même tu sais) : you know what I’m talking about, private joke

- tkt / tqt (ne t’inquiète pas) : don’t worry

- c (c’est) : it is OR (sais/sait) : know (½/3p sg) / ct (c’était) : it was

- d (des) : some, ex : mange des chips / t (tes) : your (pl for one person)

- h (heure) : time/hour, ex : on se voit à ql h? (at what time do we meet?)

- keske (qu’est-ce que) : what is, ex : qu’est-ce c’est?

- kesta (qu’est-ce que tu as) : what’s up/wrong with you?

- ke / q (que) : that/what, ex : ke ve tu? (what do you want?)

- ql / kel (quel(s)/quelle(s)) : what/which

- askip (à ce qu’il paraît) : from what I’ve heard, apparently…

- oklm (au calme) : relaxed, calm, ex : petite soirée oklm avec les potes #posés

borrowing to english or kids :

- go : to leave (j’y go)

- dodo (beddy byes) : to sleep, sleeping (je vais dodo)

- miam (aka “yum”) : to eat (je vais miam)

- lol, the legendary

- chiller : to go somewhere and have some relaxed time, without doing much

- fat : something big/amazing, ex : cette soirée est trop fat!

dropping the vowels : 

it’s hard to explain but since so many words in french contain “ou”, “an”, “ai” or “on” (…), when we need or want to make verbs (or possessive pronouns as we have already seen) smaller, we drop those letters and the other person guesses what’s missing regarding the context.

a few examples (but you can play with lots of other verbs) :

- vx / vt (veux/veut) : to want, ½/3p sg, ex : tu vx d pom? je ss o magasin (do you want apples? I’m at the store) OR (voit) : to see, meet, 3p sg

- ss / st (sais/sait) : to know, ½/3p sg OR (suis/suit) : to follow, ½/3p sg OR (suis/sont) : to be 1p sg+3p pl, ex : où st t frères? (where are your brothers?)

- cns (connais) : to know someone, 1p sg

- pvs (pouvons) : to can, be able/allowed to, 1p pl

NB : I have used 1/2/3p sg or pl several times in that post, if you have doubts it means that those forms are the conjugated forms - reminder : je / tu / il-elle-on (singulier) ; nous / vous / ils-elles (pluriel).

Beau, soyez libre

LeFou whimpers as Gaston stomps away from the small boy. He called LeFou childish and went off to play with the older children. All LeFou has said, is that he would love to play hide-and-seek. Is that not a normal game to play for a nine-year-old boy? According to Gaston it’s not, but LeFou doesn’t want to go after the older boy to apologise for being childish, even though, maybe he should.

“What’s wrong?” LeFou looks up from where he’s sitting on the ground, to see a child, maybe two years younger than himself, standing in front of him. LeFou shuffles his feet, looking back down and not daring to look the girl in the eye. “What do you want?” He mumbles, frustrated. Surely, she’ll mock him too. “My maman said I should try and make friends with people who seem nice. You seem nice.” She flops down onto the grass next to LeFou. “I don’t play with girls.” LeFou mumbles, remembering how Gaston had laughed at him for playing chase with a girl the week prior. “I’m not a girl!” The small boy(?) said indignant. LeFou flinches. “Sorry! I didn’t mean – Why are you wearing a dress?” The boy shuffles his feet nervously. “Because it makes me feel pretty.” The boy starts looking more and more miserable every question LeFou asks him. 

“I – I should go.” The boy gets up and LeFou scrambles on his feet as well. “Wait! Don’t go, I’m sorry.” LeFou sounds desperate. “I never – I never talk to kids my own age.” LeFou explains. “I don’t know how.” The other boy nods in understanding. “There are no kids for me to play with where I live, either.” LeFou steps forward. “I really do like your dress. It does make you look really pretty.” The boy brightens immediately, twirling in a circle. “You really think so? My maman made it for me!” The boy looks at LeFou, so honest and vulnerable and open and LeFou etches the sight in his memory, hoping that one day, someone will look at him like this again. It makes LeFou feel important, like he matters and he finally knows the right things to say, something that rarely happens.

