I am still evolving in my understanding of my gender identity. My story is not one of dysphoria, or a deep and certain understanding that I wasn’t who people said I was. My story is more along the lines of things just feeling off. And not really knowing things didn’t feel right because that uncomfortability was all I knew. Then suddenly I was introduced to the idea that I could be nonbinary and things just felt right and I finally understood what it was to be entirely in my body, what it was to be happy, to be thankful. I liken it to drinking salt water your whole life. If there is enough salt water for you to drink, you won’t die. Your thirst will never be quenched, and you won’t realize that your never ending thirst isn’t actually a necessary part of your life. You might not even realize that other people actually are satisfied and fulfilled after drinking water, because you don’t realize your saltwater is inherently different than their freshwater. Until one day something happens and you drink freshwater for the first time. And your whole world shifts. You are not unendingly thirsty anymore. You feel satisfied. You understand what it is to relax, to rest, to be comfortable. You never knew you needed fresh water. You didn’t know that you had only been getting salt water. You realize that other people had been feeling this satisfaction, this comfortability all along, that is why their lives seemed to fit them better. That is my story. The story of finally learning I needed freshwater.
OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS
white/white-passing trans folx: can we please do better for our trans people of color, especially dark black trans women? Let’s not fetishize them by focusing on how attractive they are to us. Let’s not only show the posts where they are murdered. They are human beings just like us and do not exist in the world for our pleasure or guilt. Let’s respect their agency.
able bodied trans folx: let us do better for our fellow disabled trabs folx. They are fucking valid and rarely if ever get representation. Let’s do better by not using them as inspiration porn. They are existing outside society’s narrow ideas of how people’s bodies and minds should be. They aren’t needing our pity or our comparisons. They need a platform from which to tell their stories. Let’s support their platform.
TLDR: trans folx please represent other trans folx who have different areas of marginalization than you. Trans representation and visibility is abysmal enough. Let’s continue to recognize the intersections and places in which we have privilege. The fight for trans rights are for ALL trans people.
* I definitely didn’t mention all areas of marginalization, I mentioned the two that I am most aware of my privilege in. Please feel free to add on or correct any mistakes I have made.
* for those trans folx who are not wanting or able to participate, you are in my thoughts today. You are not alone.