“Pink suits you really well.” The boy stops twirling. “Pink? This is peach!” “I-I’m sorry!” LeFou stammers. He really is a fool. The boy’s face softens. “I couldn’t tell many of the colours apart at first either.” He assures LeFou. “Until maman teached me. Do you want to play hide-and-seek with me?” LeFou perks up. “I’d love to!”


“Stanleeeeeeyy.” LeFou singsongs as he enters their cottage, expecting an answer but receiving none. When he walks to their dining table he sees a small piece of parchment with a quick sketch of a castle on it. Due to LeFou’s illiteracy, Stanley and LeFou figured out a way to tell where they can be found without using letters, simply by drawing a little sketch of the place they would be at.

LeFou picks up his satchel from the floor, before mounting Pote and taking off towards the castle.

Ever since the curse has been broken, Stanley has spent a lot of time at the castle, trying to spend as much time with his lost family as he possibly can. Madame de Garderobe and maestro Cadenza were thrilled when their Stanley ended up on their doorstep, but they were a lot less thrilled he showed up as a part of an angry mob to kill their master.

“Bonjour Monsieur LeFou.” Lumière greets as LeFou enters the castle. He is seated at the fireplace with Plumette, for it’s a rather chilly day in December. “Good afternoon, Lumière, Plumette.” “He is in Madame’s room.” LeFou nods, walking up the stairs and down the hall in the east wing. He can hear excited chatter. Maestro Cadenza walked out of the chamber, a happy smile on his face. “Ah, LeFou, salut!” “Bonjour Maestro.” LeFou smiles, the maestro talks so loud, he’s surprised the whole castle can’t hear him speaking. “Let’s go ask Mrs. Potts for a cup of tea, shall we? Stanley will surely join us in a moment.”


LeFou laughs loudly at Mrs. Potts’ detailed story of how Stanley used to play pranks on all of the staff within the castle. Her face softens. “He used to be such a lonely child. He was a child of us all and we wanted him to make friends so badly, but the master never allowed the boy to leave the grounds.” She seems sad now, and Cadenza sighs. “He ran away one day. He was 17, if I’m not mistaken.” LeFou turns to Cadenza, not used to the maestro looking so serious. “It was the day the curse was cast upon the castle. The master had yelled at him for being a- for being different.” He couldn’t get the word over his lips, but LeFou heard it anyways. Sodomite.

Adam had judged Stanley for his interest in males.

“Stanley ran away from the grounds and forgot about it the same day. Forgot about us.” There are tears in Cadenza’s eyes. LeFou is speechless. He never knew why Stanley was in the village during the day the castle was cursed, Stanley refuses to talk about it. It all makes sense now.

The door the kitchen opens, revealing Madame de Garderobe, Stanley trailing behind her. LeFou’s eyes widen as he stands up from his chair, not taking his eyes off Stanley. Stanley shuffles his feet nervously, not daring to look LeFou in the eyes. “I-” His fingers pluck at the fabric of the dress he’s wearing.

LeFou slowly steps closer, taking in the sight in front of him. Stanley’s body was wrapped in delicate fabrics and his eyes were underlined with coal, his lips made a darker shade of pink.

“Stanley, you-” Madame de Garderobe steps forward slightly, looking protective over her boy.

LeFou places his hand on Stanley’s cheek, forcing the man to look at him. “You look gorgeous, mon amour.” Stanley perks up at that, not dropping his guard completely, not yet. “You really think so?” He asks carefully. “Yes!” “They make me feel pretty.” Stanley bites his lip, still looking unconvinced. “You look beautiful, Stanley. They do make you look pretty.” Stanley looks up, looking so honest and vulnerable and open and memories come rushing back at LeFou.

The boy he met when he was young, he recognises him now, in an older version, perhaps, but he never changed his love for dresses. “The pink – Peach, suits you.” Stanley looks at him with unbelieving eyes. “You remember that?” LeFou steps forward. “How could I forget that look of pure joy?” Stanley leans down, capturing LeFou’s lips with his own, before freezing and backing up, nervously looking over his shoulder to his maman.

She looks fondly at the pair. Love, that’s all she’s ever wanted for her boy and she knows that LeFou will take good care of him. Beautiful, be free.

Stained Glass Eyes

Note: I’m a new fic writer! I love writing but I’m also super busy so I’m not sure how frequently I’ll get to write but I’m doing this so hopefully more often than not. Lmao also I started writing this like 2 years ago for a completely different fandom so the first few chapters (bc there will be more than one) the writing could be a little weird, I’m editing them and such but they’ll most probably be different than later chapters bc I’d like to hope that my writing has improved since then :) This is the 1st chapter, so it’s just getting things started, let me know if a part 2 is wanted!

Pairing: Lafayette x reader

Summary: (High School! AU) Lafayette and (Y/N) are seniors, and their paths only crossed under an unfortunate (and unlikely) event.

Warnings: some swearing, semi-badly translated french

Word count: 2310

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ghstbusting  asked:

reading text speak in french is so odd but I love it. are there things like "lol" in french that french speakers use but english speakers don't?

This is a fun question. I grew to type everything properly in french in my texts so I’m bad at this but here is what I remember or still catch in other people’s texts.

How To (Badly) French Text 101 - The basics

MDR: Mort de rire (Dying of laughter)

SLT: Salut (Hi)

BJR: Bonjour (Hello)

DSL: Désolé(e) (Sorry)

PK: Pourquoi (Why)

JTM: Je t’aime (I love you)

RPZ: Représente (Represent. It’s some kind of a joke)

OKLM: Au calme (chill)

TKT: T’inquiètes pas (Don’t worry)

DTC: Dans ton cul (in your ass)

VTF: Vas te faire (go fuck yourself)

RAF: Rien à faire/foutre (I don’t care/give a fuck)

SMS: A text/message

And that’s all I could think of

This or That (Carmilla fanfic for #CreampuffWeek)

Day 1: Hot Chocolate and Gingerbread

Rating: G
Words: 885
Description: Laura wants to procrastinate, so she makes Carmilla play a game of This or That with her.
Pairings: Established relationship Hollstein

A/N: This is some major plotless fluff to kick off Creampuff Week.

I’m going to dedicate this to thatssocee and myonequestion because I clog up their inboxes with my rambles so I might as well do nice things for them.

(AO3 Link)

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dextersluminizeworld  asked:

Can you please help me on what to do and not to do in France?

The pleasure is all mine just be aware that I am a Parisian so this is going to basically be “What you should and shouldn’t do in Paris”, plus a majority of it is just common sense anyway.

  1. We don’t ‘hug’. If you come from the US, a ‘hug’ in France would be too much, so you might see us as a bit reserved or ‘cold’. We tend to do “la bise” on both of the cheeks, sometimes four, three, or one time. It’s absolutely normal to do it with everyone no matter gender or age. This isn’t the case with everyone though, some would rather shake hands. If you are a man give your hand first rather then your cheek unless the other person means to kiss you.
  2. Saying hello {Bonjour, Salut}, please {S'il vous plaît} and thank you {Merci} is very important. If you enter a shop or restaurant the staff isn’t there to serve you, more than the regular service. The staff will give you the service that you deserve, the client isn’t the king. If you enter a shop, and don’t say “Hello” or even in the metro if you just ask “a ticket”, that’s no good. Show respect, treat us like your friends.
  3. Tips are very common and sort of ‘expected’ at restaurants, delivery men, cab drivers, for many things actually. 
  4. Here are a couple things you should know before going to the metro. ALWAYS keep on your right! If you’re not walking stay on your right side. Don’t stop in the middle, when it’s crowded don’t sit on the fold-up seats, the most important is to stay on your right side if you do that, your experience in the metro will be better. Eating and drinking in the metro is fine.
  5. What you should avoid id being noisy. Not talking too loud or laughing too loud, in all public that is, or public spaces really that is important.
  6. If you have a runny nose just blow your nose and get it over with, sniffing is very rude.
  7. Table etiquette! Talking with your mouth full is rude, you must sit properly, don’t eat with your mouth open, don’t eat with your fingers or suck up the soup, we don’t slurp noodles. You must wait until everyone is served.
  8. Holding open the door for people in super important.
  9. Do not start talking to us using English please try and speak French and if you can’t speak French just tell us politely. Not all of us speak really good English so bare with us.
  10. Do dress well as us Parisians take great pride in fashion.

See most of this is just common sense and if you have any questions please feel free to ask me. If you are from France and you wish to add on go right ahead.